Saturday and doing good
 

I am doing much better than expected. I was able to take off my bandage last night, I have 4 little holes/w stitches, felt good to take a shower. Then Dirk put the bandaid's on the incisions. I look like crap, but I really don't care, my hair, ughhhhhhhhh can't do it with one hand.....:(

I don't have the pain I had prior to the surgery. I am just really sore, my pain seems to flare up when I am trying to get comfy to sleep, I wake up during the night stiff, sore and in pain. I just can't get comfy, this too shall pass.:(

You really don't realize how much you use your arms. When I had my sling off to do my little exercises and take a shower, I found myself going to use my left arm, it's just habit, that is why you HAVE to keep the sling on most of the time. It's not like if you had a cast on something and couldn't use it at all. It's your shoulder and it is so used to being used.

So, I am going to try and take a real good nap today, I really need it.;)

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

We never realise what our body does until something happens to it. It's an amazing machine.

I am so glad you are healing well. I wish the pain and discomfort were over.

I have been thinking about you all week. It is remarkable how well you are feeling. Strong lady!!

Bear

YOu are doing great!!!!!
thanks for the update.....hang in there!
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi:hug:

Glad you are doing well Nikko. Keep us posted on how things are going. :)

I can sure understand how much you use the left arm and shoulder.

Hoping you can get to the beauty shop for a shampoo. That is what
I had to do last week because I couldn't lift my arm without screaming.

Think I'll be going at least once a week if I can afford it for a while.

But we will see.

Donna

Hi Nikko,

Thank you for the update. Donna's idea of the beauty shop is great if you can afford it.

Hugs to you and Well Wishes for a Speedy recovery.

befuddled2

Maybe even a beauty school would do it for a few bucks?
great idea donna!
Donna,What is up with your shoulder...I forgot.:o
bizi
Just wondering if any of you guys like to partake in a little adult beverages?

I am drinking the best stout beer....
Beamish!
fantastic!!
going to watch the movie:
disturbia....
report back later.
bizi

Well I found out Friday that I have bursitis in my shoulder. And I am now ordered to not do any thing over head. Which was not a problem. Because
it is hard to move it over head anyway.

I got a cortisone shot I was in so much pain. And Have naproxen 500 for
the inflamation and am to get a evaluation and start physical therapy for
this too.

Seems my second home is pt now.

Donna

ouch!
is it from spurs? or from over use or did you have something traumatic happen?
hope the meds help with the pain and glad that you still are seeing your PT.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Glad I stopped in here and found your thread!! Wishing you a speedy and uneventful recovery. Take a nap whenever you can!

Hugs, J. :Heart:

Well honestly at this time. There is no seen reason for it.

So no clue. I had no fall, so its not that. I would guess over use.
But I do know that it was already having problems before my car
had a flat tire right before my son went into the hospital.

I had to drive a stick shift for 2 days. And it was unavoidable, and
I've told my husband its really something that we own so many vehicles
and I have to be the one that is put in a place to have to be in trouble
if it comes down to no vehicle if mine goes down. Or resort to driving
something bad for my health.

I have refused so far, but this time it wasn't a choice, it was just to
be to therapy and home. Which I thought okay one time. I can do
this. And of course it was 6am in the morning my husband had tried
to put air in the tire. But it was leaking as fast as going in.

I had known the night before, I was lucky to get home. Not getting yelled
at was my luck, its hard for him not to yell at me. But I thought okay.
I will do this, and tonight he will change the tire, and go get me one.

Well he spent the evening at the hospital instead, which is were I wanted him at. And it wasn't his fault. If I hadn't needed to be at the hospital and to help a client the next day I wouldn't have driven the thing anywhere either. But it wasn't a choice. I also hurt the clutch, but he didn't kill me, luckily.

Then on Saturday, he took us to the hospital, me and Derrick, and my car to get it both back tires. He had bought it front tires at christmas for my present. Its the only way I get things for it. But that is okay, I don't need the clothes he gets that don't fit anyway, so I get to go buy my own instead.

But he is now mad at me, because of the credit cards I have had to use. Ugh, I hate it when he is mad, but he will get better I hope.

Donna

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I think getting your hair done will make you feel much better, it always does for me. I plan on it, since I am allowed by my surgeon to drive to his appt, on Wed., I will see how I feel afterwards.

I am glad your husband was at the hospital.

The yelling at you really has to stop, when you stop and think about why he is yelling at you, it might be him just venting, but you should not be his target, and he should be able to control his anger.

Getting tires for Christmas, well isn't that big of him, sorry but I just don't put up with men' crap and bull anymore. You speak of him killing you for screwing up a clutch, the damn clutch could of went on it's own.

The credit cards, well doesn't he use them too? I'm sure some of those charges are for things for he house, etc..... It's time to get tough girl, you do not deserve to be treated this way, nor is there any reason for it.

You have enough on your plate, don't let him treat you this way, tell him exactly how you feel when he does yell at you or treat you badly. Verbal abuse isn't any different really than domestic violence abuse. Been there, had it done to me.

Sending you lots of hugs, Nikko:hug:

Thank Nikko

Honestly he wrote it all done in a letter. But vented while I was out shopping.
Its hard to explain. But when money is tight, I have to use the cards. Because he doesn't allow me more than he thinks I need to pay the bills.

I can't seem to show him why its not working that way. I also try to help Devin and his lady. Which I can't exactly use as a excuse then he just yells that Devin needs a job. Well that might be so, but school is much more important.

Anyway, he is stressed and before it was always he would divorce me, if I did things. Thats how we got married. Just life.

You have to realize I married into a family that had no real way of communicating. I'm hoping I've given my son's a little better.

But my middle son has inherited to much of his dad at times.

Donna

I don't know what to say to you without my domestic counselling coming out.

Are you afraid of him? Afraid of divorce?

I agree Devin's schooling is very important.:)

Are you happy in this type of marriage? If I am over stepping my boundries, just tell me to shut up and I will.

I am worried about you though.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs, Nikko:hug:

Donna, that sounds crazy the way he is rationing out money...it doesn't sound like it is working....
and you work too right?
this doesn't sound right at all.
I am sorry for you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

He is not rational about money at all. IS the problem. But that is the least of it right now. I will work through this.

My biggest problem right now is that with my own medical bills, I had about 2000.00 more in bills this year. And its really hard to work through them.

I also had my own hours cut the last two years. ANd this hasn't helped the
situation. So its making it hard on all. I'm very insecure about that too.

I just have 19 hours a week now, I had 16 last year. I used to have 24 hours. I work as many as i want many in my own home on this computer.

SO its not like I spend it driving. But I do need to find a way around the
cards and I will just as soon as I get them out of the way.

Heehee, I feel lots better just talking about it. Even to the point of making him look so bad. He isn't really that bad most the time. Its just that he was raised to look like a poor person, and really his parents had money.

ANd his mom know has money and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish I could tell her. But I don't dare.

Donna

Donna,
Wow, you must have a really big deductable...
financial issues are a huge stressor.
We cut up our charge cards and only use a debit card now....comes out of checking and everything is right there out in the open....only one account and we both have access to it.
Wish I could say we are out of debt...we are not.
Although we should be in 2 years if we continue paying down the balance.
WE have had many heart to heart conversations not fun but neccasary.
Combining our accounts a year ago really helped us over all...
hard and not easy though.
bizi

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Donna))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Maybe just a heart to heart conversation with your husband would help.

Is he disabled and unable to work?

Sometimes when the wife is the only one that works, it does a job on a man, or if the woman makes more money than the man, that kills them too.'

Wishing you the best. Keep venting, we are here for you, I know what you mean, just talking about thing helps, like going to the p-doc or therapist, but this form is actually better for me, yet I still go to the others.

Nikko

No he isn't disabled. And he works makes lots compared to me. He just choses to spend it on rental houses. That he has had for a long time. That aren't doing as well know as they were.

But the thing is. That instead of that being our deductible.

Its 500 a person. I hit my deductible in February. Derrick hit his in probably February too, or close. My husbands was hit somewhere in May or June.

Then to top it off this year for the third time I think, I hit the maximum we
pay for me, 1500.00 out of pocket. Just for me. So thats the 2000.00.

That doesn't cover Derrick's he is over 1000.00 now. And My husband
well suffice to say, he is close to 700.00 I think.

Its just been a rough medical year. He lets me pay the medical bills, thinks I have enough money in my accounts that we have together to cover them.

I have tried talking to him, he doesn't listen.

So I'll get them paid, and then become a hermit. And hope I can just get enough to take care of Derrick.

Donna

That is a lot of money to have to come up with....but the alternative is unthinkable.
thank god we have insurances though.
I work about 3/4 time myself....couldn't really work full time nor a regular job with the way that I am.
bizi

[QUOTE=Dmom3005;158271Heehee, I feel lots better just talking about it. Even to the point of making him look so bad. He isn't really that bad most the time. Its just that he was raised to look like a poor person, and really his parents had money.[/QUOTE]

Hi, Donna,

Money is hard to talk about and even when you do, people are not always reasonable.

I learned a lot from watching Suzi Orman (sp).
Yeah, she is annoying, but her first books/shows were about being open about money, not being ashamed to talk about what you make, what you owe, . . . I learned a little bit. Mostly I learned that I have deep emotional issues with money.


It sounds like you have a plan.
Good luck.

Mari

Well I can honestly say, I really appreciate all you guys have given this weekend. I set it all out, but still can't tell what all is on the credit cards.

I just will take them down and not tell him. But that will work.

He is scared I guess that he will get laid off soon, ugh we need that one again right now. Seems he is expecting at the most a month of work.
Which we have done this before and can do it again. So that is life.

I wont wait this time though. Last time I waited to put Derrick on free lunches and to take advantage of some of the things he can have.

I just don't know a way to get medicaid for him. We will just have to watch
his insurance. Ugh, I'm so mad at the county right now, 5 or more years
ago, they lost his medicaid waiver. Or he would have back up insurance.

And we wouldn't be looking at finding 600.00 a month at some point.

Donna

That does sound frustrating Donna.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi