Woke up so many times..............
 

Well, I know I am not going to be worth much today. I must of woke up 4 times last night.:confused: I got up, then back to bed.

Then the dogs and cockatiels woke me up early.

My arm is sore, must of slept on it some.:confused:

I think I am going through that phase, when something is coming up that bothers me, this happens with my sleep. I know it must be next week's appt with the Gyn/Oncologist.:(

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Uggggggggggggggggggg

Hope to take a nice nap today.

Nikko:grouphug:

Oh honey. That's not fair.

I wish I could hold your hand. Ease some of your fear.

I hate doctors. I have my internist and I will freak if I have to see anyone else. And I really can't stand the anticipation of hearing bad news. It does a number on me.

I am thinking about you!! I wish you could sleep better. You need to heal. :hug:

Nikko


Apparantly, [according to a book i read, called Food for Mood] if you eat Cellery an hour or so before bed it has a natural relaxent and aids restful sleep, also a glass of water helps keeps you hydrated.

David

I think I am going to call my PCP tomorrow and see if she will call me in a script for Provogil, its for people that have ES exessive sleep, or tiredness, I need some pep.

I don't sleep through the night, then I am tired, this is just because of my mind right now on next week, and maybe the post surgery soreness.

BUT, this tiredness has been going on for quite some time now and I don't know how to deal with it. I need something to get me motivated.

I know about this because my mom had it one time and it worked well for her.

Has anyone heard about it?

I already ran it past my p-doc, and she said to call my PCP, so it won't interfere with my BP meds, because she would of told me.

Nikko:(

I am sorry that you are feeling so tired...I would be too in your shoes.
IMO....I am afraid of the provigil...I can't do stimulants...it would put me manic.
All meds have side effects so less is better in my book.

bizi

I'll post when I see what my PCP says about it.

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

p.s. Since I am BP II the depressive side, I don't think it would make me manic. Right???????????????????????:confused:

Wes is schitzo-effective and he went psycotic on one dose. Bad stuff for his chemistry.

I tried it for 2 weeks. Didn't go manic. But it made me jittery. But I drink WAY too much coffee. Probably just a bad mix.

Have you every had a big mania before? I dunno.

I would sure gril the pcp though. It would be nice to have some get up and go for once. I hope you can take it and that it doesn't do anything bad to you.

I don't think I ever had mania. I woke up 2x last night, then at 5am, then got up at 8am.

My p-doc said it is ok to take provogil, she just can't prescribe it because it isn't on the list at COPE and they won't pay for it, so to go through my PCP and my other insurance Humana. I am waiting to hear back from my PCP now.

My mom is cranky and driving me up a wall. Yesterday she washed the floor with laundry detergent, thinking it was bleach. I tried to stop her and she wouldn't.

She wants to learn the computer now, I have NO patience for her.

Maybe I will feel better next week, I see the GYN/ONCOLOGIST on the 7th.
Then again who knows, the whole appointment scares me.

My cousin in Jersey (who was here in Sept) is going in for surgery tomorrow, please say a prayer. She has 2 tumors on her overies, first there was only one and they thought it was fibroid, but now there are 2 and they don't know. She is bleeding every 2 wks.
She is having a Laproscopy exploratory, D & C, etc....I am worried, we are very close.

Thanks, Nikko:grouphug:

Stress. I hope the news next week is better. I think you are right. The anxiety of it all is keeping you from getting any real sleep. sigh.

My PCP called me in a script for the Provogil, so I am picking it up today, see how it works.

I'll let you know.

Had a blow out with Dirk last night, probably my fault, but I didn't like the things he said once the argument got started. Not talking to him now.:mad: Went over his brother's and had a few, didn't help matters, OH I'll be right back, 2 hours later.

He just doesn't get it, miss's the point altogether. Doesn't give a hoot about my arm, my cousin's surgery as I write, nor what I am facing next week, he says it's always something. Really, well that's life.

Then the worst words "Did you take your meds today??????????????????????:mad: Like it is always my fault because I am BP.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I said I take them at NIGHT.

That's only a part of it.

I am going to have a good day if it kills me. I refuse to put up with anyone's crap.

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

Took the Provogil when I picked it up around noon or so. It's a low dose the pharmacist said. 100 mg.

I guess it worked, but I really have to take it first thing in the AM.

Because I am not tired at all now, and it's 10:30 pm, but I haven't taken my BP meds yet, so that will make a difference.

Everything is fine with Dirk and I. Just an argument, words said, we talked, all worked out, hey it's normal to have a blow out or argument now and then, good actually - clears the air.

My cousin is home, all went ok, she will know more tomorrow, she has to call the surgeon, she was real groggy and out of it when I talked to her when she got home.
Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

Maybe chart your moods for a bit? That way you can look back and see if the new med is effecting you at all. It's hard to see our own imbalances sometimes.

Just a suggestion. :hug:

I am glad your cousin is ok. That must help a little with your stress. I know she is more like a sister to you.

That's good idea. I did wake up once last night, which is better, doesn't make sense though since I took the Provogil in the afternoon.:confused:

Took it at 6am this morning. Feel pretty good. :) Went to bed at 11:30. I was thinking maybe I was going to bed too early. Dirk does because he as to be up at 5am. I was always an early to bed, unless a show I wanted to see was on, or I was out.

My cousin didn't even know what was going on with the tumors on her uterus, I got it wrong before saying it was her ovaries. She also had a D & C and her tubes tied. She was really groggy and out of it.
So, I will know more today, once she call's the surgeon, and me.

I have my domestic violence session today....Yes, I still go, just not as much.
I really have to, this is something that will never leave my mind. The bad thing is I think I tend to take it out on Dirk sometimes and he wouldn't hurt a fly. I need to stop that, I don't mean to, but after being assaulted and verbally abused, by my ex husband, I still have fear, it's an awful feeling. I guess I still have PTSD in some way.

Well, Nov. 7th is the GYN specialist in ONGOLOGY, so that's on my mind, I hope when I get there and talk to her, I will be more at ease.

I've got to say, things have to get better, since a year ago July with my ex and all, mom back in hospital, my surgery, my cousin's, now this new appt.
I'm mentally at my wits end. Yet, I keep on truckin, what can you really do.

Hugs to all, Nikko:grouphug:

Dear Nikko,
Things will get better. You are doing well to keep on truckin.

Mari
ps
Where is Friday check in?

Glad that you worked things out with Dirk.
You have one heck of a year...so many stressors...I would be in a mental hospital I think with all that you put up with....if that happened to me.
Keeping my fingers crossed for the provigil...hope it works for you!
take care my friend.
(((HUGS)))
bizi:Viking:

I surprized I am not in a mental hospital, but been there, done that, besides ending up in the ER more than I can count.:confused:

I really have too much, with my pets and mom and I am happy with Dirk, my firends, so I would rather try to cope as much as I can and stay strong as I can, not just for me, but for them.

OH, don't get me wrong, I sure have my moments to say the least, but they pass.;)

I have a real hard time with the HOLIDAYS, last Xmas I ended up in the ER. back East a few times too.:o
I am hoping this year I don't get depressed and can enjoy them, will see.

p.s. One thing I could REALLY use a vacation or getaway.

Dirk has a top up camper, so we might do that on a lake soon for a night, it has everything in it, and I could take one of my dogs.:D

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug: