I broke it off with..............
 

Hi,
I broke up with Dirk. I am fine. I couldn't take his drinking, insecurites, paranoia and lies.:mad:

Took me a few months to realize all this crap, but I cannot live like this, and I don't deserve to.;)

Now just waiting until he moves OUT, should be ASAP. At least I hope so by the end of the month.

Hugs, Nikko

so sorry, but glad you saw these issues before getting too entangled or too invested emotionally.
:grouphug:

((((((Nikko)))))),

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v9...bears-mini.gif

Damn straight -- you don't deserve it. Glad you realized it.

Now you can start focusing on what you DO WANT. I can't wait to see what kind of life you are going to get when you focus on YOUR WANTS -- you are going to be kicking @$$ and loving it :cool:

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb :hug:

you have such a winning personality that you deserve the best. If only you could meet a dog lover. That is how you might meet somebody deserving of you. YOU ARE SO BRAVE....BRAVO
BIG HUGS
bobby

Wow!
I hope he moves out sooner and hope that he isn't being a jerk to you...
YOu deserve to be loved and treated well.
period!
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Nikko,

I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out but it is better now than later. Hugs to you my friend.

befuddled2

Nikko

BRAVO!! TO YOU

I have to say I'm very impressed with you. And I also think its just the
first step in lots of happier days for you.

Donna

Dear Nikko,
You are doing great to make decisions and changes based on what is good for you.
I applaud you.
M.

WOW! I need to catch up!......pardon me while I read some threads!
Sorry to hear about this Nikko. I know how much you liked him. But at least you found out about this quickly.

RELIEF - After work yesterday he moved some clothes and personal items to his brother and sister in laws, and is staying there from now on. I know why he decided this, 1. So he can drink over there 2. So he wouldn't have to pay the rest of the month's rent. All is ok with me.

I got the keys back, and told him to call when he is going to pick the rest of his things. Although I don't think that it won't be done in one shot.

He kept saying how he loved me, and please think about this, like begging me.

I stayed to my guns. I have to for my sanity. I also found out more about him from someone, that I really don't like at all.

I just hope this is a swift move of his things out of here. My anxiety level has dropped, yet I know I have to deal with him again when he comes to get more things. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

Nikko

Hmmm, I would say just pack the stuff up and have it ready. Or call
the others and have them come get it for him. That way you don't
have to deal with him.

I think you are doing a great job handling this.

Donna

Yesterday he called drunk, and said he wasn't coming by because he had car trouble.

Then he said he come over on HIS time, because I am on welfare (I am on disability) and he doesn't sit on his *** all day.
Then he said go take your meds.:(

Then he said he still had a key and will come in even if I am not here. Then he said no he didn't have a key, it was under one of the rocks outside my front door. He said he would leave it under the mat in the morning, well there is no key there.:mad:

My mom spoke to him he was cruel and vulgar. Then he called, I didn't answer he said he got bit by a dog and put ice on it, but didn't know what to do, and knew I knew a lot about animals and to call him to tell him what to do. DUH go to the ER

I am really upset. I am going to call the management of these homes and see if they will change the locks.

I am really upset about this. He said there is nothing I can do, I said you are not on this lease.

I can't even talk anymore. I don't need this.

Nikko:grouphug:

I know from his ex-wife that he is all talk. She said he is a drunk, liar, cheater, and insecure, he isn't violent, it's all talk.



Nikko

Maybe your land lord will change the locks for you...if nothing else I would have them changed.
he could jsut as easily make a copy if he does give one back.
I don't trust him on this.:mad:
bizi

I called maintenance for the rental homes, waiting for a call back to change the locks.

He is two different people, one person when he is drunk, which is mean, says cruel things, verbally abusive.:confused:

Then when sober, he is as nice and wants me back and all that crap.

I just hope he gets the rest of his things out of here on Sat. he called and is coming here after work for some things, at least then he will be sober.

Nikko:mad:

{{{{{Nikko}}}}}

befuddled2

Good time to switch
 

your locks and your mood!
I have been in your shoes, and i'm also a lawyer.
one of the good things about bipolar is that we can switch moods real fast! now is one of those times... switch mood to MEAN :D and change those locks ASAP.
If the management won't do it within the same day (meaning within the same daylight hours), you have the legal right to call a locksmith, get it done yourself, and get reimbursed. you might have to call the police to get this done. but please please don't take a risk on your safety. and never underestimate what an angry drunk violent ex will do... might be best if you slept elsewhere till your locks are changed.
be safe girlfriend. :hug:

Nikko


Just hi and a :hug:


Stay strong , stick by your descision, ignore the venom,

RISE ABOVE IT.


David

Thanks all......I got the key back yesterday when he stopped by for a few things, he even knocked on the door.

He said he is moving into these apartments right around the corner. :eek:

He said he is going to get a truck and boxes and move everything out tomorrow (Sat). I hope he is true to his word. He doesn't have anything big here, except a bed in the spare room. His brother has a huge truck, don't know why he just doesn't use that.

I will find out what time, I said 10am, he said he will try to get the truck and all by then. I said again call first.

The maintenance people have not called me back yet. I have to call again, usually they are pretty good.

I have my Domestic Violence session today, I am glad I never stopped going. It reinforces everything I have learned from them.

I am hanging tough....because he started oh I love you, and will you think about getting back together, I said no and please go now. He only picked up pictures of his daughter yesterday, he could of loaded up his car, but he said he was tired.

He better not prolong this.

Hugs, Nanc

Well, he will be here in a half and hour. He said it will take him all day. He is using his brother's truck which is huge with a long open back end.

I really don't see how, I could see if I was moving the entire house, it would take all day. But he doesn't have anything huge here, except a bed.

The other stuff is clothes, kitchen things, some things on the walls.

Wish me luck, going to be another Saturday from hell, I feel.:confused:

Nikko:eek:

Stay strong...and know that it will be over today.....
bizi:grouphug:

I would still get the locks changed - keys can be copied easily - he had plenty of time to do that.
better to be safe, esp since he says he is gong to be close:(

YIPPEE - He is all moved out!!!:D

Well that's over. Yet he already left a message on my machine - drunk.

I just don't pick up when I see his number.

It' so nice and quiet and peaceful.:) Time to take the dogs for a nice walk.;)

Nikko:grouphug:

Nikko

Change those locks yourself. Sounds like the maintenance department is
busy.

Sending you some hugs.

Donna

Good news.
http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/happy/fluffy.gif

Mari

Wow Nikko, I had no idea he was becoming so abusive verbally, good thing you caught on NOW and asked him to leave. Wishing you nothing but the best. :)

thank goodness
 

thank goodness he is OUT!

how are your pets by the way?

:hug:

~ waves ~

:)My two dogs are good, they are so funny, they are my passion, my best friends, nothing like unconditional love.:D

My cockatiels are good too. They love each other. They let me know when it's time to uncover their cage in the AM they want to eat.

Then when the sun go's down, they let me know, it's time for them to be covered to sleep.:p

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

Please reread this thread nikko, I worry about you being with Dirk.....
History can repeat itself....Have you talked to your counselor about this?
I really hate how he has hurt you...like I said I am just worried...
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I admit I was concerned too.

I hope he is staying at his own place and taking you on dates.
To show/prove that he has changed his ways, you both need to know each other longer.

I hope that this doesn't make you upset with me for bringing this up....
I am only thinking about you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

nooooooooooooooooooooo
 

i am with bizi.

same track, more hardline.

you said many things about him which, IMHO, i don't see changing. that is part of the game... they say they will change... they even seem to... for a while. i want you to go back and read your old posts. i hope he isn't playing a guilt/loyalty card on you. but regardless.

if i maybe downright harsh, call it tough love? for your safety and general wellbeing in every sense of the word... my take is: get out. get out, away and don't look back.

you can't control him living nearby, but you can can question your willingness to see him, and please do. you can control how close you get.

please please talk to your DV counselor.

love and much much worry.

~ waves ~ :hug:

I know I said a lot of things, and I meant them too.

As I said we talked until 4am in the morning, and got everything out in the open.

He knows - all the cards are on the table now, so this is his 2nd chance, if it doesn't work out, it will be over for good.

I appreciate everyone's concern, and I know exactly what you all mean.

I see my DV counsler soon.

Love y-all........................Nikko:grouphug:

:hug: just take care of you nikko. keep yourself the top priority.

we love you and care.

I am doing that......I have to be first, cannot take anymore from anyone.

My ex-husband did too much of a real bad thing to me, that I will never ever forget.


Nikko:grouphug:

I know y-all probably think I am making another mistake, and maybe I am.

I just want y-all to try to understand what I am doing is just something I have to do.

Please don't think any less of me. I am in DV counseling still and that keeps me in check, and I see red flags right away.

I don't want to lose any of you as my friends.

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

these are things that will not change over night...you are right you deserve to live better...and that is why the red flags all came up.
You will never lose our support.
We care about and only want what is best...but ultimately it is your life and you get to live it.
WE all have our doubts and areas in our lives that need attention...
I certainly have my issues.
thinking of you today.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Nikko

Follow your heart, but please listen, to your mind.

Sincerley goog luck, but be opened minded.

David:hug:

We all just think the world of you, want the best for you.

And were going to stand behind you no matter what. But you
will probably be reminded many times to be very very careful.

Thats just what friends are for.

Donna

no judge, no jury, just caring honesty
 

Nutshell bizi. lovely.

Nikko, we just want what's best for you, and are outside of a situation you are inside of. our perspectives are limited, and we are not you, nor in your shoes. Goodness knows i have made some huuuuuuge mistakes. it happens.

what we think - or fear, really - is that you will be hurt again. i for one don't want to be a "yes-man" to you, just for politeness.

we are here for you period. not to judge you. to suggest and remind and comfort. we will rejoice with you or cry with you, as things go... but we will not judge or reject you or think less of you.

also try not to judge yourself. You are doing the best you can. You are keeping up the counseling. You are opening your eyes and that is more than a task, it is a process, and it is hard work. I admire you for keeping up with this. This is one way in which you are already taking care of yourself.

another precious nugget:
a tender hug and best wishes

~ waves ~