Devastated
 

I don't know how I go here, just surfing the web. I read of several suicides and needed to talk. I am a recent widow of an acute alcoholic. Although all his family want to believe his death an accident, after 17 years marraige I knew him better than anyone and believe it to be intentional. I am left with two little girls, one of who will never remember her daddy and the other who will never forget. I am desperately trying to start a new life and even though I am on anti-depressants, I am an emotional wreck. Is there anyone out there who feels the need to talk and can listen to my pain?

Dear nohope

I am so glad you found our community, tho so sorry to hear the reason you are here

we have a couple of forums here that I know you will be welcomed in and supported during this very hard time
especially our survivors of suicide forum, where i know you will be enveloped in care and understanding

I copied your post over to that board

here is the link so you can check for replies
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...ad.php?t=36788

my deepest condolences and I pray there will be hope that dawns out of this darkness for you and your little ones
:grouphug:
Cheri

Hang in there
 

Hang in there. You will find strength inside of you.

Knee mail sent up for you.

just bumping this up for you nohope, so that you can also check the SOS forum.

(((((((((nohope)))))))))

hope you see this:hug:

Nohope, I am sorry you are going through all of this. I know that this is a difficult time for you but hang in there and give it some time.

Saying prayers for you and your little ones.

Hi Nohope, I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. It's so hard to lose someone - time will help but right now I know that's probably not much comfort to you. I'm saying prayers for you now - and hoping that you feel some comfort and peace in your life. :hug:

Hi nohope and Welcome to NT. I see Chemar has steered you in the right direction. I'm hoping that after your'e here awhile, that maybe we'll have to change your name to just HOPE.

This is a great place for people just like you, to ask for help and understanding... take care and glad you found us...:welcome_sign:

Thank you for your well wishes. Hope is all I need, but has never been so hard to find.

I am so sorry :hug: I hope that you and your girls are able to find peace. I can not even begin to imagine what you have been through. Hang in there, Mama.

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))
to you and your girls hunny.........
I lost a bro in the same situation your describing.
He left two daughters too...although a little older. the oldes was about to give birth to her first born. My bros first grandchild........and she was adorable........he would have so loved her.

How long ago did this happen hun? Is there family or friends around you to help you deal with this? Can you go to a church or a hospital for a support group? There are so many folks out there who will help ya.......

PLUS You always got us here..........

Feel free to email or pm me anytime you need an ear (eye) to know what your going through.....ANYTIME..........

hugs and hearts,
Kay

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. My 1st husband (DH) commited suicide when I was 23, 8 and a half years ago. I didn't have children but I still remember the pain and confusion it caused me.

I can't imagine how hard it is for you to go through this with smal children, I am so sorry for them also.

If you would like to talk send me a private message and I would be happy to connect with you.

Please remember that you did not have any control over this situation but you can choose where to go from here. I won't lie and say oh its easy just get over it, that wouldn't be doing you any favors.

I still think about him and there are days I play back the months leading up to it and wonder if I should have done something different, but I know deep down inside evebtually he would have done it.

I can also tell you that it will get easier as time goes by. If your daughter is having a really hard time dealing with it consider counseling for her and for you if you need it.

I wish you the best of everything from here on out.And please PM me if you want to talk more ok.

[QUOTE=FlyFishin Momma;192532](((((((((((((hugs)))))))))
to you and your girls hunny.........
I lost a bro in the same situation your describing.
He left two daughters too...although a little older. the oldes was about to give birth to her first born. My bros first grandchild........and she was adorable........he would have so loved her.

How long ago did this happen hun? Is there family or friends around you to help you deal with this? Can you go to a church or a hospital for a support group? There are so many folks out there who will help ya.......

PLUS You always got us here..........

Feel free to email or pm me anytime you need an ear (eye) to know what your going through.....ANYTIME.......... Thank you so much for your reply! Not having any family in town and little friends left who can be good listeners is what drew me to this sight last night. I find myself further from the church than ever considering what I've been through over the years. I also have no insurance so I won't be able to continue on the anti-depressants for much longer and can't seek out counseling. My husband died Oct 6th, 2 weeks after his sister also died of alcohol abuse! His oldest brother also commited suicide in Oct of 1989. His parents are both deceased, his father from emphezema and his mother of diabetes. There are only 2 siblings left from his family, one a prescriptive drug addict and the other addicted to pot. Everyone in his family had an addictive personality.

The red flags were everywhere throughout my marraige, but I continued to plug away hoping he would come around. Finally the drink was the only thing sustaining him and he lost his 6 figure a year job. As things continued to spiral out of control, I took my little girls and fled the home for their safety. It didn't take long for our half-million dollar home to foreclose and for us to lose everything! From there he hit me with divorce papers and I fought him for full custody knowing he was dependant upon his drink. I proved it in court when he was in full withdrawls on the witness stand and the judge ordered him into rehab. As soon as he got out, he was right back at it and I was able to get supervised visitation ordered for him to be able to see his girls. He died 2 days before the judgement of divorce was to be signed leaving me in hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt and forcing me to close my business I had started in 2006.

I am really glad you responded and know your pain with your brother first hand. I don't understand any of this or how it could possibly happen. This was my best friend and we were inseperable for almost 18 1/2 years. Married for 17 of those years. We have 2 beautiful healthy little girls. My oldest 11 who will never forget her father as she came along before his illness. My littlest will eventually forget him as she came after he was in the beginning of what was to be the end. She is 4. Thank you again for your kind words.

I am so happy for your reply and so sorry for your loss, too. A friend recently said to me "if you've given everything you can, there is nothing left to give." No matter what I could have done, nothing would have stopped this tradgedy. I have no guilt as I literally gave "my everything", but I am so lost now that the family is severed. It doesn't matter whether there is children or not, the pain is intense as we loved our men.

I am so grateful I stumbled onto this site last night. I have received a lot of responses and everyone has such kind and helpful words to say. Thank you so much for yours!

I have lost a couple of family members to suicide. The hardest part of all the pain is not knowing what we could have done to stop it. Where did we miss the signs?

But, the truth is it would have happened anyway. My prays are with you.

(((((Nohope))))):hug: I am so sorry to hear of your loss! Prayers are being said for you and your children.

I am sure you will find wonderful support here as there are alot of caring people.

If you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me or email me. I am a good listener

Take care

:hug:Hi,
Welcome to Neurotalk. I am so sorry about what you are going through:grouphug:
If we can do anything just ask
Thanks:)