OMG, is this not crazy?
 

My mom and I don't talk much (haven't much in the last 13 years), she's not happy with who I am married to and I have to many kids, and so now. So we don't talk much, anyway I get an email from her wanting to know if I am OK now from my LP now and if the blood patch helped. I email her back and told her I didn't get the blood patch just the caffeine IV and it helped. So she emails back Oh you should have gotten the blood patch, it helped her SO much when she had her LP. :eek: What LP???

I called her and asked her when she had an LP and why. It was a long time ago (she never said how long) and get this, The Dr tries to tell her she had MS :eek:

She goes on to tell me that she didn't have any SX of MS so she know it wasn't right. She goes on to tell me that she is so sure I don't have MS and that I'm worring about this all too much. :rolleyes: How in the world does she know what I even worry about when she doesn't even know what goes on in my life.

I asked her why she had the LP done and she said because for PCP asked her to, I asked why and she said SHE DIDN'T KNOW :rolleyes: I asked her what SX she had and all she would tell me is none that were from MS. I asked her if she was still seeing the same Dr about her SX and she said no because this was before she moved (I don't know what time she means, she had moved 3 times since I left home). I told her if a Dr told her she has or even might have MS she needs to see a Dr about it. I just got an ear full of on how she doesn't have MS. :confused:

BTW, I live in TX and she lives in FL so I can't just go over to her house and make her go to the Dr. Not that I am worried about her seeing a Dr., she's 59 and is able to drive her self to the Dr and tell him whats going on. I just can't believe she didn't tell me this back when it happened.

wow!

sounds like itsa good thing you're in tx :(

i wouldn't worry about your mother... she's a big gurl ;)

:hug:big hugs to you, tho... for the loss in your heart :o

Thank you, I'm not going to worry about her. But for her to know I think I might have MS and her to know that she was told she has it and not tell me, well that just flat out makes me mad. I know that they say MS is hereditary but than you read over and over agin how more than one family member has MS.

i'm sure if you think about it, her actions aren't a suprise.

i mean... doesn't a bear always act like a bear?

she gave you birth, but you give you life ;)

Yeah, it doesn't surprise me at all. :rolleyes: I guess I feel like she didn't tell me because she didn't want to help me get DX with something she doesn't want me to have. http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k2...y/dontknow.gif

the best medicine in a case like this is a great big :hug:

I can relate. My Mom (and Dad for that matter) wouldn't tell me things unless I asked, and even then I wasn't sure to get an answer. But we haven't spoken in about 10 years. They don't know about my MS.

As for keeping information to themselves; when I was 16 I was hospitalized for a week for a series of tests for a limp I developed. about 5 years later I read an article about a woman with MS and the tests she went through. They were the same tests I had done! Assuming a clean bill of health, I never thought too much more about it.

Flash forward 30 years. New SX, new tests, new Dx, MS. I write for my records from way back when and discover a diagnosis of RSD! No one ever told me about it.

The things parents do in the name of protecting you. (I'm sure my mom didn't want me to worry about it, which, as it turned out I didn't have to. I'm one of the lucky few whose RSD goes into remission and stays there.)

WOW, I can't imagine being DX with something (not knowing it) and my mom not telling me. So glad the RSD hasn't been giving you problems.

my parents were both VERY close-mouthed about medical histories and personal histories.

it wasn't until I was having my first baby that I learned (from my mom) that:

1. my maternal grandmother was actually a STEP-grandmother, that my biological grandmother had died in childbirth... and two of her sisters had MS.

2. my paternal grandfather was ALSO not related to me biologically, he married my Nana AFTER she had two children by a previous husband.

3. bipolar disorder and MS run in my family, and that over a DOZEN of my uncles, great-uncles, and aunts had been institutionalized, or committed suicide.

skeletons, skeletons...

My mother had Polio growing up and was VERY closed mouthed about all she went through, and always felt like a burden on the family. We have spent many distant years apart, for many reasons. We now have some contact after years apart. There is NO WAY I could/should drag her to an MD.

Please know that your mom does NOT want to open that can of worms. She was probably in her own way trying to reach out to YOU! and did not mean to open the door to you interrogating her about whether she does or doesnt have MS.

There are many that may have it, but are quite happy with the answers they have been given and have come to terms with how to live around what ever symptoms they have. Unless your mom is not ambulatory, or is in great pain, or in such a cog fog that she is not making any sense, the best you can do is let her know you are there for her IF she ever decides to investigate it further. As for now, it sounds like she has given you her answer.

you have quite a full plate with all that is going on in your life. you have children to care for, and you yourself dont feel good. your husband is just now starting to see that you are experiencing something beyond anxiety. I know you are fighting hard to get some answers and trying to make sense of what is happening to you.

I walk that same fragile thin line with my own mom, and I know how quickly it can be blown away. Just as you would not want her standing over you to tell you how, when, and why do get things done, its not fair to do it to her.

I am glad you two are talking again. grandmoms can be awesome!

Just makes me wonder if the doc's would take you more seriously if they had known about your mom's MS.

I don't know a lot about my family history.

I do know I had an Aunt with severe spasticity. I have no clue why.
I also have a second cousin with SPMS.

DAY

LOL, this is the 1st thing I thought, 2nd was concern for my mom, LOL.
No really like I said I know they say the MS isn't hereditary but than you read over and over agin how more than one family member has MS.

Isn't passed every time doesn't mean that there aren't correlations. I don't think they've isolated how it's passed, but I was pretty sure they know it is passed. It's not that most people do pass it on. We just have higher risks.

Heck, I'd worry more about passing on my families heart & cancer problems than my MS, and so far I've had neither cancer nor heart problems. We all pass some of the good and some of the bad. It's a crap shoot on what's sent.

Hi Momx7,

I would also be pretty shocked to learn this info! I have to believe that your mom emailed you to find out how your LP went because she truly does worry about you. The fact that, in the past, she was also tested for MS must weigh heavily in her mind. Since "if you don't think about it, it's not there" has worked for her, it sound like she may be suggesting you do the same.

Of course, whether or not she has MS would be helpful for you (and your Dr) to know. However, it sounds like she's content where she is. That doesn't mean that this is the path for you. Maybe you could explain to her that, just as she might prefer to not know exactly what is going on, you, on the other hand, have a need to know if you do indeed have a medical condition.

I, too, have a very strained relationship with my mother. I feel that a lot of what I believed about my own childhood was distorted by her. She never directly asks me about my ongoing testing, but questions my sisters about whether or not they know "what's wrong with me yet." Although, my mom has a lot of difficulty telling me this, I know she does care about me. Sometimes, people can have so much trouble telling their loved ones how much they love them. (me included)

Mom, I haven't read anyone else's response yet....my mouth flew open though when I read this.

Look, this is more about YOU.....she doesn't WANT to know she has anything wrong with her, so let her be. But YOU need to tell YOUR doc about this....This sounds more in your favor for filling in the puzzle pieces.

Maybe she will tell you her sx that brought her to the doctor at the time the "crazy doc" suggested she have MS in an email. I would ask using the words she used to describe the doctor and the time she was there....she just might give you some very valuable information.

Don't worry about "fixing" her...that's up to her!

Good Luck!

Mom, I think you're partly right, that your mom doesn't want to know she has ms. so she certainly does not want you to have it.

She can't control what is by wishing it away and putting her head in the sand though.

And you can't change her.

:rolleyes:

Part of it though is people of older generations were SO like that about not going to doctors and having the attitude "I'm not sick!"

Think about it, we (our generation) get it pounded in our heads that there's something wrong with us. Drug commercials all the time on tv, ads in every magazine. Yikes!

And the older people are looking at us as if we fall for all that stuff - you know they do. Just because there's more info and more meds for diseases does not mean we're a bunch of hypochondriacs, but the old folks like the docs seem to think we are sometimes.

I never heard anyone talk about my older relatives' illnesses until I got sick and asked. They just didn't bring that up. They didn't know medical words like we do, and it seemed like they though it was shameful to be ill.

Being the youngest, my older sibfreaked when this happened to me. Some would not even let anyone talk about it. I had to corner one of them and say this,

"I'm not looking for attenion or sympathy. But you should know that if I have ms, you wanna keep that in mind because you have kids. It can run in families. So if by some horrible long shot, something comes up with your girls, you can tell their doctor their aunt has an auto immune disorder. That could save them a lot of horsing around getting a diagnosis."

Similarly I got info about the relatives by saying I'd figure out what was wrong with me faster if I had a complete family hx - not because I wanted to be nosy, but because I wanted the right dx.

Thank you everyone for you replies. Just wanted you all to know, I'm not spending my time worrying about my mom. She able to take care of her self. I do feel better about pushing for an answer on why I have all these SX now. I don't feel at all that they are from stress or anxiety. Anyone that knows me knows I'm not one to worry about much and knows when I'm stressed. Everyone around me can read me like a book. The only thing I do worry about a lot is my memory is SO bad, I don't worry about it too long tho because I forget what I was doing. :D

Sounds like your Mom is in mega denial over her situation. Not unlike my Mom who doesn't go to the doctors unless profusely bleeding or unconscious.

She is an adult and will do as she wants regardless of your opinion or attempted intervention. I just think it would have been nice if she had informed you of this situation earlier on in your diagnosis journey. There are familiar linkages to MS.

In the meantime, just concentrate on your own health and what works for you. Your Mom shouldn't be a positive or negative influence on your life. You too are now an adult and can choose what is best for you and your family.

I wish the best for you.