Defending the Handicapped - Me
 

Sometimes it comes down to speaking up.

I have mobility issues. I walk slow, I limp a little, I can stand but not for long periods of time.

I go to the bank on Fridays. There is handicapped parking in front of the building.

I park, get out of the car and walk slowly to the entrance. There is a man in his 50's also walking across the parking lot to go inside.

As I open the door, I stand in the doorway and hold the door for him.

I am INSIDE the bank holding the door. He grabs the door so I let go and continue to walk to the waiting rope.

No one is in line but there are two tellers and both have a person doing business. That means I would be next.

He walks quickly AROUND me and gets in line first!!!

I am doing a slow burn inside. At first, I think I will just let it go but it was too rude. He saw I parked in the handicapped, I walk SLOW so he should know I am not faking. Even without the handicap, it was inexcusable.

But becoming angry is wrong.

Speaking up is good for the soul.

He is making sure he looks everywhere but at me.

So in a nice conversational voice I said, "You must be in a very big hurry."

He immediately backed away and said "You can go in front of me."

"You must be in a very big hurry," I responded.

He made no apology. In fact, he rationalized his action by saying, "Well, the person with the longer stride gets to the line first."

!!!

He moves behind me, giving about 4-5 feet distance from me. I just continued to look at him, make him feel uncomfortable.

He tells me that he is really a good person. I just look at him. He may be a good person but he was not a good person at that moment. I had no inclination to let him off the hook. He made no apology for his action so there could be no forgiveness anyway.

When I get to the teller, another one next to me opens up as well. I let mine know what he did, loud enough for him to hear.

I was pleasant but I spoke up.

My hope is that he will think twice before walking around anyone ever again. Probably not but for today, maybe.

:Bow::Bow::Bow: Stand your ground Kudos Kudos Kudos

good for you that is something I do not get before my issues with MS and using HC spots or a cane I was always polite and helpful and not rude yet now its like a green light to be ran over around here,

two days ago I was going into store to get my meds and was walking with cane and this Lady ? who could clearly see me struggle with my cane walking, as i am flaring right now, and my right side is useless, and literally pushes me aside to get a cart

needless to say i was a bit ticked off, so when she turned around with her cart I blocked her with my cane and told her ever do that again and I dont care male or female i will knock u on your @ss

( yes I was raised better sorry but she deserved to be plopped down on her kiester) rude arrogant so and so ,it boils me, god help my kids if they ever get caught acting like this i will tanned their hides from here till i cant tan em no more

I too have spoken up in lines, the other day some guy parked in HC spot but he park diagonal so he took up two of them, while in the checkout I proceeding to talk about kittys thread about HC parking out loud ,about taking pictures of license plates and sending them to local police stations of violators and deb got right into it and asked who would park like that , maybe we should go get a pic at which point i said out loud and in line oh I know who parked there, these two guys , the ones in front of me in line,in a big hurry to buy a pepsi they couldnt get out of there fast enough,

I speak out a lot its, rude ignorant and very shallow to think and behave in those fashion, nothing and I repeat nothing is that important to knock someone over to do, or to disrespect someone in the process

see I was doing my best to let this go but am glad you said something cause i feel so much better now:Dancing-Chilli:


I agree speak out, make them think twice about it, its a shame we even have to say something , me have trouble saying something har har har

You warm the cockles of my heart. (not that I know what those are) You rock!!!!!!!

Before my MS trouble I spoke out, some confuse kindness or a handicap as weakness. I may walk slow but I am here cognitively. I still speak out, but not as much and I should. It's them, not you!!!! (or me or anyone else)

Good job, Cyn. My big issue is with the elderly who always seem to assume that since I'm not old enough, I must not be handicapped. When they keep giving me the look, I sometimes blurt out, "Hey, at least you got a chance to get old first!"

I admit, I have a bad attitude about it sometimes, but people can just be so inconsiderate like your bank buddy.

When I taught and went out with different handicapped kids, I always spoke firmly to those (adults) who gawked at my kids that obviously had a problem.

I should speak for me as much.

Good job - you and everyone else who posted here about speaking up. If we don't then who will?

I am SO tired of people who think that they are better than others. :mad:

Last time someone pushed me in order to get by I asked them (real loud) if they were born in a barn - 'cause they sure acted like it!! I got a dirty look but that's OK - I made my point. My Mom used to use that phrase all the time when we'd do something uncivilized - "were you born in a barn?" :p

I've become pretty thick skinned since being dx. I'll speak up now whereas before I wouldn't. I really don't care what the offending people think of me - they obviously don't care what people think of THEM.......

I must admit I have always been the type to speak up when I saw people acting badly, long before MS.

And I am far from perfect because I must also admit that I was momentarily envious of the handicapped parking when it first appeared, especially at the mall at Christmas. I quickly realized its importance.

I wonder if it leaves an impression when we speak up. I know I feel better.

I know my daughter had gotten in between a bully and his victim when she was in the middle school cafeteria, verbally chased the mean girl at camp into a cabin when she brought the obese girl's underwear out in order for others to have a laugh.

She has seen me go after people and maybe, if we cannot change the inconsiderate oaf, we can learn to defend ourselves...if only for the benefit of lowering our own blood pressure!:)

I think you're right. We may not change the oaf (know it's not my job anyway), but we show our children to stand up for themselves and those weaker. My kids have never been bullied (as far as I know!) and aren't bullies themselves. At 16 they include "different" kids in their lives They look at us and do model behaviors they observe. They are not mean, but never play a victim's role either. they're good kids.

Clapping hands loud and proud!!!!

I can practically guarantee that this man WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN!!!

You made him accountable. Good for you.

I also have helped blind people get to their destinations and whenever I see an elderly winded person stop in the middle of the street and they look like they are winded or something, I usually approach and say "are you okay?"

Most often, I get a smile and they say "yeah, just taking my time".

But once, (and this actually happened and Alan could not believe it), we were walking down the block (quite a few blocks from our home so I didn't know the gentleman I was trying to help).

The guy had two cane type of walkers. He really was having a problem and he was approaching the doorway to his home. Now I see that he has two walkers, so how is this guy going to open his front doors. There were two doors.

And because Alan walks slowly (he had the boot at the time), I just strode up to the front door of this apartment building, I held open the door and they guy started hitting me with the right cane walker thing.

Never in all my life did I expect this. He also cursed at me.

I just said "sorry", and walked away.

Alan wanted to belt him.

Probably the guy was having a bad day but really!!!!!

Oh, this morning I'm in Dunkin and I see this little thing walkinging across my path and she's holding on to her pushcart and I recognize her as my 99 year old neighbor. I said "Lily, what on earth are you doing here?" and she smiled brightly and said "hi, I need quarters, and I know I have to get in line".

So I said "no, you don't, I have quarters". So as I'm giving her change I asked "why do you need quarters?" and she goes "BECAUSE I'M TAKING THE BUS".


TAKING THE BUS???? SHE'S 99 YEARS OLD, WHERE IS SHE GOING ON A BUS???

Not knowing what to say or do (her daughter is 80 by the way and lives in Florida). I just said "well be careful and make sure they let you use the lift".

I don't think the bus allows you to use the lift unless you are using a wheelchair and she was not. She just walks (a bit crookedly) and she uses the pushcart to stablize herself.

BUT SHE'S GOING ON A BUS??? At 99 years old??

Holy Cow!!!!

I think we should get some magnets made and put one on the offending parkers car! Maybe it should say something like "Because I'm a thoughtless moron I decided to illegally park in a handicapped space today" or something to that effect.

It would almost be worth the expense of getting them made just to see someone driving around unknowingly with one on their car!!!:D

Yeah, some people are sure thoughtless.

Thursday I was parked in the H/C parking space and slowly getting my crutches and purse together. The building I was going into was locked, so when I saw a young lady knocking I called to her and asked her to keep the door open for me. She said she would.

I wasn't much behind her, but the door was locked, so I got to stand outside and wait for someone to open it.

When I saw her inside the building a little later, I said, "I thought you were going to hold the door open for me?" She said she "forgot." C'mon, I was like 15 seconds behind her. Sheesh!!! And I thought I had a bad memory!!! Lol!

[QUOTE=kicker;256826]You warm the cockles of my heart. (not that I know what those are) You rock!!!!!!!
QUOTE]

Teehee: I read this as, "You warm the cookies of my heart." Yum!

I've had the same notion, Kell, but in my mind's eye, it's a polymer-epoxy bumper sticker applied to the paint.:eek:

I like your idea better!!

If I may take a moment, to apologize about my comment about the lady in my comment in this thread, (yes its been bugging me for a few days i shouldn't of said it)it was wrong of me and yes i was raised never, to be that way. I did not mean to show disrespect to the other gender, it was just something that really got me riled and yes i let someone else get the better of me which is something else my pa taught me not to do either, never drop to their level. I just wanted to let you know I would not of knocked her down I was just spitting words, now Debbie on the other hand, may of helped her find her seat, so to say.

In closing it is apparent that the rules for handicap apply only if u look it and, are older looking, I am 46 fair shape and get some mean looks if i use the hc spot, and I only do if i have to, but i guess all types of peoples ideas and beliefs are still being prejudged by everyday society.

kitty market, those cheap easy to apply and reusable sell them in stacks of 50 for 19.95 i would love to have some of those and use them, do you know how many people get in there cars and dont look for things like that, put it on his passagner side door, that way everyone can read it and even his neighbors as he parks it in his driveway, love that idea

We know you'd never hit a woman, Frank.....besides, most of us women here could probably take you down in a second :p so don't mess with us!! :D

I would have felt the same way - some people just need a good reality knock upside the head sometimes. It's frustrating but we can't let them get the best of us.

[quote=Twinkletoes;257285]Cockles? I got Cockles? And they come with Cookies? :D

Frank, don't feel bad! We've all been there over one thing or another..Like my mom says "..enough to make a preacher swear"..

Kitty, I think the magnet idea is great! I'll have to look into getting a few made..I don't think it's illegal to tag someone for stupidity..?

Kitty-Put me down for magnets, I have epoxy.

[QUOTE=PolarExpress;257550][quote=Twinkletoes;257285]

Cockles? I got Cockles? And they come with Cookies? :D
]



No cookies. But in Dublin's Fair city, where girls are so pretty, Molly Malone walks the streets crying, "Cockles and mussels alive, alive OH."

Think those cockles you can eat. Cockles of the heart, no.

(Molly Malone is a song - do you know it?)

[quote=kicker;257579][quote=PolarExpress;257550]I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that..:o

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Be very careful when you place something on another person's car.People have bad tempers and if the offending person sees you going to their car, you never know, they may have a can of mace on them, or they just be in a bad mood and go off on you.

I've seen this so many times, I can't tell you.

One time (over 30 years ago), when my husband was a licensed private investigator, well, he carried a gun.

He was parking his car and some nut came along in another car and started screaming at my husband for parking where he was parked. Alan didn't do anything wrong, but the other guy had entitlement issues and started to get out of his car and said "hey, I usually park here, get your car and move it. (now the guy was not waiting for this spot or anything like that, So Alan didn't take the guys parking spot), This guy just felt that because he parks there on a regular basis, that no one has the right to use this space EXCEPT HIM. ??????????????

So my husband, my quiet, non-combative husband, who had just pulled into the parking space, and was standing by the car, is looking at this guy who is in his face. The guy was screaming at Alan to 'GET THE F INTO HIS CAR AND MOVE IT'.

What did Alan do?? He just opened the coat (Alan used to wear the gun in a shoulder holster like the cops do). Well, you should have seen the guy's face when Alan just moved to open his coat.

The guy turned white, said "oh I'm sorry", got into his car and parked someplace else.

But honestly, if Alan was not armed and had a more agressive personality, I do believe that nut would have hit him or something.

People in cars, (well today anyway), well they have their issues.

So I would be really careful before you place a magnet, or anything on another person's car.

I guess if you could make sure that no one was around to see you do it.

(THEN I WOULD WRITE THE WORD MORON ON A PIECE OF PAPER and scotch tape it to the windshield.

I can only imagine if the driver saw me do this.

There are nuts out there, that's for sure.

BE CAREFUL!!!!


Melody

Uh, Mel, I think we're mostly kidding around here. With all the surveillance equipment out there, it would be nearly impossible to do something like that without getting caught.

There are post-it notes and wiper cards that can be purchased but they're very diplomatically written.:rolleyes:

There is a cool website that began as a service to the bay area in CA and it's taking off quite well. I'm involved in trying to get one through our state police here.

Check it out:http://www.handicappedfraud.org/

Of course, there are times when only a baseball bat can resolve a conflict.

http://www.mchenrycountyblog.com/upl...0-7-757207.jpg

I love that idea Cin! Kodak better get my camera back fast! lol

Now that is a great idea!!!!

Taking photos of cars that are illegally parked.

I remember way back when Alan used to drive, we had the hanging handicapped thing that you hang on the mirror.

Well, to look at Alan and me, way back then, we didn't look like there was anthing wrong with us. I guess you have to LOOK disabled for people to THINK it.

So we got out of the car at our local Costco. Do you know that people came up to us and yelled "how dare you have a disability hanging thing, you don't look disabled".

We each pulled out our medicare cards.

Now how stupid were these people???

Oh brother.

Yeah, that used to happen to Jim all the time. Now it happens to me. I usually get out first and then Jim rolls out. The mean looks are amazing and I just smile and stick my chest out knowing what they are about to witness will make them feel like a big turd. lol

Want to know what I would do (I mean, if we still had that car and Alan still drove).

I would make a sign (I probably would take a fan (the kind that the Japanese use). I would transform that fan by putting a piece of white paper over it.

I would then write (IN BIG BLACK BOLD LETTERS) on the fan.

DON'T GIVE ME THOSE LOOKS!! I AM DISABLED!!!!

And when I got out of the car, I would hold the fan by the handle, if anyone approached me I would whip open the fan (like an accordian), put it in THAT person's face so they got a good look at it.

Then I would close it, collapse it, put it in my purse and go about my business.

Then when I exited the store, the fan would be in my hand and as I approached my car, if someone again has the audacity to approach me, I'd whip over the fan again.

I'd be surprised if i didn't hit someone over the head with it too!!!! lol

I'd really do this. You don't know me. I'm very inventive.

Sadly, no one doubts my need for handicapped parking.:(

The retirement community in my area is huge, particularly in the winter so most of the parking spaces are taken for the winter months.

I used to want to have a post-it note that I could stick on the window for perceived violations but with heart conditions, MS fatigue, all sorts of "but you look so good" people, I just try to give the benefit of the doubt to others. Besides, if there was road rage, I can be caught too easily!

My friend is visually handicapped, even has the cane with the red tip. I guess a woman in an SUV could not wait for him to cross the parking space she wanted and pulled in front of him as he walked. He took the cane and began to beat the side panel!

I like public humiliation...:D Safety in a public place!

good for him I have come close , ask deb, to smacking a car ,that just wanted to push it and not wait and came too close. Its just awful that people can be such arrogant self centered shallow me me me to the point that they dont even see it, or do they see it and just dont get a dam, i try to go by what my mom and grams said what goes around comes around and in the oreder of ying and yang I often hope its true