Does anyone else nearly freak out each time they pick up their meds?
 

Greetings,

Each time I get my meds from the pharmacy, I cross my fingers, say a prayer to the godess, say another prayer, pretend that I am not one total freak out away from being locked up .. . .

9 times out of 10 everything runs smoothly. But if one little thing is different from the procedure, -- like if the pharmacy tech asks me a different question from usual -- I start to get anxiety.

Last Monday I did not have the right insurance card because my work changed insurance. :mad:
Today I found the card in my piles of paper work and went back but the pharmacist said it wasn't accepted at that pharmacy. :confused:
I tried to act sweet and pathetic and assured him that it was accepted at his store. :o

Then he went to the computer while I stood behind the counter forever.

Eventually he came back to the register, said the card was good, and rang up my two bottles: $30.

When I come home from the pharmacy I feel like I am coming home from the wars -- blessed to be in one piece.
I feel like I fight little and big battles everyday to stay more or less stable.
:Viking:
It would be sooooooooo much different if I could fight these battles and end up feeling GOOD.
Now that would be nice. Nice for all of us.
That is my wish. That we all feel good someday soon.
:Heart:
Mari

that would be so wonderful indeed
Bobby

Agreed Bobby. :)

Oh Mari, I am so sorry you have this anxiety like that, I am glad you vented about it though, I am sure it's miserable to live with that. I keep lorazepam in my purse for anxiety attacks out in the world and I don't care WHO sees me take one if I am having severe anxiety. I hate that feeling, like someone behind a counter can refuse you or give you ripples of difficulty to get what you want. Or the worse fear, that something else from beyond the store having to do with insurance can make it so you have to walk away empty handed.

I have medicare part D and things change alot on their formulary so I am always anxious until I see the scripts come through the window and into my hands. I ran into trouble with Jackie's medicaid and I was so angry, instead of anxious I was fuming. Nothing could be done that wasn't done though, it was medicaid refusing to pay for his risperdal in spite of a increase in dosage. I had already started it assuming they would never refuse to fill his medication like that but they did and I had to get NINE emergency pills from the pharmacy PLUS drop his dosage back down from the already begun increase, so it set us back for a week and I was so angry.

It went two days PAST the normal due date too, I don't know what the trouble was but it better NOT happen again or I will call the media. AND deal with it THAT way because you cannot just stop that kind of medication like that, I would rather it was ME that it stopped like that for NOT my poor autistic son. But I am glad I don't have to go without the medicine, I remember how awful it is to be without it because two years ago I forgot to get my abilify filled in time for when I ran out and I had to go one day without it and the racing thoughts were so bad I could not even pray one complete thought as thoughts kept overlapping! :(

I'm glad you walked away from the pharmacy with what you needed, I would have had the same feeling of dread in my gut over the insurance fiasco you went through, but you got through it! You knew it was accepted there and you made HIM see it was too so GOOD for you! You should be feeling good, but I understand you don't. You probably felt drained emotionally from having to appear stable, I know that feeling. When I go shopping I have a bubbly personality but there are times my mouth chooses NOT to work properly and I can't make the words I am thinking and I think to myself, "My God I hope they don't think I am an idiot for messing up that last sentence!"

Anyway I am hoping you feel better soon, I hope my sharing some of my recent experiences helped you to feel less isolated, that was my intent by sharing it. :)

Yes. I'm wondering many times what they are thinking. Sometimes they say they cannot fill my medicine. They say it's to early. I'd say there's been a mistake. I know I don't abuse this medicine. I put it in trays. It's always there fault,and they don't like to communicate with the Doctor,or do anything that they don't have to do. I feel mortified if there are people standing around. I hate that. I wish that they could implement a new plan on how you can do this with no embarrassment. It makes you feel so small when they say you can't have a refill yet,and I know that they are wrong again. I've told them what my Doctor wants them to do. I think that he has them straightened out now. I don't like going to pick up my meds either. They never give you the benefit of the doubt. They know me now,and know that I don't lie,and I don't abuse,and they Fax my doctor now,which he told them to do in the first place. Oh me!


I have also freaked out in the past if I didn't know what a medicine was going to do. When I first took some medicines,I'd think is this medicine going to freak me out? Some medicines have given me a weird feeling,and I'd wonder if it was going to make me paranoid,or spacey. I'd wonder if I'd panic. One time I was in a hospital,and they took me off all of my medicines,and I had a seizer. They put me back on them. I was able to get the micro-tape of that hospital stay,and the Psychiatrist was going to try something new. I was in immense emotional pain,and he took me off of a addictive tranquilizer at the same time. Then he put me right back on it. He said that my problems appear to be real. What was he thinking! I hate these little,and big mistakes that Pharmacies,and Doctors make. I know what you mean. I wish that I could fight the battles,and feal good afterwards,but I usually feel false guilt,shame,anger,embarrassment,and creepy when I leave the Pharmacy.Then I'm tired when I get home,real tired,and tired of it all.

Brokenfriend

I think perhaps sometimes the pharmacy-anxiety (new word?) is because we are so dependent on them.

Also, sometimes, the stuff that happens seems so arbitrary and the rules seem confounding.

My pharmacists are good people. I found a found a good place.
But it still scares me to walk in there.


Oh and I just hate it when the generic changes to some different generic crap when the first generic crap was doing just fine. The pharmacists always say its the same ingredients when we know darn well it is not. Otherwise the color and markings would be the same. And I would feel the same.
I had one bottle I had to toss. It made the anxiety worse.
Thank goodness the next month, the pharmacy went back to its regular/old generic that I was used to.


Mari

I too have anxiety about the pharmacy, 2 years ago, I had my overnight bag stolen overseas and that created a mess with my meds etc...wehn I returned home I had to tell the pharmacy about it well since then everyone of the staff know me they don't even ask me my name they jsut go and get the meds...which makes me paranoid that they all know that I take an ANTIPSYCHOTIC!!!!!!
because I am crazy.......
sigh~
I always try to act very normal when I am at the window....it is like over compensating normalness....
I am sorry Mari that you had this run in with the pharmacist....
bizi

Now that Pharmacy Anxiety has a new name,...
 

...and it's out in the open,I always feel anxiety when I walk into the pharmacy. I was so nervous in the 70's,I felt like I was going to loose my voice when I asked for my medicine at the counter. For a long time in the Capital city where I lived,they delivered. If they came to the door,and knocked, I didn't answer. Then when I saw them leave,I'd open the door,and reach out with my arm,and pick up the medicine out of the door pouch,and bring it in without going out the apartment door. Isn't that pathetic? lol Yes,I had a real bad case of it years ago. I think it became Pharmacy Phobia.

Now I live in a small town,where everybody knows each other,well not quit everyone. Of course they do not deliver,so I've gone back to picking up my medicine. They cannot talk about your medicine,or you because of privacy laws. I'm uncomfortable to the point of anxiety,and have a slight paranoid feeling because there are so many controls on medications. When I had group insurance with the supermarket where I worked,I noticed the insurance companies must have counted every pill,and would not let you call in your medicine a day early. Now with all of this control over medicine,I'm having anxiety,and slight paranoid feelings,and anger when I walk into a pharmacy. I hate to say it,but the anger helps me with the process of getting my medicine now. What a bunch of baloney we go through all the time now.


In writing out this message,it reminded me that I use to loose my voice with a small panic while talking to people. It would come out of the blue. You should see there faces when they don't know whats happening to you. This happened allot in the 1980's. I'd never know when it was going to happen. I'd be talking,and then I'd freeze in the middle of what I was saying,and my mind would go blank. It was not a seizure,it was a panic reaction while talking to people. After all of these years,I know what a slight panic episode is,and when someone say's it's all in my head,or snap out of it,I know it's not that simple. I grind my teeth in my sleep. I can tell them that. Forget public speaking. Do you know how hard it was for me to explain to a teacher that I couldn't get in front of the class,and give a oral report.This was back in the late sixties,and early seventies. No one heard the word Phobia Clinic until about 1980,or 81,or82. If the teacher put me up there anyway,she'd find out very quickly what I was trying to tell her. What Embarrassment! I still tried to be cool like most teenagers. I try to hide this as best as I can,and I act like Im as normal as everyone else. I remember in the 6th grade,a teacher made me read out loud. With each stumbling of my word's while reading out loud,the class laughed louder,and louder. I walked out of the class,and went to the clinic. I remember that the Principle didn't know what it was(This was in about 1965),but he treated it seriously. He knew something that the teachers didn't know. He warned those teachers to not push me in class I think. He had a talk with one of my teachers,and she came back in the classroom with tears in her eyes. I'm sorry that the teacher got fussed at. I don't know what Elementary School Principles knew about these things in the mid-1960's. I know that they knew something. This Principle did anyway,and he tried to protect me. May God rest his soul. He was a older man back then,and this was over 40 years ago. I would never want to go through this again. I would never want to live my life again. It's a blessing that the human race doesn't live beyond 90,to 100 years for some people. I hope that I'm not depressing anyone. Am I triggering sensitive emotional memories in some people? I hope not.

Mari. I hope it's not me who is making you sad. You said that you have been sad resently. I hope it's not me doing it. You said your haven't taken a medicine recently. I hope that it's neither I,or that medication. I hope that It's just a passing thing, that will be over this afternoon.


I had forgotten about these things,but in writing about this subject,I can remember these experiences plain as day. There are to many of these experiences. They where beyond embarrassing. They where mortifying. It seems like everything is combined with a group of memories. These memories are very vivid,and I remember many of them well. My family tells me that they can hardly believe the things that I remember. I think that they thought that It was my intelligence,and not my anxiety's. It was my anxiety sidetracking my intelligence. Oh Gosh.:(:eek::confused::mad:

I hate pharmacies, especially mail order ones.

Donna

That a girl. Let it out. I hate pharmacies also.OH! I hate the way they look at me sometimes. One time recently I was confused about something,and the pharmacist beside the other pharmacist laughed. When I left,and was out the door,I felt ashamed. I feel shame about my illness because throughout history,they have called us all kinds of things,and put us in the category of lunatics,or psychos,and etc. I just hate that. Brokenfriend

I fear pharmacies because of the cost... no insurance.... and dealing with the rx assistance programs is not fun either.... Helpful yet very humiliating.

:(
Abbie

you have no idea....
 

what it is like on the OTHER side of the counter!

The anxiety there is at least 10 times what you experience. I know, because I couldn't take it anymore.

The job is impossible. And the good people who care get burned out, abused, robbed (yes criminals), ignored and insulted by management, insensitive greedy insurance companies, and every single patient with a unique lengthy problem with no time to solve them.
Being forced to give people drugs that may be harming more than helping in some cases. No breaks, no help, no lunch, 14 hr days standing...too many patients, not enough help and horrific working conditions. It is very difficult to call in sick so we go in feeling horrible, with fevers, throwing up, you name it.

Yes, people complain all the time... endlessly!

The caring people LEAVE this work. And then YOU are left with the insensitive, hardnosed type in the end. This is 40+yrs talking here!

Mrs. D.
Thanks for letting us see the the other side of the counter.
At my pharmacy I notice that they seem to be on their feet the whole shift.
Also, if someone calls in sick, someone else from another store comes in and ends up working an extra day.

I like the people at my pharmacy. It think I have left over anxiety from past situations.

Mari

I didn't want to rant on you guys...
 

I am a bit touchy today...the digging in our street to attach the new water main was just over the top...It has been two weeks of nightmare..anxiety etc.

There is no one to replace ME behind the counter <hint hint>

But I want to say, that in all my years, I never had problems with bipolar patients...in fact when I started at OBT and began reading bipolar there, I had some huge cognitive dissonance about this disorder. I knew which of my patients were bipolar by their meds. But it seemed to me that they were pretty well controlled, and the rapport with their doctors was good.

Most of my problems were insurance snafus, and drug addicts, liars and forgers,scammers, some violent etc. I guess my worst type patient was the borderline out of control type, unmedicated. Mostly female and pretty rare.
I have on occasion called their doctors at home to describe the acting out.
It was almost always over benzos and no other drug.

I guess what I see from the other side of the counter are personality disorders.
And it appears to me that bipolar patients can have any combination of personalities like everyone else, with bipolar layered in.

I don't know if you are following the trial in Seattle about Mr. N. Haq, who shot 6 women in the Jewish Federation building in July 06.. One woman died. And one was pregnant.
It is on TV in the daytime, and the details about his management are very complex and confusing. He has a dual diagnosis of schiztoaffective disorder.
But he certainly knew right from wrong when he did this.

I think it is important to understand when you go the Pharmacy that no one is out to target you or make your life more difficult or whatever. The easier it goes for both parties, the better. The enemy is the insurance company!

Doctors do not reward disorganized behavior in their patients. So I guess the best way to approach the refill time is to think ahead, plan ahead. If you have to write yourself reminders etc.

The closest I have seen to patient anxiety in the drugstore has been epileptic patients. Some are very very touchy and imagine that we are "judging" them,
etc. And you know, NO ONE CARES a whit. Everything is neutral and equal wherever I have worked. Now in a small town, where everyone knows everyone, and the clerks know you etc..it might be a little different. I have been asked repeatedly to open a place up North, town of 700. And I certainly won't do that ever. The gossip up there is huge. So it might depend on where you live.

But basically there is nothing to be anxious about in getting your meds. Really.
And if you do have a problem, report it, act on it, and it will get fixed.
I think that is rare, tho.

That was really good info. Mrs. D.
I had a problem with one pharmacist who was so unfriendly...actually seemed a bit mean to me. He NEVER offered to help in any, way, shape or form. Yes, I thought it might be because he was very busy, but the person who took his place on his day off was very helpful.

One day he ridiculed me in front of customers regarding an over counter medication I was looking for. The store didn't have it and it needed to be ordered. I had done this before at his location and at least once before at another location. So....I was very familiar with what I was talking about. It was originally rx only, but was now available without a prescription for at least two years. When I asked if they would order if for me again, he started yelling at me that I was trying to order a prescription medication and needed a doctors rx. I calmly explained that it was now available w/o a prescription and that the pharmacy had in fact ordered it for me before! He yelled at me again! :eek: I calmly asked the cashier to call the store manager. When he came, I asked if we could speak privately. I then LET HIM HAVE IT! I told him that the pharmacist was DEAD WRONG and that if he had even listened to what I was saying, he would have realized it. In addition, I had seen him bark at employees and be indifferent to customers NUMEROUS times. When I got out of the little room with the manager he (the pharmacist) was paging me. He said that he looked it up and discovered I was right all along. (Well, like duh!)
A few days later, I got a call from the District Manager apologizing. I ended up going to another branch of the same pharmacy and I take a few scripts to a local mom and pop place. IMHO, that guy might be overworked (I suppose this is obvious), but his horrible attitude doesn't help matters one bit.
Bottom line: Be polite, order ahead of time, if there is a problem...speak up. If the problem persists or someone is rude, ask to speak to the manager. To be honest, it is RARELY any problem at all...this was an unusual "fella" and an unusual situation.

All of those help programs have a shaming affect for us with emotional issues. Every one of them. I have only asked for assistance recently,and the questions on the forms make me feal like crawling under my chair. Then your honor is questioned. They seem to wonder if you are lying about anything. Why would I lie about something like this? I don't lie in the first place. I don't have insurance anymore either. BF

This is in reference to post #10 Sorry for it being out of order.

Hi,

This is one of my problems. I have huge brain fog and am generally disorgized anyway. With regard to pharmacies, I have an "expect the worst" attitude because I know any number of things could go wrong.
I've been picking up meds twice a month for 20 years under various insurance plans and different docs and at different stores now and I've seen things go wrong.

Things can go wrong because of a screw up by me or from any number of people in the chain (the docs screw up certainly) but they can also go wrong because of nothing that I could ever anticipate -- even after all these years of practice of trying to get it right.


These problems are rare indeed.
But I think that many (not all) of us would not bother to report. I certainly don't have the energy or the will.

And I can't explain things very well due to memory issues and brain fog so when I am in the situation I have strong doubts that my case would be taken seriously by anyone who can help.

It's frustrating and scary to feel so dependent on everyone in the health care team.

M.

there are "jerks" everywhere...
 

One can find jerks everywhere. I've had a jerk dentist (who slapped me when I was a little girl and crying in the chair having a tooth pulled).

I had a terrible nurse when I delivered my son, who I had to report to her
supervisor (she kept grabbing my arm --which had phebitis from an irritating IV--which hurt more than my C-section incision).. I asked her to please don't do that--3 times. After being forced on that third time, I told her to get out and never come back. And she was indeed gone!

I have had jerks for doctors.

I've had jerks for neighbors.
I know jerk pharmacists as well. And they never change, as well.

Our society is devolving in many respects. Just this week are the Forbes report about CEOs who make 40-100 million a year running their companies into the ground. If that isn't a JERK what IS?

I sort of think of life that can be like swimming. The water does not swim for you. YOU have to navigate IT. There might be a rip current that catches you, or a big wave, and then you have to cope or lose. But swimming can be pleasurable too. How we reframe experiences helps our brains to cope. I truly think we can help ourselves for most things.

When it comes to anxiety--- and I live with this too, with NO drugs, it is the left over result of my abusive childhood-- the most successful coping I have learned is to ACT rather than REACT and lose control.
For example yesterday was BAD for me. This city project is driving everyone here nuts. Will I have water today? Where will I put my car? Will this pounding and shaking of the house, break something that will lead us to bigger problems? The dirt/dust is making everyone sneeze including pets.
Yesterday, it was really bad... REALLY...and I started pacing around and just getting away from myself at 9am no less. So after a 1/2 hr of this, I decided to take my camera and go down there and take some pictures. I ended up talking to some of the guys, and watching, and then walking around and taking
pictures of the neighbors, etc. I went down there 3 times watching them screw around looking for our old main. The worry was if our connection and the neighbor's which is 4 ft away are NOT copper...then they are digging up our whole front yard, which I have gardens on. I did not want this, of course, and I suspected we were copper because it was repaired 5 yrs ago. But the anxiety was considerable! I knew they were digging in the wrong spot..but they wouldn't listen to me. In the end they found the pipes and they were where I told them. (never listen to a woman, I guess). Interacting with them actually helped me in the end...when all I wanted to do was hide in the house!

here is a picture of it at one point:
The garden in front is the one at risk. With me being so impaired now, I can't face repairing it if it were dug up! Where the men are working is where we park our cars, since we don't have a garage, and live on the hill! The cars have been a big problem since these huge machines fill the whole road!
Everything has been a nightmare.
Next will be putting in the new curbs, and repaving which will be perhaps in a month. That means a whole month of car/parking problems.

We had to remove about 20% of the plants and rocks and part of my steps as it was...my son came in to help us, a weekend ago.
And he offered to help us fix the stairs, and put in the new blocks that we use along the curb to get into our cars.
It is lovely on the hill, and people ooooh and ahhhh but it is very difficult. And now with my physical challenges very hard on me.
I would like to move, but hubby won't. It is a family home for 4 generations. sigh.

I am standing on the sidewalk taking this picture looking down. The hill behind me is 20 more steps UP to the front door.

Btw
 

June '08 Consumer Reports has a whole evaluation on
Drugstores in America with lots of side data as well.

You cannot view it online without a membership, but you can visit your
favorite drugstore (LOL) and read it there, or the library.

In essence the companies that treat their employees the worst,
showed up the worst in the list. (eg: RiteAid)
It is a pretty good article...check it out.

What a nitemere Mrs.D....Your flowers are lovely!
thanks for sharing....I hope this ends sooner than later....
bizi

Thanks Bizi....
 

Yesterday they told us they were done. Next would be the road work, etc.

But today they stood around and hemmed and hawed...and they discovered
that they forgot to fix the manhole in the right front of our house.

So Monday they will BE BACK. So they left their giant digger parked in front
of our house and we can't park the cars because of it. (we are using the backyard of a neighbor who is in Florida but returning tomorrow).

We have verbal permission from the traffic supervisor to park illegally on the highway in back...but I don't like leaving the cars there at night, like sitting ducks for breakins/theft. She said if we are ticketed she will reverse them. Yeah sure.

Then the lightning started, and they left. Guess there is a union clause about lightning storms. At least the beeping stopped. Having 4 huge machines all beeping beeping together is pretty awful. There is the giant digger with a claw bigger than a person, another digger fitted with the tamper...which shakes the house, a huge red truck to take the dug up stuff away, and a huge bulldozer to bring more sand.

I am so glad I am not working right now... This would really P.O me then.

Hi bizi
 

Hang in there. You will be OK. I'd say more,but I seem to be very tired right now. I've been tired for the last several days. I haven't been on NeuroTalk in two days,and nights. Brokenfriend:hug: