Employment or no
 

Hi Everyone,
Well.. I am not even at the point of working yet. I am still in school for my second masters and I guess I am worried I won't be able to get through school for another year and if I'll be able to work after that. I am trying to stay positive about my future but I am terrified I won't be able to provide for my sons. I am mostly worried about my son with Autism and making sure he's ok (he's only 9). I am trying to take it one day at a time but I worry about years in the future. What do you guys do to make it through everything and plan financially for your future? :confused: My ex husband says I'm a worrier and I am but MS just makes it moreso!

Monique

Well, Monique, I worry about each day as it comes. If you plan to be disabled, you'll be robbing yourself of a lot of life's experiences. I say get your butt back in school, if that's what you aim to do. I went for my M.S. in the middle of an attack, but I was bored! I have no regrets, I quit working about 10 years ago, there was too much left for me to do. I have become quite disabled, but I still don't let it stop me. :)

Take a little time to get used to this, life is going to continue with or without you, jump in and do everything!

Hi Monique,

I understand your fears and concerns, but I agree that you should try to finish your degree. You may have to take a lighter course load, but do not give up. I think that you probably need to do something for yourself in order to be there for your son.

I was dx in March 2007, and I am a professor. Last summer I did not know how I was going to go back to classes in the fall and I was worried that I would have to go on disability. But I did go back and there were some days that were tough ( I did take 2 sick days), but gradually I realized that I could do this. I just have to be careful to take some down time every afternoon, and listen to my body when it is telling me to take it easy. For example, I sit most of the time while teaching, and have cut back on service (committee) work.

At first, I thought I could not make any plans because this dang disease is so unpredictable. But I have gradually come to understand that if I do not make plans then I am allowing the ms to win. At the same time, I am trying to be practical by paying off all of my credit cards and saving more money. Notice I said trying ...

Good luck!

Thanks
 

Barb,
Thanks for the advice! I will try and get through this upcoming year. I have always been the one to juggle everything and I have my 3 boys, 2 of them special needs, a graduate assistantship, and an internship at a hospital (this past semester I was working in Hospice).

I am doing well with my money, I threw a ton of it in a safe in my room just in case and I have no credit card debt. I still don't know if I'm going to tell the lady in the hosp. about my MS or switch to another placement where I won't have to walk around all day (3 days a week). Wow.. you must be proud of going to class and fighting against the MonSter!


I am already registered with the Disability Resource Center at UGA, I guess I will write my counselor and just make contact with her, and maybe I'll feel better about the whole thing. I am going to plow through this all, sometimes I just feel like such a waste with going on two masters and then will have to (maybe) eventually apply for SSI/SSDI and not use those degrees. :eek: Ugh..

Monique

Hi Monique - I agree with Barb! Don't give up. Like she said, if you have to take a lighter load for awhile then do it. I am also a professor who is newly diagnosed (Sept. 2007). I worry about the future and whether I can keep teaching but I am soldiering on. Don't ever believe that getting your masters degrees is a waste of time! Even if you don't wind up "using them" in the future (and there is no guarantee that will happen--what happens if you never have to apply for SSDI?) they will still have value. You will have worked very hard for those degrees in spite of the odds and raising a family and that is to be commended. It also sounds like you like to learn and challenge yourself aside from just getting the degree for professional reasons. So keep going even if you have to slow down.


Good luck with everything! :)

Natalie

Dear Monique,
 

I understand what it is like to feel your future for yourself, your family, and your career could be in question. It's hard not to think about the possiblities, especially if your dx is pretty new. You have, and are, working hard to assure a good future for you kids. Your thoughts are natural. Give yourself a little time to get use to it. :hug:

Hopefully it won't be an all or nothing thing. I have had to make major cut backs, while not quitting everything entirely. I've been a teacher for 24 years. I have a masters degree and am currently a reading specialist. My dream was to teach in a university before my retirement. I probably won't get to do that, but plan on staying active and using what I have now for as long as possible. It's just about making myself slow down and not expecting as much from myself as I used to. I can still make a difference for some. I may not be able to move the mountain, but maybe can still shake it up a little bit! :wink:

As you have seen, there are a lot of smart folks here at NT. They offer good advice. Be easy on yourself...but don't give up hope! :grouphug:

Thank you
 

Thank you Natalie! lol I am definitely a type A personality! The past two semesters I have been trying to get a 4.0 and I only got 8 As and 2 A-s which makes my GPA only a 3.94. I really am not worried about myself as much as hoping I can take care of my sons. I was looking at pictures from a couple years ago and it made me sad 'cause those were the days I wasn't sick :hissyfit: Luckily, I have a great ex husband..and he's a good guy that's always looking out for me. I have always respected professors, what do you teach? I am going to just take it one day at a time, it's all I can really do. Thank you for your advice!

Monique

Thank you
 

Gosh,
I feel like I should be a teacher/professor now :wink: I guess I get nervous because I am going to school now for social work and worry if I cannot drive how I would have a livelihood but physically I'm still ok other than having muscle spasms but they seem to be under control now. I am battling fatigue but I will see if that continues throughout the summer. I do think after awhile of getting used to my diagnosis I will feel better and will figure out ways to adapt to this. Thanks!!

Monique

I teach Political Science. One of the great things about teaching is that you can take the summers off if you choose to do so. I have a very flexible schedule (mainly teach classes in the mornings) and can do alot of work at home.

I am going to approach this from another angle . . . cause that is what I do. :D

I'm not sure why you would feel it is necessary to get two masters degrees . . . unless of course it is for some reason? :confused: Is it necessary for the type of work you want to do, or for the pay you hope to get . . . or what?

I too am a Type A, but there were two things my neuro told me when she mentioned MS in 1991:

1. Don't have kids
2. REDUCE STRESS

Well, I had my kids anyway :), and I don't regret that decision. Otherwise though . . . I did reduce stress in a BIG way. Even though I had just spent several years getting my education and career in place . . . I dropped those "dreams", right there and then, in order to focus on taking care of my health. From that point forward, I put my kids first, my career last, and because I was very skilled, I still made excellent money doing very easy jobs.

I was able to remain gainfully employed for 14 yrs after the MS became a force to reckon with, and consider myself very lucky in that regard. Perhaps I could have continued to work beyond that, but it would have been a terrible struggle to do so, and my new neuro told me to REDUCE STRESS. That is what I did.

I have disability coverage, fortunately, so I can provide for my family (I am a single mom, with a very supportive ex too).

I really admire that you can raise 3 kids, as a sole custodial parent, especially with one (or two) who have special needs. Those things alone are huge accomplishments!!

So, I guess my recommendation would be to REDUCE STRESS. If it is not necessary to get that second degree, I would go out and make some money while I still can.

To each their own though.

Cherie

hi monique,

welcome to NT.
wow. you're a real success in my book.
what accomplishments you already have.
you are managing so much in your life in a positivie manner.
i'm sure that will con't.

i have gotten scared along the way too.
when that happens i try to come up with a plan. having a plan to deal with fears, and happenstances in my life is what keeps the fear in check.

i was dx'd at 53. that was 5 yrs ago. i was a NICU RN for 35 yrs and couldn't keep up with the physical demand. but, i've remained active. i'm still independent and drive. i figure if my legs don't let me drive my hands will.

stay positive. don't give up. you may have to make some adjustments but you'll find a way around it. listening to your body is a biggy too. give yourself some time to rest when needed.

i know you're going to do this.
hope to hear more of your posts.

Hey Monique, you're already tops in my books! You've done a marvelous job raising your children and studying as well. I (and lots of other MSers) know how hard that is!

Congratulations with your achievemants so far, but you have to get on with life.

After the divorce from my first husband I worked full time. I raised a small daughter and went to Night School most nights of the week to get my Bachelor of Health Science Degree.

If I'd have thought the way that you're thinking, I'd probably have lost custody of my daughter when it went to court all those years ago. I wouldn't have had the courage to fight like I did.

I'd never have achieved what I was so very proud of, my Bachelor's Degree. I'd have never advanced through the ranks of my profession which was a registered nurse.

I'd have never regained the confidence that I had lost along the way.

You have to believe you can do it Monique. Once you lose that I believe that you lose the will to fight.

Thanks
 

Hi,
Well.. my first degree was in psychology but I never earned a license with that one because it was a one year degree. This will be a two year social work degree that I will be able to do more with (and thought I could have my own practice if I wanted to). Unfortunately, working in GA as a therapist/social worker/counselor you need to be licensed so that is why I went back to school.

Not to mention I have a grad. assistantship so I'm actually going back to school for $600/semester compared to people taking out tons of loans. I might actually try and get a job after school with the Disability Resource Center at UGA.. my counselor has the same degree I would have - MSW and they are pro-disabilities of course :wink:

I am ALL for less stress.. my kids are going to visit my ex's parents tomorrow..so I have the whole house to myself.. I wonder what I'll do first ;) Thank you for writing and giving me advice.

Monique

Thank you
 

Hi,

Yes.. I think that is the hardest part for me, understanding my body sometimes will do what it wants to whether I like it or not. I was slightly embarrassed when I had the muscle spasms in class and people were freaking out and calling 911 thinking I was having a stroke.

I was having a miserable time for the first couple weeks. I was very down but I think I'm coming out of it by meeting people on here and trying to move on with my life and knowing MS will change things but I'll get through it all somehow.

I think what really bothered me, I was working in Hospice this past semester and two people in our program had MS and one was only 21 and she wasn't doing too well when I left.

I think tomorrow I will eat ice cream :icecream: and watch movies and relax. Thank you for writing to me, I really appreciate it!

Monique

Hi
 

Hi,
Yes.. I think I am just getting through the whole dealing with Anger.. Sadness and mourning the life I thought I would have and moving to being happy and grateful for the things I have like my kids! :) I am proud of my sons and how well they did in school this year and I'm proud of going back to school and pulling a 3.94 while having a grad. assistantship & an internship at the Hospice.

My ex is taking my kids to my ex inlaws tomorrow so I have a day to myself. I don't know what I'll do but it'll probably involve ice cream and movies!! :eek: I am also waiting to hear back from a clinic about the oral pill study I pre-interviewed for and we'll see if I get in that so I'm optimistic. Thank you for writing!

Monique

It is so nice to read this! Sometimes I feel like I am in the minority of people that went into over drive upon diagnosis rather than slowing down, lol. Perhaps it is because I wasn't raised with much but I have always been paranoid about not having enough money and wow MS has really fed into those fears which is why I'm working like a fiend for as long as I can. I need to be able to afford the nursing care I may need one day. :(

I think I am a bit confused about how necessary 2 masters degrees are, unless I misunderstood your OP, but if you think it will open up more opportunities for you to work if/when your MS progresses definitely go for it especially if you are able to work while you are in school.

Degrees that are used are a wonderful asset but on another board I visit I often read about people loading up on loans/debt for degree after degree without ever working in one of the fields and that doesn't seem very proactive to me.

I went back to school after being diagnosed because I also wanted a career that would offer me more flexibility. I would not have done it if I had to take a loss of income for the few years it took me to graduate though. I felt it necessary to keep working and bringing in money while the sun is shining as they say. Wishing you all the best. Jules

Thanks for clarifying, Monique.

I seem to have missed the part in your first posting, where you explained you have only one more year of school. That, combined with the fact that you need this to do the job you want, and you are getting a fairly inexpensive education . . . I completely understand why you would persevere with this degree. Under those circumstances, I would make the same decision.

Like I said previously, I worked for 14 more years after the MS became more difficult. There are a lot of people who to work until retirement, as it really depends on what kind of job we do, and the way that the disease unfolds for us as individuals. For instance, I know several people in wheelchairs who have continued to work full-time throughout their career, because they are dependant on their minds instead of their bodies to do their jobs well.

In my line of work, what was most important was accuracy to detail, and meeting deadlines. As fatigue and reliability were my two worst stumbling blocks to contend with, it made it very hard to carry on in any capacity. I know many people (i.e. think Montel Williams) who do not experience those particular symptoms, and they continue on in their careers for considerably longer. Fatigue has never been an issue for Montel though, and obviously things may have been different for him if it was.

The first year after dx can be difficult for some people, because sometimes the disease is more active (then it will be later), and because adapting emotionally can be difficult for most. If you find yourself struggling during this period, with the disease process and emotional adjustments . . . that is normal. However, if you anticipate it to some degree, then I think you might worry less when things don't go exactly as planned all the time. To that end, you will need to cut yourself some slack, and even though you'll continue to set the bar high (because that's the kinda' gal you are :-) ), plan NOT to stress if things don't always work out the way you might have liked them too.

I had very large career goals at a young age, and I had to go through a major attitude adjustment when I realized I had MS. I never stopped achieving to my fullest potential, but I definitely reduced the scope of what I hoped to achieve career-wise. I was still the best at what I did :D . . . I just didn't realized early that I wasn't going to be able to the job that I always thought I would.

You are obviously an over-achiever, and that gives you a big leg up on your opportunities in life. My only suggestion would be to don't aim to be the President, just aim to use your skills and attributes in a more accommodating way (maybe Vice-President :)) so that you can conserve energy and reduce stress to a manageable level.

Hope that made sense.

Cherie

Thank you
 

Cherie,
Thank you for the message, it brightened my day! Hmm.. I think running for President might be too stressful, what about Congress? ;) If I can get through this first year, it might be better.

Being a social worker will rely on my brain and talking and both of those are still intact. My problem will be driving and getting where I need to if my eyes or legs act up. Luckily, I have no real mobility problems other than numbness and hypersensitivity on my left side and my vision gets blurry every morning but then clears within a minute after blinking so I hope that continues to be the case.

That's my biggest problem, letting go and cutting myself slack. Cohorts in my class think its funny that a 3.9 is NOT good enough for me but I will try and just BREATHE and relax more and just get through this degree. My biggest worry is working in a hospital for my internship this year for a whole year and being able to walk around the whole time. I am contemplating asking for a more sedentary placement. One day at a time! and today I took my nap since the boys are visiting their grandparents on my ex's side and I'm going to Walmart to buy some Apples and other treats. Thanks for writing to me, I appreciate the MS knowledge you have and making me feel better!

Monique:hug:

Hi
 

Jules,

Thank you for writing to me. As far as my degrees, I went for a Psych. degree about seven years ago and that provided me with a therapist job but I don't have a license and could not have my own practice (it was a one year degree).

After moving from Mass. to Florida and now Georgia I would have to take basic counselor jobs because most therapist or professional jobs require the degree to have a license so I went back to school (before I knew I had MS) and since I have a grad. assistantship I'm basically going to school for free. I didn't have symptoms for five months until December and then I had some vision blurriness that would go away after five minutes or less.

I took Betaseron for two (non consecutive months) because my school insurance stinks and I started to get numbness and hypersensitivity on my left side. My insurance is capped at $1500 a month so there is no real point in starting with them since I would be done after a month. So, I applied with a clinical site for a research study on Fingolimod and am waiting to hear back from them.

Financially I'm doing ok now and while at school and I would make lots more with this degree so I'm trying to hold out until next May. I think I can do it!! But thank you for writing back to me :)

Monique