Living in a senior facility at 37, whaddaya think?
 

Hello,

This is a question I never thought I'd even consider asking at my age but I am going to ask now.

I'm mobile, I work full-time, I'm happily divorced since 2000 with no kiddos.

In the last year my health has definitely declined. Within the last few months, I see it declining even more. I have been having fatigue worse than ever before in my life. I can sleep the weekends away and still be zonked on Monday.

The leg spasms and stiffness in my legs and back are worse than ever before also.

I rarely sleep all the way through the night for a variety of reasons. Sometimes the legs, sometimes a bathroom run, sometimes for no rhyme or reason.

My legs are acting up in the way that I move. I have stairs in my current apartment to get up to my bedroom. They are getting to be hazardous at times. I am perfecting the Frankenstein, cased-in-cement walking technique.

I'm 37, obviously don't own a home and I doubt that I ever will at this point. There are some senior facilities in my small city of about 20,000 that take people with mobility difficulties.

I believe rent there is subsidized, although I make more than most seniors do so I don't know how it would work for me. There are no stairs, yippee, an elevator, and washers and dryers in the building. Plus, it's right by the beautiful river that runs through the middle of my city. There is also parking.

My current building has several steps up to get from the parking lot to the inside of the building. Then there are several more steps down to get to my apartment down in the lower level. Altogether something like 18-20 steps to get inside and down to the apartment and then again in reverse to leave the apartment to go to work or run errands.

It's so hard to get the groceries in from the car and to take lots of stuff out to the car for school. Taking the trash out is another exhausting activity.

My mom had suggested a few years back about applying to live in one of these senior facilities that take people who are mobility impaired. I thought she was nuts then.

I am now changing my tune. Does anyone else here live in a place like this or know someone younger that lives in a place like this?

Is it crazy for me to even consider this? I can walk but it's just so hard at the moment. I do have a cane which will probably get used again soon.

The last time I looked to move in this area it was so hard to find a place with no stairs at all. Read, impossible. Let alone something that I could even afford. I make decent money but I owe, owe, owe and I am trying hard to pay down my debt.

Anyone have anything to share here? I'd love some advice and ideas.

Thanks,
Weebs37

I know a woman who is probably nearly 50 now, who has had an apartment in "assisted living" for maybe ten years or so. Besides the relief at having everything accessible and having transportation available, there was a bonus: being one of the younger residents, she was kind of the "pet" of some of the elders.

Though she has mobility issues, her mind is sharp and she has been able to help some of the residents with a lot of things, such as writing letters, etc. She is very happy there.

There are some things to seriously consider, Weeb. First, dollar value per sq. ft. Most of those buildings are privately owned by corporations whose objective is to capitalize on the gov't subsidy. The standard, unsubsidized rent will be the highest per sq. ft. that the market can bear. The subsidized rent is 33% of the tenant's entire income, the rest, the gov't pays without questions.

Second, you have to apply and prove that you are disabled to be accepted in most of them. If you are not receiving social security disability income, I have no idea how you'd go about proving it to them.

Next, the ratio of under-62-yrs. tenants is generally 10% of the entire building and the wait for an opening is typically one or more years.

The quality of the building will generally be minimal and sound will easily travel through walls and doorways. Interior hallways are very stuffy in colder months as the elderly tend to use higher heat settings.

As a younger person, you will be a veritable novelty to the general population and they will want to know everything they can about your business for discussion fodder during bingo.

Your neighbors will want to visit often, have a good look at your interior and spend lots of quality time with you. They are rarely shy about interrogating you on every opportunity. Your privacy will be pecked at on a daily basis, you will receive baked goods often, some pretty good, many questionable. ;)

The average size of these apts. is between 600-800 sq. ft., that is very small and you'll feel it!

The quality of the building maintenance is all over the spectrum, most in this category are pretty good because the occupants care about their community and the management can't afford to lose their subsidies agreement.

You can learn more about this kind of building at the HUD page, here:
http://www.hud.gov/

Why/how do I know this? I spent the bulk of my 30s in one! :)

Your best bet is to make an appointment with the property manager and go over your qualifications for residency there.

My Mom lives in a senior retirment home. They have studio to 2 bedroom apartments. There is one lady that lives there that is not a senior, just disabled. She has had a bad stoke. She must have a lot of money because the complex is private pay. You can pay a heck of a lot more to get nursing care which she recieves.

Anyway, back to the ranch, She seems to be happy. Because of her personality she is well liked. She is kind of an oddity there because of her age. This complex has a full time activity director so there are things to do all the time and some one is always watching our for you.

Thanks for that indepth reply AMN. I'm sure your data will benefit others besides Weeble37. To be honest, it was something I too had thought of, but not for just yet!

What I've been thinking was a retirement village with separate units, rather than a nursing home come hostel, approach. It's something I have to look further into, but something I've been thinking about, just the same.

Just doing some homework about the pros and cons at the moment!

Wow, Weeble, you are so brave so be thinking along these lines.

I remember back in the "old neighborhood" that Tabbico had already made up her mind that she was going to retire on a cruise ship. Seriously!

She said it cost about the same as a retirement home. Also, you can have family visit once or twice a year for a really great rate. :hug:

I remember reading something about that!! Just get on that ship and never get off! With all the food they provide and the entertainment it sounds like a perfect alternative to a retirement community!

Thanks for the info. I'm not looking to go into a nursing home but was considering a facility for seniors that also takes some people who are disabled.

Frankly, I just make too much money to go into the ones locally. My rent would double and that's just not possible now.

I guess I will look for a new apartment without stairs and see what I can find. I am thinking about looking on craigslist even though I am not in a big city. I have seen some local places in there.

On paper I make good money but the fact is it's pretty much all spent with my rent, car, student loans, personal debt and other bills. I'm a teacher so I have to set aside money for the summer throughout the year.

We all know your dollar doesn't go as far as it used to even last month! Gas here is $4.10 and rising about every other day. I don't know how people on small budgets can even survive.

Sigh, thanks for the advice and such everyone!
Weebs37

Best of luck to you, Weeble. Looking for a first floor apartment seems like a good plan.

There are some things to consider.

My mom is now moving into a Senior housing center, for the disabled, and elderly. She was able to provide a letter from her MD that stated she did exercises at home, and needed equipment. (she is post polio syndrome) Because of that, she got a TWO bedroom apartment, for the same price as the ONE bedroom. It seems the one bedroom spots go quickly, and they tend to have less of a wait for the two bedroom ones. She is moving this week, so I dont know how it is for her but...

my DH aunt moved into a local place, and WOW the people on both sides of her smoke like freight trains! Her place stinks! the hall stinks. you can smell it seep under the sink where the plumbing comes through and in the potty under the sink where the plumbing comes through. She is not a smoker, and it pretty upset about all of her nice clothes and stuff now stinking. The management says unless those neighbors were on O2, its a free country, and they can smoke in their place if they want.

Most places offer a noon or dinner time meal in the communtiy center that is included in the rental. The good thing is that the rent is typically 30% of your income. You will have to pay for phone and cable usually. There are rides to and from most medical, and shopping places.

As with anything else in this life, it has good points, and bad points. I hope you are able to find a good one. :hug:

AMN - you nailed that so well, LOL! Fodder over Bingo...:Talkative::Talkative::Talkative::Talkativ e::Talkative:


Both my mom and MIL live in retirement villages. They are geared toward low income, and that may work against you now Weeble, but it would work for you later ( when you retire).

They adjust your rent for medical expenses - Mom's facility even allows non-prescription meds as a deductible.

I can't speak for MIL's facility, maybe because she does not prefer to be as involved we don't hear about any activities, or perhaps they don't have as many. But at my Mom's, they are always going somewhere. I hear about Mom's because she is the secretary and I type her minutes (scary thought!).

They take a trip every month or have an outing - Mud Hens ballgame or Eirie Street Market in the summer - and probably two onsite things a week . There's monthly Gv't food delivery, a bus you call 24 hrs in advance if you need a ride anywhere - used to be a buck, I think it's 2 now - monthly Bday brunch, holiday parties, etc.

All the outings are very low cost. I think the ballgame was $5, for a ride, ticket, hotdog and drink.

My mom is never home.

:D

Weeble,
I know this may sound crazy, but when I read your post it so sounded how I've been feeling the past few weeks. I drug myself to the health club this evening, did a couple of lower body strength machines and only 10 minutes on the treadmill and I feel like a different person. It seems when I get busy with work and life in general and neglect my exercise, I see things go downhill fast. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a 'super-in-shape' person, I wish I was, but the little exercise that I do seems to help me feel better and keep me going. I don't know if this advice would help you any, but I thought I'd reply because I can really emphasize with how I'd been feeling in the past couple of weeks and at other times when I neglected myself.

Good Luck and hope things turn around for you! BTW, I'm 41.

Take care,

Hi Weeble!

You've received some good suggestions here, both pro and con. One more thing to consider, I have a "cyber friend" with MS in a nursing home. He went in while in his 40's -- now 50's. He really dislikes living there since most of the other residents are so elderly, the dining room is noisy with many residents hard of hearing, etc., yelling that can be heard from other rooms, and just the overall depression of so many people dying. One day a certain person is at your table, the next day they're gone.

Just some food for thought. If you could find a place with more younger people, that would be fine. If I was in your situation, I'd try to find a more accessible apartment and hang on to your independence as long as possible. I personally live alone, use a powerchair all the time but have lined up help, ie, cleaning people, hair dresser comes to the house, "Zoomin Groomin" that grooms my dog in their truck in my driveway, a "gardener", etc. Now I can no longer drive so will depend on friends for transportation. There is county-run mini bus transportation available for doctor appointments, etc. if desired. Please -- think carefully before making your decision.

Take care.......:)

I guess I should have clarified that I didn't mean a nursing home. I just meant single apartments where older people live. None of that eat all together and share a room business, etc.

I have decided to stay where I am for at least another year but maybe trying to get another apartment in a different building. It would still have a few stairs inside to get up to the bedroom but I am trying to find a place that has no stairs to get inside to the apartment itself. There are two units like that out of all the units in the 7 buildings here.

My heat is included in my rent and it only went up a little so that is placing me in the frame of mind to stay another year.

Thanks for all of your answers and advice,
Weebs37

Good luck Weeble!

Good luck Weeble. I hope you find that apartment with no stairs :hug:

Some
 

Some of the places will let you stay for a week in furnished to see how you
would like it. Friend 1 loved it ,friend 2,well not so well but when everyone
parents,sisters that were helping her travel and such started to leave her behi at least she has friends..When it comes right down to it,you will have to decide,and takes a
while to get in some..My children in there 30's married live all over the United States ,thought I might like it not yet but some day's lol I could go live by one
but don't want to live with them..Good luck to all of you,I didn't know that Cindy,that's where you got that humor of your's...Hugs to all Sue