This is hard to write
 

This is hard to write. I can waffle on about anything under the sun but as soon as I try to talk about my stuff, it just won't come out. I was diagnosed in 1990 with a schizoid personality disorder. To be honest I’m not exactly sure what that is, I mean in comparison to other personality disorders.

In January this year, I felt myself slipping. I have learned to recognise the signs and I can usually cope with it myself. But last month I gave in and went to see my doctor, and he arrange for me to speak with someone on the 19th of last month. One and a half hours before my appointment I got a phone call telling me that they would have to reschedule. A few days latter I got a letter with a new appointment which is this coming Monday.

Being older now and being familiar with the pattern this takes, I didn't really mind waiting for the appointment to come around, but it is beginning to get a little difficult. I haven't been diagnosed with Dissociate Identity Disorder (DID) but this does present itself a little, making things more difficult. And the one thing that makes the whole situation worse is stress. I work to stay calm but it gets hard sometimes.

The last time I talked to a psychiatrist was over ten years ago. And I wasn't in the best frame of mind to be making enquiries about my disorder. When I am ready to ask about it and learn more, my doctor doesn't know what to say, and I have to be in a bad way before I can get an appointment to talk to a psychiatrist. And if I'm that bad that I need to talk to one, I'm not up to asking questions. Can you see what I'm trying to say?

So I was wondering if there was anyone on the board who had any experience of this disorder, and who might be able to answer some questions for me.

Sorry, no experience. Just thought you'd like a hug! :hug: I hope you are able to have a good session with your doc. Hoping you can stay calm until then. :)

hello Roseblue:hug:

I too hope the appt with the new doc goes well on Monday.

There are other members here at NT who can give you support and info on DDs, but I thought you may also like to know about our sister site, administered by DocJohn too, where they have a special forum for DD
http://forums.psychcentral.com/postl...Cat=&Board=did

hoping you will give an update after your doc visit..praying you will have peace and rest till then

Thanks for the support. I think I will go check out that link. I’m fine really, I just become a little overwhelmed sometimes with ‘unwanted’ thoughts and feelings. I’m not on any medication, seems it’s a symptom of my condition, I’m on again off again, mostly off these last few years. When I was younger I was almost driven crazy with fear because I didn’t understand what was going on. But I can deal with it now, most of the time. Thanks again.

:hug: hi roseblue.

i know many on our bipolar forum here have mixed dx's. it's a very caring and active forum.

:D just post wherever you want. i do. :D it always makes me feel good to pop into the SOS forum and do some wondering.

I will, thanks.

I logged on over there and posted an intro. It’s getting a bit late I’ll check back there to morrow. I’m a little concerned about the five post a day rule as I feel I really need the support now leading up to Monday. If it’s okay with everyone, I think I’ll hang out her for the next few days.

sweets, you can hang here. you don't have to post on pc.

:hug:

hi again Roseblue

yes! please dont think I gave the PC link to steer you there instead of here....as curious said there are others here too who can empathize with what you go thru and can offer care and suport:grouphug:

just wanted you to know about PC too as it is a specific DD forum and the main part of the site has lotsa good articles etc too :) plus being our Doc's...we can open the direct connector door for you to scoot between us:D at the bottom of the PC forum pages you will find a link to NT and from here to them too:winky:

Hi Roseblue, :hug:

Another hug from me. I hope you'll hang out here with us. We'll make you laugh here, I know it always improves my mood. :)

I get moody with MS and sometimes I just don't want to talk to anyone. It helps to come here where everybody is accepting and there are so many funny folks to raise my endorphin levels. :D


:hug::hug::hug:

Thanks people. I think I will hang here for a while. I’m going off to check out some more of the board as a distraction for now but hopefully after Monday things will be back on track. Thanks again, your posts a very comforting and reassuring at this time.

Schizoid personality disorder is usually diagnosed when your symptoms become persistent and very disabling. You have to watch out for signs of Schizophrenia or like major depression with psychosis. Alot of times people with it don't like contact with people other than first degree relatives at best. It's rare to see them come into treatment because they feel like a robot inside with no feelings. One doesn't just get the disorder....it develops over time and will essentially change when one gets treatment for it. Be as social as you can, it seems to help with people with this condition get better.

Update - Okay, I'm going to need time to get my head around this. The person I saw today was very nice and after an hour long chat, and the occasional glance at my notes, she told me that she thought I was suffering from a 'schizoaffective disorder' - "The schizoaffective pattern tends to be episodic, with a good prognosis." I've been doing some reading. She is sending a med recommendation to my doctor, I have an appointment to see him on Wednesday, and another one to see her again in two weeks. I’m feeling a lot better for having got that far. I’m usually not good with meds, I’m the on again off again type. But I think I’ll give this new one a chance. I’m just so tired.

Hi Roseblue,

I hope you'll feel better soon! :hug: I have to take a lot of meds for MS, depression and high blood pressure though I've never liked doing so in the past. One of my new mottos is 'better living through chemistry'. :) Good luck and keep us posted!

Okay, let's have a recap. I was diagnosed in 1990 with Schizoid Personality Disorder. Something I could deal with most of the time. On and off meds but I coped. Recently I had been unable to shift a heavy cloud that was looming over my head so I decided to go see my doctor for the first time in a while. She sent me to a psych for a reassessment. The psych now tells me that she thinks I am suffering for a 'schizoaffective disorder'. I'm still reading up on that one but it doesn't seem to be as bad as 'Schizoid Personality Disorder' which is quite reassuring. Being older and not a young, scared twenty something anymore, I'm okay with this. I can deal.

I'm going to leave this thread for now and move on a little from this until I can get my head around it. Thanks again, you lovely people, with everything that is going on with each of you, you still found the time to post some kind words of encouragement for me. Thank you.

I don't have any experience with this disorder, but wanted to comment that I think you are handling the situation well under the circumstances. I agree that going to http://forums.psychcentral.com/postl...Cat=&Board=did is a good idea. You might want to see if anyone has read any books on the disorder that have been helpful. Please be sure to see your therapist regularly and if you are able, to keep your stress levels down as much as you reasonably are able to do so.