Final update on my mom
 

So, they say God works in mysterious ways. Guess what? My mom will not be coming to live with us after all.

My mom, although scared to live on her own just signed for a one bedroom apartment where my grandmother once lived! Social security came through and she will be drawing off my stepdad who passed away two years ago. She is making enough money to cover her Cobra and life insurance, as well as rent. The apartment is an income based apartment through a private owner, with HUD helping.

It's scary for her, but we think she will be happier living on her own. My Aunt Hasteen (how's that for an old name?) lives in the same apartments. So, mom will have plenty of friends and family to help her get groceries and such. Of course if she runs low financially, Jim and I will help her. I've already offered to pay for her phone and cable so we'll see. All utilities other than cable and phone are covered in her rent.

I was excited that she was coming to stay with us but I am even more excited that she can keep all of her stuff and feel independent. That is what is most important.

Thank you to everyone who prayed and sent supporting thoughts our way. That big man (or woman) upstairs does work miracles. I never doubted that, even for a minute. ;)

That is very good news!

Fantastic!! That is great news all around!

Sandy,
 

I was behind on this. But I am so happy that your mom is not losing her independence. This is very important for my mom too. We remodeled a building on our place into a small apartment for my mom. She had to sell her big house. This was much better than even moving into housing. I can really identify with you on this as I know many others can.

There may come a time when she needs to move in with you, but I"m glad that time is still yet in the future for you.

:hug: God does work! It's nice to see that in our lives! :)

hopefully this is just what the doctor ordered for mom, maybe its what she needs, the sense of independence, i can relate with that issue. Looks like chris has yard work that you had planned for mom:rolleyes: (if i got sons name wrong my apology)

That is great news! :hug: for your mom....

Now since you have some room I am happy to send you my mom for a while :wink:

I can only handle one mom at a time, even if she is over 600 miles away! lol

That's great news, Sandy. I know this will help with your Mom's overall mood and outlook on life. Independence is hard to lose...even if it's just a part of it. Hopefully she will adapt well and enjoy her new apartment. She also knows that she has a place to go if she needs it - and that's a comforting thought for anyone. You're a good daughter! :)

I just love it, when God takes over and works things out for the best..:) :hug:

My thoughts exactly!!

maybe gotcha beat, San...

my grandmother's name was Brinabee.

always made me think of pickles in brine, lol !!

glad you got your mom-situation settled.

even though it's a new place, and kinda scary, she'll have her STUFF around her, and that's HUGELY comforting... and friends nearby too...

and (shhhhhhh...) even though you'd've welcomed her into your home with open arms and love abounding, still... I know from experience, that can be a big old stressor on a marriage.

so, I'm very happy for you guys, and hope it all works out well.

:grouphug:

It all worked out!:hug:

Kay, that is so true. I just got off the phone with my older brother who is fit to be tied. Apparently the airline tickets I ordered cannot be cancelled through Expedia without $150 fee! :yikes: I used his credit card. :o

So, my mom is not getting this at all and becoming all drama like about it. I told her to just pay my brother for the ticket which was $142 and be done with it. We honestly don't understand why she can't come up to visit and move into her apartment after she goes home. But she is thinking she'll be rushed. She's like this, has been all her life, very nervous about everything. Oh well, it's not my cc. lol I am still trying to figure out how to pay for all the remodeling I just did on the guest bedroom for her. lol

All in all, no matter what, I am so happy she can be independent. It really is best for her. She will have to do things for herself which I think is great therapy. Right now she is so used to all of us doing everything for her.

Your mom's soon to be new residence will be perfect. The social life is exactly what she will need. She will love when you come to visit. She will show you off. I am happy for you but I am more happy for her. The price of canceling the ticket is a small one considering how it will all turn out.

Glad to hear your Mom is well enough to be on her own, Sandy. Gotta admire her for holding on to her independence and w/family and friends in the same apmt complex, she will have someone close by.

This is wonderful news Sandy. :) It sounds like your Mom has found the ideal living arrangement. I hope she'll be very comfortable there! It sounds like the place my Mom had for several years when she moved back to Illinois from Texas, and she loved it there. :)

I'm glad it worked out for you and your Mom Sandy!

Glad to hear things are well! :)

Wonderful news Sandy. Mom gets her own stuff around her and her independence and you fixed up your guest room, so now you need a visitor!!

Teehee! My mom and I were never really close until the past 10 years. She can be a whipper snapper though and she said she'd rather try on her own first. She said she's too used to things her way.

I honestly do not think she should be alone but we can't force her. She was very sweet today when I voiced my concerns and she asked me very nicely to let her try on her own first. What more can I ask right? I am very proud that she wants to try.

Wanna come over? :D

I'm so glad things are working out for your mom:)! I'm sure you'd feel better if she were staying with you BUT I have a little bit of a suspicion that she would've driven you just a tiny bit nuts 'wink, wink' :D

sandy,

i'm happy to hear this news about your mom.
it does sound like good therapy.

good luck to her.

Great news, Sandy. It appears that it is going to be better for everyone in your family. :hug:

So let me get this straight:
Mom gets to be happy in her own, manageable place
Brother is only carping about a cancel fee (not bad considering the cost of tix these days)
Sandy and Jim have a nice quiet house, all to themselves & with a newly decorated guestroom (for the sleepover GTG?)

Hmmm, it all sounds good to me. I shall now rest and celebrate for everyone (care to join me at the tiki bar?)

in all honesty Sandy-

You are one heck of a "good people" in my book for even considering taking all this on in the first place. And not to mention all you do as a caregiver. {clapping hands}

*getting dressed in our finest caribbean gear*

Party at the Tiki bar!!!!! Anyone who can't walk home can stay in my new guest room! :D

*cue Bob Marley*

Count me in....

ROAD TRIP!!! to the TIKI bar!!! ;D

BFF,

I am so glad that things are calming down with your Mom.:) I know it's been so hard on you. I bet she will do just fine on her own in her new place. She will have her own place and her own stuff and can come and visit you and Jim for vacation.:)

We have to be so careful with our parents sometimes. The more we do for them, the less they will do for themselves. My Mom is that way and it is really worrying my Dad now that he is sick. He is very worried that she won't be able to take care of herself if something happens to him. She will do fine and of course if either of them needed help, my brother and I would do all we could to help them.

Your right Becky. I have noticed that my mom will say certain things about how she can't do this and that. I remind her that she can but will need to find other ways to do it. For example, when she is talking to someone on the phone she will immediately say she can't remember what they said or if she remembered it correctly. I have told her to keep a pad of paper and pen by the phone to write things down. Then she'll say she can't read her writing. lol Then I will say, OK, three way the call to Shannon or put the speaker on so others can hear. She says she forgets to do that.

So, I think being on her own will force her to utilize and relearn ways to do things. It's so easy to not do it when you have others to help. There is nothing wrong with helping her, don't get me wrong. But any voc rehab person will tell you that trying to learn on her own is the best medicine.

Thanks! Hugs and YOU take care of YOU Becky OK? You have a bunch of stress factors on you right now. We don't want anything happening to you OK?

Sandy,

The way you are describing your Mom reminds me so much of mine. She is in much better health than I am and can do so much more. She just talks about how old she is and how she just can't do things anymore. My Dad has taken such good care of her for 60 years that she doesn't know how to do many normal everyday things. She doesn't know how to gas up a car or make a bank deposit. My Dad even takes her to dental appointments.

I've been on Medicare longer than she has and live alone and do everything I can for myself. I need help sometimes and am glad to have it. It just doesn't occur to Mom that just because she is in her 70's, doesn't mean that she can't still do things. She just hasn't had to do anything for herself.

It's really a scary situation. I do believe that your Mom is much more indepent than mine. I can't get a read on her since we found out that Dad is sick. She seems to be in denial and acts like everything is fine while Dad is on oxygen 24/7. She is going to have to start doing things now that Dad is sick. If my brother and I aren't careful, she will let us do everything. I am trying to keep in touch often but not get to the point of doing things for her to make it easier. I do good taking care of my errands and appointments but she wouldn't think twice about asking me to do something for her.

I took care of her for a week in 2003 after she had a heart attack and she didn't seem to think about my health. I waited on her hand and foot and then would come home and just go to bed. I was exhausted. She tested just fine after they put a stint in and opened the clogged heart vein. She didn't have any heart damage because I got over there in time to call 911 and have her rushed to the ER. She stayed in bed for weeks when she could have but up and doing normal things.

Anyway, I understand where you are with your Mom. You have handled it so well.

Love ya,
BFF:)

Thanks Becky! I think that's the hardest part of caring for our parents. Not knowing if they can do some things and wondering if they are actually comfortable letting us do it for them. lol

You take care today and let us know how the appointment goes. Hugs!

Sandy I am so happy for your mom and for you! Great News. I was worried when I first so the thread title.... glad it was good news!

I thought about that after someone posted but it was too late. Sorry about that. :D