1st date since 1994
 

and I am so nervous and excited at the same time. I met a really nice man and don't want to screw up.

good luck how did you meet him?
bizi

Good luck BF! :D

:hug:No no, you just be your own wonderful self and we don't want him to screw up.:hug:

I met him in a bar a couple of weeks ago. We've talked by phone twice since then. Alffe, I still need practicing being myself and not what I became with my ex. Some of the things my ex would tell me still rings in my ear today. Thinks like I'm stupid, nobody wants me, I'm fat, I'm a bother to people and other mean things. If I act like that with this guy that's going to turn him off.

befuddled2

BF - I agree that you should be yourself, and I also understand how hard that can be after many years of verbal assualt. Try to imagine yourself the person you were at your best. We have faith in you...

Missy :Head-Spin:

Dear Befuddled,
I hope you have a good time.
Enjoy yourself.

Mari

Thank you Missy and Mari.

I had to take 2mg of Activan last night cause I was so excited and could not sleep. Today I just feel hung over.

befuddled2

when is your date?
jsut curious.
bizi

Hi Bizi,

My date if for tonight.

Well, I'm just dying to ask!....:o :D

Hi, Befuddled,
We are here if you are ready to share. :D
M.

My date never called when he was suppose to. When he did call and left word on my voicemail he didn't say he was sorry or anything. He just said he was calling me back. I haven't heard from him since and that was Friday. I am so humilated and hurt.

Hugs for Barbara. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Mari

more hugs for Barbara
bobby

That sucks! Better to find out early on than later.
:grouphug: Please dear girl...give church a try, it's a great place to meet new people and most churchs have lots of social activities...shop for one. :hug:

Oh BF, I am so sorry, just when you thought someone was serious too. I know you're hurting now, I wish I could offer more then a cyber hug, but that's all we can do in 2D other then offer our sympathetic ears and shoulders. :hug: I agree with Alffie, better you found out now rather then later though. :(

I am sorry that you are hurting....very dissappointing.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Well, he called twice today and the 2nd time I answered it after talking to my Uncle. My date could not call me when he was suppose to because he was delayed at work. He was called back into work early Saturday morning.

Why am I so insecure that I think the worst? We talked for about an hour Sunday evening. He seems like such a nice person. He's a Viet Nam vet.

befuddled2

Good news!

M

That is good news Barb but remember, in the words of Dr.Phil...*grin,
we teach people how to treat us. And he needs to learn that you have been badly hurt in the past so he'll need to be extra considerate of your feelings. :grouphug: This does not make you a bad person, this is just being honest about your needs. It only takes a min. to call someone.

Hi Alffe,

He did call me Friday eveing a couple of hours late but I did not get his call because I was on the computer. I only have one phone line. I think you have a great idea to let him know he'll have to handle me with care cause of my past. I just don't know how to go about it yet.

befuddled2

Thank you Mari.

(((Barb))) I'm glad he called even tho it was late in coming. I think you need to take "baby steps" here....lot's of time talking about your history, and his history..You need to set up boundaries and let him know what they are. We all have "baggage" in our lives but unless we let people know what we are feeling...they'll have no clue how to help us. :grouphug:

And, remember to have fun! You're young and life is short!

Thank you Alffe,

I talked to him again today. I called him and he was writing checks and told me he'd call me back. When he called back he apologized for taking so long to call back and it wasn't really out of the ordinary long! We talked for a long time and he got an incoming call when on the phone with me. He had just found out his dad has cancer. He apologized again for not wanting to continue to talk after the bad news. He said he was too upset about his dad to talk. He really sounds human. My ex didn't have any real feelings much less manners.

befuddled2

Got another date this weekend. We've already talked once today and he's going to call me back when he gets back from the grocery store.

befuddled2

Thank you Dorrie.

Chris makes me feel so beautiful and good about myself. He called me back tonight after he went grocery shopping. A neighbor of Chris who lost her husband recently beeped in when Chris and I was talking and he got back to me right away and told me who she was. I asked him did he want to go and talk to her. He said heck no, he didn't want to talk to her, he wanted to talk to me. Sometimes I am fine with Chris but other times like that, my old self comes out and I feel like I'm a no body. He's in no hurry to rush things like a lot of men are. Gosh, where was he all my life?

Since he works tomorrow we'll go out tomorrow night and then we have a day trip planned for the 4th like to the mountains. We even have plans for Saturday.

Sounds good Barbara!!! You seem happy and that is so great!! Hang in there Barbara when it comes to falling back into your old ways. Keep reminding yourself that you ARE a somebody...deserving of love and attention...you are beautiful and very very special. I think Chris is a very lucky man to be dating such a kind caring wonderful lady!!!! Be determined Barbara to be a strong self confident woman...hold your head high Sweetie...you deserve the BEST!!!!!!

I hope you have fun filled dates with Chris that will have you heading to your computer to tell us all about it.
LOTS OF:hug::hug::hug::hug:HUGS FOR YOU BARBARA!!!!

Thank you Dorrie.

befuddled2

So happy to hear of some joy in your life.
bizi:hug:

Thanks. Chris will be here in 1 1/2 hour to take me out to eat. I've been ready an hour ago. I don't know what to do but sit here and wait. Maybe I'll watch the news.

befuddled2

Chris and I had a nice dinner out. He opened doors for me. We came back to my house as he gets up at 3:30 a.m. for work so there was little else to do. He was the perfect gentleman. He massaged my shoulders for a few seconds while I was showing him pictures on the computer. We kissed when I got up from my seat and it was so nice. He smelled so good. That was it, we just kissed. He apologized for not being himself but his mind is heavy with his dad dying. Chris is going to call me in the morning. We both have been asked out to the shore.

Chris is a Vietnam vet and we were talking about PTSD and he said when he landed in CA from the war he was spit on and called baby killer. Him and I can relate with certain things like abuse. He held my hand when I was sad tonight. We had a good time listening to music in his truck.

befuddled2

he sounds charming....have a great day tomorrow!
bizi

Thank you Dorrie and Bizi.

Chris' oldest brother is coming into town today to discuss with Chris and the family their dad's business. Their dad has terminal cancer. I wonder why I alway fall for people dealing with cancer. It's going to be tough watching Chris go through this but tougher not to be with Chris. Chris has not been the same since he found out Monday his dad is terminal. Chris said he'd try to call me tonight.

befuddled2

Dear Befuddled,
I'm enjoying reading your story.
I'm most happy that you have good news and good vibes all over you right now.
M.

My date with Chris went really well Thursday. Friday we got together again and today I met his parents. It all seemed fine and dandy at 1st to be going so fast but this is making my head spin tonight. I'm not sure if I'm ready for a serious relationship even though I think the world of him and he is a true sweety pie. Somehow being alone seems safer emotional to me and I know that sounds crazy but I've just been so let down by family and friends that alone got comfortable for me. Alone got to feel normal to me and having someone does not seem normal.