"headline news" (filling in for bot)
 

(newsbot will be auditioning for the new "Transformer" movie. It has asked me to fill in for him in the mean time...)

(ahem...clearing throat...)

This is "Moi Prather BrokeCough Blooper" And this, is NT headline news:

DM has started selling new SUV's to protest gas increase. More is more, she claims. She has changed her name to, "GM" (Girly Motors)

SandyC was actually dating Elvis before she met Jim, and when she left Elvis, that's when "Don't be cruel" was written. Thus the "C" in Sandy's moniker.

Kicker Sat then laid down.

AMN just woke up

Chemar is now Chejune, but in a couple of days, she'll be Chejuly. She's missed a few months inbetween...

shelley has become a vegetarian and is changing her name to celery

Doc J has decided to sell foot products and has merged with Doctor Scholl.
They are now called Doc Jschmall. They are now doctors of POD and are GELLING...

weegot5kids is now weegot24kids

alpho has a new dog and decided on her new name, kibbles and bits.

Abasaki found a new drink, she is now, Abacognac

curious, now, Queen Kong, is now the largest multi-tasking primate known to men...and women...and simians

AvAtergirl traveled to the cannibalistic tribe where she saw the natives had an all you can eat feast on the missionaries. She has decided that she will become AvAteRvegetables. She claims that it was an "out of 'body'" experience when they asked her if she'd like a lady's finger...

soxmom sold one of her kids to go to the cubs game with Frank. Then she had to sell another one just to afford the hotdog and the beer.

addendum: CoolAngel26 decides to have breakfast for dinner for the second night this week!! She'll be having Porkchops and apple sauce and some DEVIL food cake for breakfast

but the most important headline news of all of the day, is that:

NEWSBOT HAS ACCEPTED MOI AS HIS FRIEND!! (ok, and also doody, kicker, and Abbie, but I am still his bff)

now, a word from our sponsor:

our sponsor

ROTFLMAO!!! I love it! Great job Moi!

ahhh, as we rednecks would'm say in them here woods...

ah thank you, and ah hank you...

and since I've only have 24 hours to edit, I've added coolangels headline to the ummmm head line...LOL

have no fear folks, I will do my duty and search all over the internet to bring you the latest gossip, I mean, news...I will NOT fail BOT!!!

Autobot, transform!! grr goo gaa brr gee gee(that weird transforming noise in the background)

btw, I found our bot warming up before its audition:

our bot warming up before his audition

:icon_arrow::icon_arrow: BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!:icon_arrow::icon_arrow:

This is chejune reporting live that we have a moi instigated laugh attack happening all over NT

:Head-Spin::ROTFLMAO::Head-Spin::ROTFLMAO::Head-Spin::ROTFLMAO::Head-Spin:

meanwhile back at the lab, Queen Kong is cloning away......
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i1...QueenKong5.jpg

oh my what's left to do except end this edition of NT news with a :Thanx:


:highfive:

:BeamUp:

King Kong must be very happy.

Will Bot get the job?....stay tuned for updates.

CoolAngel decides to reclaim her angelic status,,(why did who moi of all people accuse me of eating devil cake for breakfast??It was an angel food cake,okay!!?!?!? :D:D)

Hey-bot,what's the verdict on your job...

Sorry for sarcasm-been in a two day flare...caused by playing Superwoman on Friday!! :eek::cool:

hi again, this is your headline news reporter, "Sandfordandson Blooper" and this is, Sandfordandson Blooper 360.

we would like to thank our field reporter, Chejune for bringing our attention of the cloning of queen kong. Apparently, there is a Ms. Queen Kong contest with our very own, curious/queen kong representing NT.

strutting in her hot pink thong, our queen kong is known for her ability to multi-task, making funny posts, sending postcards, moderating forums, baking goods, training folks, but most important of all, cloning herself. Her clone will be representing curious as curious stay busy with the forums

here is a shot of our queen kong clone in her pink thong

http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/n...nKong5copy.jpg

her competitors will be, Ms. Hong Kong, who has no abilities
http://songseek.com/picturenet/photo...bikini_ape.jpg


and Ms. Donkey Kong, known to video gamers world wide
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1205/...666837.jpg?v=0


our very best wishes to our Queen Kong, may the best monkey...I mean...ummm...uhhh...ape...I mean....uhhh...ummmm...primate win.

thanks once again to our field reporter, Chejune, who is NEVER jejune

More news to come...

Oh NO! A bloodless coup!

At least I hope it was bloodless! :confused:

Moi and The Bot fight it out for headlines supremacy!

Will Moi be the new leader?

Will The Bot squash Moi's attempts at leadership and regain his crown?

Stay tuned for an update after Queen Kong puts what's left of Moi, back on the ground!

Hi, This is Fancy Graceless, reporting for headline news, filling in for bot:

our top story of the hour involves our very own bot in a scandalous affair with one of our NT members.

NT headline news have obtained a photo below of the two plotting behind DM's back:

http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/n...opandother.jpg

It all began as an innocent order for banana hammocks...but now, the motor oil has been tainted...

and this just in, NT HN have obtained a photo of coolangels cake for breakfast binge. Note that the cake is "Devil's Food"

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w...n/IMG_3496.jpg

this reporter can only shake its head in disbelief...

now, a word from our sponsor for the day: "DH Rules The World"

the woman

DH rules the world

Our newest Field reporter, Koala77, ladies and gentlemen. This just in:

what one should do when running into koala 77

(moi picking himself up after being squashed by queen kong and koala)

Red Alert!!
 

This is Filled O'Righty, with Botched News.

This is a RED ALERT, to all our male members.

It turns out that SandyC aka SandyCruel has threatened to send out MASS PMS all over NT and AMN has been screaming her CAPS off.
(the threats are posted in a few threads below this one)

If any male members of this forum wants to survive WWIII, please remember to step out of their ways.

once again, this is Filled O'Righty, with Botched News. And we, are looking out for ewe...while the Spit stops right here...

Who Moi and News Bot fight it out.

Who will win? It's anyone's guess right now as they're still evenly matched!

NT members waiting impatiently in The Stumble Inn for more news!

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread48942.html

Liquorama.....where are you when we need you? :confused:

LMAO!!! That is too funny. Thanks for the laughs and smiles.

that was great Moi, i laughed so hard the laptop was moving, and deb was yelling cause she could not read the laptop, that was really good

Deb wants to know when the next edition will be avaiable

Wow!!! The competition in the Queen Kong contesy is fierce. Best of luck to our own Queen Kong.

[QUOTE=Koala77;312147]Oh NO! A bloodless coup!

At least I hope it was bloodless! :confused:



The Bot squash Moi's attempts at leadership and regain his crown?
***************

Silly Koala,
Only Moi has blood, Bot has oil. How bloody could it get?

our very best wishes to our Queen Kong, may the best monkey...I mean...ummm...uhhh...ape...I mean....uhhh...ummmm...primate win.

****
Very PC.

this is bawbwa wawa (here's a tribute to you, Gilda)
and this, is the latest NT Headline News:

arrcyn was on trial for lead poisning but then acquitted.

after the trial she confessed that it was arrcynic poisoning but she is spared a second trial because of double leprosy

twinkietoe's DH wore canary puppet toe warmers to sleep one night and twinkie woke up in the middle of the night craving http://www.boingboing.net/images/twinkies.jpg and now she and her DH are both in the surgery room getting prepped. Her DH is hoping to get his toes reattached and but only after the surgeon removes them from twinkietoe's ummm...gastric area (keeping it PC for kicker).

Taffy Laffed all the way to the candy store but was mistaken by the store owner as a renegade candy. She is now on display next to "Now & Later" for $0.25

Our newest reporter, kicker, who is very politically incorrect, will be donating her blood at the first annual motor oil drive.

now, a word from our sponsor:

this should perk you up...:winky:

(this is a transcript of Barry Clean Live)

Sponsored by: Booger King. Have It Your Way and ALL you can PICK!

also sponsored by: Maxi, now with WINGS! Get your maxis before they FLY off the shelves. BYON (Bring your own net)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BC: Good Evening, this is Barry Clean Live. Tonight, our guests will be:
weakafter24kids, tkrik, and LLalaok.

K77: Ummmm, Barry, that's Koala77...

BC: Oh? Oh...sorry about that. My assistant reads backwards and upside down.

K77: That's OK, docious-ali-expi-listic-fragi-cali-repus, Flary.

BC: That's Barry...

K77: :D

BC: So, let's go with our first interviewer, tkrik, who was a member of Star Trekk Enterprise. Did you used to go by another name? Tkrik?

TK: Yes, Mary, (BC: ummm, Barry) OK, Gary...I was on the Enterprise with Cap'n Kirk and I used to go by the name: Pawket Pro TechtOr.

BC: "Pawket...Pro...techt...or..." wow,what a name. Where did it originated from?

TK: well, I hung out with a lot of very smart people in high school. And we used to wear those things in our front pawket...

K77: If you say it fast enough it's something quite atrocious...

BC: Fast enough..."Pawket pro..techt..or...Pawket protecht...or..."

weakafter32kids: Did you get it, Jerry? (BC: Barry....)

BC: Pawket Protechtor!!! Got it!!

(eyerolls from K77, Tkrik, and weakafter38kids)

All: fantasticalalistic, Harry! (BC: BARRY!!!)

BC: Oh well, K77, how does it feel to be a marsupial?

K77: It feels great, I never forget my kids or my money or my makeup kit. And when I go to the stores, I don't ever have to worry about: would you like "paper, or plastic".

BC: that sounds wonderful, where can I get one of those pawkets?

TK: I can answer that, Hairy. They are "Maiden Chopin".

BC: Maiden... Chopin??

weakafter45kids: If you say it loud enough it's something quite a bogus...

BC: MAIDEN CHOPIN??

K77: Actually, they were Maiden Cha nah

BC: I am a bit confused...

All: Yes, we know, Larry(BC:...that's Bar...wait....Larry sounds kinda familiar[scratching head])

BC: Alright, let's get to you, weakafter...holy, you are multiplying there, aren't you?

weakafter169kids: (panting)...yeah, Sherry, hurry up with the interview, will ya??

BC: Yes, weak, I mean, Frank...how did you get to this state? How did you get Deb to marry you?

weakafter240kids: ...well...Flurry, you see, I got to this state by airplane. It was a 125 for one special...I got Deb to marry me because I serenaded a very special song to her...

BC: Yeah? What did you sing? Would you sing it for me?

weakaftercountlesskids: yes...here goes: my serenade to Deb

this is moi...well...no, really...this is moi...

I just wanted to say thank you all very much for even bother reading my odd thoughts.

And to even find it funny...LOL...

and to all the funny contributors, thank you!

Before I start to get on anybody's nerves. I am going to retire from this thread myself. It's been fun but I think I've done all I could with the bot story.

Thanks to whomever that added moi and kicker and abbie and doody to bot's friend's list. That made my day...

Still, it was fun while it lasted...you folks are just great...thanks for all the fun, to all the field reporters, to all the forum termites that I've teased(but with respect. LOL), and to all the girls I loved before...wait, wrong post....

((((to all))))

http://butlersheetmetal.com/tinbashe...es/newsman.jpg

[QUOTE=who moi;313108]this is moi...well...no, really...this is moi...

This just in, and explains our newscaster's need to leave NOW. Who Moi has been arrested for Identity Theft. He had the police saying "Who??"

He is currently on the lam, reportedly in Mexico.

Good morning everyone. I am Chejuly with this breaking NT news headline

Our field reporter Johnny5 is live in Texas (that's Queen Kong territory for those just joining this newscast) after reports that a dancing koala has been apprehended while trying to cross the border in a vehicle laden with spanish moss, from which strange muffled sounds are emerging.

It is believed that an elaborate kidnap scheme has been foiled and we hope to have our beloved Anchor Moi back soon.
All donations to help pay any ransom should be coated in choccy and sent to moi ......errrr I mean me :smirk:

And now we take you live to the scene.........

http://www.johnny-five.com/simplenet...sc/Johnny5.jpg
http://www.lakelandgov.net/library/s...C7DAD90232.jpg




:Talkative:

this has been breaking news brought to you by Chejuly


:BeamUp:

You scooped me on that one (said reluctantly)

:Demonstration: gasp! breaking news! breaking news!:Demonstration:

Chejuly here with a breaking news update!:Talkative:


protesters have gathered all around the NT News studios chanting:

"WHO do we want?
We Want Moi!
WHO do we want?
We want MOI!"

more live scenes of the groups outside the studio calling for WHO? MOI!

:You-Rock::Funny-Post::Thanx:




:Talkative:
we are waiting to hear from Johnny5 on the scene of the Spanish Moss filled car and Koala kidnap mystery, but he is having a Short Circuit at present and will report in ALIVE as soon as powers up after the Disassemble
:Talkative:
http://content.ytmnd.com/content/9/4...53ac180be4.jpg



Chejuly signing off from the Florida swamps :Melting 2:

ps I will leave the future koala scoops to my colleague kicker-roo:D


meanwhile the protests for the Return of Moi continue...........
:Demonstration::You-Rock::Funny-Post:

Chejuly over & out
:Wheel:

Ride 'em Cowbot! That's some tumbleweed there, Botaroo.

Just how heavy was that moss that so cleverly covered K77 who was hiding in the trunk of that ole jalopy?

Come on! Own up! Who squashed K77?

Was this an attempt by CheJune (disguised as CheJuly)to foil Moi's only chance at leadership?
http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/l...88/3dkoala.jpg

Good Job K77! Sounds like a conspiracy to me. Please keep us informed.

Breaking News!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




:eek:

it's a CORNspiracy

:eek:


The ransom note just received!!!!!!
http://lh4.ggpht.com/almasattic/SGt0...nsomSmall.jpg"

help us free Moi !!!!
http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/a...nyhostages.jpg

:D

bumping for Lara....:D :hug:

I got the RANSOM.....we gotta save MOI!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA
Come on ladies, you gotta pitch in....PLLLLEEAAASSEEEEEEE!!!!!!!