Why I Stopped Posting!
 

I did not recover, am sure I never will....I stay in pain 24/7, but it seems very little is posted and I Need support in the worst way, just can't seem to fit in anywhere, I live in constant pain, have very little support system IRL, am as depressed as anyone can be, must share the same problems as at least 50% or more here but have never felt wanted or welcome...it seems when I post to a thread, that thread fades away and I don't know why?? I hung on for the first year and then gave up and closed out the browser, checking back every few months, saw no change, never felt missed, so I feel like the invisible person, online and IRL! Am I the only one that feels this way? I need people to share with the daily struggles of life, not games, and I don't know where to post, the depression threads are mainly in bipolar section so I don't know if its ok to post there, I don't know where I fit in and many times over the long months I have been at the edge of the cliff but am even afraid to come here since I can't take anymore rejections! I can't put on a fake happy face because then it would be a lie.
I have so many problems that I fit in everywhere and nowhere if that makes any sense! It is not just this forum, many is worse, too many politics, fighting, I just don't know where to go from here and yes, I have a Pro. counsular I see when at that cliff! Maybe I just don't belong anywhere!
Just had to get that off of my chest.

:hug: junie, i'm sorry the chronic pain forum here just isn't that busy. it takes time to build a forum. if each person keeps closing their browser to the chronic pain forum..it will never build.

you are very welcome to post anywhere. you will find that all the forums here are very welcoming, some just busier than others.

Don't feel that way.
 

Hi Junie,

I have also felt that way on many occassions in fact a great person of wisdom was I quess scared away by a forum.

But those of us who live with chronic pain most people don't understand. I have found luck with my family because I was just so opposite than after my accident. So I do get support but life is very, very, boring.

You can alway's PRivate Message me and I will always answer as long as I get the post.

Keep the faith.

AnnBon

:hug: hi ann

i am also a chronic pain sufferer. i just don't post much about myself or my health issues. i guess i get to busy around here doing other things.

but see? we already have 3 of us here today. i bet if we keep posting the next few weeks, more will follow.

Thanks for the replies and concern but in my defense I waited a year before closing my browser:)

i know for me junie, my pain is always there and i don't like talking about it. blech..makes more it real. no excape. does that make sense?

my family doesn't understand. i don't really expect them to. they aren't in my body, so they cant feel what i feel.

i did misunderstand about closing your browser. i'm sorry. :hug:

Well it is great that people here have others to talk about it with, and maybe I would feel the same if I had a support system at home...but I have no one! I have one son that tells me I look like the letter C and the rest just say I fake...guess thats why Dr gives me 300mg of long acting ms and 30mg of fast acting daily, and the valium is so I can pee, otherwise it is self cathing. Maybe one day I will find a place with people like me that has no one.

Are you on any antidepressants to help you stay away from those cliffs?

We have a Depression forum here -
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum37.html
and
General Mental Health & Emotional Support
For all general mental health or emotional support issues.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum85.html

Or even some of the other forums -
Sanctuary -This "Sanctuary" is a place for people of all spiritual beliefs and faiths to offer support and compassion to each other in the form of prayers, meditation, and expressions of spirituality. This forum is for support, not religious debate.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum27.html

Well HELLO there Junie!!!! I am very pleased to meet you!!
I may not suffer from chronic pain but I see that we do have something in common!!!! We are both diabetic!!!
The diabetic forum here at Neurotalk was so slow a while back and I felt very alone...I was also on the alcoholism forum and it was really quiet as well. They have both picked up now and I LOVE it!!!
Please drop into the diabetic forum Junie!! There are several members that are WONDERFUL !! I know they would be pleased to have you around!!! Hope to see you soon!!!!!:hug:

Thanks everyone, but I no longer have tle with diabetes, my labs last month (and last 2 years) have been normal because I never want to eat...and as far as anti depression meds, tried them all am now I am super sensitive to just about all meds so I take as little as possible. I know I mainly need just pure and simple human contact but I don't know where I would fit in anymore??
Maybe if there was a forum for misfits??

[I am super sensitive to just about all meds so I take as little as possible]

Have you ever tried homeopathy or alternative treatments?
acupuncture, hypnosis, things along those lines?

I can't afford any treatments anymore...my insurance was changed again a year ago and now its 20% and we can't take anymore hits...MRI= 120.00. My husband just had 2nd bypass surgery in April, I have not been able to work since 2000 and have been waiting on disability and last letter said maybe another 18-24 more months before hearing so I am over anymore treatments. If I had stayed away from Dr's I would not be where I am today! I trust none of them!

Thanks Dorrie, I just don't want to go to an area am seem like I am all better and make others feel bad. I just want to find others like me that living with daily pain has made a trainwreck of their lives and see hoe they got through it??

Hi, Junie...

We've never talked before, but I had to reply to a post like this. I may be wrong, but I really believe I have a good idea of what you feel like inside lately. I'm about to join you in being alone, as soon as my wife succeeds in forcing me out of the house. I have my mother and father as well as five siblings, but I can never tell which of them even believe me and which think that all I need is a change of perspective to make me happy and cheery. They can't imagine being in pain 24/7 for the past six years.

I've lost most of my best friends because they felt uncomfortable being around me. They just can't accept me as just a person any longer. Right now I have a very important appointment to see a specialist in Charlottesville, a small city about eighty miles from where I live. We had a family cook-out for the 4th, and I asked everyone if they could find a way to help me out in getting there, but not one of them would commit themselves.

And yes, I have to admit that there have been times when I thought that as a member of this site, I have been largely ignored for long periods of time. The only thing that keeps me going then is that I have made a few pretty good friends here, and I can PM them when no one else seems interested in my problems.

To tell the truth, probably my greatest contribution here is as a listener who cares about what I hear. It really hurts me that you have felt so ignored, and that we have failed you. I never would have let that happen if I realized what you were feeling. There are times when people feel reluctant to answer posts when they don't understand what it's really about, or where it's going, but I'm not afraid of those things. And I know that there are others here who feel the same way.

I truly hope that you reconsider your decision to close down your browser on this site. I have always believed that the best thing we can all do for each other is offer our support, because we understand things which healthy family and friends could never understand. Just one simple word here can convey more meaning than an hour of talking at home sometimes. I'm glad you posted this thread though, because it makes me realize that I haven't been listening close enough to other people here, and I'm definitely going to try to change that fact. If you EVER feel like you need to talk or just get something off your chest, I am here every day or two most of the time, and you are definitely welcome to PM me or simply start a thread that I might see. I mostly hang around on the Social Forum, the CP Forum, the Fibro Forum, and the depression forum.

Anyway, I'm sorry we let you down, and I hope that you will forgive us all and give us another chance. I will be looking out for your posts in the future, and I hope that they are there. Good luck and best wishes to you, Junie. I hope to see you again soon. :)

Idealist

thank you,
you made me cry. i just needed to hear the words, i understand, not get more pills, see more drs, play games, be happy, just be heard and i know you did. i also know everyone did their best to help and i am grateful, but i also know you heard what i said on another level, because you have walked in my shoes, no doubt they are slide on flip flops.

Junie, you are most welcome here. I once thought I was a thread killer, every time I posted the thread died. lol

Have you tried to post to the ms forum or other neuro threads? I know you don't have ms or maybe not the others but they all understand chronic pain. My husband has been living with chronic pain for years. He is currently on methadone and it helps greatly. He also take Zoloft for depression.

Please come back and dabble in various forums even though you've had problems before. Many of us joined here less than a year ago and are new here from another site. Hugs!

Hi Junie,
Looks to me like there a few of us here now...if we continue to chat, others may join in and stay. We have to stay to build it. I only check in once or twice a week, so don't be offended if I'm not here every day. I work 6 days a week :rolleyes:

I've suffered from chronic low back pain for many years now...sometimes it gets a bit better (like right now) and other times I'm in tears. Its a bad place to be, and can be depressing. Forum support, friendship and sharing experience is important. Fighting is really not worth our time or energy and I see very little of that here at NT world.

Glad you came back! Stay and visit...I'll try and be here so you don't feel so alone :hug:

<----------Thread Killer here too!! LMAO!!

btw....i'm short on time...so a quick hit of the thank you button to let you know i read....

:grouphug:

I am truly grateful for everyone that has said anything, helpful or not, and I have so many problems I would be all over the map if I tried to post in right forum and I ave been to forums that if I posted in MS forum I would no doubt be banned! I have been afraid of stepping on anyones toes so I have just slunk away! I do seem to have similar problems as MS .....Paralysis of B&B, chronic pain, depression, scattered and random neuropathy, graduated to catheters recently....I could go on and on but right now what is breaking my heart is lack of human contact and the only thing that has kept me off the edge of cliff is my faithful canine companion! When I got home from my trip I cried like a baby when she threw her 10 lb body on me and I know she is only one that loves me no matter what and I will never leave her again, even if it means staying home! I don't care what anyone thinks, animals are the best treatment out there for any disease! I feel sorry for people that deprive themselves of that pure love! When I cry she licks away my tears, when my back is breaking she rolls herself up in a ball next to my back and her body heat makes it hurt less! She senses my needs better then any human could ever do, and sometimes I forget that. The 10 days I was away from her was pure hell and she punished me for a few days so I guess I just snapped! I also found out you can get a RX for a pet so your landlord can't keep you from having one!

Well, I don't know about everyone else but I surely wouldn't try to ban you off the ms board. There are many members who are in limbo, probable ms, etc. and they post. I think most people, many here, are above banning any member. Shoot they haven't banned me yet and I aint' got nuthin'! Ok, maybe I have a little something, naw, nuthin' compared to what you all go through. :D :hug:

Hi!
 

OK, I am not a doctor but *some* depressions will only get better with Bipolar meds, such as Lithium. Just a suggestion for your doctor, ok? I had to go on Lithium to get better from depression, and some forms of depression are really Bipolar. I'm not at all suggesting you have this, just throwing out some new ideas. Also, if you're a misfit, then everyone is, including me. Going to buy food is a real "party." I finally get it in the cart and go to the checkout. THEN, it takes me forever to get it out of the cart! UGH! Very few people care. They get so mad at me, throw me looks, and then start asking me hurry up! DUH! If I COULD, I WOULD! The hands refuse to do it. Maybe I should tell them to talk to the hands? I would, but by then I'm so angry back at them, that I just give them the evil eye. Oh yeah! Then trying to get the bags in the house? HA! It takes forever and I just LOVE the way the neighbors stare at me like I'm a lazy loser. UGH! Anyway, I DO understand how you feel. :)

Junie, sorry I took so long to chime in...Sandy is right...I don't have MS and yet those MSers welcome me with open arms to their forum...I hope you don't give up on all of us...me personally would like to get to know you better. We have a lot in common, pain and all!!
http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/j...ssingteddy.gif

Junie I'm so happy "you didn't jump off the cliff"
 

Junie,: I have suffered from the stares, parking in a Handicapped Spots; I hang my placard on the mirror & some of them, I show them 4'' scars on both sides of my throat I have had 5 major Spinal Surgery's. 1. I had 4 in one month; June-July 14th my Birthday, I was crowned with a halo for 4 months. In Feb. 2008 I had my latest-They fused Cervical 3 thru 7. Some days i take Dilaudid 4mg. 4 times a day. I feel so GUILTY. I'm sorry but I have no guilt.
Got my diabetes under control-with meds. Other than this damndable pain. I have taken Amphetamines for 54 yrs., which actually helps me more than 40mg. of Prozac a day. Very few pain specialist have ever heard of Adderall 30mg.@ least 5 a day.I took a drug holiday, not long ago(from adderall) My BP went from 130/74...to205/105. So I started taking 2 an hour & 1 Dilaudid 4mg.
Lo& behold it went back to normal. I don't know if it will work for you with Chronic Pain, I will say a prayer for you June Bug, to find some relief. (STAY AWAY FROM THAT CLIFF)..................Respectfully Yours, Mack Doss

Hi Junie,

Your post sounded like you were at a really dark and frustrated place. I hope that even though your medical issues and pain cannot have improved, that you are finding support here and feeling stronger emotionally.

As you can tell from this thread, there are people who care here. Even though we all have different diagnoses and different levels of pain or disability, we are united in coming here because we are looking for connection with others who can understand what we are going through

God Bless You :hug:

Hi Junie!

We havent met, because I usually post on almost every other forum LOL. I want you to know you are not alone in the world of pain. I stopped working in July 2001, but should have stopped in 2000. I just couldnt let go of the best job in the world.

The pain stops me cold all the time, and sometimes makes me break activities that were planned. Most of my friends and work associates are now just memories. No one understood how I could go from working circles around most people to just a lump in the bed. Life just plain sucked, and it felt like it was over.

The first few years all I wanted to do was talk about my pain because that is all that I could think of. PAIN 24/7.... how do you not want to talk it out. My family at first tried to understand, but soon were avoiding me, or getting short with me because I was a real bummer to be around.

This is when these forums really began to help me. I could come here and scream and cry...really vent and everyone understood. Sure my posts wouldnt get alot of action and would drop off the page. I didnt care if anyone listened or not because I was just getting things out of my system. I soon made friends, and then even more friends.

One thing I started doing was finding topics that were close to what I wanted to talk about, and post up in there. Soon I was getting comfortable, and also caring for the others posting because they werent all that different than me. Now I may not start a new topic for months, but get just as much satisfaction in posting in other threads.

One day I decided to try a new approach with my family. I was going to try and take an interest in what they were doing, their pains, joys, their plans, just about anything they were doing, and leaving my problems out of it. If I needed to complain, or needed someone to understand, or just be with people that wouldnt put me down I came here.

Soon my family quit running soon as they seen me, and even began to come around about my pain. They would actually ask me how I was feeling, and even took interest in what the doctors were doing with me. This improved my attitude tremendously, and I didnt seem so down as much. It didnt take away the pain, nor did it change how they perceived my pain, it just made it easier for them to talk with me, and sometimes even understand what I was going through because they didnt think I was pressuring them to understand or care.

As time passed and I made even more friends on the forum, posts and topics came easier, and more people would chime in because they were truly interested in what was going on with me as much as I was interested in what was going on with them.

Life still isnt a bowl of cherries, and I still can run off the most caring of person sometimes, but the lows dont hold me down as long as they used to.

I sure hope everything starts smoothing out for you, and truly hope your pain gives you a break here and there. :hug:

Hi Junie
 

Are you OK this morning? I just read the thread. I don't come here to often,but I want you to know that I care. I'm sorry that we didn't see you before. Please keep posting. I too have pain,and I know that it is hard to deal with. I hope that you are OK. Brokenfriend