My Singles Ad
 

Well as my divorce papers came today...no hubby and I are not getting back together. I was thinking of my new singles ad........

SWF, Divorced...twice, two kids, one dog
Body type- ummm have you heard of Goodyear?
Hobbies-running over people with my scooter at Walmart. And due to tremors I always take my drinks shaken not stirred.
Personal traits, overly fatigued due to above mentioned two kids, one dog and oh Multiple Sclerosis, sometimes can't walk unassisted, sometimes pee my pants.
BIG BOOBS and I never wear a bra since it causes me to have spasms.
If I do agree to put out be prepared for at least 15 minutes of spasms after that......Hmmmm have I forgotten anything? LOL

Well, I'm happy and sad for you at the same time. :):(:):(

But I LUVVVVVvvvvvvv your singles ad. :circlelove:

Love the ad...
 

Renee (such a pretty name, I have an older sister named Renee) I just love your ad...sounds like we could be the same person (other than the fact that I am not divorced and love my husband), but if I was divorced I could copy your ad and place it also.

Personally my favorite is the part of BIG BOOBS and not wearing a bra. I thought I was the only one with the spasms part there. So my bra only goes on when I am out and then I know what to expect, so I wish I had SMALL BOOBS, so I could constantly go without. But then what fun would MS have if that was the case. It loves to make life as hard as possible.

Sorry to hear about your divorce. Remember love yourself and those around you will love you also.

Missy

Still laughing at the hairy chicken quote!

You forgot to mention that the spasms after putting out could be to his advantage!


Oh and you cook real good. lol

Great ad!!

BIG BOOBS and spasms is all you have to put in the ad because most guys will not be able to read anything more. :rolleyes:

In my case:

Barely "B" and spasms just won't grab attention.

I'd have to lie and say I own a brewery and a golf course!! :cool:

But seriously NaeNae... :o You have a lot to offer. You'll just need to get yourself centered after dealing with your ex. :hug::hug:

Great job but you forgot loyal and caring and kind.:) oh yeah and
FIESTY.:)

Im sure the right dude will come along when you are ready. blessings to
you and yours.:hug:

How about:


Twice divorced SWF with two loving children and one dog.

Voluptuous, more to love.

Loves to scoot around and travel, shop and knows how to shake things up.

Busy and tiring schedule. Would love to to have a shoulder to lean on and be *pampered.

Not afraid to let it all hang out. (Did I mention that I'm voluptuous?)

Renee, no matter how you write it, I hope that the future brings you someone special. :)

you almost killed me i coughed laughed than choked, but you made me smile

Like someone else mentioned, dont sell yourself short, you are a wonderful mother, good friend, and as this post will attest to, you have a good sense of humor, and you are smart, and from what you have just gone through we all know of your dedication, devotion and willingness to give it your all, you are a wonderful person Renee:lookaround:... you are the MOJOLITO QUEEN:Bow:

:Thats-Funneh: :yahoo::Bow: :Tip-Hat::ROTFLMAO::Head-Spin::winner_first_h4h: :Good-Luck:

You forgot turn-ons and turn-offs! May I suggest:

Turn-ons:
Afternoon Delight (I nap, you watch the kids)
Rolls in the Hay (you push my chair at the cider mill)
Sex On The Beach (please bring it in a plastic tumbler with straw & lid)

Turn-offs:
Long walks on the beach
Cutting my own meat
Short toilets

LOL Cindy's just about hit the nail on the head!

You sound like a catch to me Nae Nae!! I wouldn't wanna be up against you in the dating game. I believe my tummy now sticks out further than my boobs and I pee my pants ALL the time! And sometimes don't even know it! LOL :D

Loved that ad!!!! Now, tell us your bad points!!

Your'e a catch, Nae~ You just don't know it.

I think BG said it quite well.. Still LMOA!!!

love it..hehehehe hey you are wonderful sweety...

I think just the BIG BOOBS..part might grab some men...they might not read anything else hehehe hugss,sarah

Hey Girl thanks for the strength and the sense of humor....

That my girl is a beautiful thing:hug:

And you are a beautiful person inside and out..


pete

Thanks guys...I decided depressed anxiety ridden and frequent crying jags should probably just be left out DM!

oh Nae Nae...
hehehehe good to giggle thru it...hugssssss
lets see what else can we put in your ad???? hmmm thinking..here...hugss,sarah

Clean shaven? Boys get ur minds outta the gutter I meant legs here!

Although we were talking awhile back about that hot pink hair care for the downstairs LOL

Lets see....great cook...good taste in wines......generous......loving......all of the above subject to change during PMS! LOL

During periods of intense tremors can double as a human seismograph........

Done so many roids Jose Canseco is writing a tell all book about me.......

any dimples?

you don't have to say where.

:p my husband always said he loved my dimples at first sight. who knew years later i would have more of them for him to love. :eek: :p :wink:

I'll attest to the good taste in wines!

Tom

LOL Curious, the dimples I have would be best not viewed upon first impression!!!

Yeah, Tom can verify my taste in wine I forgot...whew at least some solid evidence!

OH, and she produced some pretty babies. *check Nae's avvy*

Dimples??? I thought they were supposed to be on the thighs!! Great, there goes another myth shot to HE77!!!

Yes I must say I produced two of the cutest kids ever LOL but then I am prejudiced. I've got so many dimples people call me SpongeBob LOL!

I'm a little late getting on here...I met my Olhipie on a singles website!:hug:

I think it asked for what body type...I put plenty of me to love!!:eek:

Renee, I can attest to your unique eye for gift giving. I am still in love with my German kitchen utensil/pie cutter/cheese spatula/cake cutter/Tinkerbell spanker! lmao