Here I sit crying.
 

Oh dear God I don't know how much longer I can do this. He told me I was stupid this morning. Yesterday he cursed at me. This is on the way to school. His stomach is worse. I spent two days on the phone talking to the doctor's offices. This morning after dropping him off the GI's nurse specialist calls me and tells me that my insurance will not pay for the Prevacid. Not until he tries their choices first. I begin to cry, his primary is out until Monday, GI until next Thursday. I tell her, I am making him go to school like this. He is miserable. She says if it is that bad then take him to ER.

So I get things ready for a long sit in ER. Little one is prepared. We pick him up and I don't tell him until he realizes we have passed the turning point. He does not want to go and sit and wait. I tell him we have to, he needs to. He becomes angry and I tell him I am tired of him telling me I am not doing enough to help him. If he wants to be treated like an adult then he needs to act like an adult. He tries to get out of the car at a stop light but it suddenly turns green so I never come to a complete stop. How many more until the hospital? One is too many. Fine he says, I won't say anything next time. I just won't go to school. So I turn around and take him back to where he is staying. I slam on the brakes in front and make him get out in the road. I think he flipped me the bird but I couldn't see his hand in the rear window, I am pretty sure he wasn't waving goodbye.

I come home and his teacher has left a message on my machine saying my son's grade went from a D to an E. He feels so awful that he can't concentrate and has been going down to the office and laying down.

On the way home I begin going over in my mind about any of the newer meds and if they could have affected his stomach and what he was on when the GI did his UGI. Suddenly I decide to check and see when he started the Celebrex. After the UGI, 2 weeks after, what is it, oh good God it is an NSAID. AMMIT!!! I knew that!!! What was his pediatrician thinking? You give a kid with stomach lesions an NSAID? One that powerful!!?? Moron!! So when I take my son's laundry back to him I will have to tell him to stop taking the Celebrex, he obviously has the same reaction as I do. I don't know what we will do about his back pain. Maybe after his bowels clear his back will get better.

I sit here crying because I feel so helpless. It is like dealing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He and his girlfriend came over yesterday and hung out and watched movies, played on the computer and with his little brother. They even stayed for dinner which is unusual. When I pick him up in the morning he is a totally different person. Tired, grouchy, mean, angry, sick.

I just feel so drained. I don't have anything left for the rest of the day.

Oh Christina! I am so sorry you and your son are going through the ringer like this, I can't imagine what the GP was thinking when RX'n celebrex, I also think previcid will help, that is what I took when I had such a violent upper GI disturbance I could not keep even water down for very long. What do they want him to try first before authorizing previcid?

Forget school, sounds like he's lost it anyway, he just can't focus when he feels so sick. He can just take it again next year is all. What matters now is to get this taken care of now so he starts feeling better. I wish I could give you a real hug! :hug:

Hi,
It's going to get better the minute that summer school is over. Can you call off the whole thing? Esp. based on what you heard from the principal yesterday and from the teacher today?
Also, his meds are going to get better, esp since you pulled the Celebrex (dumb docs!).

He really should not be treating you like that.
But on the other hand, if he can't handle school or mornings, I can see why he is a mess on the way to school.

Sorry that you are going through this.

He's such a kid and yet lmost grown. My 16th and 17th years were the worst years of my life (even including my bad bipolar years later).

Mari

Okay Christiana

Can I ask what state your in? I might be able to give you some help with the school issues? Next prevacid did you say. I am going to send you a pm.

Donna

She lives in Michigan, and yes Previcid would help her son, I know what it was like getting that sick and it was the only thing that worked for me...Can you think of any org.s that can help her? That would be awesome Donna. :)

Sorry I'm having a rough weekend. But yes, I can find a organization
or probable because its Michigan two that can help.

But usually the serve parts of a state. So I'm also going to
put the name of the site to go look for the group too.

talliance.org

I believe I've got the right name. It is possible its ttalliance.org instead.

Donna

Thanks Donna, his primary will be in tomorrow and I am going to get him in. The insurance company said that the doc can call and actually talk to somebody in the pharmacy dept but I get the impression that doesn't happen very often.

The Prevacid is especially made for people who are also taking antibiotics so I don't understand why they can't make an exception with a doctor request.

What makes me mad is that these pills are $30 apiece. That is ludicrous.

He has stopped the Celebrex and is taking my Prilosec, I don't know what I will do when my scrip runs out, guess I will do every other day until refill time.

We were going to take him and his girlfriend out to dinner today for his birthday but with his stomach the way it is we decided to wait.

http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x...t/IMG_0534.jpg There is my boy, can you believe he is only fifteen, well sixteen in two days. When he hugs me my head lays on his chest. I am 5'4". He looks kinda like a punk (actually he can be if he catches you doing somebody wrong). He is actually a real momma's boy and he don't care who knows how much he loves his mom. All his friends know. He is a good kid. Still has a lot of maturing to do.

Thank you Donna, I will check out the site.

Donna according to what I see in my area it is Cause. I just got a some information about them from my son's therapist and I was going to have them advocate for us in the fall to help get a personal curriculum for my son.

What a coincidence! I will take a look around and see what I can find.

Love the pic, was this taken tonight? :D I hope he starts feeling better soon Christina. Keep us posted! :D

Too long to read!!!!
 

Thank you Pam, no this was about a week and a half ago. Self portrait in the bathroom. He likes to take pictures to post on MySpace. He is the one who talked me into setting up my own MySpace. He made a comment about a month ago that he wasn't the first in my friends list lol. Oooppss! Funny, I noticed the day before that lol.

Today is the first day of the last week of school and I can tell he feels a bit better or yesterday was a really good day. He wasn't mean and nasty, just tired. Asked if I would be able to pick him up early and I told him that his teacher said no early days this week, too much to learn for final on Thursday. He really needs to work hard this week. Just a passing grade is all he needs.

Tomorrow is his birthday so we took him out to get a piercing.http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:.../piercings.jpg NO!!! Just a little eyebrow. He wanted a tattoo but I told him no. At least with a piercing he can remove that. Bought him a couple of movies he wanted. Then we all went for ice cream. http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:...eam_sundae.jpg mmmmmm!! Next weekend maybe we can go out to eat. Give his tummy time to settle from the Celebrex and the Protonix time to work.

Gee they called me on Friday at 5:30 had the amn pharmacy # written wrong. She apologized for it today and said it could very well have been her fault but the other nurse who called that I can't stand made like my fault. So we went whole weekend with out his scrip. I call that number 3x a week at least and had bottle in my hand so know not my fault. Have appt. today to ask for referral for food allergy test. Am going to see about getting it done asap.

I am so grateful to you guys for letting me rant here. You probably see a new post and think oh no there she goes again about her kid lol. I would rant on MySpace but he is on my friends list LOL. He can read it, gee maybe that is a good idea. No probably not.

I have been doing a lot of research on help available to him for getting him through school. I wish I would have know this was all available back in 2005 when his grades first started falling. Then trouble started and things have been down hill. I just thought that the school would help. I talked to my ex mother inlaw, B's grandma, the EMI teacher's aide witch, and she says,"WELL, I don't know why the school would lie to you." (regarding available services, and options) then I told her what I was told and she didn't say anything. Then I told her I was going to get an advocate and she said " they don't know everything all the time either." This woman is a contradiction. She will say things flat out to seem humble but then she acts like she knows everything. Does that make sense? She will say "I don't know everything." but then she will go on and on like she does.

okay, I have bored myself and ranted, and vented, I am sorry dear reader

Hi, Christina,

It is always good to hear from you.
I love his pic.
And I agree that a piercing (except in the tongue --eek) is better than a tattoo.

The schools will lie and they do flat out lie.
They will do whatever they can to avoid helping students who are not exactly average students.
(I know this because I was a hs and middle school teacher).

Bobi / Bdix30 on BT knows a lot about this stuff. She had to work hard to help one of her sons and I think also one of her neices. Also, perhaps her masters is in this area -- I know that she has been advocating for others for awhile. If you have not already, contact her and see what she says.

Mari

I do recall her giving advice to me a couple of times elsewhere. She was very helpful when my son first started his IEPs. I really wish I had all of this info then. He has been struggling so hard and this all could have been so much easier.

I got my hands on booklet that they give out to parents called Michigan's High School Graduation Requirements. 2007-2008 Guide for Parents. What is funny is that this booklet has 16 pages. It is missing about 84 pages. The one I just sent a request for from the state capital, same cover and everything has 100 pages in it and a whole bunch of info I need. My poor printer was poopin' out trying to print stuff, I kept finding more. So I emailed the Dept. of Edu. and requested it.

I told the special ed guy that I wanted to work on setting up a personal curriculum and he hasn't returned my call. I don't think he is very happy. Maybe he is waiting to see my son's final grade in this summer class.

Christina

For one thing realize that we all are grateful to hear the lift in your voice.

Next I can tell you point blank that many school personnel don't have
a clue about special needs kids. And what they need. So don't let
them fool you.

You will get this straightened out. And you will go get them very well.
Also you might check with the special education department at
the State Department of education. If like Indiana they have a
state law that they have for parents to get copies of.

And it would help you know what the school has to provide.

Donna

Hi Christina!
If you need any help with IEP/504 accomodations, laws, or help locating advocates to accompany you please ask! I'd be happy to help! He is most definately entitled to whatever accomodations are necessary to get him through high school - free and appropriate education for all! Let me know what I can do!
Bobi

Thanks Bobi, sorry I am just getting to this. My son is back home, and his girlfriend showed up on our door step with backpack and puppy at 7 a.m. Tuesday morning. She left home. She is 17 so not a whole lot her mother can do. I don't blame her. Her mother was trying to force her to live with a woman beater. We told her she could stay here a couple of days and then we will take her to her grandmother's which is about 5 miles north of us.

I spoke to the school today and they said I was the first ever in the school district to ask for a personal curriculum. They are working on it she said and I explained what I had in mind and she said she will get back with me in a couple of days. She was very nice. I think one of the problems may be one of the principals but I don't see as him really being a policy maker. I have a sheet about a group called Cause that has advocates that are available to me and I plan to call them if I even get a hint that I will have any trouble. Or do you think I should anyway, just for back up? Maybe I will call tomorrow anyway. Bobi I have no idea what the 504 is. Maybe you should give me an idea.

My son failed the math course this summer. We knew he would.

Well it is late so I am going.

Have a good night all.

Section 504 is a civil rights law that prohibits discrimination against individuals with disabilities. It safeguards that a child with a disability has equal access to a free and appropriate education by making sure that they are given accommodations and modifications.

That said, a 504 does not require the school to give the child an individualized educational program (IEP - which is designed to meet the child's disability and unique needs) To sum it up a 504 does not have as many procecdural safeguards as do the IDEA plans. (IEP)

A 504 works if there are a few tweaks that need to be done in order to keep the child mainstreamed and not using the special education resources in order to keep them in school.

What options does your son need to give him the same opportunity to graduate as the other kids? Do you have a list? Has the school set up a meeting, requested documentation, or given you anything to sign? How long ago did you request that this plan be created and implemented, and was it in writing or verbally?

If you get your county/state info to me I can get you a list of agency's available to help through the entire process as well. :)

Hi Bobi, I just finally talked to someone yesterday. She is the new Director of Special Services at my son's school. She said that they were making up a basic outline of what kind of things would be available for my son.

His last IEP meeting was in early spring of '08. The only special class he was taking was Study skills. They were making teachers aware of his disability and that was about it. He did not want or need any special education classes because he is capable of doing the work just not in that kind of setting.

He is enrolled in a special program through the school that allows him to take a class off campus at the Skill Center that is 2 1/2 hours that he is looking forward to, it is Video Production. (nothing to do with special education) I also want him to test out of a class he failed that he was to take over summer but we know he can pass. I want him to be able to possibly take classes at home online but so far they are telling me if they are available on campus then he can't. HIs biggest problem seems to be that he is incapable of functioning in that kind of setting. He is tired or distracted, bored, impatient, unfocused, just too long to try to sit in a chair and pay attention. If it weren't for his wanting to go to the Skill Center so badly I would maybe try strictly online homeschooling maybe. I am no good at math though and that is a bad one for him. He will have to go to school for that or something.

I have been trying to get in contact with someone for a couple of weeks but because everyone is in and out or transferring then they are not getting my messages. I just got lucky with my call yesterday. There is no meeting set up yet. They will call me soon to set something up. I do have a group called Cause's phone number and had considered calling them to get an idea of what to do.

I am in Flint, Michigan, Genesee County

Thanks Bobi, I really appreciate it.

Step 1: Call your son's Pdoc and have him compose a letter stating that the classroom setting is limiting your son's ability to successfully utilize his education. Have him suggest the online courses; even if they are offered at the school.

Regardless of whether or not they offer the same classes in person - if he is unable to participate in them at his grade level ability then alternative placement and accomodations are legally required to be made. To put it bluntly, it doesn't make a dang bit of difference if they do not normally allow a child to take an online class that is offered at the school because every child is entitled, as dictated by federal law, to a free and appropriate education. A classroom that he cannot succeed in is not appropriate, and you having to pay for alternative placements is not free. Therefore - the school, reguardless of their "normal" protocol, would have to allow an alternate placement.

Step 2: Type up a letter requesting a meeting, and put it in the letter that you have requested this meeting several times in person, and site the date (or approximate date) as well as the person's name you were speaking with. Put in the letter a summary of what you would like discussed, and request that any documentation that will need to be signed be immediatly forwarded to you so as not to delay things once the meeting is scheduled. (This gives you a chance to contact your advocate and have them explain any paperwork the school will send you)

Step 3: Contact:
Michigan Protection & Advocacy Service, Inc. (MPAS)
Lansing (517) 487-1755 | TOLL FREE 1-800-288-5923
http://www.mpas.org/HomePage.asp
This is some of the services (and i mean SOME, they have a TON!!!) that they offer:

PAIMI: Protection and Advocacy for Individuals with Mental Illness
The Protection and Advocacy for Individuals with Mental Illness (PAIMI) program serves people labeled mentally ill. PAIMI staff provide information and referral, and advocacy services to ensure proper treatment. Services also include investigation of alleged abuse and neglect issues, and addressing systemic issues that may improve the care and treatment for all people with mental illness in Michigan.

Special Education - Advocacy and Information
MPAS provides a variety of advocacy information and services related to disability issues in Special Education. For more information call: 1-800-288-5923 or 517-487-1755

You are actually quite lucky to be living there! Your state dedicates quite a bit of funding towards non profit org.'s for people with mental disabilities. Call the above numbers tomorrow and explain your situation. I spoke with Michigan Protection & Advocacy Services today (number above) and he was chomping at the bit to talk to you!

Hope this helps a bit. Let me know if you need anything. :)
Bobi

PS
This is very similar to the counsil that I was chair for for several years. They are looking for people in your area - and is is an EXCELLENT way to network to recieve ANY services you, your son, and your family could use. They pay you to attend the 6 meetings a year and offer insite into your world and voice what areas need improving or creating for your state reguarding mental health. They also reimburse travel costs and child care costs. here is the link. read it and give them a call as well!
http://www.mpas.org/AdvocacyServices.asp?TOPIC=10888

Wow Bobi, thanks. The principal tried to talk me into sending my son to an alternative education program in the district where the classes are smaller and the teachers are more familiar with my son's kind of problems but then he would lose his services that come with his special education status. I was adamant about not doing that. Most of the kids in those programs have been expelled for something or other my son already did his bout with that particular class. I will be sure to start making the calls to see what can happen. I don't think we will have any problem getting statements from both his Pdoc and his therapist.

My son really wants to attend the Skills Center, this is the first thing he has looked forward to in years so I hope they don't make it so hard that we have to leave the district. I do know that there are free high school online classes. I have already found those. Another thing is, school starts in a little over 2 weeks, they better not drag their feet.

Thanks again.

Hi,
That's good that you did not agree to the principal sending your son to an alternative school.
You can pretty much count on anything the principal recommending being a bad idea.
Sorry -- I'm a cynic.

Keep strong. You are going to find the right place for him.

Mari

Mari is totally right. Do not agree to anything until you have spoken with an advocate and scheduled him/her to go into the meeting with you.
You are doing great from the sounds of it!

You sound so much more upbeat. And I"m so glad he has come up with something he wants. This is so good.

I am a advocate and this will work well what he is wanting.

So go for it.

Donna

Hi Christina!
How goes your Monday? Were you able to get ahold of his pdoc and/or MPAS?
I'm dying to know how it went. All the services he was talking about sounded outstanding!
Hope all is well! :)
Bobi

Hi Bobi, thanks for asking though by now it is Wednesday lol. I am riding the PMDD, Fibro flare, added to the stress of fighting with son's school and monitoring son's health, house falling apart and looking like a sty, rollercoaster. Not so good though I am hanging in. The BF had yesterday off so I pretty much spent it in bed with the TV and my books and my little snugglebunny (my 7 yr old) in and out.

Man bipolar teens are ssssoooooooo needy LOL. OMG, mom come watch this video, mom will you do this, mom can I do that, throwing his 200+ pounds on the bed to laugh or talk LOL. I wanted to lock the door;).

He has an appt with his Pdoc on the 18th and they have strict instructions to not contact him unless my son has been hospitalized:rolleyes:. Actually I think it is them more than the doc. They said the same about my pdoc and she was flaming and gave me her cell number.

I talked to the school about a personal curriculum, told them that he is almost incapable of learning in that atmosphere, sitting still for an hour and processing the information. He wants to stay in the system and attend the Skills Center, possibly take some online classes at home. She gave me my options 1) go to an accelerated learning program, kind of a work at your own pace, lose special education status; told her no. 2) add a 7th hour to the day to make up the missing credits and possibly make it an online class; ah duh what part of what I just said did you not understand! 3) Special education classes, smaller, more informed teacher; he is capable of learning just not in that setting, does not want the "special education" label.

So I told her to go ahead and call for an IEP meeting and we will see what we will come up with. He will have to go the first week or two as scheduled but hopefully we can get some things taken care of. She said it will probably be the first week of school.

I called and spoke with Dan at the MPAS number you gave me, he is probably who you spoke with, and explained what was going on and he is going to see who they have available to come help me, either through his org. or another.

I told him I had no clue what I was doing and he said he would have someone call me and explain what I could do. Then I started crying, I told him I am totally lost, I have all this info printed out and I read it and forget it, I am Bipolar and take meds and also have fibro and chronic pain sufferer and only on a good day can I remember my name without a pause. So he said he would try to find someone and call me by Friday. They go back to school on the 2nd of next month.

Thank you Bobi so much for your help :hug:. I probably would have gone to this meeting and had all this info and would have let them walk all over me because I have no clue what I am doing and because they are supposed to know what they are doing and I expect them to be fair and have my child's best interests at heart and it is all just politics.

How are you? Well I hope. You are so busy helping everyone else who helps you lol?

I forgot to mention that as I was talking to her she was going through my son's records and then she starts mentioning things like, now I don't know your son but some kids, and I start thinking "what is she reading", and she keeps coming up with these little scenarios, like trying to get out of school being the reason he wants to do online at home, which quite frankly was my idea, not his. So I asked Dan about getting his school records and he said I could but I probably wouldn't get the little notes that teachers had written and stuff. I thought I recalled reading somewhere about getting his record wiped clean but I don't know if that means everything or just expulsions or what.

Okay enough lol.

It sounds like everything is falling into place. If Dan does not call you back first thing on Friday - call him! I'm so glad you are getting help.

What you need to do is walk into the school without notice and request to look at both his IEP folder and his cume (pronounced que-m) folder. Then you can go to a quiet area of the office and look at everything (and have them make copies) of everything inside. By law if you ask to see all documentation and folders pertaining to your child they have to make them available.

And today I got plenty of help via the new computer chair back massager heating pad that I bought with a lotto ticket winning lol. It actually felt really good while I was sitting on my duff at work today! Thanks for asking. :)

Let me know how the call with Dan goes!
Bobi

PS: You can also request ANY copies of any documentation referencing your son that they are looking through during any meeting. Next time she does this ask to see the paper she is looking at and then ask for a copy.

What!!!!

LOL, congratulations!!! I am jealous!! My back probably wouldn't hurt as bad if I would get out of this stupid computer chair more often lol. Or if you sent me that there nice massager you won. I never win anything. Well I guess that's not true, I did win a $10 gift certificate for a mexican restaurant 1 town over, last fall.

Okay is that pronounced almost like kwe m or do you say like this looks q mmm, just like it is spelled with the long u? Dan said that they did have to show me his records but as for the little notes by the teachers and such they may not show me that stuff. It may very well be computerized then won't they just print out what they want me to see?

Either way they are going to have to give up some info and I look forward to talking to whoever is going to advocate for us. I have to remember to leave voice mail for the therapist tomorrow to see if he wants to be there.

Gee I wish I could have you lol. Feel like making a trip to Michigan? The weather has been beautiful.

I love Michigan! My sister and family were stationed at KI Sawyer for a few years and I went to visit in the fall. It was gorgeous!

It is pronounced "q mmm". Be sure to specifically ask for both his regular folder and his IEP related folder. And take your time going through it. You can ask the admin. assistant to make you any copies that you would like for your records; AND you are allowed to make notes reguarding any of the information you find in the teachers notes that will be kept in his folder forever. (I found one when my son was in 2nd grade that noted the teachers feelings on his classroom behavior...something like "his mother is overly involved and the child feels that he can get away with acting out because his mom will makes excuses." I put a note in there stating that without seeing her medical license as well as her chart of her medical research reguarding my son, her uneducated diagnosis of the situation was illegial. (Of course I made a copy) The district then made a notation stating that the teachers opinion was incorrect based on testing from my son's medical team. (Of course I had to specifically put this in writing and mail it to them that I wanted it done.)

You ABSOLUTELY want the therapist there; as well as ANYONE on his support team that is willing. (doctor, former teacher, counciler...) You also want a letter from anyone willing to write you one reguardless if they are in attendance at the IEP meeting. I would also go in asap and go through his folders. This way you can bring up any points that supports his needing alternative placement. (i.e. 5 teachers have said that he is unable/unwilling to function in my class; his mental state is such that he cannot complete the work...) ANYTHING that will help make your arguement; even if that is not the reason for the notes.

You'll be an old pro at this by the end of the year. (This is good because the yearly battle wont entirely end until he finishes school.) You are doing great!

One more thing to keep in mind....

A whole world of assistance and accomodations open up once he has the special education tag. I can understand his feelings on this, but if an "on paper" label will make the high school experience less painful he might want to consider it.

The advocate will talk to you both about the upside to special education. (reguardless it does not mean that he has to take this option the school is giving him. It just opens more doors for him.)