Weekend Thread just a little early (August 1st)
 

Hoping no one mind's but I hate to be so late I feel like I miss the whole thread, or even just the most of it. So I thought I'd start this one.

And it would also give me good luck on my driving tomorrow, or today after
sleep. I'm going to get Derrick in a few hours in Bloomington Illinois from
Epilepsy Camp. And I know he will have had a great time, and will have
rather stayed longer. But alias they have only one week.

I then go get my device reprogramed. Saturday I am determined to go
garage saling. I've not made it, its my turn. My husband and son are
getting his house ready I hope, its looking as a busy week for him and
hopefully the house will be ready soon.

Then on Sunday, one of my granddaughter's is getting baptized. I
don't think I'm going to get to go. I am having trouble working both this
and the returning of the device in the schedule and then to Indy.

But life is life. I have to say, my husband is doing good coming through
for me right now. I have a new van again. Its because mine broke down, and we aren't sure what's wrong. And I had to have something to drive
tomorrow, so its all good. Thanks too all that encouraged me to stand
up to him.

Its been a great time lately. You will all be in my thoughts next week, but
not sure how much you will see me, I have a full week. Even have been
given a okay for 81/2 hours of overtime. WOW.

Donna

:Good-Post:

Hi, Donna,
Thanks for the nice update.
You have a busy week ahead.


This was a tough week for me.
I felt crummy and depressed.
I'm looking forward to seeing the tdoc tomorrow.
Maybe she can help.
Maybe I should go to bed on time tonight.

Mari

Well Mike told me everything about why he thinks we cant work out and it's all of it is bull.

I have my 2nd pdoc appointment tomorrow at 2. im nervous because hes kinda mean and i dont know what to do/say tomorrow after he flat out told me hes not gonna be enough for me.

he didnt tell me any thing about the xanax other then to get it, ive taken a few of them but i dont know if i was supposed to, i needed them tho. :/ ehrgfqerhj this weekendis going to be so rediculous.

Dear Mari,
I am sorry that you are feeling crummy....
Do you think some evening time at the beach might help?
WE are planning a quick trip to pensecola in a couple of weeks....hope the weather cooperates.
I need to unpack and do laundry.
I showered tonight...took forever...scratched myself raw for some reason....
my neice is having back problems, a pinched nerve of sorts her left foot is numb and she can't curl her toes...and started having numbness in her arm as well...very scarey stuff...they are scheduled for a mri of her whole spine next thursday. She is a cheerleader, had to quit because of her back.:(
sigh
bizi

I got so wired up mentally working on my website tonight that I'm having to take time to relax now. I have a beer for just that. My muscles are all tense also from being in one position for a long time. I think that jerk Chris I was going with woke me up to reality and helped me to see my priorities. Now that I am digging into my studies and getting into other interests outside my neighborhood I have some neighbors wanting to spend time with me at my place. Two of them who come most often don't smoke as the ones who smoke won't come to my place because they can't smoke. Life is getting good.

befuddled2

Everyone is so busy, I use to think weekends were to relax, now they seem so filled with everything that needs be finished from one week and a head start on the next week.

we are planning a trip to Buffalo NY this THursday. My step daughterhas a lead in local theater production of Jesus Christ Superstar.
My youngest with the anxiety won't go. She refused an overnight trip a few weeks ago to Philadelphia. That was difficult because she loves the Speghetti Wearhouse. But she would not go over night. Eveything in Phila closes at 5:0 PM as far as the attractions.

We have to stay over night too far to travel in one day to Buffalo from NE PA. I want to see the Falls again, go to the butterfly obsrv. and a day at Niagara on the Lake. We have not been up in ten years. My Lexapro and Ativan help me to get there, I have travel phobia too.

I am hoping some of the sites will intrigue her, the Museum, the marine land, Butterflys....
Otherwise I have to leave her with my older son's family. I so want her to go.

The race for Nascar is in Poconos this weekend so lots of local activity. We will not go this year. The guys like the time trials on Saturday, but not this time.
Everyone my thoughts are with you, have the best weekend and week you can.
di :grouphug:

There should be directions on how to take them on the bottle Meghan, your Pdoc might be just simply saying he's only going to RX meds for you and now it's up to you to find a licensed therapist to work out the other issues since he is only willing to prescribe. I was just a little worried by your post because I know some Pdocs only RX drugs and don't DO therapy like they used to. Look for a licensed therapist at your local mental health clinic and I bet after you've done an intake with them like I had to do last week you'll get on with a counselor who you'll be able to work with. :)

As for us, same old same old, going out with Mom, I just got back with pizzas, NO cooking for me tonight!~ and only limited dishes! HURRAY! I also bought some highlighter pens I needed to use on my notes for that Open Uni on Information Communication Technology I am working on at home. It's not credited courses, but free courseware which I am using to help get prepared for college. :)

ooo whats this open uni thing? it sounds interesting and like something I would like to do. and I'm jealous of the pizza! I want to make homemade pizza I havent done that in so long and I want to make homemade pasta sauce. My dad has a HUGE garden (he has 157 tomato plants, along with cucumbers and zucchini and other things!)

I have no idea how to make sauce but hopefully I can learn!:)

Here is the link:

http://openlearn.open.ac.uk/

Check it out if you have time Meg, I think you'll like it, I am loving it got a notebook with twenty pages of notes to help me remember what I'm learning for when I go back to college in the 2009-10 school year. :D

If anyone wants to chat I am in the chat room....

Only slept 3 hours last night off and on.
Crappy time at the tdoc's.
M

Awwwww, poor you! You tired now? Maybe you could sleep? I am sorry you had a crappy time at the tdocs too. That louses the whole day up. Oh well. Try to get some rest if you can Mari, I feel for you. :hug:

Got four of us in chat now...

Not much for talking right now...
but thought I should check in...

My weekend plans... none.

Hope everyone has a good weekend...

take care,
Abbie

Picked Derrick up from camp. Two seizures this week. THen returned home, kept thinking my feet sure hurt. Then realized they were whopping big.
They are very swollen. I'm getting worried. And have no clue why they are
doing this again. ITs been a long time, the water pill has taken care of the problem, till I've been off the medicine i had to go off of for this test.

I'm not happy about the weight gain back either. Its the pits I was doing so
good, now I have to start with even more weight to lose. I weigh more today
than I did two days ago, by 12 pounds, this is scaring me.

Donna

This is very scarey!
If you were to become short of breath or have breathing difficulty, then go to the er.
This is fluid overload and very hard on your heart.
((((((((hugs)))))))
bizi

Thanks Bizi

I am watching it. Because I already have breathing problems. Its why
I'm having the test. So I don't want to be to uncareful.

But its also one of the reason's I love being welcome here. I can tell
everyone here what is going on and they help me. And really understand
why I am worried.

Donna

hi Donna,
the thing about water pills is that they can wreck havoc on your potassium levels.
If you are taking lasix then you need to be taking a potassium supplement or eat foods like bananas.
I am very concerned about you.
bizi

WE are here when you feel like talking....
(((((((HUGS)))))))
bizi

I have no plans today, I wrote mike a wicked long thing about how he thinks i have no responsibility and infact I have more responsibility then he thinks and that everyone else thinks and I read it to him last night on the phone, after he was reluctant to answer the phone.

I read it to him, and it sounded like he was crying but he told me he wasnt after we got off the phone and he said he was tried and needed to think about everything today. I understand his need for space, the things I said last night were over whelming and I know he doesnt work things out by talking about them, he holds them inside and just lets them eat at him.

I hope he really HEARD I was saying. He has a huge problem with taking charge in his life. My outlook on life is "If things aren't going your way, do what you can to fix them." I can't sit around and watch stuff happen to me that I know I can fix, so I go out and do what I can to fix it. I can't sit idly by and think "oh well poor me, i'm in a rut and here's where I'll stay."

That's exactly how Mike thinks. He's in a job he hates, doing manual labor for the amount of money he needs to get by, but he doesn't get anythign else out of it. He has this outlook like "i have to be stuck in this terrible job because I have bills to pay and my band isnt working out oh poor me my life sucks, im getting "old" and i dont have a wife or kids yet"

But he won't do anything about it. He can find a different job, he's only 23, it's alot easier to change careers now then when he's 40 and tired of doing back breaking work. It sound easier then it is and I know that but he can't sit around and complain about things that are in his control.

I asked him to hang out tomorrow night (we've been hanging ovut every Sunday for teh past few weeks) and he hasn't answered me yet. I hope he says yes, I wanna show him my laptop and maybe watch a movie on it and just hang out, like friend, like he wants. I have work tomorrow afternoon but after that I was planning on going out there after. I just wanna see him and show him that I have things together because right now, I feel like I do. He can't really see I have things together until I show him. I can tell him all I want but he won't believe it till he sees results, just like me that's how I am. If I don't see a result I don't feel like any of my efforts are worth it or justified.


So we'll see what he says about tomorrow. I hope he says yes, it would really give me a chance to show him I've changed and really taken a step up. Please hope for me that I can show him that life isn't about givine up and settling in a rut. It's about taking steps towards goals and I'm glad that nowI realize that. This whole experience has been a step for me. I can't let my anxiety and my panic attacks get in my way. I am in control of me, anxiety is not in control.

This post went from worrying about what Mike is thinking or what's gonna happen, to if it doesn't work out, then okay! Right now it's not happening but I'm doing what I can.


I hope that sometime soon someone realizes that I'm taking steps and someone is proud of me.

:highfive:

Dear Meg,
I realize that you are taking steps. You came on here. You saw a pdoc for evaluation and medication and you've done other things too as well, I'm sure.
Practice feeling proud of yourself.
It's a good thing.
Mari

I am feeling proud of my self a little bit. I'm always one to wait for a sign or result to really cement that my efforts are being noticed or are working. Once I see even the littlest result, my confidence will shoot up and it'll help me get moving even faster and further ahead into this new life. I'm trying, I just need confirmation that the steps I'm taking are right, and are helping.

Accupunture hmm, maybe I could benefit from that, do you do it for pain relief or just relaxation? I'm glad it helped you, I need to be in a better mood maybe I should look into it.
I used to be vegan and it made me very very sick so I had to stop. Good luck with your restaurant search :)

I like it Mari that I see that smiley guy in your post. It does seem like your mood has lifted and for that I'm grateful. :hug:

Meg I don't think we ever "spoke" before but I'm proud of you for posting here, seeing a pdoc and I think you're headed in the right direction. If I could I'd slap you on the back and say good job :hug:

SO he turned the game back on, I am so mad....It was cut off today and he just HAD to have it back and has been in there for two hours. :( Now it's time to make dinnre and I asked how he wanted the chicken and he said nuggets, which I am NOT making on my own again. Just not doing it. I am so irked. I woke up in a good mood, had a good day and then this happened, with him asking for my credit card to turn his game back on. :mad:

I just hate this and can see it's gonna build up again until I explode and this time I won't back down, he can leave....He's already NOT HERE so why BE here at all? I am so upset...Jackie is playing baseball with a small rubber ball in the house and a stick and I told him to stop and Jack said let him do it. THIS is what's wrong here...but will HE ever see it? No...I could just scream I am so angry. AND disappointed. I don't know why I thought he would be real with me and DO what he said he would for once, he's got a bad track record. :(

thank you :) its really helpful to have some sort of guidance. its like having street lamps on a dark path, i need them to see that im on the path and going well, you guys are my street lamps:)

dear pam, im sorry youre having a difficult time but please know that im thinking of you and that im hoping things get better for you soon :hug:

I helped make the darn nuggets, but at least Jack did most of the work. I got things ready and have been feeling kind of manic today, I got a great deal on a year supply of 70 page spirals from walmart for $ .05 a piece! I got a whole box of 24 college ruled! Just like I like. :D I wish that Jack would not be in there so much with the darn video games...It really aggrivated me and that was why I wasn't in any mood to make nuggets. :p

Thanks Meg for thinking of me, I feel better now, just a bit numb though because I just hate the situation I am in. :D

OH PAM you just got me SO SO SO excited and SO happy.

One of the greatest joys in my life (dont laugh please ) is:

BACK TO SCHOOL SUPPLY SHOPPING


New inky gel pens, new mechanical pencils, fresh paper notebooks, folders and binders! ALL of it, I LOVE going to staples, office max, walmart all of it. <3333

Hi all!

Meg, you have a good way to look at things.

I cleaned today and went shopping this evening. I got a rug and pillows to decorate the love seat I bought a few months ago.

befuddled2

Yeah I love back to school sales too Meg! :D I really LOVED plopping that box of spirals on the conveyer belt this morning...LOL!!!

Is it weird i LOVE the smell of fresh paper/books? and i LOVE organizing and labeling things

like this folder is for math, and it goes in this binder and will be this color (i associate classes with color like green is usually science, and blue is usually math)

so my science binder will prob be green with a green notebook and a green folder, and hopefully a green pencil, so everthing stays together:)

You all rock
 

BJ,
Thanks. Yes I'm feeling better. I did not know how bad I felt until I felt better -- maybe that makes sense.



Pam,
You got a great deal. I like buying college ruled paper too.
Sorry about the chicken nuggets. They sound like something that should be saved for special occassions -- like someone's birthday.


Meg,
Colors! What do you use for your favorite all around pen? I like purple. But I don't like the gels so much. And some of them have funny smells.


Befuddled,
I've been holding myself back from buying new small rugs for the kitchen. We need news one that are small enough to fit nicely in the washing machine. I almost bought some last night. I decided to wait for the next pay check. Our Target here usually has cute stuff. The stuff I saw at Kmart last night was not cute and rather expensive. Enjoy your new pillows too.

I like black inky pens, like a nice fountain pen in crisp black is fantastic. I don't like erasable pens because they smudge really bad.

I loveeeeeeee mechanical pencils. They're just so great.

Ohhhhh I so badly wanna go out and get paper and pens and everything now!

Hi all

I'm working on getting the swelling to go down. I have had my
feet up all day. And have done half way good getting the swelling
down. I hate not doing anything though and wish I had a clue
what is wrong.

Because the swelling was still there this morning so I know its
not just leaving in the mornings. They are still somewhat swollen
just not as bad.

Still debating what to think.

Donna