Feeling sad after return from holiday...
 

We were away on holiday for almost 10 days, and returned last weekend. Don't get me wrong, we had a lovely time, and were able to visit with old friends I had originally met after I came over to the states. Most of them live in NYC, or the surrounding areas, and we spent the entire time in NYC, and even a few days at a friend's weekend getaway home in the mountains. Monday was my 1st day back at work, and last night was my 1st night on-call.

For some reason, I'm very depressed. Everyone was lovely, and went out of their way to make us feel at home. BUT, it seems like everyone else's life is settled with children, and homes, etc. I suppose I am the only one of my friends from graduate school who is ill (we're still quite a close knit bunch), and I feel like the odd one out; almost like I don't know where to fit in.:(

I came home, and although we had a lovely holiday, I'm more depressed than when we left. I hate this disease. I wish I didn't have to work, but financially I do until I can't physically anymore, and I almost feel jealous of my friends for all the "things" they have including their health (which they seem to take for granted). Is it me, or does anyone else ever feel like this? Perhaps we shouldn't even bother to go on holiday anymore. Physically, I felt well. The weather couldn't have been more perfect. Warm, but not hot days, and nice cool nights (compared to where we are now).

What's wrong with me?:o

Aw, Chrappy, I'm sorry you're feeling crappy, it's really not like you.

Sometimes these things get to me too, I remember the day my doc explained that the MS can mess with your emotions. He put me on a low dose of ADs and it seemed like he saved my life. It's been many years and I'm still on it.

Please tell your docs and let them help you!:hug:

Chris, I know exactly what you are saying. :(

I have mostly shut myself off so that I don't have to feel that sense of disappointment. Mine has mostly to do with missing the social aspects of working and being in the real world, like attending company picnics, discussing current events, working with a team to find solutions to problems, attending concerts/ball games, etc . . . Yeah, I MISS being able to keep up with people in this way, and feeling "part of it"!

It would also be difficult if I wanted a child and this disease impeded that. Well, it did really . . . since I have had MS for more years then kids, but I went for it anyway. It was not always easy ~ raising kids as a healthy parent is not easy ~ but it was the best decision I've made in spite of those obstacles. Life without kids would be very lonely (for me), especially with the other sacrifices I've had to make.

It's not fair that we have been dealt this, in our prime. I have had to re-invent myself, and it is not what I thought it would be. There is a grieving process we need to go through with that . . .

Have you considered adopting? Even if it is an older child?

Cherie

Sounds to me its the bittersweet return to reality that vacation often brings everyone added to the fact that you have this stinking disease. If it doesn't subside in a few days I would consider seeing your Doc.

:hug:

There's nothing wrong with you, Chris :), unless this feeling lasts for too long. When my best friend of 31 years came to visit me, it was wonderful :). After she left I cried off and on for a few days. I'm envious of her health, her job, her abilities :(. We used to lead near identical lives before the MS. I love her dearly and miss her quite a bit (she lives in PA and I'm in FL) but when I see the differences between us that never used to exist it makes me quite sad. As long as this mini-depression doesn't last, I'm sure you'll be okay :). Since I'm relatively newly diagnosed, just a bit over a year ago, I believe I just need more time to adapt to this BS MS.

What Nappy said, Chris. I am so sorry this has hit you now..

Please feel better..:hug:

Thank you Cindy,
I am going to wait until the beginning of next week to see if it may just be a reaction from returning to "real life". If it is not, I will certainly be in contact with either my PCP or my Neurologist's office to see about starting an AD. Thanks for your concern.:hug:

Thank you, Cherie. I think you've been here longer than most to know that we've tried and tried to have a child of our own to no avail. We've looked into the adoption route with little to no success due to the fact that I have MS, and the system here prefers parents who are "healthy". We are trying to go the private route, as I have connections being in the field, yet most single Moms still want a healthy couple for a child they are going to give up. We've thought and discussed adopting a special needs child, but even that system has it's checks and balances.

Thank you, Jules. I do plan on doing precisely that.

Thank you, Joelle. I suppose you'll learn that there are times when this disease sucks more, and hurts more than others, but it's an ever evolving process. I don't believe we ever really adapt. We just have to deal with it. We have no choices.:(

Oh, Sally. It makes me smile to see your smiling face (and that silly dog). Thank you!:)

AWWW Chrappy, that stinks! But, I have felt the same way. My friends (some are older than me) seem to make the GTG plans around me. Is DM going to be able to make it?? Will DM be able to stand the temps?? etc~ etc

I hate to say it, but I envy their energy. I have often wondered if I am just more vocal about how I feel and other's are holding it in. Surely, they can't feel good all the time????

Then, I pick myself back up and Thank HIM for all that I do have. Coming home from vacation is always a let down. Don't let it get to you, but if it continues, Yes~ seek a Dr's expertise. And, remember~ around here, you ARE normal and we do understand.

Hope this passes, Chris and AYUP, I missed ya!

Thank you DM. It's nice to know that this is normal. My, it looks as if Tinkerbell gained some weight while we were on holiday. What have you been feeding her?:eek:

Funny thing is that I bet they look at you and are jealous of your life! Everything seems to look a little rosier when viewed from another's point of view. I think I kind of know what you mean. I'm very different from most of my friends. They all have kids, some have the same interests, some different. There's no way they could relate to having an incurable neurological disease (except a couple of snarks that I happen to hang out with from the board!! :D )

I think a good way to get past it is to take a hard look at the wonderful things you do have and appreciate them for what they are. You're you and that's a wonderful thing. I'm sure they put on their best face and you didn't get to see the cr@ppy stuff that goes on in their life.

Give it some time. You'll be ok again. Next vacation - do a trip somewhere by yourselves instead!

Yes, this may be the answer. And if anyone understands, you do. Thank you!:hug:

:hug: Chris :hug: I remember that feeling well. I haven't been on a vacation in over 8 years but we used to go to Florida for two weeks every July. That last day on the beach was so sad. And the first day back home was even worse. It's just the letdown after having somewhat of a break from reality. At least it was for me. It took me several days to get back into the routine of work, etc. I hope you feel better soon. :)

about to go on a vacation for two weeks to florida...to spend time with inlaws....worried a bit about me and the heat....ahhhh

sorry you got that let down feeling...after vacation it can be tough...hope it clears...and hugsss
get help as you said if doesnt clear...and we are here...and sorry about the troubles of adoption ...hugsss,sarah

:hug:

Some of the best vacations that I've had, mini or otherwise, have been with others who have MS and can relate. We can crack up at each other's misfortunes and foibles, which we probably wouldn't do if we were with someone who didn't have it. We can also commiserate about our feelings relating to this disease. It's all highly personal.

(Who you calling "snark" Ms. Greta?)

AMN's got it going on. Hang in there and see what happens. Then if it lasts, go take care of it. ;)

Sometimes you need a vacation after your vacation to regroup and assess. Going back to work right after a vacation when you have a disease like this is sometimes "overwhelming."

It's difficult to take a vacation when it's not one that you have control over. I have done that too many times and come home completely drained and feel exactly as you are describing. I've learned to "schedule" some down time for myself during these "vacations" so I don't regret going on vacation with others. It does help.

I hope you are feeling better now. :hug:

How are you, Chrappy girl? You haven't been updating and I've been running back and forth to the hospital. I'm trying to get caught up with everyone and you're...

*choke... sniffle...*

Well...:Sob:

Yeah...what she said....:hug:

chris,

i understand what you're saying.
i'm sorry for the letdown.
i'd give it a bit of time to see if you settle in back home.

perhaps even some short term counseling? to talk it out.
you're feelings are normal.
i've sometimes felt letdown after being around others that i know. comparing myself to what had been. i think it's a bit of grief for a loss in our life.
those feelings are bound to come up from time to time.

i know that you know your friends. however, i've found personally that most people are dealing with something in their life. they appear to be "normal" and i envy them. then i hear their stories. everyone has their own thing to deal with in life.

take care. i hope you feel better soon.