'old' is when...
 

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your pacemaker opens the garage door,

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going braless
pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
instead of by the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action'
means you don't need to take any fiber today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means
you find your car in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up
to use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure these are jokes?

Oh my gosh, I can really relate to those! :o :cool: Thanks for sharing! :)

Don't think I'll ever wear a bra again.

Old is when........you reach the age of thirty.....

I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, and I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

They've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, they live in Utopia! And I hate to say it, but kids today don't know how good they've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there.

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids' and the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!

Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theatre there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you, you just couldn't see.

Cable television.... what the heck is that? Back then there was only like 4 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!

You were up the creek when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel, and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons! Kids today are so spoiled!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a fire.... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about!

The kids today have got it too easy. They're spoiled!!!!!!!!!

Those guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980! Oh yeah, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes.

Ok Koala, that was funny!

I remember when they first came out with plastic bottles. I was like 8 years old. We got a free sample of shampoo in the mail in a small "unbreakable" bottle. Well, unbreakable really impressed me. I wanted to see this! So I heaved it down the basement stairs. Nope. It was not unbreakable. Shampoo all over the place!

Tom

Oh, Anne, that was hysterical!! And I know exactly what you mean!! As crazy as it sounds.....I would love to go back to those simpler times. Everything today is done at warp speed....and I can't go that fast anymore! :(

LOL. I found this really funny! Especially number 1. Boy can I relate to that hahahaha.

These are great! I remember the first time I really felt old, I was looking at these newly arrived shoes called "Birkenstock" and I said to the salesman, "Oh, these are like Roots". He looked at me like I had just grown 11 new arms. I said, "You know, Earth shoes, from the 70s!" He looked me right in the eye and answered, "Ma'am, I was born in the 70s."

Boy, if I ever wanted to smack someone, it was right then!:Sigh:

Old is when: you start making the same "getting old" jokes your parent's did when you were in the 7th grade. Only now you think the jokes are funny, then you thought they were stupid.

Old is when: Your sweetie refers to your shoes as sensible (my dbf is soo in the doghouse for this one):mad:

I have just one question..... if I think these are funny and I understand them does that mean I am getting old???

ummmmm....yep!! Join the club!!

old is when kids ask you what color was the Ark :yikes:

I hope not yabbit cause i enjoyed and understood them as well

Old is when a beautiful women offers you "super sex" and you choose the soup.

Old is when you drive down the road mad at your spouse for running 3 stop signs...then realize you were driving.

Let these pictures tell the tale....

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I can do you one better on the popping popcorn thingy, Annie. I remember putting oil in a big ole pot, on top of the gas burner...heating the oil then, quickly, dropping in a handfull of popping corn...putting he lid on and shaking the pot back and forth on the burner untill the popping stopped or it burned...whichever came first...:eek::D

You know you're old when you refer to your waterbed as the dead sea. :Sinking:

That's how I've always done it, microwave stuff has too much weird junk sprayed on it for me.

A friend and her kids were staying with me once, I was making them some popcorn the normal way and the girls were amazed, "I didn't know you could do it that way!" LOL, another "old" moment.

Old Age, I've decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body! The wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. I am often taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, or my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement ornament that I didn't need, but looks so sweet on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I've seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon..... before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read, or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's & 70's if I want.... and if I wish to weep over a lost love .. I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the younger set. They too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But then again, some of life is just as well forgotten. I eventually do remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But .... broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older it's easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore... I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So.....I like being older. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day, if I feel like it!

that's how we do it in the jungle, LOL !!

:p

I have MS, people are always telling me "but you look good". Now people tell me I "look good FOR my age."

I have to admit, I can't do that safely, anymore, so the Micro/popcorn is my speed now..:rolleyes:

I used to make potato chips by, slicing potatoes paper thin and dropping them in hot oil, in a big ole pot, too..:eek:

My Mom used to do that!!! Oh, those were the best chips ever! We'd all be sitting at the kitchen table just waiting for them to get done 'cos they tasted best when you got them right out of the kettle!

I've never tried making these before - and don't think I could safely do it now. :(

I was doing that in 2007, does that make me old or cheap? Wait, don't answer that.