How do I pick myself back up???
 

I don't know if this is just a vent or if I need some advice :confused:. I've had some pretty life-altering events in the past three years and I believe it's all starting to catch up with me. I find myself withdrawing from everything (my family and NT included). :(. I've always been a very tough individual but lately I just don't seem to care about anything. It's taken me a couple of weeks just to post about this :cool:. I'm already on an AD and I'm not willing to change meds because I've been extremely sensitive to other AD's in the past. I'm just wondering if I need to give myself more time to adjust to my 'new and unimproved' life? Here's some background for those of you who don't know already: Moved to Florida less than three years ago away from all extended family and friends, got a well-paying job shortly after but had to go on LTD this year, dx with MS May of 07 (I went from working 60 hour weeks to now walking with a cane and having some major cog problems), my youngest son had to have traumatic Crohn's related surgery in 06, my mom died in April of this year from cancer (she was dx in Feb. and lived for only 71 days after), during that time my husband was dx with Crohn's disease and is still pretty ill, we are also in the midst of filing bankruptcy. That's all I can think of off the top of my head :rolleyes:. So, what do ya think?? Thanks for reading if you got this far :).

You do what I've been doing. You just move to the music until you really feel like dancing again. I heard that quote somewhere and I'm just paraphrasing it. The gist of it is that life has become like a party you didn't want to go to, but if you just give it a chance and just move to the music, pretty soon you will get into it and feel like dancing again.

It is an up and down thing. For me, it is like two steps forward and one back. I have days when I really think I'm making progress and feeling good about things and then have a set back.

Somewhere in a PM, I think I have your number. I may have to give you a call!!

Today is the only day you can count on for today. Focus on making each day as tolerable as possible. The past is gone, it can't be changed and an easier way to cope with it is to remind yourself that you're still alive for some reason.

Just be alive today, it's plenty. :)

Joelle, you know what I think? I think a long, trash talk, curse fest, smack down, day or night time call is in order? It's been too long hasn't it? What do you think? :D

Joelle my heart goes out to you. :hug: I love the saying Holly just mentioned. I don't really know what to say other than I am here for you. It will take time and I think everyone is different in healing time. I know you are currently dealing with things but just know that support is here for you! Try to take a little comfort in that. :hug:

I "fake it till I make it", which probably summarizes what both Holly and Cindy's have said.

Everyone goes through these times, Joellelee. We go through the hard times, to get to the good times . . . and you have to keep the faith that those good times will come.

When things are particularly hard for me, that's when I do some heavy soul-searching. Sometimes that means counselling, or just reading a series of inspirational books (about beating the odds). . . or both.

I try to find things that keep me humble or give me pleasure, if only for a short period every day.

I force myself to volunteer for things that I find very emotionally difficult, and I cry a lot.

I pray, but only seem to do that when I am VERY desperate. I like to reserve my favors. ;)

I post inspirational messages on the mirror and fridge.

I count my blessings regularly, and pat myself on the back for the smallest of accomplishments. I think about how much worse things could be.

I try to remember that this is only a moment in time.

I keep the faith that things will get better.

:hug:

Cherie

(if all else fails, I find a new drug . . . one that does what it should)

Aww, sweety.....I'm sorry you're feelin' so down. Life can seem like a collision course for sure sometimes. Like it waits till you're down and it gets in one more jab.

You're due for a break that's for certain. You know you're in my prayers....and you know you can call me anytime day or night. I'm always here....might be in the bathroom but I'll call right back!! :D

I wish I had an easy answer for you. I remember feeling the exact same way you do right now. I couldn't see a light at the end of the road. There was one, of course, but it was hard to get there.

:hug:

Sorry for all your troubles, Joellelee. :hug:

As you can see, there are many folks here at NT who care about you. I'm glad you were able to post and hope you will receive strength, support and comfort.

I found your phone number and called, but got the machine. I left you a longish, rambling message -- the machine told me when I only had 30 seconds left, lOl!

Praying for you, friend. Be well. :hug:

Hey J~ I hope you know that I am speaking from my heart when I say that I know you've had so many trials to get through. Your family's health (your's included) along w/losing your dear Mother, have rocked your world.

I had a rough yr last year. You know that I also lost my dear Mother 3 1/2 wks after a CA dx. It literally pulled the rug out from under me. It's hard to lose a person you love so much. You have had so much to deal with and I hope that you know how much I care about you. (we all do here at NT)

Please know that I am praying for you and your family and sending hugs to you.

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How unfair for any one person to have to deal with all of this! :mad:

Please consider at least speaking to your Doctor about tweaking your current AD if you aren't willing to try a different one. Wishing you well and sending hugs, Jules

Just when I'm having a down, pity party, day, You come along and remind me, how really good, I have it..:hug:

I am so sorry about all this @#$*&, backing it's truck up on you and dumping..:mad: Some say comforting things, like, He is only testing you.....He never gives you more than you can handle..:rolleyes: Blah, blah, blah....It's the DEVIL, I tell ya!!! God wouldn't purposely hurt you.

God did create good Scientist, who in turn, discovered great AD's, for our comfort..:) I suggest, you increase your doseage. I've had to do that, many times and it works.;)

I will pray that all your troubles become so small, that you don't even realize that they are there.

Feel Better, Please..:hug:

Joellelee, like AMN said today is today yesterday is gone, I would ad you should not be so hard on yourself for feeling blah, we all get blah, and you, have been through heII as of late stress worries and more stress, It would only be natural to feel blah, cuss feast is in order, like sandy said, try to find a way to get it out of you and relax you are ok, and you always have support here, you know that, so don't hesitate, log on vent away, or ask for :hug::hug::hug::hug:

Wow, I knew you've had a hard year, but I didn't realize how much you've had on your plate. No wonder you feel so bad.
Sounds like you're depressed (duh, right?). You have some signs of shutting down...I've been there. It's a coping mechanism I used well...and still do.
I found that a good therapist helped me more than any AD ever did. It helped me uncover buried grief concerning the deaths of my parents, and gave me coping tools to help me handle anxiety and feelings of unworth.

I hope that you find a place in your life where you can find peace...know that you're not alone...:grouphug:

Thanks everyone :). It feels good just to let it all out, ya know?

There were some very good suggestions that I'm gonna try, as soon as I can make myself do them :o. That's half of my problem, I think.

You got lots of good advice so I'll just send you some caring hugs, and remind you that I have a shoulder should you ever find the need.

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joelle,

i'm sorry for all you're going thru, and your dear family.
my thoughts and prayers are with you that you come out the other side.

i lost my mom too several yrs ago and still feel the loss.

would you consider some short term counseling?
it helped me very much, especially around grief issues like losing my parents and my job.

hugs to you joelle.

I agree about the counseling - even short term. One of the life altering situations you mentioned would be enough to deal with but all of them at once....:Noooo: Your body is telling you that it's got too much to deal with.

After my Mom passed away just 2 months after my Dad I joined a support group at the Hospice my Dad was in. They met twice a month and I went for several months. It helped some - especially to know that I wasn't the only one coping with a loss. And I met alot of really nice people.

Honestly, I really didn't want to go but I knew I had way too much to deal with and had to do something. I recognized the signs from when I was dealing with Tim's death and didn't want to go down that road again. :(

I forgot to mention that I did see a therapist for a couple of months following my mom's death. She told me that I just need to give myself time :). I feel like such a whiner now, argh! :nopity: I know I'll get better in time but I'm not very patient with myself :rolleyes:. Thanks all :hug:.

Everyone wants to feel good.....and NOW!! :D Nobody wants to feel bad and it's only human nature to be impatient and want to just get on with things. That's a good thing! If you didn't recognize the fact that you're down and that you want to feel better then I'd be worried.

Give yourself time. I used to detest that word (time). Everyone told me to give it time. At that point, time wasn't my friend. But it finally was - and I really didn't realize it until after the fact. :)

You know I'm right here if you need to talk. :hug: Oh, and you're NOT a whiner!! :rolleyes:

wow, you have been through so much. I am hoping you will take time to refuel yourself! it sounds like you have been giving and giving. I too would give to my children till I fell to the floor. some ADs can take up to 8 weeks to kick in and really start to settle in. I hope you are able to find more patience to wait for it. Lots of folks here are reaching out. please know you are loved. :hug:

Joellelee, you strike me as a very strong person, and not someone who would sit around and whine about their problems. Sometimes though, there really isn't anything we can do, and what we NEED is to just kick back and recover. It's part of the healing process.

If you think about it, most of us have to face not only losing our parents, but sometimes even our siblings and/or (god forbid!) children. It's the circle of life, and is inevitable. Of course that hurts like He!!, and especially when the person we love is young ... but you will find your footing again in time.

As far as the current health issues in your family, those are tough to live with on an ongoing basis. Neither MS or Crohn's are pleasant afflictions, but they are something that everyone IS going to live through.

If you weren't feeling the way you have been, I would be more worried about you. You need to grieve in order to be able move on.

I am not sure of your age, but I found my early 40's the hardest anyway. Besides all the health and death issues I was faced with then, there were major economic/financial concerns, the start of peri-menopause, and then mid-life to top that off. (I thought only men went through that, but apparently not. :rolleyes:)

If you have any hormonal concerns, that can really throw things off for you too (late 30's +).

Give yourself a break right now, and keep taking one step forward as best you can!

Cherie

Joelle, I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and hoping that you will be able to start finding some "fun" in every day. Try to remember that you are a "goofball at heart".

Did somebody say wine?

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Count me in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

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How are you this day, J?

Just give me and Sandy a couple of hours with her and she'll be feelin' mighty fine! :D


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