My child is breaking apart!!
 

My son was started on Vyvanse for his ADHD in August because he had burned out at max dose on the Concerta after being on it for a couple of years. He was also prescribed Klonopin because his anxiety level has just been off the charts. So we cut his Abilify down to 7.5, half of .25mg of Klonopin and the Vyvanse.

Lately we noticed that he has been really touchy mood wise. Using foul language more often when he is angry and when called on it he gets worse. I try to let it slide for the most part because I recognize it for what it is because when the storm blows over he is a totally different child. He has become more sensitive to the smallest of slights real or imagined. Day before yesterday he became angry at me for something, guess I kinda pushed him because I didn't realize he was in one of his no go zones. Making faces, childish stuff, he started it lol. Anyway he became angry and grabbed a laundry basket out of my hand and threw it. So I told him to knock it off, he did his what are you going to do which I usually just ignore and he just got angrier and angrier and by this time I am back to folding laundry but I can hear him ranting and raving in his room. Then he is packing his duffel bag, leaving and I won't have to deal with him ever again. disappears in room for a while, comes out in tears and stands in front of me sobbing and asks, "am I a bad son". I tell ya it about broke my heart. I held him and told him he was by no means a bad son, he was a great son who had bad moments and I apologized for pushing him and everything was fine.

Last night was worse, he misunderstood a question I had asked earlier in the evening about the front door being locked so when we got home it was unlocked well it just set something loose in him. He kept trying so hard to make me argue almost physically fight him. I just kept ignoring it and he kept cussing at me. I made his little brother go in my room as soon as it started. He was going in and out of his room and finally I told him to knock it off, just go to his room, well then we get the what are ya gonna do ground me thing. Well this was the weekend for his girlfriend to stay over so I took that priviledge away. He says fine what do you want me to tell her, like it was my fault lol. I said you tell her that you don't know how to act and are rude and disrespectful and because you continue to argue and use foul language you aren't allowed to have company this weekend.

Truly it was awful. I am so glad that the BF wasn't here because my son has attacked him twice already and even though my BF is bigger he does not want to fight him. We have already been there.

So in the meantime I am waiting for that stupid nurse at the mental health place to contact the pdoc to let me know what I should do. I threw out this mornings dose of Vyvanse and I am thinking of raising the Abilify back up because that is always what helped his rages in the past.

I hope someone calls me.

He is at his grandmother's now.

Awwww, that's so hard, Christina. :hug:

It's so hard being a parent, esp. when little things get blown out of proportion. I just shake my head in admiration and bow to you: you are a great mother.

Your son doesn't know it yet, but someday he'll appreciate you and tell you thanks for hanging in there with him.

Hello,
Your med instincts seem right.
I hope that the pdoc called by now -- or at least very soon.

Try to be calm. He'll get through this.
And he knows that you are on his side.

Mari

Sending hugs, and I too think your med instincts are right.

Donna

He is so lucky to have a mom like you.
He will realise that someday; and it will occur to him that you were his driving force for not giving up on him and allowing him to throw his life away at such a young age.

My son is moving back in with his grandmother for a while. Lord forgive me but I hate that woman. I can hear her gloat in the simplest of sentences. She is using her happy voice when she speaks to me. Usually she is hard pressed to be civil.

"Is Brandon there?" I ask. "Oh he's out playing in the rain" she answers in a singsong voice that sounds full of joy and triumph.

He is in such misery after being there for a while but I guess he is trying for his sake to pick what he considers the lesser of two evils.

I could tell him no but he is in such an unstable place right now and there is such chaos here. I think he is afraid that until his meds are right that he may say or do something that may hurt my feelings. Well....done.....and forgiven.

Now I cannot monitor that he takes his meds, she will but at her age she forgets. He will not remember to take the 4 pm meds and after a bad week will just quit taking them thinking that is the problem. They will hound him about school adding to his stress and anxiety.

I am in a way relieved for both of us because when we are together after a while we are toxic. We just rub each other the wrong way. He is exhausting to be around and I love him so and worry about him. Now I am a horrible mother because I feel a measure of relief at the break that I will get while he is gone. The anger that I feel for not being a better mother.

So I sit here and sob and wait for him to come and get a few things. I will dry my face when they pull in and help him get what he needs. Then cry myself to sleep.

Hugs. lots of hugs
 

Dear Christina,
Sorry that you are so sad.
:hug: :hug: :hug:

Mari

You are raising a good boy. I'm sorry that you both have to go through this, but the meds will even him out soon and then he will be back. :) (Does he cycle during season changes? My son does EVERY year...)
Purchase a pill box (they sell them at the dollar store) that has each day of the week printed on each pill compartment. Then contact the school and see if you can drop the prefilled box off with the school nurse and have him come in each morning to take his meds. (or do it for the devilwoman....err, his grandmother) so that she can visually keep track of his medication. (they sell boxes with AM and PM compartments and you can write in the time for each one)

It hurts when they aren't at home. That 2 years without my girls was hell. Just remember that he will be home again soon. :hug:

Hey, that is a brilliant idea -- put the meds in the hands of the nurse. :)

Would that work, Christina?

Mari

He has pill minders and I keep meds at the school for him in case he forgets because he can tell almost as soon as he gets to school whether or not he forgets.

I even bought him a watch that had up to four different alarm settings on it lol, so they would go off when it was time for him to take his meds. I don't know where that one went. HE is a typical teen and loses things, not to mention he is horribly unorganized.

This last bout, when his grandmother was informed by me that he hadn't been taking his meds for the first 3 months he was with her, I pitched a fit and she started filling his minders and stayed on him about taking them. Biggest problem was night dose because she goes to bed early. Now his night dose is at 4 p.m. so I don't see that as being a problem.

I am going to call the dev.....grandmother later and let her know what is going on. She has only heard my son's side so far so I will clue her in. I am sure she will believe what she wants.

I got a copy of the report from the one time she took my son to the psych doc because I had surgery and couldn't and she told him I was self absorbed and a couple of other little things lol. I got a copy of the report from the school. Bitter, mean, ole........Okay God don't like ugly.

So I will take it day by day.

You guys have been a wonderful source of support for me. I feel so whiny lol. When does the drama end? I just want a nice quiet normal life. Is there such a thing?

Sounds to me like you need that break. You've earned it!

My circumstances were very different from yours, but I remember back when friends would ask about my absent teen, I'd just have to shrug. She'd call home about every 6 weeks or so.

I remember thinking, "Out of sight, out of mind." And it was true.

She made some really poor choices for several years, but (thankfully) finally found her way back home.

We are such good friends now. I enjoy her and her cute family so much. :)

I feel it was expressions of love that made the difference. Even when she was breaking my heart, I'd tell her I loved her.

My Mom used to like to quote to me, "This too will pass." She was right.

Just keep doing your best (like you've been doing) and believe that everything will work out eventually. Prayers definitely help. Sending some your way. :hug:

Boy was that kid mad at me. Since he has moved out he called me once for a ride for he and his girlfriend, then when she fractured her ankle last Saturday but he has not once called to chat or check in. This is a first. It hurts. I understand it, that he is growing into a young man, he wants to have his life.

I have been staying in contact with his teachers and his EMI staff. Except for one class he is doing pretty good.

Called his grandmother and asked that she remind him to check his email because I had forwarded some makeup work and extra credit work to him. She was snotty about it but said she would. About 10 minutes later the phone rings and he yells "why can't you just let me live my life" and hangs up. I was so stunned I burst out laughing. How teen typical.

I have been communicating to him through his MySpace lol. Today I finally got a response back.

He seems to be okay, I am okay. Today.

Thank you guys for putting up with me and my rambling. For the prayers and hugs.

Christina

I think its what you both need. To correspond from a distance.

I also think you will start hearing from him more as time goes on.


So keep taking time for yourself, remind yourself he is a teen.

This is the way they act. And of all things Yippee, he is acting
normal for this.

Donna

Sorry about what you have been going through. I hope things get better. Im sure its very hard to deal with. I know its hard for me to deal with a nine year without dealing with the puberty part and the wanting to have the independence part.

Dear Christina:
Just thinking about you and hoping you are ok.
:hug:

Things with son are going okay. Right now I am dealing with a lot of death. He only really is aware of the one that is closest to him. I haven't told him of the many others. He worries about me far too much for that.

Thanks for asking. I am here. Barely.

Christina

If you need us let us know. We are here to listen, and to talk to you.

There have been many death's in my area lately too.

Donna

Donna I am so sorry. It seems almost surreal to me. All this death at one time and the state of the world almost as though I am standing next to a wall and if I lean too much I will break through to this horrible dimension where everything is hell like, crap I am babbling and making no sense and now I have made myself cry again.

Christina

You are making sense. It just doesn't make sense for so many at times,
that shouldn't lose a battle for life, be so young, or even in a case
of just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.


I still am haunted by the Bus wreck that killed the 4 special needs children.
I know that I will always blame myself some for the one boys death.

I also find it useless that the young are dying in car accidents, with no
real reason. Seems lately, everytime I turn around someone I know has
a relative or friend die.


I'm thinking of you. We can ramble together, me in a pity party. And you are welcome to cry if you need.

Donna

Thank you Donna.{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}