Death
 

I am surrounded by death. Lost 2 of our crowd to overdoses possible suicides then find out that last Monday a friend hung himself and my father in law died suddenly last night.

It all feels surreal. I feel like I am in a bubble. I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep until the funerals are all over. One today, one Monday, one Tuesday.

I am so tired. I am afraid to let myself think. Almost numb but not quite numb enough. Wish I could make it all go away.

I feel like things are on the edge of getting really bad here.

i'm so sorry this is all happening.

((((((((((Christina))))))))))

You sound overwhelmed and have every right to be. We don't know each other ,i wish I could be there holding your hand,since I can't I hope you know
many here are in your heart and are thinking of you. Yes you have every right to overwhelmed and I hope peace entereds your heart again,sorry I can't give you more or make it faster,but I will think and pray for you, Hugs
to all. Sue :hug::hug::hug:

I also am sorry for the huge loss you are facing in such a short time. :hug::hug:The feelings you are haiving are normal. the numbing shock of it the wanting to curl up in a ball. all normal. I am so sorry that anyone has to face such a tragic situation like you are. :hug::hug:

maybe you could go to each "service" for a short time not staying all threw each one just going for a little while, maybe you could do that. of corse if you dont feel up to going it is understandable with in a situation like this, the shock and numbing is just so heavy and hard people would understand . you need to take care of you.Please remember that.take care of you first you are the most important person in your life.
please know that all of us here care about you and we are so very sorry to hear the news you shared. it is tragic and hard. we are here for you know this and know we care.
I send my deep sympathy to all the familes all the friends and to you. may God wrap those dealing with this in a healing embrace and lead all of you through this safely.my prayers are being sent.
let us know how you are doing and if you need to talk or vent or just need a hug ..we are here just a click away.
PEACE
BMW

here is a link to our survivors of suicide forum. i post in there and visit there a lot . it may help you . just a thought.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html

((((((((((((((Christina))))))))))))))))))

I can understand why you are feeling this way. that is a lot of sorrow to handle:(

I hope you will have something really good happen to encourage you and help you move forward.

hugs and words of support are all we have but I hope you can feel how much we care:grouphug:

Thinking of you and send peaceful healing prayers.
:hug: :hug: :hug:

Thank you guys for all the support. Things are a bit better here. I don't feel so disconnected. The funeral for my "father in law" is on Wednesday. I am not looking forward to it. He was the sweetest guy. He was an alcoholic and only remembered my name after some prodding on good days after almost 11 years lol but would do anything for you. Seems that often that is the way it is.

The BF's mother screwed up the whole obituary, left out one of my son's, spelled the others name wrong, it was written so that my bf's brother looks like one of our kids. some other family was left out while obscure family was included. Gotta call tomorrow and see if we can fix it. She sounds fine. Horrible as it is to say, she is in her element. The center of attention. I feel really bad for her. She is having back surgery soon and I don't know what she will do for help. I hope that now she will get off the drugs. She will no longer have his family to support her and help pay her bills so I don't know what she will do.


Thank you all for the support.

obituary mix up oh that must of been embarrasing and hopefully it will get fixed and reprinted correctly.. I will be thinking of you on wen. I hope you take a time out for you and get your rest. this is so much in such a short time please take care of you. and we are here to help you and try to make sure you do take care of you. warm supportive hug :grouphug:again we are sorry for the losses. :hug::hug:
PEACE
BMW

The funerals are over, at least for me, the obituary mistake..........so what. I am exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, all I want to do is sleep.

Rest.....heal.....:hug:

I am so sorry ---I have posted loads today, as it is my first day --- had a serious meltdown this morning...but a friend of mine came over today with the news as one of her closest's friends committed suicide yesterday....so thank my God I had enough to be able to be there for her...

( hug from a new person on the site) (((( ))))
Elissabetta

Christina...I am so sorry you've had to survive so much pain. Last week a man who I'd been friends with since he was eleven committed suicide, and I still haven't found a way to put it in perspective. I can barely imagine the grief and confusion you must be feeling. :hug:

I am so very sorry that all of you are having to deal with these things. They can be so very emotionally upsetting, adding to the stress load that you are already dealing with. You are all in my prayers this morning. If any of you need...you can pm me anytime, and I will answer withing 24 hours or less. Please try to get some extra rest if you can. Post and talk about it. That will help....:grouphug:

I hope you were able to get some rest. we are here for you .
Glad the services are all done. now I pray you can start healing . May Gods angels guide you and watch over you. Many blessings to you and yours. get as much rest as you can and eat healthy. :hug: your in my thoughts :hug:
peace
BMW

Welcome Elissabetta and thank you, I am so sorry for your friend. Sometimes when we think things are so bad for us it takes another's tragedy to put things in perspective. You are a good friend

Idealist, my sympathies to you and your friend's family. It really is a hard thing to wrap our minds around. For me I guess it is more a feeling of what horrible things were going through the heads of those that take their lives. Such misery. It makes me often feel so ineffectual and often I wonder how it is that we didn't notice or what did we miss.

I try to think of it as their purpose here is over. That is what gets me through. Especially with my FIL. He was devastated when his mother died when he was young and started drinking then and just got worse, often breaking down into tears lamenting her passing, then his father passed about six years ago. For me his passing was almost a blessing, he got to be with his parents and was no longer in pain, physically or mentally. I will miss him, he was a sweet guy.

As for the others, there was a lot of depression and drug abuse and we all know the two do not go well together even though you rarely find the latter without the former.

Thank you all for your kindness and for those who have lost, my sympathies.