My sister called,and wants me to Move out of their place that they had for me
 

I'm in a very bad place. My sister wants to kick me out of the house that they provided for me,the place that they said that I could live for the rest of my life. Then she said I could live here till my brother in law retires. She called out of the blue,and wants me to move now. I'm devastated. Brokenfriend

I'm sorry to hear your sister is once again making life harder for you than it should be.


Please check your pm's... I'm sending you some info shortly.
Abbie

I wish I had some answers. but I can send some hugs and tell you I;m
thinking of you.

Let us know if we can help. I'll say some prayers too.

Donna

did she say why??
is she and hubby splitting up??
or did they lose a lot of money in the stock market
lose a job???

I always have more questions....:grouphug:

oh this sounds awful....
how can she do that?
She should have given you some notice at least 30 days notice.
She is being so mean to you.
I am sorry.
bizi

HOW UNBELIEVABLY CRUEL. she doesn't sound human
hugs
bobby

I am so sorry to hear this!
Do you have other resources in the area that could help you? Adult Services or the like?
You must be extremely worried. I could try and locate some services for adults in your area that might be able to help.
Will your sister allow you to stay until you can find another place to live at least?

She said she cannot afford to have me here,and my money is running low. BF

I think so. I think it's possible that she's becoming angry at everyone. I don't understand what is in her emotions right now. She has MS. She has allot of anger spread toward allot of people,not only me. I tried to help do some things for her,and she didn't like the way I did them,and she didn't seem to like me. She doesn't like me when I'm not around either. I'd hate to think that she'd try to hurt me on purpose. She called me out of the blue,from the hospital.I live in part of their vacant house.

I will probably have some time to move,but I think that she is loosing her mind. I tried to help her,but she pushed me away.

Adult services would be great. It's been hard to find help hear. Brokenfriend

I am so sorry to hear this. What does her husband say about it? Do you think her ms is causing the moods swings or depression and she is just ticked at the world? Taking it out on you is no excuse no matter how you look at it. MS is not an excuse to act out on those around you, ever. My hubby has ms and wouldn't get away with it and visa versa.

:hug: and :smileypray: to you that you find a place even better than the one your in.

Hi there Brokenfriend. :hug:

I'm sorry to hear that you're having this problem with your sister again. I read what you said about her being angry at everyone, and you're probably not far off the point there. I doubt that she's losing her mind as you suggested, rather she has a whole lot to deal with right now, and isn't coping very well.

It sound like she hasn't come to terms yet about her MS diagnosis, and until she does all you can really do is tread gently. Is she disabled by MS and finding it difficult to care for you as well as her husband? Is she suffering from fatigue when every little thing is a huge effort, and having one more person in the house is just getting too much? Have you tried talking to her husband? I don't know if he might be more approachable; only you would know that.... but it's a thought.

There are stages to any chronic illness, the same as cancer, and even bereavement . It sounds like your sister might still be in the "angry", or "why me?" stage, so is not handling other day to day things very well. The reason that she's lashing out may in fact have nothing to do with you, but because you're there you've become a target for her anger and frustration.

I seem to remember before, that you were trying for a disability allowance. How is that going? Have you followed it up just incase you do need to find somewhere else to live? I think it's becoming urgent that you do follow it up, as I wouldn't like to see you without any income at all, just for the want of some paper work, and/or some phone calls.

Please let us know how things are going, but remember you said you'll probably have some time to move. Try not to stress out, and use the time wisely to find out what services there are out there, and what income you may be entitled to.

Dear Friend,

That is a horrible thing for her to do!
I'm sorry to hear this.
M.

I will look up services for your area as soon as I get to work in the morning. :)

Thank you Sandy
 

When she left her job after she found out she had MS,she didn't leave the place in peace. I believe she angered many of the employees with her anger, and resigned. I've known about this for some time. She was angry at some people when I moved up here into the place that they provided for me. They had a place built out in a country side,a beautiful house,and a pond,and many acres of land. The house is beautiful,and they sued the contractor,and got a hundred thousand dollars. My brother in law has a medical facility across the parking lot where I live. They have renovated some of the other parts of the house for someone to start a little business in there. My brother in law doesn't seem to want to talk to me. He avoids me,and he talks very little. I don't know why he avoids me.

Since I thought that I was going to live here for the rest of my life,my money went into this part of the house for renovation. I don't know what's going on. They just tell me that they cannot afford me. I'm paying the bills that come to me. I'm waiting for the social security disability hearing in February,which has been a long time. I'm getting some help from region 10 in mental health services. They are going to provide a councilor. I still haven't seen the councilor,but have seen a nurse Practitioner who has medicated me more thoroughly.

My brother in Law tried to Sue his former manager,and lost.

I tried to help my sister clean up the house,and she didn't like the way I did it. I tried,but had no experience with cleaning a house. So I did some tasks for her by picking up laundry,taking things to the Post office,and helped her around the house. She had inexplainable reactions,and anger toward me that grew,and grew.

Then she didn't want me around anymore. She said you can pick your friends,but not your family. She didn't like our Mother. She doesn't like dad. Now she doesn't like me. Then she started taking back her promises one,by one. Then she said I can stay here till my brother in Law retires. He's not retiring anytime soon. Now she wants me to leave

A Doctor joined up with my brother in Law,and he soon quit after that,and they bad mouthed him. I suppose that they are bad mouthing me also. I thought that things where going better until she called me from the hospital late this afternoon. She just poured all of this on me like burning coals. I don't know what she think's anymore. I'm sorry that she's sick,and she has pushed me away. Now she wants to take the roof out over my head. She has insulted me,blown all of the little things up,and made mountains out of mole hills ,and accused me of things. I think it's possible that she's losing her mind,or lost all of her compassion.I have integrity,and character,and values. When I was working,I worked hard for my employers. I don't know what to say about this. I'm a good person. I'm in circumstances that I can hardly believe. I feel rejection from the family that hurts.

I've tried to reason with her. What have I done? They moved me up here because of the problems that I was facing in another part of the state.

I feel like they are"Granny dumping"me,and hoping social services will take me, or something. This is so cruel. I can hardly believe whats going on. I don't want,and didn't choose my illnesses,as she didn't hers. I didn't expect a Rejection in the middle of what I'm going through. It hurts very deeply. I hope that I don't freak out with heightened anxiety. I have pain on top of pain now. Brokenfriend

Awwww, I'm so sorry, Brokenfriend.

You can tell your sister that you have an MS friend in Utah that wants to poke her in the nose if she doesn't at least refund you the money you sunk into the place.

They seem to like to sue, so maybe you'll have to speak their language and tell them you will take them to Small Claims Court.

I hope you can hang on until Feb. :hug:

Oh BF, this is terrible! I feel so badly for you to have this just pitched in your face, have you at all reminded her that what you had in money went into this house? Have you asked her how she expects you to survive until the hearing in Feb?

I know it's hard to deal with someone who's self-riteously bitter about being disabled. What do you do? I don't know, I tend to bring shame to mind of these selfish prats. They see ME out there getting out my OWN wheelchair, opening it and getting into it and just running off. They see the face of such independence and acceptance they can't stand it...

I wish I could have ten minutes in a chance encounter with your sister, I bet it would help her, because she's self-destructing right now and taking you down with her, she very well may be loosing her mind...:( I am so sorry this is happening to you. :(

Im sorry your sis is being so miserably uncompassionate with you. Please
keep in mind ms can reek havoc with your emotions. Lesions can effect
parts of the brain which control emotion. You must try to remember this
when you are dealing with her.

Maybe it isnt the ms, maybe it is some other form of mental illness. People
with ms can be inflicted with more than one health problem and mental
illness can be common between family members.

And maybe shes just a meany.:mad:

Anyway, I just wanted you to get an ms perspective on this. If
you have questions, Im sure someone would be happy to help you
over in the ms forum. They are real nice over there.;)

:hug:s to you ...........whatever is happening, Im sorry it is so difficult
]to deal with. good luck.

Temporary Financial Assistance
(These can help with costs to get you into a studio apt. and have access to homeless services as well)
CARES 434-220-0800
Greene Skyline CAP 434-985-6066
MACAA / Louisa (540) 967-9522
MACAA / Nelson 434-263-4035
Salvation Army 434-295-4058

(Definately call both of these numbers and explain the situation in detail. Both of these will have lists of available services and know how to go about obtaining them.)
Fluvanna Department of Social Services 434-842-8221
United Way Information and Referral Assistance in Virginia 800-230-6977

I have a call into the children's center for your county to see what other information they could dig up for me as well. I'll let you know when I hear back.

She called this morning
 

She told me that they can't afford for me to be in this house. She called Region Ten (Virginia Mental Health) services in my area,and told them that they are fixing up the house to sell it. She did not tell me this. She said that she cannot afford to have me here.

I can't believe whats happening. My case manager at Region 10 knows about it now,and is going to search for a apartment in the next county. I said I can't afford one. She said they can work on that too. I here that there is a waiting list. I don't think any of them are telling me all the truth. It will cost me what I have in the bank to move.

I have permanent fixtures,and hobby radio antennas that I'm going to have to take down. This hobby meant allot to me. It's all I had. I worked a couple of years in placing,grounding,and working everything together.The only reason I did this was because they told me earlier that I could live here for the rest of my life. BF

Thank you Bdix. I'll make some telephone calls. Thanks. Brokenfriend

Brokenfriend

I'm so sorry things are happening this way.

I have a feeling things are getting tight financially for them, just like
many of the rest of us. Not that its a reason to treat you the way
they are.

I also wonder if maybe they are having problems paying her medical
bills. I know that I'm really struggling with mine.

Donna

Dear Friend,
I grieve for you.
Moving is hard even under good circumstances.

Even though an agency might have a waiting list, they move people up to the top of the list when they have an emergency.

M.

I forgot but I heard what Mari said also. This might be an opportunity in disguise. I know what you are going through is terrifying besides so painful. I am sorry she is your sister.
bobby

:hug: BF :hug:

I wish I could help.

Yes, agencies do move you to the top when you need to find new
places.

So this could be a blessing. You can make this a blessing, its
how you look at it.

Donna

Dear Friend,
How are you feeling?
Do you have a counselor to talk to about this?

Mari

Yes, I'm wondering how its going too.

Also hoping you have someone to talk to about this.

Donna

Hi Mari
 

Not yet. They are still going through the paper work. They have known that I need a counselor for several months. Last monday I called the emergency hot line to talk to a counselor 3 times at Region Ten. Right now I'm alone facing this. Thanks for your concern.

My sister called region ten,and talked to my case manager,and I see my case manager Thursday to fill out more forms. In the mean time this is eating away at me more,and I'm not sure how long I can take it.

This is the absolute truth,and I'm not sure why my sister is wanting to have me put out of this extra old house that they have. She knows that I'm running out of money,and she said she isn't going to help me. I've heard two different things about what they want to do with this house.

She became angry when she became more ill with the MS. I'm sorry that she has the MS,and I tried to help her with cleaning the house,and doing errands for her. In the last six months she seems to be getting some sort of hostility toward me. I've backed away,and try not to talk to her.In the last two,out of three phone calls,it was like she tried to start an argument. In one of those calls,she was fussing,and I had to quietly put the phone down on the receiver.

My Social Security Disability hearing is in February,according to my Lawyer. I talked to my Lawyers Paralegal on friday about this situation. She could hardly believe it,and she was a little upset about it. It surprised me that a Lawyers Paralegal cared. Maybe I talked to her when she was tired.

This has been one of the most degrading times in my life,and I've had emotional problems since I was a teenager. This is very embarrassing,degrading,and the Rejection in my family is to the extent that I can hardly believe that it's happening.

For her to call me out of the blue to have me move leaves me disgraced,and sorrowful. I don't know where to begin. I've started throwing things away. I'm tired. I'm aggravated. The thought that family is doing this to me,hasn't fully hit me yet.

In taking the Seroquel,has slowed me down,and I don't want to move yet. I'm not emotional prepared to move. I can hardly think about it. They don't listen to my problems anymore. I feel so alone in this. I hope that I make it through this.

I feel bad for talking about this situation like this. Thank you for caring. I'm not trying to create a drama. This is real,and It's not fair. Brokenfriend:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Brokenfriend,

I am praying for you and hoping that an easy solution comes our way. Please try to not take the hostility of your family on yourself. Its terrible that people lash out at others when faced with issues and I pray that your sister changes her mind or that a solution can be found. You are in my thoughts. :hug:

Thank you Shelley
 

I hope that your husband is going to be alright at his job. Gosh,I understand. I really do. Tell him that I say,"Hi",and that It's not his fault. Some bosses lash out with cruelty,and they don't hold back. I hope that you all have a fine evening. Brokenfriend:hug::hug::hug:

BF would they feel different if you could get Section 8 income assistance? I did this with my dd and it was a God send for sure. she also Qualified for some onside assistance for housekeeping which helped me out. Never got to see that part happen, but the section 8 was an answere for me to have her close and income from my property.

There was a lease, so she could not be put out, when winterazation redid all window and doors, I could not, nor would raise ehr rent. So through ehr shehad a better place to live and I knew she was taken care of and not my money draining.

I am thinking about you and saying a prayer.
:hug:
di

Thank you DiMarie
 

I'll look into that. She's not in a good frame of mind right now,and it's understandable. She's been in the Hospital for two weeks,and now she going to rehab for two months,she tells me.

I'm not very sure what she's thinking. Honestly,she told me one thing,and told my Region Ten department of mental health case worker something else. I'm not calling her right now because she is angry,and been that way for a long time at many people,and our parents. What I'm going to do is ask my case worker what she said,and work from there. I'll also ask her about Section 8. This could change my sisters mind. I don't know though.

Thank you for the idea about Section 8,and thank you for the prayer. I'm going to say a prayer for you,because I know of you grief,and our Father in Heaven knows just how deep your grief is,and his grace is with you. Bless your heart DiMarie. I know that you are hurting,and God is close to the broken in heart. Brokenfriend:hug::hug::hug:

Dear Friend,
You are getting some good ideas here.
Please know that we care about you.
M.

I agree with all that has been said.

And want to add. None of us want you to stop talking to us about
this or any problem. Its just as important, and in many cases
more important than somethings we have happening.

Such as when I get mad at my husband. Even more important
than my gallbladder right now.

Donna

That is odd. ok do not take this the wrong way. But your sister should of given you a two week notice at least. She sounds like you can not depend on her. I am sorry you are going through this. I have had family do mean things to me too. So I do not depend on them at all. I flat out refuse to depend on anyone. I only depend on myself. Stay strong, I am not sure what your living situations is but I hope you find another place that benefits you :)
fevah

She told me out of the blue that she wants me to move. I assume she was saying she wants me to move maybe in the two months that she is in the rehab. I live in a part of their old abandoned house.

She may be monitoring my posts. I don't know.

I'm seeing a Mental Health Case manager soon. I think that she's trying to see if she can get this going faster then we had planned.

I haven't even had my Social Security Disability hearing yet.

There is a waiting list for places to stay.

I don't think that she is in her right mind.

She moved me here,and then turned on me,and caused division,and alienation. The whole situation is strange,and has something to do with something that is going on in her. She is full of anger more then anyone I know. I will never put my trust in her again. She has also told my Dad some things that where not correct.

This hurts me,and I wonder what I'm going to do. This also makes me angry,because I've been slammed by my own family. I would have never moved up here if I thought that she was going to do this.

I'm sorry. I'm just getting this off my chest. BF:hug:

Let it out. You have the right to be angry. I would be angry too! Me however I tend to get really mean, cruel and spiteful when my family slams me. I literally slam right back at them. Which I do NOT recommend. I have had my family get so frustrated with me that they told me that I am a hypochondria. They tell me I do things on purpose. I literally tell them to go f off. And I also tell them if you want to be a part of my life then you need to accept me. If not then I will live my life with out them. But even though I said that and hurt them, I hurt myself as well because I do love them.

I know you love your family even though they may slam you. You are hurting. No one truly understands unless they have it themselves.
At least you can get support from your friend :)

Ok I am such a bad example. I say a lot of things I should not say to my family even if they make me mad. I should not say certain things regardless! So I apologize for my nonsense. It is part of me I have to work on.
Thanks:hug:

Thats so true. We who have these problems are misunderstood. Evidentally people who are mentally healthy do not understand what we are going through,whatsoever. It might be considered being week,but it is not that way at all. It's a affliction that scientists can prove exists by brain scans,and etc. It comes down the family tree. It is very complicated,and real. They know volumes about these things now,and are discovering more knowledge every day.

I even wonder if vaccinations have altered our emotional state of being. What is it? Why do so many people struggle with these issues? Did these problems exist in the middle ages? Did anyone ever have a panic attack in the 16th century? BF

OH!!! LOL We all make mistakes. We are all human,and sometimes it's good to confront a person who has wronged you.

In my sister's case,I can't reason with her. She exerts her opinion over everything that I say,and judges me,and overreacts,and holds a grudge,and reminds me later. There's no use in saying anything in these circumstances. It would just start a family war,or something. I just leave it alone. I only talk to her briefly,because I know it's going to spin out of control. BF