Pet Rules
 

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door -- their nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note: placing a paw print in
the middle of my plate does not stake a claim for it nor do I find that
aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --
canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like To Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2.. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture.
(That's why they call it 'furniture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, they are adopted children who are
short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
01. Eat less
02. Don't ask for money all the time.
03. Are easier to train.
04. Normally come when called.
05. Never ask to drive the car.
06. Don't hang out with drug-using friends.
07. Don't smoke or drink.
08. Don't have to buy the latest fashions.
09. Don't want to wear your clothes.
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

Thank you for the much needed laugh!!

ROFL! Now I haven't seen that one! Too cute and funny!!! :hug:

Bravo. Funny and all so true. I wish someone could explain Pud's obcession with all of my bodily function. He does not come when called but follows me to the bathroom each time. Shutting the door does no good as he has figured out how to open a closed door as they all have handles instead of door knobs. I am not supposed to lock interior doors as I tend to fall and the EMS folks don't want to knock open a locked door.

While there are moments when my little buddy just about drives me nuts, he is a delightful companion and keeps me stimulated and on my toes. Since I don't get out much and get few visitors, I know my depression levels would sky rocket without him. I have a needlepoint sign in my living room that says "cat hair is an accessory so stop complaining."

I think
 

cats all have a gene in their DNA that requires entry into human bathrooms!

In fact they don't like ANY type of door, that is closed:p

Bruna always follows me into the bathroom and insists on being picked up and held. :rolleyes:

Its nice to read other people's pet stories, then I don't have to feel like my baby and I are too neurotic...LOL :p :) :wink:

Okay, so it's a genetic thing. That makes me feel a bit better :winky:

Pud amazes me. He HAS reached that stage where he will not accept a closed door for any reason. Thankfully, I got him quieted down before he aquired the door opening skill. It is amazing to see him jump up, swat the handle and push the door open in one motion. It's very impressive. Hopefully he will never figure out how to unlock the front door. :eek:

well, you could consider
 

the next challenge to be the refrigerator? :p

Male cats seem to be more like this...open doors, etc.

We had a friend who had to lock up with a LOCK the cat food kibble bag, because her Tom would chew the bag open. He would open any door and drag it out and spill it all over the floor!

Neither of any of the females we have had will do this. We can leave the bag out right next to the cupboard and they most they will do is rub on it to ask for fresh. (anything a bit exposed to the air is considered "stale" to them.--they are always wanting fresh)

I keep the cat food and litter in a garbage can in my closet. Once he learned to open doors he would tear open the cat food and litter bags and make an absolute mess in my closet. So far, he has not figured out how to get the lid off of the can. Stay tuned. :rolleyes:

And here I was thinking it was only MY dog that needed to be in the toilet and bathroom with me(he is now with all his other friends in the big sky paddock up above)