Eat what's put in front of you
 

I've been chatting with people lately who were pretty much raised the way I was: you eat what's put in front of you without fussing about it, and be glad you have food.

When my kids were little, my ex-husband said to me, "Look, I'll eat at least a little of anything you put on my plate as an example for the kids, but I just can't do green beans."

So we made a policy that everybody got to choose one food to refuse when it was served. Ex-husband chose green beans, my daughter chose peas (I think), and my son chose spinach/chard (he wanted to choose "anything green" but it didn't fly).

There were things that took the kids a very long time to eat, like my son cutting the "skin" off one slice of zucchini, removing the seeds, slicing it in little wedges like a pie, and choking each little piece down while making gagging sounds. But they had to have at least a token amount of everything else but the chosen evil food. The system served us well.

B2Y,

That's a good method! :) When I was a kid, the youngest of six, I had to fight for the good stuff. The bigger kids had a further reach than me, lol. If I didn't like something, I don't recall if I ate it or not. I think I was always ravenous so I worked out a system. I ate the worst stuff first and saved the best for last. I still do that today most of the time, lol.

I tried to get our boys to eat healthy, but there were things they wouldn't eat. Now they're coming around and actually like a lot of veggies and salad and such. When they were babies they loved strained veggies. Funny how it ended as they grew. :confused:

well I was raised same way BTY, eat or go to bed hungry, so we ate. my kids were raised same way, the boys had a friend who was rude when it came to dinner he would say oh i dont eat that or like that and yep you guessed it my answer was too bad, thats dinner, like I tell my kids this isnt a cafe

I am sure it was easier for me, I liked everything, so that wasnt an issue with me, my kids were also good eaters, and debbies kids loved my cooking so it worked out pretty well for us, hopefully they wont let their kids control whats for dinner

We were good eaters also but no way would my Mother have made anything other than what was served for dinner if we didn't like it. Thats probably considered abuse now a days, lol.

lol Jules that or grounds for divorcing your parents, lol oh my, my pa would of knocked into next week if I ever tossed that at them lol

wizbethcathy do those dogs even look happy, lol, they really dont lol, where did you get the pic? are these your pups?

growing up we were told that we had to eat what was on our plates or that plate would be breakfast the next morning ... i would literally become ill on the nights we would have liver but i would eat it anyway cause cold liver for breakfast is worse ... i finially got to the point that if i cut it up tiny and smothered each bite in a ton of gravy and swallow quickly i could get the whole piece down without having to repeatedly leave the table ... my boys were raised that they had to at least eat two bites of whatever they thought they didn't like ... 9 times out of 10 though they found they did like the item and would eat it all ... lol ... kids sheeesh

lol deb just like how sean doesnt like cheese or butter lol want to bet he just doenst know he does, like chris not liking mayo another enlightening moment in his life oh yes you do like it

I love liver and onions no one here does which bites

I don't remember ever not eating anything my Mom served....which probably explains the extra weight!!

My boys usually ate most everything....there were certain things they never developed a taste for and still don't eat. With Kevin, it's mayonnaise. With Matt, it's mustard. And neither like black olives. I don't either. And Kevin won't touch a tomato but loves spaghetti sauce!

But, I usually fixed enough so that there was something that everyone liked. I never remember throwing anything away (that's a sin!!) or having alot of leftovers so they must have liked it!

I remember my mother making lentil soup. We had to sit at the table until it was all gone. As an adult I found out even my father hated it but because my mother liked it, we all were forced to eat it. I will never, never eat lentil soup ever again!! My daughter pretty much eats everything we do. If we are having a vegetable my daughter dislikes, then she eats her raw veggies that she loves. Requires no extra work so I don't mind.

That was a pic someone sent me in an email Frank. No they didn't look happy did they? The poooooooor little guys.

I love tomatoe's but can't stand tomatoe soup.. Hugs to all Sue

It was no problem with me, the only thing I wouldn't eat was brussel sprouts. However, that has become my major problem. I like nearly everything :eek: :Starvin: -- except that I will not eat thick pasta. It has to be angel hair pasta, or I won't eat it. And, I still hate brussel sprouts!

One of my grandsons would only eat mashed potatoes for about six months. His parents went along with it (this was when he was two). Now he is nine, and he is a good eater.

I am fairly strict about a lot of rules, but must admit I am not so strict about food.

We never had food in our house, growing up, so I never really acquired a taste for it. I eat now only because I wouldn't sleep if I didn't, but I really don't desire food too much. I could live on toast, actually ... but always eat what's served at other people's houses.

It was hard to be strict, when I don't eat. :rolleyes: I've always cooked good meals for the kids, but never sat and ate them myself (I always told them I ate at work). I have one daughter who will eat almost anything, and another who eats very few things. The fussy one eats things that are good for her (well, except noodles :cool:), and would be quite happy if I made a mixed or ceasar salad every other night, alternated by sushi the other.

I had a hard time with the fussy one, and did keep meals for her if she didn't eat them. The problem was that she would still refuse to eat, then go to daycare the next day and fill up there. She figured that out VERY early on. There are many nights that she will eat ONLY the salad, or ONLY eat the meat (HATES cooked veggies, only raw), so feeding her has always been a challenge. She is trained to at least take as much of "something" at other people's houses, so that it looks like she has eaten a meal . . . even if it is only the salad at the end of it. :rolleyes:

I was forced to sit and eat at home, WHEN there were meals, but I could sit there till the next day. Guess I know where my daughter got her stubborness from.

Cherie

I remember the "you must eat half of everything" rule when I was growing up. We didn't have dessert that often in my house, and there was no other food to be had if you didn't eat what was cooked. But to make sure we got enough, we had to eat at least half of the veggies as well as the meat.

Luckily my grandmother was a great cook, since her house rule was "clean your plate". :)

kind eerie as kids we didnt have a lot either, so there really wasnt too much of a choice. I see others have had same experience to deal with, not much to put on the table, kind of weird in a land of plenty to have naught

everyone will hate me here but I dont make kids eat what they dont want.
My parents made me do that and I threw up asparagus all over the table.
They never did again.(I still cant eat and hate the smell of asparagus.)

I tell them they at least have to take a bite. I always put out a bowl
of raw veggies that I know they will eat. If they like what Im making and
dont eat the veggies, they go in their lunch the next day so no waste.

At times I feel like a short order cook. but its okay. Now my older sons
will eat lots of things so I guess it will all work out with my littler ones.

Okay.........throw your rotten fruit at me.*ducking behind sofa*

I can't imagine anyone would care that this is your way of doing things. Especially your kids, they got it good! :)

I recall eating some of the boys' food if they didn't want it. :rolleyes: Also, one time we were at a Ponderosa brunch buffet. DH put some whip topping on some canned grapefruit sections. Our oldest son, then about 2 yo, wouldn't take a bite. DH put a bite in his mouth, and DS heaved in his high chair tray. I warned DH about force feeding, lol.

Sox,

I can't remember my kids ever really disliking something I cooked so badly that they didn't eat it....but I always tried to fix what I knew they liked so we didn't have that problem.

I totally understand what you mean....you want your kids to be happy and enjoy their "supper time" and not have it be a battle of the wills. I've felt like a short-order cook at times, too. But, I'm just thankful to be able to cook and to have someone here to cook for! :)

Now that my boys are grown we're friends as well as family and I truly believe it's because they always felt like their opinions were/are valued in our home and that what they said and felt really mattered.

Very good points, Kelly.

Cherie

Your comment that I bolded is rather confusing Cherie. You never had food? What did you live on?

We had food battles when I was growing up. My mom was never a good cook so that added to the problem. We were required to eat everything that was put in front of us. That's the way my dad was raised and he would eat anything whether he liked it or not.

He and I would sit at the dinner table until midnight some nights when mom would serve peas. I could not eat them. Could not get them in my mouth. My punishment would be grounding me for a week. That never lasted because I was the oldest and drove everyone to school or their activities because mom couldn't. Finally, dad pushed me too far one night and I threw up, that ended the battle. No more peas. Thank goodness. To this day, I pick peas out of everything...any kind of peas.

Brussel sprouts are great if they are cooked right. MIL cooks them for days (I think) and they are horrid. Can't eat hers. And I don't care for creamed corn and I hate rice. I will eat it in stuff, but not by itself. We used to have it for breakfast a alot cuz mom was not a cook. Cooked rice with milk and sugar was about the only thing she could make for breakfast. It was easier than oatmeal! Go figure!

Childhood memories form adult phobias of food...I am convinced of that. But I also have a lot of food allergies so there are some foods that I just cannot eat due to allergies...:(

I ate what was put in front of me - if I hadn't I wouldn't have been given anything different - and my husband was brought up the same way - we were never asked what we wanted -we were expected to eat what everyone else was having - my sons ate supper way before their father got home and one of their favorite remembrances is me saying 'just shovel' - always wondered why my shepherd would station himself under the table at dinnertime - I hated to cook then and I hate it now - sons are both excellent cooks so something good came out of it -

Mostly toast, and what I scavenged from other people's houses. :(

My mom was a full blown schizophrenic, and dad an alcholic who wasn't around much for the last several years (before he died when I was 11 yrs). Mom tried to support us, but on a secretary's wage (where she kept getting fired), it didn't go far.

You could look in our fridge and cupboards on any day (except payday) and find ONLY:

- milk
- tea bags
- bread
- butter
- sugar
- potatoes

... and maybe some wilted carrots or some other un-recognizable veggie. I never ate breakfast, I never took a lunch (at least from gr 3 on, for sure), and I usually ate 6 pieces of toast after school. Sometimes friends would have me over too . . .

My mom came home from work, and went straight to bed for the night. She never looked at one of my report cards, and I forged her signature for everything that came home. I'm not sure how we got away with it (maybe everyone in the community "knew" about us), but they stopped calling to say I skipped school by the 8th grade.

I moved out when I was 15 and supported myself by cleaning, cooking and doing laundry for a home of 12 people. I graduated too (and went on to get a diploma in Human Resources years later).

Kids are very resilient.

Cherie

Sorry, Cherie, I didn't mean to pry. :hug:

I do understand.

Wow, Cherie.....you overcame alot and have much to be proud of. :hug:

Absolutely! Bravo for you! :hug:

That's ok, Cheryl . . . my "stories" often require a bit TMI in order for others to understand. :rolleyes:

Thanks Kelly and TT. I became very self-sufficient, and have done everything I've ever wanted in life. I don't have any regrets, even if things weren't always "perfect". :D

Cherie

My mom was never strict with us about food - not by the time I came along. She started off a little tougher - eat what's on your plate - but one of the older kids had a food allergy.

Mom figured if we were that set against eating something maybe there was a reason for it. She'd have us try a bite then let it go. After all there were six of us and somebody would eat it.

She didn't make us go to bed hungry either- if you didn't want dinner, there was peanut butter, you made yourself a sandwich.

Not so much that she spoiled us (although she did) but the doctor advised it as my brother and I were under weight. I barely hit 20lbs when I started school.

I follow the same rules with my kids and granddaughter; I have them try food but if they don't like it they are not made to eat it. Funny they usually get used to the taste after a few tries. The ds did turn out to be allergic to the same things as my brother though. And there is still peanut butter.

Oh Cherie,
Your story reminds me of many of the children I care for at the hospital and it gives me the hope that keeps me going back. I just know that some of them will overcome their horrid beginnings. You are living proof.
Hugs,
Jules

You won't get through to ALL of them, Jules, but what you are doing WILL make a difference for some. It's worth it, and they will remember your influence!!

Just don't sweat the small stuff over what they do/don't do . . . but I'm sure you know that. :hug: :)

Cherie