Humiliation, cog probs, & crying
 

On Wednesday dh and I had our bankruptcy hearing :(. I'm embarrassed to even talk about. Well, we get to the courthouse and of course there isn't enough disabled parking so I had to walk way too far with my rollator. By the time we get to our floor I'm already exhausted. The hearing room was full of other people and their attorneys. Everyone can hear what you say to the judge :(. As soon as I sat down I started to cry :o. I could not stop no matter how hard I tried. When our turn came, about 20 minutes later, we sat at the table with the judge and she looked at me and said 'you have MS, don't you?'. Then she said I wouldn't have to talk at all. Thank goodness for small favors :). I still kept crying though, quiet crying, but my nose was running like a faucet, yuck. By the time we were done, I couldn't even look up when we left the room. It was just so humiliating. I know this is from my MS. I seem to have a problem with controlling my emotions lately. Stress...duh. As for the cog thing, a week ago my dh and I met with a financial adviser at our home for an hour and a half. Two days later I was at my dh's work picnic and some guy talked to me for 10 minutes like he knew me. I played along :o. My dh told me afterward that he was our financial adviser! I did not even have a vague recollection of the gentleman's face :(. Also that week, I left the water running in the bathroom sink the entire time I was putting on my make up! I didn't even notice this at all. Dh came in and turned it off and looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Now I'm scheduled for another mri. These cog problems scare me more than anything else about my MS (except for possible blindness). Thanks in advance for reading this far. Nobody understands more than all of you :hug:. Oh, btw, I read, do crossword puzzles, play scrabble, etc. to try to keep myself mentally sharp. I wish there was a med to help with this symptom.

Aww, sweetie, I'm so sorry about all this. I'm gonna call you tomorrow morning....let me know when's the best time or if tomorrow's not a good day.

I have the cog problems, too, sometimes. I'd get confused about simple things...like where to look for something or where to put something once I was finished using it. Also, with word recall. Since I've been on LDN it's gotten much better. Not sure if it's because of the med or if I was going to get better anyway. I don't care....it's better and that's all that matters.

I know of some people with MS who are on Aricept. It's not prescribed specifically for MS but it can help with cognitive problems associated with MS and other diseases. Your doctor might suggest that. You might want to do some Internet research on the different meds available for cognitive difficulties so you'll be familiar with the side effects and names. I'd print out the info on the ones I was interested in. I have to print everything out if I want to remember it!! :o

I hope that after this election is over you'll find that you're better. I know you've been volunteering countless hours and even though you're not physically taxing yourself the mental overload can cause havoc to our systems. I hope you can get some much needed rest after all this is over. :hug:

Three more days................:rolleyes:

Thanks K :). I have been doing way too much these past couple of weeks (mainly campaign volunteering). Yesterday I went out canvassing (to 'get out the vote') on my scooter with my son and his girlfriend. That's my last event, if I can control myself, LOL. I've thought about Arricept and I'll talk to my neuro about it. Call me tomorrow morning, I miss ya! I have the feeling that I won't be able to sleep at all on Tuesday night :o.

Oh Joelle, I am so so sorry you are going through this awful time:(. MS really stinks and it makes life stink, sometimes, too..:mad: It sounds, to me, like you may need an AD, or if you are already one one, to up the doseage.

I was on Paxil and now Prozac...I like the Prozac better, now, because it gives me a little more energy and Yes, I am on LDN, too. I know that they are both helping me, to be more alert and less tired. Add some LDN to your trick bag..:)

I hate it, when my Friends are hurting..:( Please, get some rest and feel better soon..:hug:

I bet everyone there also felt like crying right along with you. Sending you tons of hugs. Jules

:hug:

((((Joelle))))

Joelle, Sorry you have been going through so much.:hug: I want to thank you for the work you have done in the election. The cynical side of me keeps worrying about the outcome.

Me too, Barb. I think that's why I've been myself so hard. If I can reach just one more voter, that's what goes through mind. 2000 was so close in Florida. God save me from myself, LOL.

Hello Joelle:hug: you have been through a lot this year, emotionally and physically. you could still be realing from everything. Try to take it easier and dont beat yourself up over the cog, it will only make it worse, I have been where you are at. the fog will lift:hug:
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Stress makes my cognitive boggles even worse. I can't imagine what I would be like in your situation--I probably wouldn't even know my own name or be able to speak other than gibberish.

:hug:Joelle:hug:

Thank goodness you had a compassionate judge! Sometimes they can be real...well, you know. Sorry you had to go through all that...

I've done the same thing with people when you see them totally out of context. I had the same thing happen to me the other day at the grocery store. Ran into someone I have known for 10 years. We chatted, she called me by name, talked to me for about 15 minutes and for the life of me I could not think of who she was. I felt like an idiot. It finally came to me when I was driving home and passed her office! She's the president of the Chamber of Commerce!!! I worked with her husband on several projects and her son owns a nursery in Reno! Maybe she didn't notice...:o

Hopefully after Tuesday, you can get some rest and things will settle down for you.

I have also heard that Aricept works...maybe you can talk to your doc about it.

You've been through a lot recently, don't be so hard on yourself. You need to take some time for YOU...:hug:

Cog Fog is not fun or funny!

You need rest!

Glad the court thing is over.

Lots of :hug:

Awwww, Joellelee, take it easy on yourself. And you're right: we DO understand. :hug::hug::hug:

Ya shoulda been here tonight when my granddtr (2) got a little flashlight and shined it on the floor. Then she chased it saying, "Come back here, wight!"

Keeping you in my prayers. (((Joellelee))) :hug::hug::hug:

Stress really does a job on my 'cog-fob'. I can't believe the difference it makes when I am nice and relaxed with no worries. It's almost like being a normal person. Except I can't remember what normal means anymore. My normal of 15 years ago is long gone. But I'm talking about my normal since MS.

Aww Joelle. I'm crying right along with you.

I feel your pain and your humiliation, cos I've been there too. Not quite to the extent that you have, but almost. I understand how you must be feeling.

You and I have shared too many not nice experiences this past year, but at least we understand each other a little better for it.

Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts.....:hug:

That must have been very difficult, Joelle. You got through the worst of this though now, and things will start to get easier. You are almost done this very difficult part in your life. :hug:

Joelle, I am concerned about the cognitive struggles you are experiencing. I have gone through that myself, particularly when I've been under considerable stress . . . so it's not all that unusual for us. However, I do think you should mention this to your neurologist if things seem to be getting worse, because you are on Tysabri.

It is very unlikely there is any connection, but cognitive and leg coordination problems are the two things I remember should be checked into.

Big hugs, Joelle.

Cherie

I hear ya with the stress and cog problems. When I was getting a masters degree I used Aricept because of the stress and the problems I was having with my memory. It helped tons and I was able to get through the rest of the program despite the stress.

Bad thing for me was that I ended up with some of the side effects--nausea, diarrhea or frequent bowel movements, and vomiting (mainly dry heaves). Lost 20 lbs while I was on it, which was a nice bonus but felt cruddy eventually when the nausea/vomiting got too bad. Luckily I was near the end of the semester.

Maybe you can try it and see if it works. My insurance wouldn't cover it--it was off label use and studies proving it improved memory in MS didn't matter to the company.

:hug::hug: Hang in there. Hope it calms down for you after election day. I'm a poll worker (for the election board) tomorrow and have to be at my voting place from 6:00 a.m. until probably around 10:00 p.m. and then take all the voting material down to the county office. Not looking forward to it, but it's important to be involved.

Thanks to everybody :)! I feel much better now. I'm done with my volunteering for the time being. I've gotta take care of myself first. I also wanted to let everyone know that my neuro knows about the cog issues, that's why he ordered the new mri and possibly a neuropsych test, Argh! :hug: to all!

Hey there! I'm dealing with a lot of cog issues right now, too. I just got done with the neuropsych testing to see if there is a decline. My neuro said that depending on that testing, there are a couple of different things he could try med wise. He mentioned ADHD drugs and I'm thiniking the other one could be an Aricept or Namenda type of drug.

I don't remember if you are on or have ever been on Provigil. It stopped working for me, but one thing it did was help with mental clarity. That is another option.

Hey, don't feel bad at all about the emotional stuff. I think it all bubbles out when we are overtired or stressed. I have been a mess myself a lot lately and I think I'm just stretched too thin and think I'm having a bit of a flare up, too. I bawled my eyes out for hours on Saturday night for being too tired to finish helping DS8 work on a project, clean the kitchen, fix a decent meal, etc. Then, something reminded me of my mom and I was just done. I couldn't stop crying.

Are you coming back up to the "Burgh" for Thanksgiving? If so, we will have to meet up. Maybe even get a few other locals together for a board get together. That might perk you up.

You've been through so much :hug:

I agree. Those cog and emotional issues can rise up at the most inopportune times. Glad you had an understanding judge. :hug:

Keep us posted about the MRI and stuff. :hug:

thinking of you Joelle. I hope things get better for you and that you feel less overwhelmed.