Wow I am now scared
 

I was watching some youtube videos on Bipolar disorder and it has made things more clear for me to understand my mania episodes and so on so forth. I have always thought my behavior was normal. But apparently it is not normal for a person to talk to loud like me. And that is probably why people do not like being my friend a lot in high school or when I was younger and college too. I have worked hard on not yelling or talking so loud.

Well this lady was talking about ECT Electroconvulsive Therapy. She had 7 of those and is feeling better and still has to get it done because she is suicidal. I do not know about you guys but that scares me so much! Not that it will happen to me but I really DO NOT WANT THAT HAPPENING TO ME IT IS SO SCARY! I am afraid of that treatment. It looks so abusive to me and immoral.
What do you guys think of that.

Sharla

I'm sure that people are put under for the EST these days. I understand how you feel though. I also understand the talking loud as I do that also; however, I believe there are people who would accept us for the loud talking.

befuddled2

Not many people have accepted me for my loud voice :( It is hard to control.
And the est is so scary. There is no other way to fix these things?

Sharla

Hello,

Here is my favorite site about bipolar
http://www.psycheducation.org/index.html

It has scientific articles along with articles that are not scientific.

I'm sorry to sound dumb, but I am not sure what you are worried about. Are you saying that you are finding that bipolar can be worse than you thought?


Bipolar is the most treatable mental health condition.
I feel lucky that I have had good drs and good treatments these past 20 years.
(The hardest part about bipolar is getting the right diagnosis. Some people are sick for 10 years before they get a diagnosis.)

Regarding ECT:
It works sometimes.
It's long term side effects can be headaches and memory loss and a few other things.

Regarding loud talking:
Loud talking could be caused by lots of things.
I have never heard that it is a bipolar thing.

Do you talk loud when you are upset or worried or do you talk loud all the time?

We can get through bipolar.
It takes work.

Mari

Please take a deep breath....
we will help walk you thru this new path.
I agree with mari 100%.
ECT treatments are usually the last resort if all other medications, therapy, alternative avenues fail.
Most people who are bipolar find that with the help of therapists, doctors, good nutrition, stress reduction, medications and supplements....their moods stabilize. WE willl always have ups and downs this is normal...but for me with meds the ups and downs are not so up and down...if that makes sense.
bizi

You all are going to think I am nuts but hey I have to get this off my chest.
I was part of this church back in 2004. In the past I was into witch craft and did not believe in God and all that stuff. In 2004 I have had weird things happen to me like my body was being possessed and stuff. So I gave up witch craft because I was tired of the nonsense so called spiritual encounters. After that I joined a church. I got saved and decided to rededicate my life to Jesus Christ. Then two weeks later I woke up at 2am with the most horrible feeling. At the edge of my bed was a white figure, staring at me with it's black eyes. And it a nut shell it attacked me so I could not speak or move. But when I prayed it went away. So are those Hallucinations? The Church told me that because I used to be a witch this is what happens to me. They also told me that the devil is trying to get me for leaving him.
I think the reason why I am scared is because in 2004 and 2005 I have heard voices before I go to sleep. And I saw things that were really weird. When I pray with my ear plugs in I heard a male voice say No! And that happened in a all female dormitory. I then read bible versus out loud and took my ear plugs out. I did not hear those voices again.
I have seen a lot of things that would make you all think WOW GIRL IS A NUT CASE!
I do believe that they were real because I no longer see them anymore. Ever since I started going to the Lutheran Church all the voices and all the demons left me.

Is there something seriously wrong with me.
I am currently not having these issues at all at the moment. I has been few years since I have heard these voices or seen so called demons.
No one in my family has scizophrenia.

Sharla

It's ok. Really.
 

Hi, Sharla

Regarding seeing things:
This is common believe it or not.
It is common all over the world.

One name for it is "sleep paralysis."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

Look at the pictures. Artists have tried to duplicate their sleep experience.


also

http://watarts.uwaterloo.ca/~acheyne/S_P.html
Sleep Paralysis and Associated Hypnagogic and Hypnopompic Experiences


http://watarts.uwaterloo.ca/~acheyne/prevent.html


Regarding voices before you fall asleep:

I used to hear voices before I slept. My old pdoc did not think that it was a big deal. He explained what was going on in my brain at the time. He had a perfectly good reasonable scientific explanation for it. I half-believed him.

Taking good medications helped both of these go away.
So did prayer. So did a few other things that I do.

Are you still going to this same church that is acting like you brought this stuff on yourself?

People who say things like that to someone who is suffering make me angry.


I'm glad that you are better now.
This has nothing to do with being schizophrenic or psychotic or bipolar. It is a sleep issue mostly.

Mari

Dear Bizi,
 

Bizi,
Did you have any of these hallucinations while you were sleeping or in bed and awake?

I'm sorry that you had those experiences.
Going through that can change a person.


Mari

oh wow.
I never was put in a hospital when I went through this. Just pray and they went away. I had a feeling that it was hallucinations :( But the church told me that I can see the unseen. And they kept telling me that over and over again. I did not feel special about it. And I am very skeptical. I went through a lot of the Mania in 2004, 2005 and from 2006 on and off. I would hallucinate on and off. The medications I have tried in those years were Prozac, Effexor, buspar.
They must of made me really manic. When I moved to MI to live with my mom I would get the crying spells where i could not stop crying at all. I would cry for many many hours. I was in such a bad stress house hold that my poor brain could not take it any more and I just cried for hours and days. I would sleep for 13 hours or more sometimes I would sleep the entire day away. It was a good sleep. But I know it was not normal. That was my manic right there. As I went to school things got better and I felt better asl well. And so with I tried to go on some meds and had a bad reaction to zoloft and Ativan. So I gave up meds. I refused to take them because of the dangers it did to me.
So that was my experience.

Sharla

Dear Sharla,
Thanks for sharing.
Those medicines were recipes for disaster.

I'm sorry you had to endure that.

Mari

Talking loud
 

I didn't know that talking loud is a symptom of being bipolar. I talk loud when people are around. I've talked loud until I've lost my voice.

I personally don't believe that you where seeing things. I've heard allot about this kind of thing. If it happens again,quote scriptures,and pray some more.

You are not Nuts. It's also a biochemical problem in the brain,mostly. BF:hug::hug::hug:

It's good that the seeing or hearing things have passed. Was that before you were on medication for Bipolar?

I need to go back to church, I need to have more faith.:)

Anyway, as far as the Electric Shock Therapy, I too would think it would be a last resort. I am really afraid of it,:eek: I think it was used much more years ago when some of the medications that we have now, we didn't years ago.

What medications did the p-doc change you to? It takes time for the Dr's and your reactions to meds, to get the right cocktail of meds, so hang in there. Tell your p-doc EVERYTHING.

I am BP II so I am more the depressive side. Although, I have had mania and other things before my diagnosis and medication. I still get loud too.

Keep the faith, it seems to help so many people feel good. Keep posting and let it all out, we are here to listen, support you, and give our experiences with many things we all have been through.;)

Take care.............thinking and praying for you. You will get through this.

Hugs, NIkko:hug:

Yeah No kidding! No wonder I was going through all that crap! I was on the misdiagnosed! And on the wrong meds. lol I am ok. You know come to think of it I am a very TOUGH GIRL if I have endured all of that! :D
All my life my family told me how I am not tough. But you know what? I AM REALLY TOUGH!:cool: Shows how much they know:p

But I have to say I am tired of having to be a tough girl.
I don't have to be tough any more because I have help and I am healing :)
You all are

I am so glad I am not the only one who had that experience :)

Sharla

Yeah I was diagnosed depressed and they told me that I needed anti depressants. So they put me on prozac and effexor and buspar and all that crap that gave me mania real bad. This year I was finally diagnosed properly thank good ness

thank you so much!

Thank you everyone. I think I am going to be ok now that I have a better understanding of what is going on. I feel it is less scary now and I also believe there are ways to help prevent certain manic episodes from happening in the first place. Like I can sort of control it better since I am more educated. I have control over my anxiety attacks to the point, I can drink coffee and other caffeinated things with out having an attack. And if I do have an attack it is seldom, and very small and I do not freak out like i used to.

Thank you all for being so supportive to me and helpful. Thank you for sharing your stories with me and giving me information in which I really did need. I had no idea at one point of my life I went through delusions and some psychosis. And to go with out treatment and lose faith in medicine for years because of all the pain it has done to me. I have to tell you that it took a lot of guts for me to take that Lamictal with out worrying about it doing something strange to my body that may cause me to go nuts or scream bloody murder for no apparent reason. I was scared of having those break downs like I had last time. On zoloft and Ativan I got so panicky that I screamed for my mommy. I was 22. My step-father told me to Shut the H### up and grow up! That was so hurtful to me when he said that because I was so scared and he had no idea what it is like to feel what I was feeling. I was in so much pain that I could not cry. And my skin was turning yellow too. My mom saw my skin was yellow. That day forward I told myself Never take medicine again EVER!
I am glad I can trust medicine again. I feel there is hope again in my life.

Thank you all so much:hug:
Sharla

:I-Agree:You are a very strong woman.
(((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

I really think this thread should have a trigger icon on it. But it's too late.

On the face of it, ECT does sound bizarre doesn’t it? Who would have ever thought that this was a sensible way to treat a mental disorder? But remember the advances that have been made in medicine. This is not One Flew over the Cuckoo Nest. Yes they make you have a seizure but it’s a controlled seizure and with the muscle relaxers they give you it’s like a twitch. And you’re sound asleep through the whole thing. Sure something’s going on because you hurt like heck the day of treatment but it’s all controlled.

Many doctors believe that severe depression is caused by problems with certain brain chemicals. My pdoc told me ECT causes the release of these chemicals and, probably more importantly, makes the chemicals more likely to work and so help recovery. It’s even been said that ECT can stimulate the growth of new blood vessels in certain areas of the brain.

Why would anyone want to have this treatment? It’s simple:

1. several medications have been tried but have not helped
2. the side-effects of antidepressants are too severe or you can’t take them like I can’t
3. your life is in danger because you are not eating or drinking enough
4. you are trying to kill yourself

It is used for people with severe illness who are very unwell and whose life may be in danger. As with any treatment, ECT can cause a number of side-effects. Some difficulties with memory are probably present in everyone receiving ECT. Yes my memory is not good and I have lost some skills but I’m alive.

Depression can for some people be very severe and life-threatening, with extreme withdrawal and reluctance, or inability to eat, drink or communicate properly. Occasionally people may also develop strange ideas (delusions) about themselves or others.

I’ve had ECTs twice and they’ve saved my life. Maybe it was the last resort but it’s gotten me through the rough patches.

Keep in mind that 15% of people with severe depression will kill themselves eventually, and doctors feel that ECT has saved patients' lives, and so that the overall benefits are greater than the risks. It’s not barbaric, inhumane or immoral and I’m not going to let this upset me because it saved my life and I'm not ashamed either.

BJ
 

Thank you for clarifying that. I thought that the ect mostly hurt you. I'm glad that it helped you. BF

I can put a trigger icon on the thread for you....:)

Thanks for letting me know. I do not quite understand the trigger icon is for. But I do not mean to make it sounds so horrible. It is just I am new to all of this and I never knew about it before and because I have never heard of it before my brain (which is sick btw) causes me to be afraid of this. And my brain right away thinks it is wrong and stuff. But like I said before I am totally new to all of this. I have never knew this existed. This is a whole new world for me.
So if I have offended anyone on this thread I hope you all forgive me.
But to hear you talk about how you have benefit from an ECT is now less frightening. It has saved your life so it can not be all that bad either. My mom gets cortizone shots in her back every few weeks. She hurts like hecks days after the shots. But then days after she is healed from the shots and the meds start working she feels way better! My mom was very afraid of the shots. Perhaps it is considered normal for someone like me to be afraid of a lot of things.

Sharla

Oh no! You have not offended anyone. You have not done anything wrong,and It's good to talk about these things. You should see some of the things that I've written. I've spilled the beans.LOL

That trigger is for anyone who is very sensitive at this time,or sensitive to certain content,to let them know that the content that they are reading is more then they might be able to handle right now.

You did nothing wrong. Keep posting Fevah. We love ya. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Bj, dear girlie,
I am so glad that the ect treatments saved your life.
Look at what amazing work you are doing....
this is hard work and you are worthy of this work.
You also get to decide how you live your life...
it is your body.
((((HUGS and love))))
bizi

DITTO ...................to bizi's post!!!!

:You-Rock: Niikko:hug:

Oh ok! Thank goodness. I will from now on pay better attention. LOL I am glad everything is ok :)

Sharla

Oh yes!
 

Your fine. Nothing to worry about at all. LOL You can keep asking questions,and talk about whats bothering you here. That's what this forum is for. BF:hug::hug:

I am so glad I can talk to you all like this.
It is really hard to keep it all in. I explode when I do and it sucks!

sharla

Fevah
 

I know what you mean. This forum is very helpful. Thank goodness that it's here. It's a good support system. BF:hug::hug:

To Yellowfever
 

My Doc is exasperated, running out of options to treat my depression and practically insisting on ECT, so I'm trying to FIGURE OUT what I think about it. Changing Psychiatrists is not as easy as it sounds in a small town, when you have a phobia about driving to a big town! So if I decide not to follow his recommendations long enough, and he opts not to treat me for this reason, I'm . . . up a creek without a boat TO paddle. billie:eek::eek:

To Yellowfever Re Churches and Apparitions
 

Who knows what causes these things. I guess that's why they have a book call Psychosis and Spirituality where numerous pdocs and similar experts debate these issues. I liked Mari's explanation of sleep paralysis and have, in fact, had various forms of this. I just changed churches to avoid having a complete nervous breakdown for reasons similar to those you cite. Bless you and keep on doing what's good for you. billie

Meds
 

Dear Billie,
Do you want to give us a list of the medicines you are on at the moment?
And a second list of all the meds you have been on?

Maybe someone here would have suggestions for how you talk to your pdoc.


M.

Yes, Billie... ECT is not something to rush into, for sure. And new treatments are coming or different combinations might be out there that you haven't tried.

As for our "dear" psychiatrists need a little "input" from their us at times. Also, some are a bit traditional... (stodgy?) :p Others might not even be aware of some off-label things worth trying.

So, do please give it a shot... what Mari said.

Let us see if and how we can help. Both with suggesting meds and with suggesting ways to approach your pdoc, ultimately to obtain the best care for yourself.

((( hugs )))

~ waves ~ of hope :)