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-   -   Did you feel better after you retired? (https://www.neurotalk.org/multiple-sclerosis/59267-feel-retired.html)

Blessings2You 11-09-2008 09:09 AM

Did you feel better after you retired?
 
I ask this with hopeful expectation.

I have had a couple people with other chronic illnesses (RA & Lupus) tell me that they felt physically better after retirement, no doubt due to less stress, less fatigue, less everything.

I fully expect to go through the stages of loss (already getting a head start) but I'm wondering about the experiences of you who are already retired due to medical limitations.

I'm really, really hoping that after I get done work (*sob*) I'll have more energy and less anxiety and all. Tell me your stories, good and bad. Were you "better" after you retired?

weegot5kiz 11-09-2008 09:27 AM

yeah physically yes, but as you know what i am going through now so some times mentally not so great but that's not MSbs so its irrelevant, yes my MS bs did ease up, and or wasn't being affected by working stress body stress ect...., seems like i had a bit more energy too

hope that helps some:hug:

Kitty 11-09-2008 09:36 AM

Well, I didn't really retire...I had to stop working due to the MS . But, my job was so stressful that I really didn't have a choice. I was working 60+ hours a week and running on fumes. Some of that was my fault, too. Just trying to keep busy.

I did feel better after I left work. In fact, I had no idea how really stressed I was until after I had left. I feel so much better now...it's amazing.

Yeah, I miss the social interaction but I do not miss the constant drama that goes along with working in an office environment. It was ridiculous.

I thought I'd miss it more than I have but I've been pleasantly surprised!

weegot5kiz 11-09-2008 09:39 AM

same here Kel I had no idea how much work was influencing my MSbs till after i was done

FinLady 11-09-2008 10:27 AM

All my docs think I look much better now that I've left the workforce. My neuro even commented on it the last I saw him, saying that, despite the MS stuff, it was the best he's ever seen me look. We talked and he agrees the stress of my job (even at part time) didn't help matters before.

On my good days, I still sometimes wistfully think of doing a part time job. Then a bad day hits to remind me why I'm not working. It's been an adjustment for me to not work, but I'm really starting to see it as a good thing. It took a few months for me to get to this point, I'll admit, but things are looking up. :)

Earl 11-09-2008 11:03 AM

I think it depends on how you retire, by choice or by mandate. I was forced to retire about 5 years ago due to my MS.

I was a work-a-holic. I loved to work. I made a medium income but could support us. I did not plan well for when the paychecks would stop.

I think that my stress is much higher in retirement because I don't have an off-shore bank account with a gazzilion dollars in it.

I wish all the time I could work again, mainly because that would mean I wouldn't have MS.

The bottom line is NO, I do NOT feel better once I retired.

Gazelle 11-09-2008 11:09 AM

I was disabled for 16 months after a car accident and lost my job in the process. It took me quite a while to adjust because a lot of my identity was wrapped up in my ability to work. So I didn't look at it as a relief.

That said, it was. My stress level decreased greatly and I was able to enjoy doing the little things because I had time to do that. Once I let myself realize that I was a person even if I couldn't work and that was ok, that I could contribute to society in other ways, I was fine. But boy, what a mind adjustment for me.

I was a bit of a workaholic and was very involved in the community. Working full-time, volunteering at my kids' school, president of my neighborhood community group, going to school 3/4 time.... yeah, it was tough to adjust. Now I stay a lot less involved. Plus, I can't take the stress. Work is enough for me right now and even that is more than I can take sometimes.

Dejibo 11-09-2008 11:10 AM

it took a while, but yes.

I was forced to retire after a fall. it was a horrible fall, and I couldnt reach the minimum standards required to regain my work spot. I missed my job, I missed my co workers, I missed being useful, and had to learn a whole new way of life. it took some time to learn how to live without being on the clock.

As the years have ticked by, I see a dramatic change in my energy, stamina, health, and over all attitude. Had you asked me in the first year, I would have said NO! but after some time to learn how, I vote yes, everytime.

Gazelle 11-09-2008 11:27 AM

Yeah, what Dejibo said--that's what I was getting at. ;)

SallyC 11-09-2008 12:37 PM

I chose to retire from the workforce years ago although I keep our business books through 2003. DH semi retired at 62 so my job was less difficult than it had been.

I do not miss the stress and turmoil of running our own business nor do I miss the stress of the outside workforce..:(

Now, when I think about having to go back to work, I :vomit2:. :D

YES, I am much better off now and love it..:hug:

karilann 11-09-2008 12:45 PM

Working
 
They say men define themselves by what they do.
Women define themselves by their relationships....so maybe men would feel differently than women?:confused:
Anyway, I felt much better after I "left" work. I neither retired or was let go....I quit. It didn't matter in my job whether I worked one year or one hundred years....I would get no retirement benefit anyway.
So I opted for my health and I have much more energy and am far less stressed. I am able to do the things that before was too tired to do.
Fortunately I have a monthly income from another source that sustains me. Otherwise I might feel stressed out (which would be defeating the purpose)
I worked in an office environment also and the drama and pettiness were getting to me. My 75 year old boss was getting forgetful and would blame me and my MS as if I was the one losing it.:mad: And he'd make reference to it to other employees behind my back.
If you feel like you love your job and the people you work with, then it may be very hard to give it up.
But if it is stressful, then you will feel better.:winky:

AZjanie 11-09-2008 02:10 PM

Retirement is wonderful and I highly reccommend it! :D

I had to retire early because of neurological issues as I couldn't count or think straight...still can't.

I left the office politics behind and my business suits hang in the closet.

Most will be donated to a group who collects business wear for battered and underpriviledged women so they will be able to go on interviews and feel good about themselves.

Another plus for retirement; I have found charities to work for so guess I am still working. :confused:

Blessings2You 11-09-2008 02:36 PM

Thanks for all the input so far, and keep it coming!

I should have been more clear that yes, I was specifically asking those who HAD to retire because of health issues.

My granddaughter (18) said to me, "You must be so excited!" She's so young. She couldn't be expected to realize that it isn't a happy thing not to be able to do the job I love any longer.

However, her comment did trigger something in me, and I'm trying to ease over to her perspective and see the exciting things about being retired. (I didn't mention to her that she might have to support me someday, so she should get a really good job. :D)

NurseNancy 11-09-2008 04:13 PM

i kind of saw it coming. i was a FT nurse. the physical/mental demands were incredible. i was also very heat stressed because i worked with new and sick babies that were always under warmers.

i was crashing and burning fast. once i finally knew it was inevitable i went to see my neuro. he ordered some functional capacity testing and documented everything. good thing too.

i applied for ssdi but it took about 18-24 mos to get it.
i was paying for cobra and thank God was living from an inheritance or i would have sunk for sure.

but, to answer your Q; YES. i did tons better after the stress of my job was over. my BP had gotten up to 166/106. i'm sure some of it was from the tremendous physical effort i was forced to make. and, my days off i was dead. i couldn't hardly do tasks of daily living because i didn't have the strength. and i was working 13hr days.

i did go thru a lot of grief too. i had worked for 35 yrs. nursing was my life.
but it got better as i began to realize how relieved i was not to work.

it will all work out. you will find your footing. it will be for the best.
you will be glad you stopped.

akimbo 11-09-2008 04:34 PM

Loss of identity
 
Great to read all the replies because I have the same question. I have worked in health care for 30 years. Most of the time I liked the actual work but hated the politics. Now that I'm thinking I may have to leave my work I'm feeling sad about it. On my bad days I've always been able to look at patients and say to myself--what I have is nothing compared to that sad case--and that has kept me going for a long time...and, oh yah, the paycheck! I look forward to living a more peaceful life and I trust I will find a sense of worth in other ways. Big hug to everyone in our position. :grouphug:

Blessings2You 11-09-2008 07:17 PM

The reason I think I'm (eventually) going to feel better is that my job literally takes 100% of my energy--guess how much I have left to have a life?

Like Judy, I spend my days off recuperating, and then it's time to go back. I think I'm going to like having a life.

I wish I'd saved some money, apparently having figured I was ten feet tall and bullet-proof, and would be able to work until age 65 or 70. Duh. Oh well.

NurseNancy 11-09-2008 11:15 PM

if my experience helps anyone let me share it...

when i knew i couldn't keep up at work i really thought i could prolong my work life by going partime. i went to HR to check with them. i knew that i would give up my benefit of LTD if i went PT.

i had worked there 18 yrs and paid for the benefit the whole time.
well, i went to PT and that didn't work. i had to quit. and i lost the benefit of LTD so ended up with nothing when i left. except my pension which wasn't that much.

just something to think about if you might be in my situation.
don't lose your benefits.

doydie 11-10-2008 12:15 AM

It is just totally unexplainable how much better I feel since my 'medical retirement'. I now that if I were trying to continue to work along with my MS that I would have several exacerbations due to the stress and no telling what kind of residual I would have had. But quitting was the best thing for me. I quit during an exacerbation so I didn't have to think about it.

I really feel God was giving me a good swift kick in the butt. My work, nursing, defined my life. I had been a nurse for almost 30 years. Loved every minute of it. I was a nurse first then a Mom then a wife. Not the right sequence! I have more energy, have the ability to see my daughters and see both my grandaughters being born. I was able to stay with my daughter for a full week after each girl was born. Now how in the world could anyone schedule that while they were working full time? I can help out with my Moms care. Life is just a whole lot better since I quit work.

But it didn't come easy. I had my days that I cried because I missed it so much. Your proffesion has this living energy that pulls you there every day. Then all of a sudden it's gone. So you just have to fill it with something else. One of my favorite things about nursing was the education I did of students, new nurses, patients and their families. So I still try to educate wherever I am. Even if it's in a grocery store line or telling some one about MS. Oh, I love to tell my husband what to do sometimes!!!!

When I had neuropsych testing the doctor said something that hads always stuck with me. I had been talking about difficulty with word finding and forgetting things. He said that all my memory is still in there. It's just that during times of strss, whether it be physical, emotional or physiological, that the diseased myelin pathways will only let so much go through.

lady_express_44 11-10-2008 12:49 AM

For me, I think it helped that I could make the decision and then follow through over a long period of time.

Admittedly, I did not give into medical retirement with grace. I first downgraded my career aspirations, then limited my hours, next worked from home for 2 yrs . . . before I went down, still kicking. Even then, I originally only agreed to STD, then "temporary" LTD, as I really struggled with facing up to permanently leaving the workforce in my mid-40's. There was so much more I wanted to do. :(

After feeling sorry for myself for about one year, and going through the difficult "paperwork" process, I finally reckoned with the fact. It WAS, without a doubt, the best thing I could have done to reduce stress, find peace of mind, and protect my health as much as possible though.

It'll take time to adjust, but you will feel much better when all is said and done. :hug:

Cherie


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