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Empty nest is creeping up on me
DD is turning 19, and leaving to serve in New Orleans with a church organization which repairs and rebuilds homes damaged by disasters.
I am so proud of her. I recently found out that, in 5th grade, she wrote a paper for school regarding plans for her future, in which she already indicated that she wanted to do some voluntary service after high school. She will be the third generation of people in my family who has spent a significant amount of time volunteering through a church agency. But, it's hard to let her go. She plans to go to college out-of-state next year. I grew up in Canada, met a Kansas man, and have spent my adult life in Kansas. It's often been hard to be so far away from my family, and, I know that, when my daughter leaves home, that it is possible that there will be events which may also lead her not to return permanetly to her home town. I've already spent a couple of decades away from my family. I hate to consider spending another couple of decades doing this with the next generation. My son is a senior in high school, so he will likely be going off to college soon, too. However, he plans to stay closer to home, and remain in the state. Thank goodness for cell phones, and email, and other things that make keeping in touch over long distances easier than it used to be. ~ Faith |
Faith, I'm glad your daughter's found something that she wants to do and which makes you proud of her.
As my kids have gotten their own lives and have matured, I find that they find ways to stay in touch that surprise me. Both have married. Now I have a DIL who calls me "Mom," something I won't let my kids call me and I like it from her. She's a sweet girl and my son loves her a lot. And I have a SIL who will send me a text or e-mail me and he'll call me occasionally just to chat. So it's strange--they've gone away but I've gained so much more from it. And though they've had to stretch and grow and we've had our bumps along the way, things are ok. They're good. And we've come to terms with the fact that we're different people and that's fine. So don't think that they're going to forget to come back or not think of you when they're not there with you. They won't. You don't have that kind of relationship with your kids. :hug: |
Faith sorry about the empty nest blues:hug:(catchy title for a song). I know it isnt the same but do you all have web cams you can chat via web with yahoo and other servers and skype which is a free phone calling service via the internet and you can web cam chat via skype too, again sorry about the blah feeling, but at least you know you know ya did things right by the kids:hug:
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faith I too am sorry about your blues...and I have a few I could send you for weeks at a time...hehehehe I have five kids...one is crying right now...as I type....so your pick....ages 15, 13, 9, 3 and 18 months...for a week, month or heck maybe few months..not sure I could handle too long...hehehe but wanted to sacrifice for you and your empty nest lol...
all kidding aside...hugsssss and love, think of the things you can do for YOU..once empty nest time comes.....things maybe you couldnt accomplish..or time alone to read....or whatever may be..hugsss,sarah |
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~ Faith |
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Those are some good ideas; thanks! ~ Faith |
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I've dreaded, for a long time, my kids growing up and moving away. I always especially enjoyed the little kid stage, but also enjoyed the middle school and teen years. (Although, I gotta tell ya, age 18 was sorta tough sometimes. They think they're entitled to all kinds of extra privileges, and, haven't quite grasped the concept that, with privileges, comes responsiblity.) I'll miss not only her, but also her friends. ~ Faith |
I hear ya faith...I will so miss it..all...well I have lots of years though to go...but wow does it go fast...as my oldest seems like the other day was a baby...and he is sophmore year at high school...your right the friends thing too...you get attached in their lives with the friends and all....youngest is 18months...so I got 17 years left haha....so I will surely feel your feelings though..I just know it...but some of me will be ready for golfing with hubby more often....( if I am not too disabled..with whatever I have that is undx lol)
hugssss, sarah |
Time to volunteer at the child care facility at your church . . . or to get a puppy.
Be thankful there are no grand-kids yet. :D You have raised them well, they are caring, and they are healthy. I pray I do such a good job, and my kids are always well enough to go where-ever they want that brings them peace of mind. I understand how lonely it is though, as my kids are not home much now. They both travel a lot, and are very involved, so my house is often without much activity already. Mine are only 12 and 16. I live vicariously through them. :) Cherie |
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I also volunteer 3x a week at a local elementary school in the 5th grade classroom. And, I'm looking into applying for a substitute aide position at a local child care center. We have a cat; I'm not a dog person. ~ Faith |
I've gone through empty nest syndrome several times...when my youngest, the only girl, left for college in a neighboring state, I went into therapy...it helped me so much.
She's decided to stay up in Wis...:( but she visits often, and calls a few times a week. My second son has never come home to live once he graduated...he's now in Baltimore with his wife working on his PhD...doesn't call much, only see him 1-2 times a year.:( The other two sons live in the area...each has moved back home at one time or another...unfortunately, once I'd gotten used to an empty house and actually enjoyed it. We now call our house a bed and breakfast.:rolleyes: I can only tell you to allow yourself to grieve for awhile...then it's time to find out who YOU are...we do live through our kids, and their friends...it actually makes it harder when they fly away... that's why you need to find out about you now...take classes, join a bible study group, book club, photography, computer classes, all these things that will make your brain grow... good luck...:hug: |
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I'm already grieving losing the third job since 2002, due to MS, and now going on disability. Because I am no longer employed, I have picked up some volunteering (as I said, church, and elementary school. Also, a couple of nursing homes.) And, I'm active in church in other ways as well; we have a lot of support there. Taking classes is not in our budget, with our now reduced income, and 2 kids in college next year. Also, I just can't hardly justify taking classes that cannot lead to furthering a career that no longer exists. ~ Faith |
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I'm already grieving losing the third job since 2002, due to MS, and now going on disability. Because I am no longer employed, I have picked up some volunteering (as I said, church, and elementary school. Also, a couple of nursing homes.) And, I'm active in church in other ways as well; we have a lot of support there. Taking classes is not in our budget, with our now reduced income, and 2 kids in college next year. Also, I just can't hardly justify taking classes that cannot lead to furthering a career that no longer exists. ~ Faith |
Well, we did it. We dropped DD off at the airport. We met in the youth room at church before we left with anyone who wished to pray and send her off. And, of course, I cried.
Silly me! ~ Faith |
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:hug: |
DD called last night to let us know she made it, her luggage made it, etc. Her gate was easy to find at the Dallas airport when she changed planes. No problems with flight.
In the volunteer house, she is in a room with 2 bunk beds. There was one roommate today, and two more should be arriving tomorrow. Her roommate happens to be from my hometown, in Canada, which is over 2000 miles from New Orleans. Kind of a cool coinicidence. ~ Faith |
That IS a great coincidence. :)
As they say, the Lord works in mysterious ways. ;) |
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