What more can I handle...................HELP
 

I am feeling better. I made a mistake by moving in to a smaller house in my complex and getting back with Dirk. He conned or played me, he was all nice and everything was great.

Well, since the day of the move, all hell has broken loose. My friends noticed the change of his behavior that day, he was rude to them and yelling, his friend too. He is drinking more and everything is his, HIS HOUSE, and it's you better DO THIS NOW!!!! Screaming in a drunken rage, which puts him in a paranoid, jealous mind set. I am surprized the neighbors did not call the police over the weekend, I really am.

I had my bedroom door locked with my dogs, and he said if I didn't open it, he would bust it open, so I did open it. maybe I should of let him, then when the cops would of come, they would see the drunken stupor he was in and a broken door and taken him away.

Throwing me out, calling me everyname and then some in the book. My name is on the lease too though. Threating me if I don't do this, he will throw my stuff out and things like that.

Now, here I am totally TRAPPED. I will only leave the house when he is at work.

Said he is sick of being a zoo keeper, meaning taking care of my dogs and birds when I was in the hospital a week ago. Said he didn't want the dogs on the furniture, oh his furniture,most of the things in this house is mine. He even screamed at me when I was in the hospital over the phone about the animals, telling me he wasn't going to give one of my dogs his medication.

Says I don't do anything around here, well first of all, some things I can't due to my lower back. Then I was in the hospital and then in bed recuping, not knowing if I was going to have to go back to the hospital.

Yesterday, I steam cleaned the rugs, cleaned the birds cage, dusted, etc.

He said if I don't have the spare room in order (because we still have boxes with things in them, that we have to find room to put, most of it his.) He would start throwing things out, starting with my laptop, when he gets home.

My dogs are a wreck, they haven't eaten, hope they do today while he is at work. My female shakes when he yells, my male goes outside and just looks in through the doggy door afraid to come it.

This morning, I told him and took my keys to my car. You can't take MY car, just like this is YOUR house. He asked where my dogs pills where, I said I have them I will take care of it, you don't need to be zoo keeper anymore as he says.

I told him if he thinks that the spare room is going to be all set up nice, he can forget it, and if he thinks he is going to start tossing things out, there will be a problem.

He was very humble and timid, and said I am not going to do anything. Damn straight. He had been drinking all day Sat and Sun, so he must feel really crappy, yesterday he had the shakes, so he went on to get drunk and nasty again.

Bottom line, I am TRAPPED, no way out. I don;t have the money to just pick up and get moved, never mind finding a place that will take 2 dogs, well there probably are places, but no matter anyway.

I can't believe I was so stupid, yet I was in a vunuable state of mind in Aug, and really I still am to some point with all that has transpired.

HELP.................thanks for letting me vent. Hugs, NIKKO:grouphug:

Nikko:
Go talk to the landlords of your complex. Explain the situation and tell them that you don't have deposit money ect.... but that since you have been a good renter with them perhaps they would move you into a different unit without the expenses. I'd talk to them. Landlords do not like to lose loyal renters.

This man sounds extremely controlling. You do not need that in your life. See what the landlords can do for you.
B-

Bobi's advice sounds so good...I am so sorry. This bipolar makes us so vulnerable....
Hugs
Bobby

I wish it was that easy. I just moved due to my mom's death, and they didn't give me any break on the transfer fee's, because it's company policy.

The only was I was able to get out of that lease is because my mom was on the least and she died.

The other thing is, the one bedroom's aren't always available, there is always a wait, even with the 2 and 3 br units. I don't even know if I can afford a 1br in this complex. I am spinning my brain, thinking of ways out, talking to friends and all. I am a total nervous wreck, but I can stand up to him when he is sober for sure. When he is drunk, I don't even bother, but he keeps it up and up and up, even though I don't respond because I know it's like banging my head up against a wall.

I emailed my DV counsler to set up an appointment, waiting to hear back from her.

My friends do not want to have anything to do with him, and I don't blame them. They are worried, but I don't know. He hasn't hit me, but he came close, because he was so drunk and really wanted to, but didn't. He knows I will call the police. If I do that though, then he comes back gets his things, restraining order goes into effect, and once again I am left with all the bills, which I can't handle, and will make him either much more angry, or a wake up call, but with the booze involved, I think he would go nuts.

At my wits end. This sure is the cake topper for me. I don't know how to get through this right now, there has to be a way.

Thanks for the advice though, I may try it, but I know what they will say. It's not the leasing company, it's the Corporate office rules.

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

Just praying...................

Nikko,

Ask you DV counselor to help you leave and if he hits you have him arrested.

befuddled2

Nikko

Please do talk to the company you are renting from. Maybe they will
have a idea. Or keep you in mind if they come up with a idea.

Also I would have the neighbors call the cops next weekend if
he is drinking.

I hope you can figure out something for the dogs too.

Donna

I am so sorry he is abusing you.....mental abuse is harder on you than physical....IMO
THis really sucks and he is a criminal as far as I can see.
It hurts to read your words....
I am so sorry.....
wish I could help you some how....
YOu are a strong woman and have been thru hello this year.
you will figure this out, I jsut know that you will nikko.
Now is the time to take care of you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Thanks, he was very timid, humble yesterday after work, telling me he is sorry and will cut back on is drinking. I said there are no more "sorrys" heard that before and nothing changes. As far as cutting back on drinking, that is just words, a joke. Told him he needed Detox and then help. He said I know sometimes I am a ***-&^*, well ya think, that is no excuse for his drinking. He said I don't want you to leave. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH::mad:

At first he called me on his way home from work asking if I needed anything, like nothing was wrong, I was stunned, and said what do you care.:confused:

Today I see my DV counsler at 11:30, she mentioned there are some options out there, that I don't know about. I sure hope so.

He didn't drink last night, but that was all for show. He is sleeping in the spare room, I got most of my stuff out of there. I am so glad it was a quiet night, and I am glad he has to work the Holiday too. Not that I am doing anything anyway.

I just want out, I don't care if I have to live in a bad neighbor or one room at this point, as long as my dogs can come with me.

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

Nikko

You are doing a good job of getting information to make the changes
you need to. I believe you will succeed.

Donna

Maybe it is time to move back east?
I know that you miss it.
(((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
bizi:hug:

Nikko,
I hope that things improve for you.
'Sending lots of hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug:
M.

Nikko
 

I'm sorry to hear that. It sound's like the drinking that he's doing is sparking his immaturity. That drinking causes so much heartache for so many. I hope that things are better soon. BF:hug::hug:

Hi,
I met with my Domestic Violence counsler yesterday, which helped. I have to call this other person on Monday that takes care of helping women move out of situations of abuse.
Breaking this lease is no problem, due to the situation. I will have to fill out some paperwork.
I was given a list of places to look into to live, or if I find someplace else that I can afford.
They give you the money for the first and last months rent, if I qualify.

Then the moving is on me. They have to make sure I am able to pay the rent and the other expenses on my income, before they approve anything. Like electric, cable, food, car ins. Etc.

I hope to get an appointment soon with the women who takes care of living situations for abused women. Plus, I see my DV counsler again next week.

In the mean time, I will go look at these places on the list and see what I can come up with. The list has the ones that accept dogs too. She also told me to look over in mid-town, between the East side where I live now, to mid town which is half way to downtown. Not a great area, but they have some small cute houses with yards, it is cheaper over there. That is just a hit or miss, depending on if you see a sign for rent.

Dirk is all nice nice, but I am not buying it, at all. I only speak when spoken to, no conversations with him. He keeps saying how he loves me and all this crap, well you don't treat a person like he has when you love them. He has no idea of any of this. Nor will he until everything is set in stone, then when he see's me packing and the move day, I will call the police if I have to, he has to let me go.

Moving..............have to figure out how I will do that once everything is in place. I will only take the things that are mine and that I need. So, I won't have any living room furniture, but not worried about that now.

He has to work the rest of this week, then he is off the weekend, which I dread.

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

This sounds so hard on you.
I am glad that your DV counselor is helping you sort out these things, exactly what you needed, someone on your side to help you.
It sounds like you will get the assistance youneed and good luck finding just the right place for you and your fur babies and feathered family.
You can do this, you are doing this,
keep up your spirits,
we are here to provide support and give you encouragement.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Thanks, it's just more stress, but I have no choice, I need to get strong and do this for my sanity and my babies.

I just pray I get the approval. My DV counsler said what he is doing is actually criminal.

One day at a time for now. I dread the weekend as I said, so far he hasn't drank, but now that he knows he is not getting the response he wants from me, I am sure he will be drinking by the weekend.

I am just so sad and depressed, but I am dealing with it the best I can.

It just seems to be one thing after another lately, wearing me down.

Hugs, Nikko:hug:

Dear Nikko
 

I'm so sorry this has happened. :(

I am proud of you for seeing the "ugly stuff" as soon as it showed up again.

I am so proud of you for not allowing yourself to be fed excuses, and for not buying into the periodic demure behaviour.

I am proud of you for acting to get yourself out of this situation, and for facing the difficulties and uncertainties involved in that.

I am very proud of you for being so strong.

You are going strong, in the midst of adversity or better said... crises of all kinds.

I am hoping and praying for your safety and that of your dear animal family.

I thought i could, but instead find i am unable to be present here much. :( I am still very edgy about it ... more at times than at others. so please do keep me posted when you send updates that way.

Anyway, i am here right now, so figured i'd post to you here.

You hang in there!

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Waves puts is so right.

I think its perfectly said.

Donna