Maybe I can't change anything but at least I try to
 

I have not been feeling as well as usual for a few days so have just read a lot here and elsewhere. I have some questions I would like to ask you all.

One of the sites I go to is totally dedicated to the scourge of Als and is most valuable to many who have this disease. Yet someone has been putting onto the site some really rude and downright filthy messages that are meant only to cause troubel nad lower the the the respect of the site.

What makes one do this? Why do it to those who are suffering as some there are?


Another thing I have noticed is this, when a new person comes into this site they are seeking someone to talk to. Why do so many answer them? Doesn't that just scare them away from coming back. It is hard enough to talk to one stranger let alone many who are strangers.

Why don't we let them get a foot in before we bombard them with our own thoughts and feelings and just wait till they ask for them? Maybe lets chose someone to answer all new messages in thier forum first?

I have read on another site of so many moderators here talkilng to each other on many posts and while they don't say they are the moderators you soon learn that they are if only by the many many posts they are on.

Now for the question. How are the new members going to react when they find they are talkilng to moderators and not just another poster?

Couldn't a name be placed under the mods names to show who they are? Now don't bother to tell me that they can be both members and moserators and keep each seperate. Go around the site and it will soon be evident they can not do it.

Oh well enough for now as I think I am getting into my bitchy mood.

But really it does matter and we need to alter some things. Bye

We got mod titles this week. We mods are posters too so we aren't that scary to talk to.

Member Community Support Team................What does that mean exactly?

Not everyone comes to a neurological site for support or is this basocally a mental health site?

It's two titles

Member

-and-

Community Support Team

To me it basically means we're here to help if/when needed, but are members first. We didn't want to be called Moderators, so we tried to come up with something else. I think it also is a sign we all talk a lot. :o

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. I've had one of those 'months' myself, if it's not one thing it's another.

Thelma, I'm sorry you aren't feeling as well as usual. I think I get what you're saying but on the SOS forum, some of our posters are teetering and frankly it's difficult to find the right words of support. I welcome and urge the members to jump in.

Thelma, I don't know why people do that. Unfortunately people do that in "real life" as well. It's just the way some people are I think.

I'm not sure if you mean in a specific forum or what. I always try to say something if I _can_ help in some way. In General Neurology, e.g., there are often new posters who are really looking for direction as to which forum to use, or they have questions they ask in case someone knows something about what is going on for them or their loved one etc..

Are you talking about somewhere in particular, Thelma? I don't understand why people shouldn't talk to new members.

:confused: Why should anyone react any differently to someone who's a moderator than someone who is "just" another poster? I'm not really sure what you mean about all the rest of the moderator/user issue that you wrote, so I'll leave that for those to whom it was addressed.

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling so unwell, Thelma. Hoping you have some brighter days soon.

Just to quickly talk about what Alffe's said on her post. It is an excellent point and one that I think about every day of my life. I honestly do. Sometimes, for various reasons, I just do not have the words, as she put it, to answer. It's fine for me to think about people, but I really beat myself up a LOT because I can rarely find the words anymore to help with emotional support as I used to. Frankly, I burned out and went into self-preseveration mode. No-one else is to know that, 'cause I don't tell them! At times when I feel that way, the best thing for me to do when online in my forums, is to offer a different type of support and that is when I can offer direction regarding more practical aspects of forum life. One where I can share my gained lifeskills and knowledge and which actually has a pretty broad base. I think that description would apply to everyone around here, wouldn't it?

I remember being thrilled by the many responses I got the first time I posted on OBT. It made feel like I could fit right in and be a part of the group. :)

As far as the moderator/members go, I think it's been working out pretty well so far. There are a few who I think of as being my friends before being mods. I talk to them just like I'd talk to anyone else...:p

I really hope you're feeling better today, Thelma! Good thoughts and wishes are headed your way...:)

Idealist

imo most people lurk around a board and get a feel for it before ever posting. if they want an unfriendly info only type of board they post there. if they want a board where they post and maybe get one welcome...they post there.

it is pretty obvious at neurotalk, both the members and mod welcome people.

as to your statement:
I have read on another site of so many moderators here talkilng to each other on many posts and while they don't say they are the moderators you soon learn that they are if only by the many many posts they are on.

our moderator list is there for anyone to see. mods are also listed on each forum. and as julie stated, our status is under our name now. it is very unfortunate that another board takes the time to even mention something like this.

some boards don't show you when a member is a mod. might just be the mods welcoming people anyways. ;)

Thelma..Hope you feel better soon!

I like the idea of knowing who the Moderators are..and them posting amongst us..Compared to OBT the Mods here are of service to the general membership..At OBT is a guessing-walk on eggs game-feels like you are waiting to see the Wizard when you send a p.m..Makes one very homesick for Kansas..:D

((((((Thelma)))))),

http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MIN...bears-mini.gif

Oh, I hate those people that only come to cause trouble. There was one awhile back that posted on one of the genetic disorder forums (trisomy) on OBT. I was furious. I sent him a email and told him he was horrible human being.

I just had a thought about what you said about "bombarding newcomers".

We can't really know if that's the way that they're feeling. But, my way of looking at it is sometimes someone will say something using "your words" -- speaking in the same way that you talk -- then you will get the message. Sometimes, one might have to read many different ways of stating the same thing in order to "get it". Do you think that's possible??

When I was dealing with the suicide of my Brother (and also my own attempts), I did a lot of reading about suicide. I actually wrote to an author once and asked him if he had ever attempted suicide. Because I thought that I recognized a "compatriot" in his words. He actually wrote me back a very long letter explaining why he would never do that. I still read that letter sometimes. I got more out of that man's one letter than out of hours and hours of therapy. Because, he used MY WORDS.

Do you understand what I'm saying, Thelma. Sometimes, the key is a different word.

I, personally, would never want newcomer questions answered by just one forum member. I would be afraid that the person with the questions would not be getting a wide enough view of the possibilities.

I, for one, think that as long as someone's intention is to help -- even if it's only to say "I understand" or "I wish I could hug you" -- then there's nothing wrong with that.

I wish I could hug you, Thelma. You have no idea how precious you are to all of us -- how much love and caring you've given that's been well received. You are a treasure.

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb

We're pretty much members first and then part of the support team also.

hi Thelma

I cant really add much to the excellent responses you have already received....but just wanted to say that I too hope you will be feeling better soon.

I also want to echo that the mods here are first and foremost members, and that we see our additional role as service to the community, hence our decision to be known as a Community Support Team rather than moderators.
I hope that you and all other members will always be comfortable speaking with us as that is what we like best about being here....just being able to interact in the community as our member selves:p

I like the Moderator titles, but I'm glad they came under the member title. I've always felt our moderators are just members who have very kindly taken on some extra headaches just to make it easier for the rest of us.
As to the rest of your original post, Thelma, about bombarding newer ones with many responses, when I first posted on OBT, I did NOT get many responses at first. It was as if everyone just wanted to wait and see who I was before they would dignify me with their responses. I remember that one thread I started, which had a topic I really wanted replies on, got so few responses that I then started another one with the title "Sinking like a stone!", which is what my first thread was doing. In that second thread I conveyed my feelings that it seemed only certain "popular" ones could be sure of getting a reply to their questions. THAT thread got plenty of responses!
Since I remember how bad I felt when I first began posting on OBT and got so few responses, I always try to respond to new posters on NT. Even if I cannot give them a response to their question, I like to make them feel welcome, and let them know that their threads are being read.
Hugs,

I would hate to be a newcomer and only get one response. I would think the more people reached out to say "Hi" or try and help, would make a person feel better about posting.
I don't know if you are refering to this site or not, as you never seem to really pinpoint some things, if you are, then I think everyone here is under the belief that we are here to "Help" people in any way we can, and from all that I read, that's exactly what everyone is doing.
As far as the mods answering a post or talking back and forth with one another, tell me one thing that is wrong with that. I would like a mod to answer my post just as much as anyone else on the forum. They give intelligent answers just like the forum members do.
It truly disgusts me that someone would come on and be mean to a newcomer or anyone else. That only causes hurt.
Sorry you're not feeling well but I think you are worrying too much about nothing.
Linda

I agree about the number of members posting...I think if the person only got a few responses they might think they are not welcome or that there is a click on the forum.

As far as mods go...I think they are doing a great job and I am glad to see them post...I have been on websites where the mods do all the answering of questions and do not allow the members to answer questions or do it in such a way that you feel you would be contradicting what they are saying...I think the mods are doing a great job...so keep up the good work...You are around to allow others know you and your presence may keep everyone in line...