Attempt Stuns Parents
 

From Annie's Mailbox (used to be Ann Landers.)

Dear Annie,

Yesterday, my wife and I were called to our son's school to talk to the crisis prevention officer. We were told our 16 yr. old son had attempted suicide. You can imagine our shock. Where were the signs, the clues?

We have a high honors achieving son, an athlete with friends, a Boy Scout and a member of the National Honor Society. He's all a parent could hope for. There have been no arguments, no rebellion, no drugs, or alcohol, no staying out or running away, no complaints about school or home. I'm involved in his life, attend his athletic events and am his scoutmaster. While he is not exactly verbose, we do talk.

There was a recent breakup with his first girl-friend, and that apparently was the trigger. When I talked to him about the breakup, he said, "I'm OK. We're still friends." But the continued contact between them was more than he could handle. He needs to learn how to cope with emotional loss because it's bound to happen in some form again.

Many parents sit in judgement, saying, "How could they not know?" All I can tell them is that some kids hide it very well. My son is now in secure treatment. We'll have consultations and together find a way to rebuild trust and communication.

What I would ask of anyone, but especially teens, is this: If you hear, read or know about someone who is talking about suicide, tell someone responsible. You're not ratting out a friend. You're answering their cries for help and you might just save a life. To parents out there: There can never be too much communication.

Dad

*sigh...

his name was keith...he was a grade above me.
he sat at the same chair/desk a period ahead of me.

my very best friend at the time and I found his writings one day on the desk...

It stated, "I Keith ***** will kill myself today by shooting myself..."

my friend and I looked at each other and chuckled...yeah, sure, we thought to ourselves...

Keith was very popular, hung out with a popular crowd and was a tall handsome guy and quite a lady's man...

We were probably a bit jealous of him...well, we were....

we didn't know him well, and we thought to ourselves, man, this guy has everything...this is just that he was bored or he just wanted some attention...

I remember we were actually a bit peeved at him...like, what else could he want??

and our math teacher was boring, ya know? So maybe he was just bored so he decided to write those things to pass time...

we scoffed at it even made jokes about it....

the next day...when we walked into the hallway of school, we saw people were crying and holding each other...

I swallowed heavy as did my friend, I am sure of...

we found out that he did kill himself...just like he stated, he shot himself...

I looked at my friend and he looked at me..

the rest of the day was blank...

the desk was not there anymore when we went to class later on that day...

from what I know, his mom refused to talk about it and probably didn't til the day she died...

wished this article was around then, wished we knew what to do back then....

if I can only turn back the clock....

rest in peace, Keith...I am so sorry I didn't say anything....

:icon_rolleyes: :hug: ....((who moi)) such a painful experience...I am so sorry. We are working at it. We will make a difference....We are making a difference...:grouphug:

(((Keith)))...and ((all those)) who have made such a choice. We all make choices. Sometimes we don't make such good ones. And other people pay a price. But it is not their fault.

COMMUNICATION is key! We need to teach communication skills from the very beginning. How to communicate feelings in a healthy way..... ~sigh :grouphug:

:hug: ((Moi)) :hug:

Another Annie Letter in today paper
 

Dear Annie,

Today I mourn the loss of a dear friend. She was vibrant, energetic and full of life, but on a crisp autumn afternoon, she committed suicide. She was only 35 and left behind two beautiful little girls.

My friend spent her life inspiring other women to get fit by opening her own women's fitness center. I do not know what transpired in the final hours of her life, but I do know she had been under a tremendous amount of stress. I have been in the health care profession for many years and
am ashamed to say I missed the warning signs.

I cannot change what has happened to my friend, but I can make other people more aware of the prevalence of depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, major depressive disorders affect 14.8 million American adults in any given year and depression is more prevalent in women. The median age is 32. Depression knows no boundaries. It does not discriminate against sex, race, age or profession.

There is a profound sense of emptiness in the families and friends left behind when a loved one commits suicide. I ask your readers to take the time to really listen to others and be aware of the warning signs of depression. Do not assume everything will work itself out. Most importantly, tell the people you love how much they mean to you. Life is so short. Don't wait until it is too late. I did not get to say goodbye to my friend or tell her what a wonderful person she was, but her spirit will live on in the lives of all the women she inspired.

signed...Michelle in Greensboro, N.C.


http://www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseac...2DC6B57AF18483

This, I understand...I broke down and cried....when, oh when, will we find the words?????? When will we feel safe to reach out in our emptiness???? When everything looks alright, but it is not....:(

Oh we hear you dear friend...we just don't know how to make it go away other then to tell you to keep on, keeping on. You are so loved and such a bright light in our lives. :hug:

(((Alffe))) I wouldn't be here without you...and everyone else here...:grouphug: And His strength...which shines through everyone of you....luv u :hug: :grouphug:

http://www.karentaylorgood.com/audio...aylor-Good.mp3

"PRECIOUS CHILD"
Words and Music by Karen Taylor-Good
In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still
In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still
In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then
In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart




I'm still looking for that article about abuse but have found so many other things that I'd misplaced....we can't have a forum without Precious Child.

And I found a lovely note from XIE...Cris...are you still reading here?..:hug:

And Koala...(Anne) wait until you see what I found!! *grin

.....*lots of tears here...I wish you could hear the music that is playing through my speakers...I don't know how it happened...but, "My Heavely Father" a beautiful primary song. The Prayer with Josh Groban, and Charlotte Church...so beautiful...I think their are angels in my computer....LOL...I got to find a hankie....:hug: :grouphug:

another bump

Beautifully Shared, Gratefully Received
 

Warning signs.... they are apparent when someone is struggling mightily.
In our child we could not see the present signs as he lives far away with his little nuclear family of wife and son [our grandson].
In retrospect, signs became apparent in his situation, though it could have been seen as so much drama, acting out, yearning for attention of a kind we do not understand, because being there and listening was big .... we had lived it.

After the wreck which nearly took me, years passed, surgeries mounted, expenses escalated, market crashed, career lost, pain endless and unbelievable physical pain met my every waking breath, we were down to our last few dollars after so much had been swept away by someone else careless at a wheel.....
and I faltered in faith,
found myself studying insurance,
looking over records for things in right place,
looked DEEPLY into a dark abyss into which I wanted so to pass,
everyone around knew I was distancing myself,
my own lawyer striving so hard to wrench enough through the system to keep us afloat rang alarm bells after I had already sat lonely and alone numerous times trying to "get up the gumption to finalize it"....
care leaped into my presence
and
proper meds also arrested the horrific depression
that
had seemed to consume my very soul.

I left the lonely mountain roads I had located finding the place to claim and end.
The glory of the true blessings whom I had not really failed was brought home to a soul reborn as my family showed me love.
We were no longer wealthy in dollars, we were wealthy in love.
Therapy for a long time helped immensely.
This place helped even more.
Oh, how I wish our son, who, being of adult age at the time and long since gone on his own, was not told of the circumstance right away..... so he could be shown that situation was not a life enabling choice it was a family wrenching awful choice in our circumstances..... did not receive my experience in a light of "hey this is the way" but "how I am so glad to know love and faith trump all" made choices for reasons maybe he will share one day.

Life is hard,
Death chosen, as in my case, for reasons which are certainly a permanent solution to a temporary crisis, was not for me and how I wish and hope we can help others to see a means to emotional health.
I am glad for it.
Blessed.

Blessed as well by the thoughts shared here on this bump up.
Thanks Alffe and those others who posted.

Humbled :hug: :grouphug:

"If only" is such a huge part of all of our lives. Mark, the journey of life is such a long one. (next I'll be bumping that up. ) To say that you had/have a lot on your plate would be an understatement.....look how far you have traveled and have now begun the "teaching" part of the experiment. You are playing it forward and I appreciate it.

I have a library of books on suicide, one of my favorites is Suicide The Forever Decision and it's written in a conversational style by Paul Quinnett.
It is for those thinking about suicide, and for those who know, love, or counsel them. It's soft cover and I wonder if your son could benefit from it. Since he is too far away to get him in your arms, you might consider sending him a copy.

I hope you have received some news today. Continued prayers. :grouphug: