How do you stay positive about all of this?
 

I'm struggling so much with this new relapse. How do you keep from feeling sorry for yourself? How do you stop crying all the time? I'm so angry at this disease and I know that you all are suffering the same things, so why do I feel like I'm all alone in this?

I know the steroids are wreaking havoc on me right now and it will pass... but I'm just so tired of it all. I guess I just wish I knew your secret. You all seem so positive and I want it to rub off on me. I'm usually a really happy and positive person, but I feel like I just hate everything right now and I'm finding it difficult to get through this without alienating everyone around me.

Sorry for the vent....

We all have those days! Hell I am having one of those months...well, come to think of it one of those years! I am getting ready to go back for another round of IVSM since the one we did before Thanksgiving is wearing off and now I have more Sx.


I'll tell you a secret... Chocolate, Red wine and a punching bag. Sometimes you just need to cry and sometimes you just need to scream. Then there are times when you just need to punch the **** out of something! And follow with your favorite chocolates and a glass of wine. It works wonders.... unless the steroids make everything taste like rubber. Then you just have to double up on the punching bag.

I guess that is what I wanted to hear, that it is okay to be mad and to cry. I feel like I'm failing because I can't be happy and positive during this, I feel like I should be stronger and I'm really just a weak, pathetic version of my real self right now.

I've been on the oral steroids for 8 days now, and the last 2 days my sx are worse. My tongue is almost completely numb and I can feel the side of my face numbing more and more.

Thanks for talking to me.... :hug:

Don't feel bad for feeling bad, Blondi! :hug: We all have those days, weeks, months. I guess I try really hard to stay positive because I don't want my kids to worry about me. I tend to downplay my sx to them.....what are they gonna do about it anyway? :rolleyes: I suppose a lot of that is just the "Mom" in me.

Even though this stupid disease does get painful at times....and I've had my share of scary sx that have lasted months (double vision, numbness, etc.) I just try to look at whatever wee bit of positive I can find in the situation. I may have a numb right hand/arm but I've learned how to use my left hand! I had double vision for four months but I learned how to compensate for it (I got very creative!) and it taught me to be thankful for whatever vision I have....be it doubled or not! At least I could see something.

There are still days when I get down.....wonder what I've done to deserve not just this but the many challenges that have come along in my life.....but I snap out of that quickly because I just ask myself....."why not me?" Should it be someone else....who am I to say? I'm not an overly religious person but I am spiritual and I do believe with all my heart that God is looking out for me (I have proof!) and this is all part of a bigger plan.

Probably more of an answer than you were hoping for but it's how I deal with things. :o I hope you feel better soon....and don't beat yourself up for feeling bad. It's a natural human emotion. Sometimes we all need to throw a pity party and be the guest of honor. :hug:

Oh, and the steroids can do a real number on your emotions.....but it passes. :)

I stay positive by coming here!

I'm serious! :)

Some of the humor found here is enough to get me laughing and cheer me up. Especially when Gazelle and CayoKay get going. I've been in stitches and it takes my mind off how crummy I may be feeling.

Much :grouphug: to NT members!

oh yeah. Ask cayo about the Nekkid Hallway story. She is a hoot!

My post follows some very sage advice:icon_exclaim:

When I go through a flare-up, I get really ticked off:ranting: I want to be able to read, make a cup of coffee and do whatever -- without having to ask for help for any of it.

I just tell myself that the flare will pass and I will be able to make that coffee myself.

It's the goal that keeps me going.

Focus on a goal! That's my small bit of advice:idea:

Cheers!

Niko:cool:

I may be positive a lot here to support others, but I have so many many days...feeling as you describe.. then I have to read here...or chill a bit. But truely if you ahve feelings let them out... if you feel tears let them out... be angry with the disease that is ok!! then let it go...think of positives in life... and concentrate on what the disease hasnt attacked on you... things you can do and enjoy.

hugsss truely I know how you feel, I am having issues this past year now about just not wanting to continue easily. wanting to say I quit to work and just all this pain and issues. so I dont have many answers...struggling with it too...but if you see me chipper here...trust me I am not always that way..

hugsss and good cheer to you, sarah

I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this, Blondi :hug:.

I agree with what all of the others have said, we all have our bad days and please don't feel bad or guilty for letting things out and having a rant - we all have to let off steam at some time or another!!

I don't have MS but have a condition that is fairly similar so I do understand some of how you are all feeling :hug:. I also have my bad days and sometimes I feel like there is nothing to go on for but one of the things that I have found that really helps me and stops me from feeling really depressed is thinking about others who are a LOT worse off than me, the ones that can't eat, can hardly breathe, can't see, can't walk, are bed bound etc. Thinking about others that are worse off than me always makes me realise that things could always be a lot of worse and that I am a lot better than some people in some aspects.

Do you have a diary or a Journal, blog etc?? One of the other things that helps me is having somewhere to write about how I am feeling but where I don't have to show it to others if I don't want to. It really helps me be able to express my feelings and frustrations and not worry about others seeing what I have written or judge me.

A few months ago, I was really depressed and wouldn't do anything, talk or look at anyone, was stress eating etc etc. I have come out of my shell quite a bit from that point ... that's not to say that I don't feel like this still now, I do but it is a lot easier to cope with than it was!

Don't be afraid to talk to your doctors about how you are feeling. For so long, I wouldn't talk to my doctors about how I was feeling so they weren't able to help me - it really did help me when I started opening up to people and went to see a Psychologist.

Please remember that we are all here for you and we DO understand how you are feeling and will do anything we can to try and help you feel better!!:hug:

I wish I could help you more but just know you are in my thoughts and if you need anything, I am here for you!!

I tend to use reverse psychology, by remembering back to "harder" times. My first and second attacks were so much worse then anything I have experienced since, so that helps keep things in perspective.

I sleep a lot during those difficult times. Makes the time go faster. :D

I tend to avoid posting as much (or not at all) on the forums when I am less well, but I still read.

When all else fails, and when I just can't take any more . . . I just give into the feelings of desperation and anger. I scream at 'whom-ever' may be listening (to my conscience), and I completely give up. That's when things always turn the corner for me, and each improvement lifts me higher and higher. :)

Cherie

We all have been where you are...just sending you hugs and hope you're better soon.:hug::hug:

I'm trying to remember that I will eventually start to feel better, this will pass. I think I just enjoyed that two and half years since my last relapse a little too much, got too comfortable.

Thanks for understanding and letting me know that it is okay to be weak and to cry and to be angry.

I'm off work for the next week and a half and I plan on sleeping and taking it easy and trying to get a grip on my emotions.

I do have a lot of good things in my life and I know that I can't let this beat me, no matter how much I just want to succumb to it right now.

Thank God for this place... I mean that... Thank you, God. :grouphug:

amen, Momma !!

Blondi, developing coping skills is a lifetime job, an ART, and a fine thing to pursue.

trying to find the lighter side of things... or mocking the symptoms (ie: I had a "p*ssy" day on Sunday, had to wash my clothes in the sink, wah wah! )

joking about it helps... singing songs helps (Foreigner's Double Vision, or Joni Mitchell's Help Me, I'm Falling, or I forget-who-it's by... I'm So Dizzy, or Paul Simon's Slip Sliding Away, you get the picture...)

my favorite thing to do is enshrined in the Moody Blues song, Nights in White Satin, where he sings about Letters I've written, never meaning to send... that's what I do, I write it all out, and GET it all out of my system, so I don't take it out on those I love accidentally.

I practice an attitude of gratitude, like Kitty, where I focus on what's POSITIVE, and what things I CAN do, instead of what I've lost...

and sometimes I just whine about things, (like not being able to play the piano anymore, or backpack in the wilderness, or go skiing, or whatever...), and everybody gives me a hug, and I feel all warm and fuzzy...

but, oddly enough, the thing that helps me MOST is reaching out to others when THEY feel down, or are hurting, or have some cluster-mess brewing.

just taking the focus OFF myself, and helping others... works miracles.

this afternoon, a neighbor came over to buy three chickens for a Christmas family feast, and while helping to catch them, I slipped and FELL in the mud, and had to be hosed OFF...

and instead of crying, I started LAUGHING... because whaddaya gonna DO ???

:D :o :D

(((Blondie)))
We all try to put a positive spin on things, but really, if you could see thru the computer screen..Eeeek..
Humor is a huge part of not giving in, but even that doesn't help all the time.
Honestly, I'd be concerned about anyone who could go thru a flair with a big smile and positive attitude. That person (if they exist) has some big issues, I promise you ;).
The chocolate/wine/punching bag combo sounds like a winner to me..May have to try that one.
Hope you're feeling better soon, and can enjoy your holiday!
Blessings,
Kris

I discovered a chocolate over the weekend that I think could cure the common cold it tastes so good. I was at the bookstore, and they had these pieces of chocolate candy at the registers, so I bought a couple for my mom and I.

OMG! It was so good! It's Lindor Truffles by Lindt, milk chocolate. (I've had the dark chocolate, and they're very tasty too!) http://www.lindtlindortruffles.com/

I bought a couple of bags of them yesterday to put in my Christmas candy dish. I dont think they're going to last till Christmas. My dad and I keep eating them. I might have to go get more.

But, really, it was so much better than the Hershey's Chocolate that I usually want to stuff my face with when I'm starving for something chocolaty! The Lindor Truffles have just the right flavor of chocolate that I dont feel like I have to stuff my face with them. I think it's my new favorite brand of chocolate.

I saw on the website link that I linked a few paragraphs back that they have an orange flavor. I'm going to have to find a couple (dozen) bags of that. I absolutely love orange flavored chocolate. MmmmMmmmm!

I hate this stinking, thieving disease. Sending hugs to you and don't ever forget that you are not alone.
:grouphug:

:hug::hug:Blondie:hug::hug:

This board is the first place I come to in the mornings, and I come back often during the day. I have learned a lot here. People have made me cry, smile, and laugh out loud. I read and post on three other MS forums, but NT by far is the best.

For the past six years, my MS has been going downhill. As each new thing develops I wallow for awhile in self-pity, then I try to figure out how to either make it better, get around it, or live with it.

My biggest supporter has been my husband. We were married two years when I was diagnosed with MS. Many a time he has pulled me up, physically and emotionally. Then last December, Montana came into our lives. This big, black Lab brought me out of the shell I was living in.

I used to read avidly, usually had three books going at once. ON made it uncomfortable to read, so I started going online more. I even started a blog, which has turned out to be loads of fun. I got on MySpace (got my DH hooked on it, too) and Facebook.

I listen to music (Sugarland is my top favorite), I'm knitting a lap robe for a friend who's in a wheelchair and a stocking cap for my grandson.

I used to love walking and hiking. Those are the two things I regret the most that MS took away from me.

I've got a lovely extended family. Visiting them has made the effort of travel worthwhile. They are so good to me and for me. Every one of them is physically fit and very active. I can't go walking or hiking with them, but they always manage to include me in something while we're together. Like strolling on the boardwalk in Ocean City, NJ, or riding the ski-lift up the mountain in NH. They always figure out something I can do with them, and I love them for it. :)

So, you get knocked down and somehow you keep getting back up again. You always have to get back up again. :)

Erin, check out THIS choccy !!!

the first totally guilt-free chocolate, it melts in your MOUTH, and it's good for Belize too!

How a £1.50 chocolate bar saved a Mayan community from destruction

Green & Black's Maya Gold, the first British Fairtrade product, is more than an organic chocolate bar - it's the livelihood for a whole district of Belize.

(snipped)

Suddenly, it occurs to me that Maya Gold - the name given by Green & Black's to its orange-and-spice chocolate bar, made with beans grown by Cyrila Cho and the other 940 members of the Toledo Cacao Growers' Association (TCGA) - is more than just a slick marketing gimmick alluding to a semi-mythical past. It may evoke images of ruined temples, ancient peoples and lost civilisations, but the name is also rooted in the here and now, a tribute to the Maya who produce cacao today.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...rink.features1

sorry for the interruption, Blondi, but the second Erin mentioned "orange" chocolate, I remembered how I cheer MYSELF right the heck up... LOL !!

:hug::D:hug:

Ooooo! Chocolate! :)

Gotta love orange chocolate! (when desperate, I buy orange flavored soda pop, like Orange Crush, or Sunkist, and drink that while eating a Hershey bar)

First time I had chocolate and orange mixed together was at a restaurant in England that was next door to the hotel we stayed at. Love the combination now! I have to go buy some orange chocolate now, if I can find any.

and to try to keep on topic...I'm not feeling so positive with my MS today. I keep tripping over stuff today, like some snow...my feet...a piece of yarn on the floor. There's some invisible troll apparently trying it's best to screw up my Christmas by trying to make me fall down. This is not cool.

Maybe some orange chocolate will help? I know it cant hurt!

PPMS, didn`t buy it but I am stuck with it anyway, I can still look at the top of the grass instead of the roots so I am good!

Stuff happens, had a lot off friends and family that didn`t make it this far, still get to see the DW and kids every day so?

LOL I like a challenge?:eek:

sending you hugs. :hug: I am right thar with ya. Cry, kick, scream, yell, let it out, then pick up your bags and move on to the next stop.