I think I posted in a Slow Zone, Need help??
 

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...895#post438895
This is what I have posted and the place I posted does not seem to get much action and I wondered if it could be moved here or at least read and give me some thoughts??
Thanks

Junie, try posting with spaces.

Hit the enter key to break up your posts into paragraphs.

Long posts with no breaks are often not replied to. They are very hard to read.

:hug:

Hi Junie...curious is right...it's too hard to read when it's single spaced and that long. We'd love to have you on board...can you "work on it" to make it easier to read? :hug:

((Junie)) You have certainly been through a traumatic time, and without fully knowing the details I say...shame on your sisters.

Just please, do not sit by a bottle of pills again and beg your arsehole of a husband to shoot you! That will not do.

It is hard to read posts with no breaks, sorry about bringing this up! When people do that, I find it really difficult to get through.

So forgive me if I didn't catch it, but are you going to counseling with anyone? Is there an agency where you can see a therapist on a sliding fee scale? We have one here that I used for years. When my therapist moved and started her own business though, I went with her. A good and kind therapist is worth the effort.

I wish I had magic words of help, but I wouldn't know what to do with a family that didn't want to help either, especially after all the help you've given out.

I also wish there were a way to get out in your own place and get away from that sorry excuse of a human being that you live with. He isn't worth the space that he takes up on this earth.

Keep talking, and talk to your higher powers and pray like crazy. Baby yourself, take good care of yourself. Maybe an answer will come forth.

We all care very much. :hug:

I am sorry, but I am not a writer so I have no way of knowing what you mean, I know I have spent 3 days writing even if it hurt so I might get some understanding, and I am close to being blind but I can read it. I could not find the how to guide on writing down painful memories for others to read and maybe give me some insight but if its to hard to read I understand. I just thought of this place as a refuge and did not know about all the rules.. It took all I have to write what I did, I now spend 20 or more hours a day in bed, and I eat between 500-1000 calories a day sometimes less, try to take my meds, but don't always take all my pain meds, so if its too much trouble to read, its ok, I am used to being ignored, and yes, I have been in therapy for years and if you had read what I wrote you would have known it won't ever happen again.There are very few people as sick as I am so I did not know I was creating a hardship when I asked for help, its not something I am used to doing. If I seem angry and hurt its because I am.
Thanks anyway

Junie, when a post is a just sentance after sentance with no space between it is really hard to read.

Can you see the difference between your long posts and the ones here, where there is some space?

All you have to do is hit the Enter key twice on your keyboard once in awhile, after a period.

No one here is trying to ignore you. We have members who spend hours each day helping here. But when they spend that long infront of a computer, they have hard time reading posts with no spacing.

I can try and help with the posts you already made, but in the future, just try and space. :)

No no no no, we do care, and I did read! All Curious meant was breaking up long posts with paragraphs, like this...

That's all! Your posts are very important.

Your life has been very overwhelming! And I can see why you are so overwhelmed! I am overhwhelmed by your story! I'm so sorry for what you've been through and please don't stop talking about it, no matter what! Paragraphs or not! Doesn't matter, just keep talking dear lady. :hug:

Hi again Junie...:hug: It isn't about rules, it's about wanting to help you

and being unable to read your posts.

See how far apart my sentences are?

I hit the enter key twice after a sentence or two.

It makes it much easier to read.

Of course you are hurt and angry...who wouldn't be with your history.

How did you hurt your back? :grouphug:

LOL...well I see we all were posting at the same time!

Welcome to our family Junie....we are a little looney at times. *grin

The Looney Monkey here.:D

Go look at your last post on the other thread. I added spaces. Can you see how that is easier on the eyes?

I went back and the only 2 I could break up were the last 2, that is if I did it right, and no I don't care to go to sister sight, I doubt I am that far gone, I have survived things that would destroy most!

And surviving is what this forum is all about! Glad you came back Junie. :hug:

Have you thought about writing letters to your family members and telling them how hurt and disappointed you are? Or just writing down what you are feeling in a journal...not good to let it simmer inside. :hug:

I need to re read this and coment after some thinking

but I send prayers of healing and some hugs to you Junie.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug:

You name it I have done it, they don't care I guess!!

Junie...(((hugs))) I am sorry I am ill right now. But I want to welcome you here, and give you a hug. Please keep talking, that is important. We do care. And you will find things to distract you, and make you smile, and help to lift your load. I doubt that there is anything wrong with you. It sounds to me like it is them. They are involved in their own lives. Such is life. Prayer, my friend...that is what is getting you through. Keep it up, and keep coming back. I hope to be well soon, and look forward to chatting some more......:hug:

Junie,

I'm sorry this has all happened to you. :hug:

But you have found us now. Friends can be better "family" sometimes than blood family.

I am closer to my friends than my family. They love me cuz they want to, not because they are supposed to.

Might be time to write all this out as a means to letting it go.

:hug:

BTW, you did an AWESOME job as spacing. :D I went back and did the first ones. Members only have so much time to edit.

Thanks everyone,
I am overly sensitive right now so sorry if I get snippy, its been a hard year. I guess I am afraid to have to say it out loud, I may not have a family and may be better off without them.:(

I thought Junie seemed familiar and I do remember you from a bit ago.
You have been threw he-- and high water then back again.
I am so sorry for how the people around you have acted and treated you .NO ONE deserves that !!

Do not let all the negitive control how you think and feel, and what you do ..that is letting the past and those peole still controll you and your life. that is not good.

Writing it all out little by little will help you get it out and let go. Sometimes i burn my stuff when i am done it is a way for me to be rid of it to send it off and away .
Are you seeing talk doc I may have missed that part sorry.
I am glad your here and please know this place is safe we are here for you and we care. each in our own way ..each of us is reaching for you and trying to help best we can.
Like Curious stated ..Me too I am way closer to my friends then my hub or family I live with and most of you here....my nt family know tons more about me then my hub who ive been with for 24+ years. so do my friends i have. they care because they want to they want to see me smile they want to hold me when i am crying not because it is expected or they feel they have to but because they are my friends and they WANT to--- thats what real friends do.
I hope I can help you and lift your spirits and be your friend...I already am on your friends list...See I thought Junie seemed familiar and I we are gald you are back here sharing
getting things out.
sugestion 1 naww a rule to live by--- baby steps one step at a time.


Suggeston 2 --is that you take care of you and love you because YOU are THE MOST IMPORTION person in YOUR life.


sugesstion 3 .. we care and do not judge . we want to help and support you ,be there to be leaned on while you take them baby steps and find sunshine and smile again. because YOU are a wonderful special friend family memeber here and
Rule 4 never forget what i just said! You are a strong beautiful person!!!!
Keep talking and sharing let it come out. :hug: :hug:
B.T.W.I have mean bro who used to abuse me when I was little ... he is not part of my life ANY MORE I AM BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hugs and wraping you in my prayers Junie :hug:

PEACE
BMW

I get what everyone says, but don't you miss the touch of a real person, or the sound of someone saying I love you. I have not been with a man in over 5 years but I just miss that part of my life:(

well I cant say i would not miss the "touch" of a real person
I would but i do think a hug from a real friend would be as good or better then a kiss from a -----. a massage nice relaxing, every human being needs phyical touch to be healthy. but not abuse ...love, caring warm touch a hug holding hands . we all need that its a basic . pets give love and are warm fuzzy buddies that are there no matter what!

Do you know that hugging yourself is a positive action one can do ??
It can lift your mood? It is ture. try it. even forcing your self to smile has positive affects. :)

I think as far as hearing another say they love me...

first I would have to love myself believe in myself and then when I heard another say they love me...no matter if guy or girl or kidos ... hearing that would be the best. but not until i loved myself and believed in myself. if i didnt believe or love myself well everthing eles is just dukie squat. if ya get what i meen.

between you and i when my marriage ends thats the last time i want to be with any man ..live with ,have sex with, hang out with... when my marriage is done i am done with men! dare i say ...AMEN to that?? sorry That is just how and what i feel for a long while now. No offence.
I better go before i say or do something totaly stupid.

Chat with you soon.
Junie...wrap both arms around yourself and squeeze. your a wonderful worthy strong person.! ! !
we love you ! :hug: we care! we are here for you. :hug:
:grouphug:
:grouphug:



PEACE
BMW

I know exactly what you mean and I have not had sex because its my choice and if I never do again its ok, but I miss the feel of arms around me or even a kiss on the cheek, and hearing someone say I love you and mean it! I don't think I can hug myself, not strong enough, and I have 3 dogs and they have kept me going for years and the reason I won't leave is I won't leave my fur babies!

Hi Junie, welcome to our family :hug: I am so sorry for all you have, and are going through. I cling to my fur babies too, keep hugging them, and keep swimming :hug:

Thanks, I can keep up with fur babies ( all 3 in bed with me now) but unable to swim anymore, but sure wish my sons would clean out my hot tub so I could get some use out of it:(

I had to laugh yesterday dear Junie. I had to be in bed with this crud I am fighting, and had all three of our furbabies in bed with me all day. They are comforting. But, yes, the human touch is vital to us as well. Please keep doing what you are doing, and God will provide in His time. Luv u :hug:

Yes I don't know what I would do without them, I too have had the crud, going on almost 2 weeks ago and I know they are getting bored!

Junie have you checked out this forum...http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum28.html

:grouphug:

Sorry, I have a therapist, I just wanted human responses, or maybe someone went through same thing, I don"t have time or energy to go to another place, thanks for the offer, but I will either stay here or just turn off PC! Please guys, stop trying to send me to sister site, I was here when this place opened and know its there and what it is for. I am grateful for the offer, but if you don't know what to say to me, then its ok to say nothing, I get it!

Its OK dear Junie....sometimes, it is just enough to say we are here and we care. And, yes, we are human. Stick around. There is a lot of love in here. Just jump in someday in our wonder thread. As you get to know everyone better it will get easier. There is a lot going on right now, and people are strained. ((((big hugs)))) to you and those furkids of yours. Is there any chance of getting that hot tub going for you? :wink: :hug: :grouphug:

Junie, click the link Alffe gave you. She is NOT sending you to another site.

It's the forum here on NeuroTalk that members post Work Comp or Social Seciruty questions. You won't get answers to help you in that department on SOS. Alffe was trying to help you get answers and help.

I wish you could understand that we are all trying to help.

BTW, PhychCentral, the link that Chemar gave you is our sister site. Run by DocJohn, just like we are. There is more qualified help for emotional issues there. She was only trying to help.

Junie sharing links to another forum thats here if it might help is something we do for eachother. even share links to other sites if it will help . Alffe mom was reaching out trying to help you Junie...or anyone else that reads this post. we are a support place ..hugs ,listening, and giving info is what most of us are here for. Alffe mom :hug:
Junie :hug:
group hug
we all need one right now
:grouphug:
PEACE
BMW

Hi Junie - I've read your posts about your upbringing and some of the horrific experiences and one thing I can see, above all, is that you are a survivor!

Yes, even writing down your story here shows you are a fighter and thus, willing to seek out help and support to survive! Good for you - that is a huge step.

I know you are tired of the fight - its perfectly understandable as you have literally been knocked down at every point in your life starting with your horrific years as a child and teenager.

I honestly wish that there was a test people should be forced to take before becoming parents as it is obvious your parents truly did not deserve to have children. They likely were part of a cycle of abuse which started long before you were in the picture and because they simply did not know any better, they continued the abuse.

:hug: You sound like a very smart woman, Junie... and you also sound very tired. You have fought a tough battle and to have physical ailments on top of the mental abuse must make things even more difficult for you. I hear your cry for help but don't have the answers you need. I think the answer is inside of you Junie.

The answer is to love yourself and as difficult as that may sound, you ARE doing it by writing here.

My Dad was an alcoholic but I had a brave mother who left him when I was 9 years old. Nonetheless,I truly think that I spent much of my life (I'm 55 tomorrow!) wanting to save my daddy (he sadly died an alcoholic). Although I didn't live your cycle of abuse, I do think I understand the love we have for our parents, no matter how unsuccessful they are at being parents.

My first real love relationship with a man was when I was 19 - and when he broke up with me, I was devestated and swore that I would never love anyone more than they loved me. So, at 23, I married a man who loved me more than I loved him. Sadly, he drank, too... and it took me 22 years to leave him. I was so wrecked by not having a "normal" father and so destroyed by my first love ... and never loved myself.......

Thankfully... somewhere, along the way, I discovered myself and healed... and am still healing... being a human is NOT easy.

I have found a huge wealth of support here on this forum - and have for about 10 years (there was an old forum before this one)... I remain faithful to my friends here because they have always been here for me.

They are here for you now dear lady.

Take our hands - hold onto them.... and spill out your soul. We're here for you.

:grouphug:

:sing: Addy

I am sorry but I am not very trusting right now, when I see links with the advice to go there I take it as I am too much trouble to deal with. Hopefully in time I will get past that, I just wish I had stayed here and never left to try and make things work with my family maybe I would have been much further along then I am now. One more time I put my needs aside for my family and I don't plan on doing it again. I am like one big exposed raw nerve right now and its hard to trust anyone. I am working on that by coming here everyday.

I am sorry, I posted before I saw yours and my dad too was an alcoholic and I remember time after time trying to win his approval and attention but never did, as for mom, I simply got lost in the crowd, but I do remember dad telling me over and over I was supposed to be a boy and he let me know what a disappointment I was just being a girl and I am sure thats why I always wanted a daughter (never had one) and why I alway dated men old enough to be my father, still looking for daddy's love??


I too used to belong at the other site, was afraid to post since I saw so many get banned, so I came here when they were shut down and for awhile was doing good, until I put my family ahead of my needs once more! I don't really need info about disability, was just asking if people thought I would be wrong to keep this to myself and have a nest egg for security??


For anyone afraid for me, well I have already been at the edge of the cliff and decided not to jump, at this point I am not sure if it makes me strong or weak, but have no [plans of going back there! I really am grateful for all that has tried to help, but right now I am still having trouble knowing who wants to help, and who wants to push me away??