Two Wombats walked into a bar....(an actual serious post in the not so serious forum)
 

....

the first wombat shouted, "SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME, I'VE LOST MY WOMB!!"

the second wombat shouted, "HELP! I've lost my bat!!!"

*disclaimer
since wombats are NOT considered pets, I couldn't put this in the PET forum

(and I didn't think mosquitos were pets, either. Although I've known people with pet rats. :p )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would hope that most, if not all, would rush to the first wombat to help her recover her womb(that includes the second wombat, I would hope that it would help the first wombat also)

but if the womb is recovered, I would hope that the rest would help to look for the bat...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

before you ask, where was I going with this, I must admit, I have no idea....I was just thinking about wombats but didn't think I could post it in the PETS forum....:thud:

LOLOLOLOL

We do understand, dear Moi.

Wombats are way cool actually.

{Obviously Moi has noted that already 'cause of a noted obsession with wombats in recent times. :) }

http://www.wombat.echidna.id.au/wombat1.htm

p.s. (we love our wombats. we do not love our mozzies! My state has epidemic of Dengue Fever at present. Moving south to bite me as I type I'm sure.)

Lara, those wombats are JUST adorable...this makes me miss Steve Irwin... :(

maybe you can be OUR croc hunter in this here them forum?? :D :D :D

had to look up mozzies, at first I thought it was some kinda drink....LOLOLOL

I have been thinking about wombats, and now you have made moi a huge wombat fan! :D

A horse walks into a bar...

the bartender asks him, "hey dude, why the LONG face?"

da duck walks into a bar with a set of stethoscope....

the bartender asks her, "hey, are you a quack??"

moi walks into a bar.....

no one says anything to him...

he walks out wondering why as he adjusts his shades and tie

http://images.dpchallenge.com/images...ted_138743.jpg

yeah, I am milking this photo....LMAO........

The last joke is the best:D

Two wombats walked into the bar and

the first wombat shouted, "SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME, I'VE LOST MY WOMB!!"

the second wombat shouted, "HELP! I've lost my bat!!!"

a third wombat was sitting alone at the end of the dimly lit bar nursing his Mozzie drink. He motioned the bartender over and said, 'I have a message for those two gorgeous wombats who just walked into the bar. Please tell the 1st one that she will never need a womb-she can adopt my 7 little motherless wombats...and tell the 2nd one_______________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _."

thinking, thinking...of a good punch line...any ideas?

lol, I'm no good with jokes and punch lines. I'm better with information. :o

More about Wombats. http://www.abc.net.au/science/scribblygum/june2006/

There used to be this old show on tv here called "A Country Practice". They had a big old wombat in that called "Fatso". I'm sure Koala would remember that. I've never seen a wombat in the wild myself, but seen them in the zoo.


btw. mozzies = mosquitoes (Moi, I think it's minus the 'e' in Spanish, but I don't speak Spanish so I could be wrong)

*disentangling the bat from my hair as I prepare to hand it back to the wombat.....LOL :eek: :D

Sue, I still cannot seem to come up with a good punch line vs a good punch bowl, so I'll leave it to the more talented folks. LOL

in the meantime, this email was sent to me from our dear mistiis. (that means BLAME her, not moi. ;)

(moi is talking about himself in third person again...:rolleyes:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

* If Laura , Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura , Kate and Sarah .
* If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

(so true, so true...and let's not forget the most common one: Bubba LOL)

EATING OUT

* When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

(ROFL....yeah, this is just like moi and da wife...LOLOL)


MONEY

* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's
on sale.

(not in moss's case... :D)

BATHROOMS

* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is
337.
* A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

(too funny....that's OUR bathroom...:D)


ARGUMENTS

* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.

(hee hee ;) )

FUTURE

* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

(LMAO)

MARRIAGE

* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she
does.


DRESSING UP

* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

(too true....)

NATURAL

* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

(well, moss looks good ALL the time. I deteriorate, PERIOD *trying to collect brownie points here..)


OFFSPRING

* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humour and who can handle
it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Mwa, I came up with a funny punch line but it was NR17, so if Moss gives you permission, I will PM it to you. Better yet, I will PM it to Moss-and if she thinks you are mature enough, she will tell it to you!

pssssst sue...

if you ever meet moi and moss, you'll know that I am the NC-17 one and she's the angel and then you'd wonder how a guy like me got a woman like moss...(yes, she puts up with my humor with a gracious smile. LOL)

I know I have ruined her reputation by association. But if you ever meet her, you'll know what I am talking about. So the NC-17 one better come to me first. I am the filter around here. ;)

got the punch line. LOLOL

it wasn't that bad (content wise) sue, I seen worse on Dr. Phill......LOL

:D

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning til night she was always complaining about something.

The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again.

Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head.

Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.

When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."