sorry... please read... and thanks.
 

there is a stormtide rising and falling within me

i can't seem to do much about it. i do not want to be more precise about it it i would have to use the trigger thingy so 'nuff said. point is....

sorry if some of my posts are highhanded and upset you or are offputting.

fyi, in this 'tide' i am hypersensitive and some posts (or absence of them) easily may upset me right now. then i am very reactive (too much).

i will try not to post but am also very impulsive.

again i'm sorry if i upset anyone.

i will try to be better, if nothing else, about staying away until the storm breaks. it is ironic that when i most need support i am in least condition to receive because i might bite a hand or two off that is set in front of me, even if it contains food on occasion. now i am crying.

-----------------

thanks to those of you who have in any way attempted to provide support to me during recent bad times, and

special apologies if i have not responded well.... or not responded at all. i have been erratic.

bye for a while hopefully in a sad stupid, ironic way.

storm ~ waves ~

Ohhhh, I'm sorry you are feeling this very low, deep, feeling of pain...You are doing good to post! If it offends anyone, they don't have to read....You are entitled to your emotions regardless of them being good, bad or ugly. That's what emotions are.
If you need an ear, I will listen. You can pm me anytime. NO TRIGGER THINGIES PLEASE!

don't worry or try not to worry. i really understand. i am there too
Love
Bobby

while i can still post...
 

i soon may not be able to...

i have made a special request for temporary voluntary suspension of posting privileges. it would resolve the impulsivity issue.

my request was a personal one and is pending but if specific conditions are possible it could happen one minute to the next. should this suspension be effected you would not see me post at all or even leave "thanks" acknowledgements, depending whether and how this is implemented.

the duration is indeterminate at this juncture, due to my condition.

Well I don't know you, & I believe it is my loss. I hope you come back soon or actually don't leave. Take good care either way!

:hug:

Waves...everyone...

We are going to do what is best for waves.

Waves,
You don't have to worry about us.

Is it ok that I am worried about you?
Please be ok.

Lots of hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug:


M.

There's hope
 

Years ago I was diagnosed with bi-polar, then called manic depression. Drugs did nothing. Finally I reluctantly underwent ECT (shock) treatments. Today I function. Do I still have bad times? Yes. Are they the deepest darkest of yesterday? No. I've just yesterday started a blog about my experiences.

Cambriajo

~waves~ just took you as my friend and need you to stay as a friend. Through God and prayer all things can be worked out. I will give you your space as you sound like you need it. Just don't do anything to harm yourself. Things can always be worked out even in the darkest hour of our lifes. :hug: I cannot say *I know how you feel cause I have not walked in your shoes* But I can say *I am praying for you n God bless you* I am sure we would all agree to a Group :grouphug: I care...and...so do others! :circlelove:

Oh waves, I am so sorry you're going through this right now. It's not easy to try to fight for an even head, goodness knows I am struggling with it too, but just know like the others I am worrying about you and wishing you strength to overcome this rough spot you're going though. :hug:

:grouphug: waves :grouphug:

I too will give you your space. I hope that you feel more yourself soon. If you do leave I will miss you, but do come back to us.

barbara

Late as usual.

:grouphug:

Hugs

Donna

Thanks Everyone
 

hi,

i'm back.

i may be a bit scarce, as i'm medded out of mind currently, but at least not as labile as before, not as anything as before. krikey i was impossible. i couldn't even stand myself... but i had to, lol.

my "hiatus" was needed as much for my own sanity as for general benefit of the forum not being subjected to potentially ungracious posts. in any event, even not logged in i did see this thread grow with all your wonderfully supportive messages and i am grateful for having all of you here, and for the the support you have shown me.

A few extra words to those who are new, or relatively new, to me................

Gardengrl, it's nice to meet you :) It would have been my loss too not to get to meet you properly, but, no need for losses... i'm back. Thank you for posting to me.

Maggie, i will check your visitor messages to see if you've posted a reply to what system and browser you use, so i can help get you set up for disabling animation. the web is getting more and more animated unfortunately

Cambriajo, i'm glad to hear ECT made such a difference in your life. My most recent issue was mixed symptoms, and meds do work, so we use those... we had to increase one and add one for a week. I do know of others for whom ECT was essentially a lifesaver.. thanks for posting.

.............................................. weeeeeeeeeeeell,

i'll be around. :)

:grouphug:

~ waves ~

You were missed
 

Welcome home waves. :hug:

Any leftover hambugers from mom? :Starvin:

Glad you're better
 

This was the first time I had ever posted to a site, so I was glad to get your reply. Also glad your meds made a difference. Support does too, with everything in life, so stay in touch with all your buddies, old and new. Help can come from from so many places, expected and unexpected so always be on the look out for the sunshine. And as my grandfather used to tell me, if I don't see you soon, I'll see you in the funny papers. (I'm not sure what he meant, but it was a term of endearment.) Cambriajo

to Curious and Cambriajo
 

Thank you Curious! OH and... ehhhh, erhmmm, well..... you see.... we did actually have mini-burgers tonight!!! haha! mom's home-made too. but i already ate 'em all up so no monkeying around with my dinner tonight!!! (and no after dinner cookie either any more... that's ok... after gaining 11 lbs i ... just can't. :o Today there's... A LOT MORE of me! ;)

Dear Cambriajo, yes having good support does make a world of difference too, doesn't it! i do keep in touch with friends... old and new, online and RL, phone, whatever i can with what resources i have. i used to resent how many of my friends simply do not initiate communications, and if i didn't do it, we would likely have long lost touch. but some do, and the others... well, so perhaps i'm better (even tho erratic!) at keeping in touch than some people... but those people are surely better at other things than i am! bottom line, the result is worth the effort, so i make the effort.

speaking of which, i hope you choose to stay with us here on this forum. Thank you again for reaching out to me when i was having such a rotten time. So... maybe start a thread, and tell us a little about yourself, hmmmmmmmmmm.....? :p I hope today is a good day for you. :)

~ waves ~ with the snoozies now (hey, better than the sneezies!)

Waves,

Glad to see you back.

barbara

hi barbara
 

thanks for the welcome ;) and it's nice to see you too! :)

~ waves ~

Dear Waves-thanks for the encouragement to open up. I'm what's now been labeled a boomarang senior, one who has returned to live with their children. My husband and I have been living with different children since September, we got hit in the economic crunch of the California decline with a house to sell. The house has finally sold, but that didn't solve our economic issues, so I'm not quite sure what my future holds. Who is? We're too young to live with our children the rest of our lives (my mother is still alive at 95!) and moving around to different cities has completely destroyed any support system I had so this thread is good for me Thanks again

Cambriajo

Not sure I spelled it correctly, but I'm Donna. Welcome.

You are always welcome to start your own thread also, or talk to
us on any of the other threads too. We will respond as much
as we can.

Sure sounds like you have a real thing going on. I sure wish I could
help you. Do you ever get out to the Indiana area. If so let me
know.

Donna