do you think that people graduate from boards like this
 

hi,
I'm needing some role models.

I remember one person for sure with a big case of bipolar who got better, reduced her meds, and left the boards because she was in good shape.

I can't think of anyone else. I know of a few who seem to have gotten better and don't visit the boards.

Or do people cut back on board time, leave, and then get better?
mari

Hi Mari
 

Personally for me, I left the boards because this is where I use to sit and drink at my computer table night after night, the whole cycle of me sitting here had to be broken. And I think it accounted for alot of my rants, and trying to be overly funny in posts.

I resolved that indeed I have an addiction. I joined AA, and have been sober for 9 months. I do AA everyday which is like a daily reprieve, daily affirmation, daily thing in my life that provides support. Everyday, 7 days a week, and I still think its group therapy, but we just don't call it that. I also attend therapy, once a week and see my psychiatrist every month (who is still useless, but works, I have no control over him anymore.) Not to get all AA on you, but Step One is basically saying "we determined our lives were unmanagable," and mine REALLY WAS, and Two, came to believe that a higher power (any kind) could restore US TO SANITY. That one made me say "I AM IN, HANDS DOWN."

AA way of life is hard to describe, its led me to a "spiritual" experience as opposed to just a resolve that I am screwed up royally, and aside from that it does not have to be about religion its spiritual in anyway you make it. I was at the sober 7 mths point and went into the hospital for a manic attack as I have described before, very psychotic, so I know for sure its not just alchohol that is my problem I really am bipolar. But being sober makes me more aware of what each medication makes me feel and do as opposed to before.

Once I was over sitting at the computer table without the alchohol, I found it hard to post because, I did need a break, I had to stop the cycle of sitting here. I now workout twice as much, the gluten diet worked and I did it for 5 months, but now I just watch what I eat, and I am fine, but it does work, I lost 30lbs which incredibly helped my self worth and self esteem issues.

I guess the real thing is I just cut back on time on the boards because I am trying to look at bipolar from a diff angle and the tenents they teach you as opposed to focusing on bipolar, now I have something else to obsess about?? :-) There are so many, so many, bipolars in AA its UNREAL and I feel right at home and we do talk about it because some way or another we all ended up with bipolar or depression before, after or during drinking or stopping.

The spiritual experience is very strong, and that is what helps me, I need to believe in something, that there is more to life, and that it can happen and will SLIGHTLY restore me to some degree of managable, standard of living.

I wonder if that helps. Even more, I get so paranoid on these boards, fear I am trying to conquer also.

Good ???????? I think people come and go as they feel they need to.

Graduate, well since it is a disease, I doubt we ever graduate. We just learn how to deal with things differently, yet we all need support at all times in our lives, just like people w/o BP.

Nikko

Maybe some do.I just tend to get expelled.

graduation
 

forgive me... roflmao... graduate from these boards... i love it i love it. :D i think all four of your observations are true, in different cases.

wise observations.

~ waves ~ sends you all well wishes

I get paranoid a lot. I find it hard not to second guess and come to negative conclusions.It's hard knowing how to interpret where other people are coming
from sometimes.

Dear Friends,
I don't even know what to say. I am moved by your sharing.

My last two pdocs said that people get better. They've seen it. So I am going to believe that. I am going to hold on to it.

And I am going to keep posting. Because I need to see your faces/monikers.

Thank you very much.
Mari

2 week vacation from bipolar
 

Hi,

If you could take a vacation from bipolar, what whould you do?

I think I would do something that requires a clear mind not addled by meds.
Like cook a full meal. Or write a so so novel. Or decorate the living room so it looks like a room people live in. Or invite myself somewhere where interesting people have clever conversations.

Or I could go get drunk without worrying about med reactions.

Or maybe, for a vacation from bipolar, I could get on a plane without worrying about freaking out and making the security people nervous. http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/tr...t/airplane.gif

Or maybe go visit my parents and know which issues I have with them are them and which issues are me.

Feel lost because I am not myself?

That's enough. What would you do?

Mari

I want to tell you mari that you are beautiful just the way you are.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

recovery? stopping meds? leaving here? vacations from bipolar?
 

Mari, you ask, what is the chance of 1) getting stable/recovering, 2) markedly reducing meds and 3) graduating to no longer needing this board..

I think there is a good chance of getting much more stable with 1) reduction and control of stress in your life, 2) becoming aware of triggers so you can either avoid them, reduce their impact or get ready to see your doc, therapist or tweak your meds, 3) becoming aware of the EARLY signs of a mood swing. Having the right kinds of psychotherapies can, we are told, help. And those types of therapy involved teaching different ways of thinking about and reacting to things that happen around us and to us. Triggers.

Reducing meds? Who can tell when your brain is different from my brain which is different from the next brain. We are all very well acquainted with the fact that -with many of us- our responses to our meds tend to fluctuate over time as -presumably- our brain gets "used to" the pharmacy correction and "finds a way around." None of this is for sure, but research being done. I know that one of the persons left on nothing more than a miniscule amount of Prozac. I have periodically cut back to JUST Lamictal or JUST an AD --- but each time, eventually, I have either entered a depression and needed to up my AD or noticed myself acting just a bit more like a teenager - always my "clue" ...

Reducing meds? When I was on Xyprexa and gaining weight like a placid feedlot cow, I wanted off it. When I was on Geodon and couldn't drive and having panic attacks, I wanted off it. When I was having previously NEVER KNOWN rages on other meds, I wanted off them. But my current meds MAKE ME FEEL NORMAL and I do NOT want to even contemplate "getting off them" when I think of all the years I lived without them.

Reducing meds? I would NOT want to reduce meds if my quality of life lessens. If I get more impulsive. If my interpersonal relationships suffer.

As far as "leaving this board"?? I don't come here every day. When I am here, I don't read every thread. I prefer having this group, even if I don't contribute as much as I think I should. I can find comfort and group identity -- especially concerning how my family has responded to my DIAGNOSIS (even tho I have been "me" my whole life and even tho I am a MUCH calmer, more stable person since my diagnosis) since I am officially "the crazy one". It is rough and it is NOT what I expected at all. I LIKE the fact that others know where I am emotionally about that. Who else but a group of BiPolars know what it is like to be labeled bipolar in this world? When a mod decided I was out, I had absolutely NO peer group for over a year. And it was hard.

So I never daydream about those kinds of things ...I am just too blessed by what I have gained by 1) having the diagnosis, 2) having meds and 3) having this group.

I hope as you approach Christmas and count all your blessings, any of us who have any sense of shame and unworthiness about being bipolar, and toss those feelings in the trash. There ARE worse things than bipolar. We could have AIDS like my dead brother or Cancer like my family members who have died from cancer, or disabling diabetes like my dad who might lose a leg to gangrene eventually. Or we could be hopelessly schizophrenic, unable to function in society, or an autistic adult whose parents have died and who now is dependent of the state to house and feed and clothe him. Or we could be homeless. Wheeling a shopping basket with all our worldly goods, living in doorways or over heating vents. Accepting charitable coats and blankets and overnight housing in this weather. Hoping we can get transportation to the community charity Holiday meal in our city -- if we LIVE in city that has one

And as for my idea of "having a vacation from Bipolar"? Why, I've experienced that every day since I got on the right meds for me. I am having to learn life skills I never ever learned and life skills that I have lost during the years of illness... and when I finish my interrupted education, that will be a red letter day indeed. But every day is a gift to me now. I have a constant friend for almost all of 8 years now, in another two months. Never in my entire life have I have had a friend that long. Ever.

wow...
this is great!
You sound so healthy teri,
am happy for you.
Glad to hear this today!
((((HUGS))))
bizi

mari,
I actually think that I am getting more dependant on them....
my hubby thinks that I am "addicted" to them....well I am not sure just what that means...I certainly can not go a day with out checking at least 2-3 times aday.....
just me I guess,
some people watch 3 hours of tv at night...me I just surf the net....
bizi

If i could take a vacation from bipolar I would call all my friends and my uncle..I generally have a cheerful funny nature...I love to laugh and giggle...
and not necessarily inappropriately although I do have a strange sense of humor. I also like other people cleaning my apartment so I don't think I would want to waste the precious time to clean.
Bobby
ps I actually updated two of my webpages tonite...for the past months I haven't been able to do much of anything except read and listen to music and pet the kitty cats

So wonderful
 

Nutty,
You are an amazing person. I am so glad that you posted, that is a huge gift to share.

I think formal support or groups is good, but who has the enegy to fit it in. Getting showered, dressed, driving there and then participating.

Forums like ours allow anyone needing a friend, information, support or a hello, to come in anytime, whether we showered, dressed, combed our hair, Hey, I didn't brush me teeth yet this morning, I was only going to start the coputer while coffee brewed and then I made it an official pitstop before I even got to brush my teeth.

I saw great pictures, had a new friend share a wonderful accomplishment, got caught up on some reading, and it made a great start to my day.

I come to the forum, like stopping at the local coffee shop, but while here I find tons of info, support, and give a little back.
The closest thing in real life to that I think is the local senior citizen center and I am a bit too young for that yet, lol.

Everybody needs a circle of friends, perhaps it is people leave, but read, some have outside commitments to stop in on a regular basis, but then there are the many people that don't even know about boards like this.

Some have a close family, or close friend, Church structure, medications allow them no matter what conditions they ahve to go day to day forgeting they have a problem....

Whatever reason, some folks come and go to many forums, some are long time groupies forever like me.
There is nothing like signing on and finding a friend any time of day or night.

When my daughter nearly lost her life during a super flesh eating bactierial infecion in Feb. the prayers and support and information medical wise safed her life for sure. Within hours prayers and wishes came pouring in. Hundreds gacve us support and finally after a month she came home. With ehr arm intact too!

Because of the forums' memembers.
I will never forget that.

God bless those with the energy or lack of energy to be away from here, but thoughts and prayers are with all.
Di

Thanks
 

Thanks a bunch

Hi, I'm Donna, the sister of some very special ladies with you guessed
it bi polar. And the mom of one young adult now with bi-polar. And
another one with depression and another with anxiety. And the other
side who knows what all they have. But myself I've delt with many things.
Through my life.

I have to say I think all you are amazing, and I have to say I hope even
if you come to the belief you have grown out of the need to post on this
site or anyother. That you will remember to come back and post and
give the wisdom you have found to the others.

You have no real idea how much each and every one of you has helped
another each day. How many you might have given just one glimpse of
If she can get through the day, so can I. So please remember if you can
do it so can another.

I hope you don't mind my reading and being here, I don't believe I'm bipolar
but I have anxiety for all my son's issues, and I have other issues myself.

But I take much from reading what others say and what helps them.

And you are all very strong folks in this room.

THanks for not going anywhere this month.

Donna

Christmas: no problem
 

Hi,
I was mostly down because of work/sleep/stress. We are in a work let up since Thursday night but I still have stuff to do this weekend to get caught up.

The holidays are not much of an issue for me. My husband is Muslim. He cared about Thanksgiving but not about Christrmas. He and I don't buy presents for each other.
No tree; no shopping. No special food.
Near Christmas I will
-- send out about 5 Christmas cards to cousins,
-- call my brothers (rarely speak to them because of SILs), and
-- go to church. I go to church most Christmases and enjoy it. That is exactly enough holiday for me.

That's it. Really.

I look forward to Christmas because we get some time off from work and I can catch up on exercise or on oragnizing the apt.

mari

Welcome Donna
 

Dear Nuttybuddy,
You are going great to go to keep up with the meetings.
Do you still do yoga and run?

And congrats about weight loss that you mentioned in an earlier post too.
I remember that you were eating a lot of fish and that you cut out wheat. Are you still sort of following the diet?

And you are right to remember that Christmas is Monday.

Hair extensions!

You sound like you are doing well. This makes me happy.
Mari

You are certainly welcome here Donna!
Thank you for the nice compliments about our "home in cyber space"
YOu too have a lot of experience in the world of mental health and we welcome your insight about things that you have learned....feel free to join in when ever you like!
IMO...mental health covers a very broad spectrum....we are all human and have feelings and can empathize with one another...that is what makes this a special place.

Thankfully we are not all at one end of the poles at the same time.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

:confused: What's great? Having someone stick with me so long, thru all the s**t I've been thru? Well, it helps that he lives on the other side of the world. :rolleyes: But he does have a very big heart for he has been thru many terrible times of his own and he has a brother with severe BPD who he loves deeply. Yeah, he has a big heart. I am very blessed that he took me under his wing.

Far far far from it, Bizi. Yes, I'm better off than homeless people and dying people, but the things I am grateful for are things like
A roof over my head and walls and windows that keep out most of the weather
A heater and hot water in the winter
A refrigerator and a stove
A way to get the few blocks to the store and the local clinic

I have been homeless before because of my illness. Several times. You learn to appreciate such things when you are homeless.

Yes, I'm doing so much better on meds than not on meds, I'm very grateful for that, but when I talk "Life Skills", I'm talking keeping my dishes washed and the kitchen clean, personal hygiene, getting out of the apartment (actually eye to eye with another human being) more than once a month. I have a long long way to go, but meds and support are the only way I'll ever get there. I doubt I will ever get cranky about having bipolar because what is, is. My reasons to be grateful will always outweigh the desperation of homelessness. Everything else is very small next to that.

There are a lot of bipolars living on the streets and living behind bars here in glorious wonderful America ever since the early 70's when ignorant self-rightous and self-virtuous "personal freedom" fighters decided to protect my freedom by making it much more difficult for me to get the psychiatric help that used to be our right as citizens in the richest and most advanced nation in the world .. If my daughter did not have a father paying her rent, she would be in jail more often than she is out because the psychiatric care system in this country really doesn't exist.

but thanks for the hugs.
Teri

if I had the ability to cry, I would have cried while reading your post...I have a deep seated fear about homelessness and I was working in the mental health field when they decided to open the doors to mental patients but failed to provide them with backup....boy did those crusaders fail.
my life skills are pitiful now....it really is difficult to admit how devastating bipolar is...
Bobby

Dear Teri,
It seems that my post to you upset you....
I am sorry I certainly did not mean to upset you.
This last paragraph is why I responded the way I did.

you said that you are experiencing a vacation away from bipolar since you got on meds...that is great!

you said that you were learning things that you never knew before...wonderful that you well enough to be learning them now!

I am so glad that you have this friend for so long now...I have my best friend with her 2 month old baby girl who is leaving me and moving away...I am very sad about this....

It's great that you have been posting again and that you are expressing yourself...and it sounds like you are making plans to go back to school...and this is why I thought you sounded healthy.

I am sorry if my post somehow was wrong....
bizi

Thank you for the warm welcome. I will stick around and learn
more and do what I can to help. Sometimes it helps just to
listen and try to be a good ear to hear.

Donna