Addicts and cutters w/ RSD...
 

Hi all!
I'm Sarah and I'm addicted to pain killers as well as other things. I am currently in recovery and my pain management doc knows about my chemical dependency problems. He only gives me Lyrica (granted its 100mg 4x daily) and just started me on Zanaflex( 4mg 3x daily) for my RSD. They both help the pain, but I was wondering if anyone has any solutions that aren't narcotics.
I also am a cutter and find it easy to control my pain when all I have to do is smash my arm on something. I'm on meds for my depression and haven't hurt myself for a few months (on purpose).
Anyone else in a similar position?
Anyone just want to talk about this?

Appreciate you reading my thread!!!
Have a blessed day!
Sarah

Hi Sarah,
 

Are you in councelling for this? I think it's important to have councelling when you are going through so much.

I have been suicidal sense I could remember. Around 8 or 9 maybe. I have been in councelling for years. I got worse after I got RSD and that's when I got into councelling.

I am not an addict. I think it's something where a person has to have an addictive personality and also I think it runs in the family at times.

Sorry that you are going through so much. It's good that you found the group. Maybe someone else can give you more insight.

Ada

I think you need help beyond your RSD problem. I would try and seek out councelling, as Ada stated earlier.

Replies
 

Thank you for ur advice about the counseling.
I do not have the money for counseling, but recovery groups and my sponser help me thru my issues. A sponser is someone in recovery that has been thru the steps in recovery and guides, supports, and is a true friend to you.
I wasn't really looking to tell someone how messed up I am, no offense intended ( I know how screwed up I am:p), I was only wondering if there was anyone in a closely related unique situation, like mine.
I do have a bit of depression currently, but am trying to trust in my Higher Power to get me out of it. Like all of you, I'm sure you experience occassional small bouts of depression. I don't want to up my anti-depressants everytime I get a little depressed. I prefer to get thru it UNLESS I feel a little suicidal. Then I speak to someone, usually my doctor.
I tried to commit suicide when I was 16 and don't ever want to put my family thru that ordeal again. It is an act of pure selfishness. If you don't believe that, I wouldn't mind talking to u.:hug:
I have not been partial to counseling since I got out of treatment and was kinda molested by my therapist (again I know how messed up I am;)). I just can't afford it and don't want to have to find a new counselor.

I hope someone can get something out of this, and again I am looking for anyone in a unique situation like me.

Have a blessed day!!
Sarah

years ago on another forum there was a TOS {thoracic outlet syndrome} member that had a user name of cutter, I don't think she has joined here.
And the other forum had a crash so all those old posts are lost now.

Have you looked at our sister site also?
They don't cover the RSD medical part but addictions and self injury are covered..
Forums at Psych Central!
http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=57

We do have some Mental Health forums here too, but no self injury section.
Mental Health Conditions
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum84.html

plus we have an active SOS forum {Survivors of Suicide}
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html
for survivors, for family, members that had those feelings before or still do at times.

I don't know if you would be interested or not...but I have found a list of counselors and therapists in the Dallas area... many work on a sliding scale fee based on your income.

http://therapists.psychologytoday.co...zip/75214.html

Call around.... I'm would think you could find someone to help you on a sliding scale...

I understand where you are.... I too have RSD and I too used to cut... haven't for a long time but the thought often is forefront in my mind.

:hug:
Abbie

Dear Sarah,

I hope these lines fine you doing better. I think it is very wise of you to reach out. God can move many mountains. He can and does heal, kind of like an onion he heals us in layers. Please be good to you. Much Love, Roz

Hi I am sorry for your mental and physical pain. I can not relate completly but was in a pain prorgam that was full days that was with many people who were addicted to pain killers. I do not have this problem but was wondering if you had health insurance and could get into a program similar?They do not allow narcotics at all and the only meds are like the ones you are taking. This is not a program for everyone like for myself who even they felt needed more intervention pain med or treatment wise but I can see where if you are in a place similar to what you are stating it can really be a good thing. They do a combo of things like PT and mental coping/groups.
On a side note I do suffer from depression/anxiety. I had this severe for many years before this and my other physical conditions. Then it did get to a good point but now since I have so many limitations and am in such high pain I felt my anxiety and depression were needing more support. I am a full beleiver that you don't wait till it becomes a suicide or crisis point. So I encourage you to see some of the signs you are stating and get more support now rather then later. I understand your bad experiences with a T but that was because they were a bad person but a new T can really help you and support you through this hard process. Many will work on a sliding scale. If you want you can email me as supports can be very helpful or anyone else too I am here. You are not alone and I hope you don't truly see yourself as messed up. Yes you may have some problems now but as my psych says who doesn't. You can get through this in a healthy way.Cutting and drug abuse is not the way and only numbs you for a short while and eventially to get past or through the problems you have to face the. You may have to do things that you don't like to though for a better life and push past many fears.
Hugs to all.

post cutter and now with RSD
 

Hi there,
I used to be a cutter back in high school and was also anorexic. I never got counseling for long but wished I could have. It must be hard to have pain but not be able to take much to stop it. I found that my cutting came from life experiences and because I held too much in...not wanting anyone to know that I had problems. When I finally talked about it I felt better. Counseling is not only an outlet to let you talk but a safe person that can help give you pointers on what to do when in crisis. I found if I had the urge I needed to call a trusted friend.... reach out and use any support system you can....this forum maybe a good outlet for you. There are crisis phone lines in most areas also... check your phone book and you will find crisis lines- don't be scared to use it if you need it!!!!!
Feel your pain,
Jen

i had a twin sister who was a cutter and she also abused pain medicine, i had such a hard time understanding what she was going through when she cut herself, i did ask why do you do that and she said i hurt so bad inside when i cut it lets the pain out. like i said she abused pain meds like ie.. xanex and so on but the dr did put her on soboxone (spelling?) which did take away withdrawls she had coming off pain meds and it did help with her neck pain. i dont know if that medicine will help you but it is non narcotic and its there for people who have pain and abuse there pain meds. talk to someone who you feel comfortable with counslers,dr,friends to help you heal with your pain you feel inside, many prayers are with you take care of yourself.. michelle

Dear Sarah,

The only way I can think of that most of us would be able to survive without the "addictable" meds is if we had something else for the pain that worked. Right now I know that I don't. I really would like to start on Lidocaine infusions. (The information for which I received from another wonderful, generous member of this board whom I believe happens to be a member of the Canadian Health Care system). When I gave the Lidocaine info to my RI PM doc he wrote he a letter the next day quitting my case. When I gave the info to my Boston PM docs they wrote up 4 different requests for my insurance company, all of which were rejected. So here I sit, still on percocet, waiting for another SGB in a few weeks, that will probably only a few last weeks, then we'll do it again, etc.

My PCP has told me that if you are in pain and take narcotics for it, then technically you are not addicted. Since I haven't stopped taking percocet for a pretty long time I just don't know how true that is. I know that when I increase my physical activity on weekends because I am cleaning the house or the yard I will deliberately increase my meds because increased activity usually causes me to get excrutiating headaches.

I'm so sorry that you have to face the issues of pain and addiction at the same time. That must be really awful. Perhaps if you could gain access to lidocaine or ketamine infusions the need for other meds would be eliminated. Can you discuss those options with your doctors?

The best of luck to you. Sandy

Hello Sarah,

Please follow the advice to check some of the other forums. There are a lot of wonderful people on here with good advice. It helps to talk with people.

I have full body RSD. I go to the YMCA 2 sometimes 3 times a week. The exercise is good for you and you are weightless in the water so it doesn't hurt. Y's have financial assistance availiable to those who need help.

God has been my biggest supporter through all of this. I ask him for strength and energy to make it through the day and peace of mind so I can sleep at night. He has NEVER failed to meet my needs. My doctors are amazed at how well I manage with full body RSD it also effects my heart and lungs. I tell them I would be worse if it were not for my God. I went through a suicidal stage. As I walked toward the garage to start the car and take my life. The holy spirit intervened and I stopped and fell to my knees and prayed for help. I let go of my burden of sickness and gave it to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. The book of Proverbs 3 vs. 5-7 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto mine own understanding. In all they ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes fear the LORD and depart from evil.
The only good thing that has come from this terrible condition is my personal reationship with God has gotten better.
Feel free to send me a personal message and we can talk.
God is free and only a prayer away!!
I wish you the best of luck and may God bless you!!
Take care,
Sherrie

Hi Sarah -
I'm not sure your doctor should be calling you addicted. Most RSD pain can only be controlled or slightly reduced by using drugs that require increasing doses to be effective (e.g. narcotics, opioids). That is not being addicted to the drugs. Addiction is when you are taking the pain meds for reasons OTHER than pain control.
Also regarding the cutting -- this is an RSD issue, not a separate issue for another board. There is some biological brain research that shows higher activity in the brain that relates to the urge to cut in RSDers than others. A lot of the urge does have to do with creating an alternate pathway to the brain that overrides that same ole boring RSD pain. Even an alternate pain pathway.
I hope that you can feel 'normal' (?!) for struggling with both the meds and the cutting. Mostly it's part of the miserable disease... hope your docs are willing to do some RSD research and learn about these aspects, so that they are not too judgmental.
HUGS