Lil'Monkey's a Snitch. (long)
 

Here is what happened last Thursday in her choir class.

One of the girls SPIT in the choir directors coffee mug when he was out of the room. :eek:

Lil'Monkey and 2 other girls ran off the risers to stop him from taking a swig. They told him there was spit in his mug. He asked who did it. They told him.

He took the girl in his office. Not sure what happened, but I do know she wasn't formally discaplined.

A group from choir, about 5 or 6, that like to make trouble any ways, started harrssing the girls for being snitches. Spread it like wildfire.

By the time she got to 5th period she was really upset. One of the students told the 5th period teacher happened and that the girl who did the spitting and the gang she belongs to, was threatening Lil'Monkey. :eek: The teacher goes to the principal.

I know nothing of any of this mind you. Kids can't use cell phones and call mom. :wink:

Later that afternoon, after school is out, I get a phone call from the principal letting me know that she is Ok and her safety is his first concern. :eek: WHAT?

She is at a track meet after school in a neighboring city...and I haven't heard from her, nor is she answering her phone. :eek:

He gets frantic...I call hubby...he is frantic...they both take off for the track meet.

Hubby calls and calls her. 20th call she answers...Dad...I'm at a TRACK meet...( huffing and puffing...) don't call me. :p

Fast forward to yesaterday.

The spitter is on ISS ( in school suspension) until what date, I don't know. The school can't give out that info. :rolleyes: She is also in 2 other of Lil'Monkey's classes. After ISS...they will be in 3 classes together.

The same choir kids are still harrassing, during class and the director does nothing. He never even thanked the girls for saying anything. :mad:

She is still getting rude remarks about being a snitch. Lil'Monkey is a peace maker, not a fighter. Heck..6ft..and works out everyday...she could flatten most of the boys. :D Squash um like bugs. :p

She does have a large admiring group of very protective boys who workout at the gym, who will be guarding her. Hubby had a talk with them yesterday. Naturally none of the kids making the remarks have done so to them. :rolleyes:

I am getting very tired of calling of the school about this choir director. He is new this year. Done a horrible job. She is wanting to quit choir. :eek:

Discussion...advice...

That really sucks!!! And that's why I hated high school...sounds like little has changed regarding ganging up on people and bullying.

I'd have a face to face with that choir director who is clueless!! Kids have been know to commit suicide because of being bullied. (never your gal but it happens.) give him this link...http://www.schoolsafety.us/pubfiles/...act_sheets.pdf

Really ticks me off!!

We took her out for Chinese food last night to discuss this.

Gave her a few come backs:

You may not like me, I may not like you, but if ANYONE ever spits in YOUR food, I'll tell you.

I wonder how many times she spit in YOUR drink and no one told you?

What is upsetting to her the most, is that these people have been her friends for years. The choir group are close friends.

I am hoping that the teasing ones are doing so, cuz they think she can take it. But the girl who spit and her gang...they are scary. Very scary girls. :eek:

I agree Alffe. I'm really glad she keeps talking to us about this. She has gotten teased for being so tall, for her birthmark on her neck, her looks...

This has just been a hard year.

At Christmas the director told her 10 minutes before a basketball game that she DID NOT get a solo, because she was TOO talented and she would have many solo's plus a singing carreer.

The jerk had actually talked the principal after he told her, failed to tell him he had told her no, just asked his advice. The prinicpal has known her since elementary school, told the director that solo's go to the best. Always has been that way, and always should.

The jerk called my husband at the club and told him to call her and tell her he changed his mind..that YES, she was the best and got the solo.

ARGGHHH...it does feel good to vent about this guy.

Hubby says he is going up to the school and talk to the Principal. Hubby used to a morning Dad Crossing Guard with the Principal. First name basis. :wink:

Wow, I hated high school too for all the same reasons. That choir director needs to go, in my humble opinion. I am glad your hubby is stepping in there. Glad lil monkey has protection too :D :)

I wish lil monkey the best...these are difficult times. Locally, last week,
an 11 year old boy hung himself after repeated bullying his first year in
middle school. :(:mad::mad: His mother had gone to the school repeatedly:(

Im glad she is talking to you....I will pray that things get better.
She does sound like a confidant young woman with family support...very important!!

:hug:s to you too Mom:hug:

I hope she watches her food and her drinks:eek:
they might try to get even that way.


If the situation happens again with another spit offense or something, maybe a different way to go about that part without being a complete "snitch"??

maybe,
tell person something got in his cup or food so best to not eat or drink it.

you don't know how it got there.... even if you do know..

or pretend you are swatting at fly and drop a piece of paper or something into the cup or plate... so they won't eat or drink...

then they won't have to kow it had spit in it too...

Where it stands now..I think..
the principal has to deal with the teacher and any real threats.
So if any serious threats or actions - they need to be reported.

also if some words are left to blow over - they usually will.

a lot of it is all talk...by the tough ones:(

some kids like to keep the drama up esp ones with no real direction in their life.

if they see lil monkey carrying on with her life they will move on to something else.

Document, document, document.....and then document some more.

Keep track of any and all phone calls and/or correspondence sent or received. Anything you send...send it certified.

I'm not sure what the laws are in your state but if it's allowed I'd take a small tape recorder to any meeting held with that choir director or the school principal. Geez.....am I sounding paranoid or what?? :o In this day and age of sue happy people you just can't protect yourself too much. Especially when it comes to your child....I'd rather be overly cautious than too laid back.

It's sad that it has come to this. Kids (and adults) can be so cruel. I just do not understand the mentality behind it.

We did have to file a police report.

Yeppers Kitty, we are keeping track of everything. Sad that we have to, but better to be safe than sorry.

Since there is a privacy issue, we don't know if the teacher reported her. It's considered an assault.

She is trying to blow off as mch as she can Jo. She is busy with track and an up coming talent show. It just seems to be tiring to keep dealing with them.

She does have good self esteem sox. The whole thing baffles her that any of these kids would think spitting in someones drink would ok. Yes, she is watching hers closely. :wink:

We have done some teasing with her. Her lip was twitching after she bit it yesterday...we called her a Twitching Snitch. :p

Hubby has a busy day, so I won't hear about his meeting until later.

Thank you all so much for the replies. :grouphug:

Keep us posted dear lady....she deserves better than she's getting! :hug:

Just let us know if we need to saddle up and form a posse. I do believe a visit from a few of us here would probably deter those "mean girls" from ever even thinking of doing any harm to Lil' Monkey!! :cool: :cool:

Count me in!!

Ok..here's the scoop.

The gang girl has been sent to an alternative school. Privacy again...we can't be told for how long. Just that she is NOT on campus.

The principal wants to know right away if Lil'Monkey is harrassed or threatened by anyone.

The choir director did file a report. The police came to the school and took statements from him and the other girls. (Lil'Monkey is at a district track meet)

:D Come on Posse! Show them not to mess with monkeys.

Glad all has worked out. What a nightmare.

Hopefully Sandy. Won't know if the name calling will continue until she is at school tomorrow.

I did get an email from one of the other girls mother. Surprised me, since we haven't discussed this with anyone besides the school...and whole world wide web. :wink:

She called to Snitch on one of the girls that has been name calling her daughter. She has known the other mother for a few years. They go to the same Pentacostal church. Guess that girl will get a tongue lashing. :o

Wow...just a second to comment,made dinner plans with family.

Is there any way the gang girl can be transferred to another school,where Lil' Monkey doesn't deal with her?

More later...:grouphug::grouphug:to all of the monkeys! ;)

Just heard if a similar thing happeneing here in the US. Some kids thought it was funny to spike a teachers coffee with a vomit inducing med. :rolleyes:

That is horrible Sandy.

CNN/HLN has the story on right now of the little boy that committed suicide because of bullying. :(

I juist don't understand kids or adults that act this way.

In my area about 10 yrs ago a teacher's mug was spiked with LSD...

It was hard finding a site for this because so much time has lapsed:
http://www.jackshafer.com/magazine/lsdflashback.htm
It was girl and the case was found guilty and ended up in the Mich. Supreme Court. As I recall, he was a recent widower, and had hallucinations about his wife. Ended up in psyche ward for a while! Very sad.

The long term care facility I worked at had a data entry girl
spiked --someone added something to her water bottle.
She ended up in the hospital...it was all hushed up...but she did not return to the job. I was on vacation at the time.

Girls are getting pretty aggressive these days.

There is a chilling book out there I ran into about 3 yrs ago.
http://www.rachelsimmons.com/index.htm
This is a disturbing book for some, but it is also a good resource for others. It is amazing how awful people can be to each other.

BTW my son was sexually harassed in 9th grade. It is a long story, so I won't go into it here. The perp was suspended for 1 month, and dropped out in his senior year, but he harassed an autistic student the next year. The PE teacher who allowed this to happen and did not help my son when he requested help, was let go the next year too. (he had a history of oogling the girls as well with many complaints from parents).

I was soooooo glad when high school was finally over. GAD it was an ordeal at times!

Yeah!!! I love to ride horses and protect the innocent...:D
Just give me a lasso.....:)

Scott went through this in middle school it was horrible. i was up there at least once a week. It was because of his tourettes, but the teasing and bullying was just horrid. I hope the name calling stops... stuff like this makes me so angry.:mad:

You tell Lil'Monkey I got her back. NO one better mess with my monkeys. :mad:

MrsD, she had a boy grab her rear, very sexually when she was in the 6th grade. She walked right out of class, straight to the Vice Principal's office. Just so happen..he is her Principal at the school she is in now. :)

A sexual harrassment charge was made against the boy. He was sent to an alternative school.

Natually after she reported the incedent, about a dozen girls came forward that he done other grabbings.

It changed the kids life. For the better. He is a great kid now. She's friends with him. He is the first to say her standing up to him changed him for the better. He got the help he needed to understand what he did was wrong and why.

<----monkey hands mistiis her cowboy hat. :D

Hopefully with her not being at school all day, outta sight, outta mind and some other drama has taken her place.

I'll tell her Shelley. I bet sending an puss oozing woman after these kids would scare the crap out of them. :eek:

Ayup they will love it...just like a horror movie...I can be their worst nightmare

I wish I had the right words to say here Curious, but I don't.

I was actually afraid when I first read what happened. I was thinking that first there's saliva in a drink.... next time it might be drugs. That worried me, so I'm glad that things have been sorted out.

Thank you for sharing the story about the boy who turned himself around! That was nice. :)

We personally think the boy who harassed our son went on to become a pedophile. He also had anti-social tendencies.
His parents were useless. My husband did that discussion because I was too emotional...and he said they were losers.
They were only interested in finding excuses for their son's behaviors.
(this is common trait in upscale neighborhoods unfortunately).
The major excuse they gave was that this boy had troubles because his older brother had ADHD! LIKE... so he didn't learn at home to be patient/tolerant ? Instead to attack? How does ADHD brother= grabbing the crotch of another student? The parents obviously were not dealing with the needs of their own children. And the school admin just said...this boy was in trouble ALL THE TIME. So our complaint was sort of the worst and final nail.

So my husband's take was the parents were losers! And they probably were. But they did understand the word POLICE. We said if their son did one more deed, the Police would take care of him from then on. Also they responded to LAWSUIT. So we know they had some understanding! :rolleyes:

It would be encouraging to think our intervention changed this boy...but I don't think it did. He went on to drop out all together.
My son was terrified by this point, about making the complaint.
But he only suffered for about 2 weeks, the increased heckling from the other boys. Then he moved past it, and in the end it made him a stronger person.

Poor Lil'Monkey, as adults we know this kind of bullying exists, kids have had to deal with it for ever, but in todays world it tends to be more extreme. I personally think kids today are more vicious.

Lil'Monkey is a smart monkey.....she did the right thing and should be proud. These little pukes will move on to another victim soon:mad:......they tend to have the attention span of a gnat!

Hang in there Lil'Monkey!:hug:

Dottie

I just dropped her off at choir. She has it 2x today. 7am and then 2nd period. She wasn't to happy about going. :(

I think you are right Jaded. They have many more avenues to use their bullying. From mass texting to all the social networking sites. They can ruin a personas reputation in a matter of minutes.

I logged on to her facebook and myspace yesterday. I couldn't find where anything had been posted. I have a feeling that since the police are involved the girl won't do any of that, I'm just not sure about her friends. Also, not sure who Lil'Monkey had in common on her list.

We know many kids like that MrsD. Loser parents. The boy Lil'Monkey dealt with is a very good looking boy. I don't think he had been taught on how to be a gentleman. You like a girl..flirt..make eye contact..be nice..DO NOT TOUCH.

My husband and his workout partner, who's son has been Lil'Monkeys good friend since they were 5 :wink:, have a mentor program at the gym.

They have groups of boys with yep..loser parents, that they are teaching how to workout, but big time on the manners and respect. While working out they discuss work ethics, life stuff in general. These boys have 2 business men, who take care of their health, body builders, who don't use size to intimidate, to talk to, get guidence.

And these boys are Lil'Monkeys personal body guards.:D

She read all the replies last night. It made her feel so good that everyone cares so much. TY.

First of all, I think lil' monkey did the right thing. There is a difference between a snitch and someone who is doing the right thing. We tried to teach the grand moisses that when they were here and will keep on working on that. MAJOR difference: Snitch vs. Justice/right thing

so kudos to lil-monkey for having the COURAGE to step up. It is very hard to do the right thing sometimes. LOTS OF Cajones (excuse the language, but it's true).

What I worry about bullying these days is not just the physical bullying but what one can do on the internet. IF these gangs of girls decided to twitter/my space/face book lil-monkey and defame/degrade her in anyway, tell her to not to get upset about it and report it asap.

It's a long way from being thrown rocks at on the railroad tracks where my brother and I were teased on our way home walking on the railroad tracks and having rocks thrown at us for being "different" especially with me and my tics. My brother suffered a lot because of me...

sometimes, depending on the bully, it is to confront them and kill them with your kindness. But that doesn't always work. But glad to see and know that lil-monkey has a net of support group and network of friends...stick to your true friends, lil-one and you'll be OK...and that your parents support you, that is what is important

in this case, you can also think of the bullying girl, that her parents probably doesn't care about her and are probably bullies themselves and that she was probably bullied at home by her parents of her siblings and that she can only redirect that by bullying others...not that it makes it right but hopefully will bring you some solace. (It is NOT your job to change her, though. So don't feel bad in that respect. But if the opportunity does arise, it wouldn't surprise me, lil-one that you would be the first to accept her and be there for her...just my instinct as your uncle moikey. ;) )

of course, you've got the cowboy hat riding sistas in this here them forum that I, myself, wouldn't dare mess with as well as a pus eyed aunt that will come scare them to kingdom come (or burger king...LOL)

and be true to yourself, lil-monkey. I am so proud of you for doing the right thing...I would've been scared at your age. Not sure what I'd done back then. Now, I would, but not sure back then, so once again. I am just very in awe of how brave you are.

As for the choir director going. I am not sure if that's a plus or negative. You could end up with someone worse. And it takes time to adjust and for some people to wake up and care, kinda like Mr. Holland (Opus)

I think if you are truly passionate about it, stick with it. If not, I don't think it'll hurt you for not participating in choirs anymore. There are other ways to participate in choirs. Local plays, churches, even amateur choirs could be something to look into with your already very busy schedule...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

the case about that boy that committed suicide...I cried a bucket of tears when I saw the news and my heart ached for him...

WE MUST COME UP WITH NEW WAYS TO DEAL WITH BULLYING in our schools...we MUST...

there always are a lot of talks but there have to be ways....

I am not sure ISS works a lot of the times. I've seen bullies gotten worse. Not saying it doesn't work for some of the bully wanna be's...but the true bullies..those that don't have anything to lose...they are the ones that need to be dealt with in another way...

we have too little alternative schools to send all the bullies to and there is another issue...

the bullies' parents...I find them to usually be bullies themselves...

how do we solve this problem so these bullies don't create future bullying...

how do we teach our kids to NOT call other kids names because they are different???

It bugs heckit out of me now that we are going to have KIDS...

~~~~~~~~~

to all that have been bullied before...:grouphug:

that's why I took up weight lifting and martial arts...LOLOL

Hubby just went up to the school. The girl is there.

Lil'Monkey just texted me from a friends phone all upset.

I am really ticked. We were told she was not and wouldn't be on campus.

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

That stinks!!!:mad: :hug::hug:

hmmmmm...that's what I am talking about...I'll bet anything the girl's parents called and threatened the principal. He might be waiting for the right time or just got scared off with some litigation...

we need better ways to deal with bullies..

I dunno, curious...perhaps you can start an on-line anti-bullying group

PAB

"Parents against bullying" (seems you already got some members... ;) )

although with my bad spelling, I might call it PAPs....:thud:

LOL

Hope this gets straightened out soon...

I have been on the phone with her. She hasn't stopped crying. She is really scared.

Hubby is talking to the principal right now.

They made her get off the phone...cell phones..against school rules. :rolleyes:

is she there for classes?? or playing hookey from the other school & on her own to harass someone???

gosh my son got detention for just bumping /kicking a desk - just a little bit - one day when he was frustrated at school.
They have a no tolerance policy here - but I suppose some parents could influence the principal to change a punishment...

She is there in class.

Here is what I know from hubby.

The girl has a restraining order not to have any contact with the 3 girls that told the teacher. It does not cover dirty looks or hand getures, so she got a warning about that.

Her parents are very much involved and are NOT condoning her actions. She will be sent to a detention center if she does anything else. This is a police matter now.

Lil'Monkey is just not a fighter. She was really scared to be hit. The girl never ever got spanked. I di dremind her that if she got hit..it wouldn't be her face...the other girl can't reach. :p

It was her choice to stay at school. Hubby and the principal kept reminding her of the cameras everywhere and her own gang of boy bodyguards.

Fun being a parent huh?

maybe the guys can show her some of those take down moves, so if anyone does come at her- instead of fighting she just takes them down and restrains them on the ground.
might make her feel more secure.

I told hubby time for her to stop using the weights and get on over the punching bag. :D

those judo/jiu jit su moves are quite effective...

please tell her it's natural to be scared, but it would be wrong if she gets injured..

it's ok that she's a lover, and not a fighter but we all should defend ourselves if we get harassed...

wish I could go there now, my one handed chop suey could use some workout... ;)

((((for the monkeys))))

She took Tai Kwon Do when she was younger. She was a green or blue belt. Hmmmmmm....

just thought of something, I taught a self-defense class years ago...

one of the best weapons to scare people off are pens...

tell her to pull the caps off and hold them. Just a light jab to the fingers would scare people off...

not sure if I want to condone using pens and weapons...but self-defense is self-defense....

please, all peace sign carrying folks, send all hate mails to curious and jo*april...LOL

the korean art of kicking...with those long legs and some "Kiyaaa!"

I bet she will send them urinating in their bunched up panties... :D