Hopes of Wisconsin
 

I got my Bi-Annual Newsletter today from Hopes of Wisconsin and they are so proactive it makes me want to move there.

I was especially taken by an article about their keynote speaker at the annual fundraising dinner. He lost his wife to suicide and he told the story of the tree and the tree house. You can imagin why that got my attention. :D

Here is part of what he said...

"When speaking publicly about suicide, I like to tell the story of the tree and the tree house. It's a true story. There is, in fact, a tree, and are remnants of the tree house. Both are in my backyard.

The tree is sturdy, large and leafy, taller than my two-story house, and mature, its trunk nearly three-feet thick. For children from a bygone era it was nature's version of playground equipment. More than just for climbing, the tree's hand-shaped branches held a tree house built many years ago by a farmer for his children.

As the years passed, the tree house fell away until nothing was left but a two-by-four attached to the trunk. As the tree grew taller and thicker, the board climbed higher and sank deeper into the trunk. Obviously, a board with rusty nails embedded in a tree is not natural to the tree, but the tree continued to grow so that today the trunk, bark and board are one.

The lesson that perhaps can be taken from the tree and the tree house is that when a tragedy becomes attached to our hearts, then we must find a way to grow with it, grow around it and allow it to be with us, but of course not become us. That is growth. And growth takes courage."

Dave de Felice

That's brilliant.
thanks.

"when a tragedy becomes attached to our hearts, then we must find a way to grow with it, grow around it and allow it to be with us, but of course not become us. That is growth. And growth takes courage."

Brilliant indeed! Right now, it is still consuming me, devouring me.

Dear Friend Nik-key,

Could you do an experiment for me?
See if this sentence better describes what is happening:

"Right now, it is still TRYING to consume me, TRYING to devour me."


And try this one:

"It will not win; I will win, because I have decided to win."

(one of my mantras) (here's where stubborness as a trait comes in handy-if you happen to have that in your arsenal).

http://www.nature.com/npp/journal/v3.../1300697a.html

I'm not sure that I understood most of this but the fact that they are researching depression this thoroughly is very encouraging news. And it was in my Lifesavers quarterly newsletter from AFSP so I know it's a good thing. *grin

http://psychcentral.com/news/2009/05...ides/5800.html

Thanks Doc John & Newsbot...*grin

Alffe
 

I'm just posting these here esp. for Alffe in case they're helpful for her continuing efforts and her presentation. Whether you get time to read them is another thing. ;)

PubMed Abstract
Am J Psychiatry. 2009 May 1.
The Incidence and Course of Depression in Bereaved Youth 21 Months After the Loss of a Parent to Suicide, Accident, or Sudden Natural Death.
Brent D, Melhem N, Donohoe MB, Walker M.

_________

http://archpedi.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/162/5/403
Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2008;162(5):403-410
Antecedents and Sequelae of Sudden Parental Death in Offspring and Surviving Caregivers
Nadine M. Melhem, PhD; Monica Walker, MA; Grace Moritz, MSW; David A. Brent, MD

_________

PubMed Article
J Contin Educ Nurs. 2009 Apr;40(4):177-80.
Adolescent suicide prevention: the Oklahoma community reaches out.
Parker G, Hawkins J, Weigel C, Fanning L, Round T, Reyna K.

_________

PubMed Abstract
Int J Geriatr Psychiatry. 2009 Apr 29.
When the solution is part of the problem: problem solving in elderly suicide attempters.
Gibbs LM, Dombrovski AY, Morse J, Siegle GJ, Houck PR, Szanto K.
Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, Department of Psychiatry, University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, Pittsburgh, PA, USA.

I knew I could count on you for pearls...*grin. Thank you again..any chance you could come to that meeting with me? :D :hug:

I wish. I could then travel down to Texas for a TS etc one that's on soon. p.s. but then I'd need to go the Florida, and South Carolina, and Washington State, and British Columbia, and Georgia, and Pennsylvania, and heck... I'd never get home.

I'll check from time to time for more in the next week. There's thousands of articles, but not all are really applicable, pertinent or suitable. I need to sift through them a bit.

:hug:

I wish you could too...I have plenty of room and could be your home base.:hug:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread86683.html

*******************

((Alffe)) I couldn't get the last link to work...?

((Lara)) thanks for all the articles :hug:

((Sue)) I will try to do your experiment... wait, I WILL do your experiment:D Stubborn I is ;)

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la...,5672765.story

Quite a man!

http://articles.latimes.com/2004/jun.../et-shneidman5

They showed this at our Prevention meeting today and I wanted to share it.

More Shneidman....facinating stuff!
 

Far from a morbid investigation into the enigma of self-destruction, the study of suicide is often philosophical, and Shneidman writes to clarify his ideas. His work -- 17 books that he's either written, edited or co-edited -- is an intellectual diary and a compelling reminder that suicide is part of our lives and our culture. We see it in the most diverse quarters: in the retrieval of writer-artist Spalding Gray's body from the East River in New York, in recent concerns that antidepressants contribute to suicide in youth, and in a controversy over a Britney Spears video that shows her submerging herself in a bathtub.
Over the years, however, Shneidman's lifelong project has been marginalized by the shifting winds of science. The more we study the brain and discover effective synthetic treatments for mental illness -- which, many believe, is the underlying cause of suicide -- the less critical private histories, personal stories and emotional circumstances, the major tenets of Shneidman's work, become.
Herbert Hendin, the medical director of the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, said Shneidman was the first person in this country to call public attention to the problem of suicide. "He had a charismatic quality and played a pivotal role in dramatizing the problem of suicide."

I was sad to hear that he passed away Friday. I think I've read every book he wrote. My favorite is "A Suicidal Mind" where he defines the word psychache - intense emotional and psychological pain that eventually becomes intolerable and which cannot be abated by means that were previously successful—as the primary motivation for suicide.

“Ten Commonalities of Suicide"

The common purpose of suicide is to seek a solution: A suicidal person is seeking a solution to a problem that is “generating intense suffering” within him or her.

1. The common goal of suicide is cessation of consciousness: The anguished mind of a suicidal person interprets the end of consciousness as the only way to end the suffering.
2. The common stimulus of suicide is psychological pain: Shneidman calls it “psychache,” by which he means “intolerable emotion, unbearable pain, unacceptable anguish.”
3. The common stressor in suicide is frustrated psychological needs: A suicidal person feels pushed toward self-destruction by psychological needs that are not being met (for example, the need for achievement, for nurturance or for understanding).
4. The common emotion in suicide is hopelessness-helplessness: A suicidal person feels despondent, utterly unsalvageable.
5. The common cognitive state of suicide is ambivalence: Suicidal people, Shneidman says, “wish to die and they simultaneously wish to be rescued.”
6. The common perceptual state in suicide is constriction: The mind of a suicidal person is constricted in its ability to perceive options, and, in fact, mistakenly sees only two choices-either continue suffering or die.
7. The common action in suicide is escape: Shneidman calls it “the ultimate egression (another word for escape) besides which running away from home, quitting a job, deserting an army, or leaving a spouse … pale in comparison.”
8. The common interpersonal act in suicide is communication of intention: “Many individuals intent on committing suicide … emit clues of intention, signals of distress, whimpers of helplessness, or pleas for intervention.”
9. The common pattern in suicide is consistent with life-long styles of coping: A person’s past tendency for black-and-white thinking, escapism, control, capitulation and the like could serve as a clue to how he or she might deal with a present crisis.

It all seems to make so much sense but how could it? :( #5 says it all...you want to die but you also want to be rescued.

My hearing just sucks so maybe you can help me out BJ. Our chairperson said that Schneidman described depression as a four sided cube...stress, press, pertribatian??? (that's where my hearing failed me) and pain.) She said he believed that if you could intercept any one of the those, you could prevent suicide.

Alffe the third is what he calls “perturbation,” an agitated state when you perceive that your discomfort and anxiety is intolerable, like being perturbed. If all four of these conditions coincide, a suicide attempt is inevitable‐not necessarily unpreventable, but inevitable. To reduce the threat, at least one of the four conditions has to be taken away, as you said.

As Mark’s anniversary approaches something has been heavy on my mind and that is why people say he “committed” suicide. If you have no control, how can you commit it? If he had been in control, he would not have taken his life. I strongly believe that because the suicidal person’s mind is not working properly, there is a moment where suicide is no longer a choice—when all four factors collide like a crescendo. If at that moment the person has access to the means to die, the suicide will happen. If at that moment the person is prevented from taking their lives because he/she doesn’t have the means, the suicide can be prevented. I've been there and you stop weighing options. But thankfully, somehow, someway I was able to see through the pain. But so many don't.

Thank you BJ...I'm no longer perturbed. :D

I'm learning not to say committed suicide. "For many survivors the term "commit" has a very negative connotation, because negative things like crimes and sins are "committed." While not all survivors find the term "committed suicide" offensive, those who do feel very, very strongly about it. It is therefore recommended that you instead use expressions such as:

* "died by suicide"

* "took his/her own life"

* "Killed him/her self"

* completed suicide

*********************
Facilitating Suicide Bereavement Support Groups: A Self-Study Manual

by John R. Jordan, Ph.D and Joanne L. Harpel

********************

I have a lot to unlearn!

And you dear BJ are heroic. :grouphug:

Schneidman believed suicidal tendencies could often begin to be untangled by asking two simple questions: "Where do you hurt?" and "How may I help you?"

We have come to learn a new language Alffe. It has its own terminology I would never have thought to be in my vocabulary. We’ve joined an exclusive club. It is one I’d rather read about than be a member of. It’s not very difficult to join. You don’t need a lot of money or education. It doesn’t take an act of God or Congress, just an act of a sad, depressed person……All it takes is a suicide.

The wounds we suffer from the suicide of a loved one will heal in time. It is the scarring that will affect us forever.

And the antidote to depression is to surround yourself with people who care. :grouphug: Like all the people on this forum.

Soldiers Ordered Not to Kill Themselves

Posted: Thu, 28 May 2009 23:41:14 +0000

Brig. Gen. Stephen J. Townsend, according to CNN, has “in effect ordered his soldiers Wednesday not to commit suicide” in the 101st Airborne at Fort Campbell. Why?

After nearly one soldier per week committed suicide at the post between January and mid-March, the Army instituted a suicide prevention program that “seemed to be having good effects” until last week, when two more suicides occurred, he said.

Yes, these are not positive numbers and the Army needs to do more to combat the stigma of seeking help for a psychological concern such as depression. They can begin by promising soldiers that such treatment seeking will have no negative effect on their ability to move up in the Army and get promoted in the future. You wouldn’t hold someone from getting a promotion if they suffered a bullet wound while in combat, so why would you discriminate based upon a mental disorder?
Dr. Mark Kaplan, a professor of community health at Portland State University in Oregon, is skeptical of the latest attempt by the Army to solve this problem, as he told CNN:

“It sounds like an order,” he told CNN in a telephone interview. “I’m not sure that a command like this is going to alter the course of somebody who is on a trajectory of self-harm.”
He suggested the Army might want to adopt the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs model.
“They’re dealing with a comparable problem with a similar population,” Kaplan said. “They have infused more sensitivity to their approach to suicide prevention as opposed to this. This is like any other order.”

I’d have to agree. The V.A. model is better (although perhaps still not ideal), and definitely one to try and replicate throughout the U.S. armed services. Suicide prevention is a process that must, despite the military environment, include sensitivity and awareness that it is a sign of serious, undiagnosed depression. Once the military starts treating mental disorders such as depression like other health concerns that they neither discriminate against nor stigmatize, I think they’ll find far more success than their current, broken and haphazard methods.
Read the full story: ‘Tell somebody,’ if you’re thinking of suicide, says general

More [ex-serving] servicemen have died by suicide after the Falklands War in 1982
than in the war itself [257]

myself ex Royal Navy...80-84 . My Employers run an ex-servicemans homeless hostel in Catterick [military town] and a very large 180 bed hostel in Westminster London.........full to the brim of homeless servicemen..........

Suicide is a common event in both locations............addiction/and ormental health issues....more often both...duel-diagnosis............

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

David

And another bump...............:grouphug: