Hello All, new here, old TBI patient
 

I wanted to say hello to everyone.
Some, I've met on the RSD side. I also have TOS, some discs, like that.

Two accidents, one in 83 caused the rsd/tos, then in 98k caused the tbi/discs.
So, it's over a decade that I have this TBI, and it seems like pcs, or something.

I take a variety of meds, the pain crosses over into the tbi, and doesn't help.
Stress. I can handle a lot, but now, I'm coming to a divorce that's been coming longer than I've had the tbi. I feel I have PTSD,, too, because my second wife, has taken everything my family (Parents and I) have ever built (two business') my bank accounts, threw my children (whom I raised and I OUT) of my house, her name is not on it.
I have so many property losses, and was well insured for the accident.
My lawyers ALL screwed up, probably because of my lack of ability to communicate with them.


So, now wife realizes there is NO pot of gold, and pushes the divorce foward, she has been taking $1100/mos. from my disability for many years.

I'm just so dam wound up, and it keeps rolling in my mind,, that my kids won't talk to me, because they warned me, but I just didn't know what to do, I was close to comatose for those first few years. She's really got me cornered. My last attorney wouldn't answer my calls for 5 years, and if he did, he just "yessed" me. He won't give me my file, which has my Pre Nup in it.
I'm usually so good at giving things up to God.
But now, I"m a shaking mess. I can't sleep without nightmares, I can't wake with out crying.
I've never been such a mess!
I know
that so many have it worse. But I sometimes feel as though my heart will stop.

I had quite a subdural hematoma, and they wouldn't operate to drain it because it so deep, at the brain stem.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling now.

Anyone have a formula for getting back the faith, fighting the worry, stop the shaking?
Maybe I should reach out to this new lawyer, and see if I can email her some info about my illnesses?
I just can't imagine being ready for an appointment tomorrow afternoon, I don't even remember what she told me to bring!?

Ideas?

Pete
asb

Pete!

Petepetepete!

One big warm, tight, hug, handshake and howdy, moose sized welcome to the site. This place is amazing!

Man, I'm sorry you're getting run through the grinder.

OK. Multi-tasking is over rated. I use a retreat, regroup, and reload plan when it all piles up on me and threatens to collapse. This method probably won't help in time for tomorrow, but if you can just focus on one (and only one) problem and get it resolved I think it will build momentum for you. This works for me and took a long time to find and accept what worked for me. :o

More of our team will post advice that can help you. Just keep in mind;

You are not alone.:)
You are one of us.:hug:
And we are here to help.:grouphug:

I am the MonSter that MS fears.

Oh Pete, I am soooo sorry for all this pain & emotional distress! First thing I would do,,,Copy this very post you wrote & email it to your lawyer! Let her SEE this! It might give her great insight!
As far as that "wife"...YES, Thank GOD right now for getting you out of her life!!! You may have lost so very much, but don't let her take ANYMORE of YOU!

Don't lose your Faith...please...keep reaching, ....I think by posting you just took a huge step! Good luck to you & keep us posted..I will Pray for you my friend

Thank You,
Moose, and Gardengrl,
For your kind and thoughtful replies!

I'm winding down a bit, I know that there is only so much I can do.
There's NOBODY who can do what the court is demanding, let alone someone as disabled as myself.
My brain just "spins out" when it gets flooded, or flustered, and my wife knows this.
One of her old sayings was "I can control you with your pain / brain".
She's a sweetheart.

The kindness, and thoughts and ideas are priceless!
I hope for more!

Love to all,
Pete
asb

avocate needed
 

hi sorry your having this on top of all, I feel an advocate is needed people can try to take advantage of us, power of attorney should only be singed over if there is no other option, if there has been wrong doing or advantage taking, you may have legal protection see if the folks at the below link can help you, trust in god but tie up your camel , I get easily overwhelmed buy paper work to many bits of information an I end up shuffling them into a total mess until I cant make out anything, so can understand you need help you can trust

http://www.biausa.org/stateoffices.htm

AintSoBad,

You sure have a load to carry. Sorry to hear about the way others have treated you. Welcome to the club.

Regarding your past attorney with your files, have you complained to the State Bar? Most states have laws against retaining a clients files. They cannot even keep them when fees are unpaid.

You might want to check with an elder attorney. They may have expertise with clients who have been taken advantage of.

Research your State Bar Code of Professional Conduct.
In PA the Supreme Court regulates attorneys.

Here is a link about "retaining files." http://www.padisciplinaryboard.org/f...#RetainingFile

You may have a "public accommodations" claim for being discriminated against due to your disability.

Have you found anybody who can help with your TOS? I have chronic TOS since an injury in 2001. I found a PT who is expert at working with TOS. She uses myofacial release and other modalities. She could tell I had TOS before she touched me, just by observing my posture. Hope you can find someone who has similar skills.

Regarding your nightmares, have you been check for sleep apnea? I have central sleep apnea caused by my TOS. If I lay in the wrong position, my breathing stops and I have nightmares. I sleep best in a recliner with a pillow supporting my head so it does not roll to the side.

At first, I was afraid to go to sleep because sleeping was so traumatic. Now, I just have to be very disciplined about my sleeping posture. I have body jerks in my sleep so I take Neurontin to reduce the jerks. Otherwise, the jerks will cause me to change position and I end up having nightmares.

Brother do I understand your dilemma. That evasive good night sleep is rare and exhausting when it does not happen. I would rather not sleep than sleep bad.

I use TV to occupy my mind when I cannot sleep. My brain injury makes it impossible for me to read for pleasure so TV is all that is left. If it wasn't for the cable/satellite channels, I would be in deep trouble. I have even learned that some infomercials can be good for insomnia.

Hope I have been helpful.

Time for me to get ready to go to brain injury support group. It is the only place where anybody understands what my wife is going through. Have your kids ever been to a brain injury support group meeting? They would benefit greatly.

Vini and Mark,
So many thanks to you.
I got a ride to see my attorney tomorrow, the court may not allow any further (MY) evidence!
But we'll see.

If anyone else wants to add, I think I'll print this thread out and take it with me tomorrow.
"NOBODY GETS IT"

just like the dam RSD.
Oh, ya hurt? Oh, ya can't think?
Ah, that's just gettin' old creepin' up on you!
Yea. Sure!

Thanks again!

Pete
ASB

:D[QUOTE=Mark in Idaho;
I use TV to occupy my mind when I cannot sleep. My brain injury makes it impossible for me to read for pleasure so TV is all that is left. If it wasn't for the cable/satellite channels, I would be in deep trouble. I have even learned that some infomercials can be good for insomnia.

.[/QUOTE]

Ok, I know this is off topic..sorta....I know what you mean about reading with a brain injury....it's just so frustrating! I recieved an email a few days ago,,\it has be confused to no end!

I will paste it here for you, & I am hoping you will tell me if you could read it, & if so, how easy or hard was it for you?

This is weird, but interesting!



fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

My brother sent me that note a few weeks ago, believe it or not, I read right through it.


But back to topic.
Getting ready to go see my attorney this morning, I sort of felt that I wasn't ready, and as I mentioned, I had to bum a ride. (I can't afford to drive, paying my wife so much from my disability each month, but, she's got a new car).
I started to spin. That went into a full blown panic attack (which I haven't gotten for quite some time), and I hadto call and put it off until Monday. I called my friend who was driving me, and he was ******!

Dam.

It's like my brain just freaked out and it drove my RSD pain and back and forth.

So, I hope I get some good work in on this over the weekend, and put something worth together.

Anyone ever get these sort of adventures? When you're stressed, or otherwise?
My wife is going to greatly profit, and I will greatly lose because of my disability, but you know the old drill:
But you Look Fine!


Thanks People!

Pete
asb

Scrambled reading
 

I had no problem reading the two quotes.

My scrambled brain types like that most of the time. I am constantly making corrections to get rid of the red squiggly lines.

I actually do better reading the scrambled words that normal words. When reading the scrambled words, my mind includes the context to read the word. When the words are spelled right, I read them separate of the context and often misread them.

Go figure.

Of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.

Become an actor
 

Pete,

I want you to know that I am one woman who would like to throttel your ex, your 1st attorney, your friend that got made about you not being able to make the appointment, and yes, even your kids!

My husband suffered a severe TBI last year and I have seen how that has affected his ability to deal with stress, as well as stresses affects on his condition. I went into a new bout with a 14 yr. old, as yet undiagnosed, very debilitating neuro problem in Jan this year and can really see the difference in his ability to cope between this time and the last one 4 yrs. ago. That's why I hopped on this forum.

You ex wife sounds like a real succubus. It's too bad you don't have her on tape with that comment about how she can control things because of your disabilities! Let's try to prove her wrong!

First, you need to make sure your new attorney is aware of your problems and how they affect your ability to do what needs to be done. Print something off the net if you can and provide her/him with that. Perhaps they have a resource to get help for you to prepare. Also, MAKE SURE you tell them that statement your ex made!

Second, if your children live close enough, I think you should call and tell them that yes, you made a mistake with this woman (that's obvious), but if you don't get some help getting this together it will be worse! They also need to understand your conditions and get over the "I told you so" syndrome.

If they can't or won't help, do you have a neighbor or friend you can call on to help you get everything together?

And last, with or without someones help on the paperwork, you need to develop a skill to help you cope with all that is going on before it affects your health conditions even worse. As you have already seen, stress will aggravate your conditions. Since you can't make the situation go away, you'll have to take a different tact to cope with it until you get through.

There is a psychological trick to help with this. You are going to have to become an actor for a while. You need to trick your mind into believing that you are just a paralegal working on all this documentation as a job for someone else. The mind is very open to suggestion and will take anything you tell it! So tell yourself before you sit to do this task that it's not your possessions, not your ex-wife, not your paperwork. Take the emotions out of the equation while you are working on this. If you feel the personal connection start to creep in, tell yourself out loud that it's not your things you are looking at - it's just a job you're doing. If you hit a point where the emotions take over too much to focus, take a break to yell, scream, vent the feelings somehow and then get back to brainwashing yourself again. After you regain the control, you can get back into the paperwork.

My aunt was given this exercise after my uncle and young cousin were both killed it a car accident. It was just too much for her to handle losing both at once, so she was told to "pretend" that my uncle was away on business and only allow herself to grieve the loss of her daughter. Once she got through that process, she was allowed to grieve her husband.

When the mind has too much emotion the stress builds to a point where it will freeze you up. And you've seen the effects the stress has on your physical conditions. You have to take the emotion out of it, even if it's just for a couple of hours at a time, so you can focus on the task at hand. Tell yourself you'll only deal with the emotional aspects of this situation after you are finished with the paperwork.

I hope this helps you a little, at least.
I wish you the best of luck at beating this wench! :hug:

Becky,
That's AWESOME!
I want to say this, about my friend(s).
They go over and beyond the call of duty for me! So none of them are to blame, it's me.

But, the rest, you're spot on!

I'm going to take what you said, and put it to use!
I go see this attorney tomorrow, and, none of the scheduling will work.
(As if)!!!!
But, Dammit, I'm gonna "Fit myself In"!
I got a ride, not the best time, but a ride, and not public trans.
So, I'll take it!
And, I'm gonna let the hand of God guide me, becuase that same hand, guide my beloved friends.

These people, "Like YA'll" are here to help me.
And, that's what I'll let them do, instead of blocking them.

I'm going to do my part, and everything else that you said!

Thank YOU ALL so VERY MUCH!!

Any more advice, I'll be checking in all night, as I don't expect to get more than a nap tonite, as I'm still readying for this attorney meeting.

You see, the court might deny all My Evidence!
Because of the first attorney not showing up!
(I don't think the ADA allows that, do they? Does anyone know any case law?)
I'm in PA).
I'd SUPER APPRECIATE IT!

Love to ALL!

Pete
ASB

xo

Best of luck to you tomorrow, I will pray for you....

THIS, means more than you'll EVER know!

Thanks to Ya'll!

Love,
Pete
ASB

xo

Succubus....

Wow,
I hadto look that up!
I thought I was getting Raped! There's an entire new explanation!!
Dam!

Thanks, Thanks, Thank You So Much!
I'm taking this to the attorney tomorrow!!!!

Love,
Pete
ASB

Oh, I'll letcha know what she says,,
after I sleep a while......

thanks again!

That's the spirit!
 

Well, you are being raped in a way, right? HA HA
I can't wait to hear how it goes, but I know how this legal stuff goes sometimes - alot like the medical stuff I've been going through!

I hope you at least get them involved enough to HELP YOU!! I'll have to send you a PM that explains why I'm so passionate about your problem here. After I hear bout how today went.

Prayers, good thoughts, and fingers crossed!

Becky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I went.
And, got the "worst case scenario".
I may need to buy my house for the third time.
First, Second (first divorce), now this.
And, her name's not even on it!
AFter a three year marriage! But, it ended in '98.

She's taken TOTAL control, by removing my children and I, (pfa's) which weren't worth a dam, but you can't fight them. I never even heard of one before!
But, wow, am I in a new world this past decade!

More money, which, I hafto borrow from my paralyzed brother.
And, I'm still behind the 8 ball.
Wife filed motions, that "Look" complete.
But, they're a sheaf of lies!
She's got my house, full of MY furniture, and oh Jesus help me.

I don't even know if the court will take any evidence from me. My old attorney (who didn't show) has my Pre-Nup.
And, REFUSES TO GIVE UP MY FILE!

My friend went to his office today and raised a stink. They said "get a court order".

So, my head is still spinning.
Ever get that feeling that you're on the edge of a cliff, and you hafto jump?

I pray.

Love and peace, to all.

Pete
asb

Pete, is this just the possible outcome? It's not a done deal yet, right? You have a new attorney right? Can they take up the cause with the old attorney to get at least the Pre Nup? Are those things filed in the public records, or just held like a will?

I can believe that they can hold your file hostage - get the new atty. involved as soon as you can.

Don't think about that cliff edge - imagine if you jump and then your big break happens with this.

I'll be praying for you, too. Keep the faith, bud!

Becky

Thanks Becky!
Nothing's a "done deal" yet.
But, my new attorney keeps showing me the "worst case scenario". Then, asks if that's acceptable. Of course it's not.
This woman (wifey) has taken my children's and my entire life, and it's assets, and either destroyed them or just stole them.
(We ran two business's that are now defunct, one a beautiful property that was taken (another long story of litigation)..

The old attorney just wants to be a jerk.
To make me pay.

Thanks, for your kind support!
It means so very much to me!

Pete

Whew! You had me worried there. Keep me posted, ok?

Becky

Thanks Becky, and Of Course!

I'm working this week on things my attorney asked for.
But, she is telling me the court may not accept any more evidence from me anyway.
Still can't get my file (with pre nup) from my old attorney.
I have some faxing to do.

That's it for now!

Thanks again!

Love and peace,
Pete
asb

Thank you all again, so much for "having my back"!

Here's an up to date.

My new attorney has gotten a "grip" on things.
But, since wifey emptied all my bank accounts and stole my assets,
I don't have cash to pay her.
So, I'm asking my Big Bro for some.
(This is a tricky family situation, but, I'll get through it).

And, now this will "Stop" everything, and slow it down.
I was feeling very ill the past two weeks, rsd pain, and very depressed.
So,
the new attorney did give me some time to "rest". I was so shaken up!

You folks are all very kind, and supportive, and that's the best thing to have!

Love and Hugs, Comfort, to all of you!

Pete
asb