Controlling People
 

I called my only cousin in town who ignored my phone calls all this time until recently. When our other cousin in NC had asked him to help me with house repairs last June he just all of sudden would not answer his phone when I called. He's got caller ID. Now though that I have made up with his fiance who is his 1st cousin also him and I have talked twice in the past month. The last time I talked to his fiance', Darlene, she was being very persistent in getting me to call around to check on a cheaper mover than I already have. She tried to tell me I was getting screwed even though I told her that the movers I have shceduled were highly recommended to me by several people. She told me people take advantage of a single woman and insisted they are taking advantage of me. She was really arguing her tail off and I didn't back down. Finally I told her that I should know 2 people that would move me for free but I don't and that shut her up. She lives in NJ and her fiance, Johnny, lives in Richmond where I live. Of course she's so selfish she would not consider having Johnny helping me because it would mean a little time away from her after Christmas. Anyway, today I called Johnny and got around to asking him to help move me on the request of my brother in Georgia. My brother said he would help me move for nothing but we still need another man so I called our cousin Johnny. Johnny didn't sound too thrilled about moving me so I told him I'd pay him and told him how much my movers were going to cost me. In a split second before I could almost finish what I was saying he said what my moving company is charging sounds fishy to him. Mind you that my cousin Johnny has never had to pay a mover in his life so he has nothing to base what he said to me except that his fiance, Darlene, had to tell him. Darlene I am finding out is a very bossy, controlling woman like her mom is and it is influencing her fiance, Johnny who is also her 1st cousin. I had just told Johnny earlier in our conversation that him and others in the family tend to think they can run my life and I'm an adult I can run my own life.

befuddled2

Befuddled2
Good luck with getting moved. I hope you can locate someone to
come help you move. This is something I will be praying for you for.

Donna

Thank you Donna,

I'm sure I will. If not I still have the movers to move me.

befuddled2

Dear Befuddled,
I love how people feel free to give you advice. Tell them to stop.

And you are right -- people who have not moved have no idea of the prices invovled. And people remember when they were 19 and their two buddies helped them move a couch, tv, and a dresser. 20 years later they are surprised that people need to pay someone to move. Well 20 years later WE HAVE MORE STUFF.

Sometimes, if you can afford it, it is better to work with professionals than with friends or family.

OK. Sorry but I have to ask. ....kinda wierd about the two cousins marrying. yeah I know that these marriages are legal in 19 or so states. still, it is not common as far as I know.

Befuddled, there are lots and lots of nice people in the world. You will find these people as you start to make your own life for yourslef.

I think that getting out of that house will help change things for you.

Good luck
Mari

Thank you Mari,

You may have something there that it would be better to pay the movers to move me. I did call other movers today to get estimates and they all seemed to have a 4 hour requirement when mine is only a 2 hour requirement. I knew I was right but felt the need to prove these cousins wrong. My movers are at least half of what most cost. It doesn't seem so important now to prove my cousins wrong but to just tell them to stop telling me what to do. This whole mess has upset me though.

befuddled2

Hi Befuddled,
The board was quiet today.
I just wanted to stop by and say hello before I take off for bed.

Take care of yourself.
I hope the moving details get worked out.
mari

Befuddled, your family sounds like my family except, they all live within 30 minutes of each other! They all have something "useful" to say that isn't very useful to you. They all have an opinion about how you should do things but haven't spoken to you in months.:rolleyes: Oh and they think they are right too!
Its a shame you can't pick your family.
Good luck on the move.

Thank you Mari and Wendy.

Wendy, it is ashame we can't pick our families.

befuddled2

Befuddled
 

Two things we cannot pick our families and our names. What b/s??

Hi BF, I know you will get through this move, moving is always a pain in the butt. With the holidays approaching, doesn't help either.

Check around on movers, usually from what I have experienced most of them require a 2 or 3 hour move. Maybe it depends on how much you have to move or how far too. Not sure.:Scratch-Head:

As far as people especially family that tell you how to live, just take it with a grain of salt, I say thanks, but I have it under control.:Doh:

Take care, go easy, and go with the flow.

Hugs, Nikko

I hope you have some better luck moving than what luck you are having with your family. I am sorry to hear that Darlean is that way. I know it's not easy to be in a family situation like that, but you just have to put your foot down. Once you estabilsh your boundaries things will seem different and easier. Good luck and I will be thinking of you during this time!!
Wish

Thank You Nuttybuddy, Nikko and Wish.

Nuttybuddy, I hear you 100%.

Nikko, I like what you said, "thank you but I have things under control.

Wish, you are so right about setting boundaries. I need to learn to do that.

befuddled2

Dear Befuddled,
When is the move?
Do you have to pack up the furniture or will they?
We used to use blankets to wrap around pictures....Packing is very draining...It is such an emotional upheaval that I crash when ever we have to move and such...
be careful during the next couple of weeks.
Will you lose internet access?
REmember you can always go to the library to use
theirs until you get access again.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hi Bizi,

I will move on the 28th of this month as far as I know. My brothers may move me on another day to save me money if they can. The paid movers though are sceduled to come on the 28th if my brothers cannot move me. I think I have gotten over my depression of having to leave my house I've lived in for the past 12 years and am looking forward to moving on.

befuddled2

Good luck!
 

Dear Befuddled,

be thinking about you... i'm glad you scheduled the movers. hopefully this might reduce some anxiety. then if the relatives come through or not... you're covered. ;)

take care... take it slow once you get there...

I liked the part where you felt ready to move on. One thing I have done in the past, when i have moved away rather "permanently" is to take pix of the home - each room, angles i liked, furniture or whole rooms i liked... I knew nostalgia would hit later...

I don't know if pix would be good or bad for you. I just wanted to share that. For me, I enjoy looking back at my quarters, but i lived alone and in a very different situation.

~ waves ~ sends hugs and good thoughts to you

hello??? can we have some more icons already? sheesh. but i gotta admit i like the heart.

Thank you Waves. I have thought about taking pictures of each the rooms in my house but have not actually done it. I have an idea it may have me missing it too much. I do have enough pictures of the outside of the house though.

befuddled2

Dear Befuddled,
Waves reminds me of something I did when I moved out of the place I had lived in for about 13 years.
After everything was out and what was left was cleaned, I said good bye to each room of the apt and thanked the place for helping me during those years.
I cried.
It was healing.

Mari