I made an offer
 

to accept a certain amount in settlement of the real estate with my in-laws. After I made the offer we discovered a damaging fact against the in-laws. I would say that today went rather well. I won't know if the in-laws accept since it's a Holiday weekend. One major issue is getting ready to end thank goodness.

Next I'll be able to concentrate on protecting myself from my next door neighbor's harassment. She is always trying to talk to me through my neighbor I am friends with. Tonight she told him that I can use some of her yard powder in my yard to get rid of fleas. She told the same neighbor and his girlfriend about a month ago that she's not mad at me and that I can use her water spiket for my garden. Well, it's not her water spicket to say that about. It's for the use of all the apartments in our building because there's only one water spicket per building. I still do not want to even go in her yard. She lies in court about me and turned the tables on who did what and she wants to say she's not mad at me. If anyone should be mad it's me. The woman is not someone I trust or want to be on the friendly side with. She got friendly with me before I took her to court so I wouldn't be prepared and then made me out to be the guilty one.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Barbara

dear Barbara
 

i am glad today went well.

i am a little confused about the damaging fact and the offer... could the damaging fact rock the boat in your favor - i.e. land you the whole house?

well anyway, i hope it works out well... keep us posted.

And yes you're right to be always on guard about your neighbor - and any spokesperson for her - she really pulled a mean one on you last time. wolf in sheep's clothing that one.

take care. Enjoy the long weekend! :)

~ waves ~ not sleeping nights... if not one thing, it's another!

Thanks Waves. The most I can get out of the house is half of the sale of it. Technically when my ex passed his half goes to his estate and not me. I technically owned only half of the house.

I hope you can sleep better.

Dear Befuddled,

I am happy to hear that this chapter is coming to a close and your can move on to your other chapters.

In the meantime, stay away from your weirdo neighbor.
Something MIGHT be wrong with her. You can't deal upfront with her. Please be very careful.

M.

ahh, i get it now
 

Well, that does sound good, Barbara!

I hope that will give you enough economic security to affect your ability to move sooner than later... though i realize finding a place is still an issue, and time is needed to look at places and not make rushed decisions.

I bet this is a relief anyway to have the house thing somewhat sorted, even if not finalized yet, and knowing you aren't losing out totally. Half is pretty good.

Well you hang in there :hug:

~ waves ~

Dear Barbara,
this sounds fair don't you think?
glad that this settled for you.
Now if you could just move. and find a decent place to live...have yous till thought about moving to another apartment on the location, would that be an option?
beth

Thank you all. The deal with the in-laws is not final yet so I can't be counting my chickens yet. I don't really want to move out of where I live just because of my neighbor as that would be letting her win. No matter where I go I won't be able to afford anything much better with my low income. Money in the savings account does not matter in determining income requirements for a decent apartment.

barbara

Nervous
 

For any of you who pray, please pray for me to have strenght for tomorrow when I am scheduled for court with in-laws. I plan to wake up at 9:30 p.m. EST to wait to see if my lawyer contacts me over the offer I made. I'm going to be a bundle of nerves from now till it's over.

barbara

Barb

Prayers and thoughts coming from Indiana.

Donna

Done!
 

Dear Barbara,

Hugs and good vibes to you, and a prayer to the cosmic powers for your steadfastness and for your success in getting a fair settlement.

Here's hoping your lawyer contacts you with the good news that your offer was accepted, so you can avoid the court hassle.

(The new shoes will still be handy for a less nerve-wracking occasion! We still would love a picture of them though. Maybe you can distract yourself for a little while, doing that? ;))

:hug:

~ waves ~

Sending good vibes
 

Hi, Barbara,
I'm thinking about you and sending good thoughts.
M.

Thank you Donna and Waves. Waves that's a good idea about taking a picture of the shoes and posting them as a distraction. Maybe not before court today though as I don't want to tie up the phone line any more than I have to. I can take the picture though and upload it to Photo Bucket later.

I'm not as nervous this morning as I thought I would be. Although I think I've got diarrhea because of nerves. I got up at 7:30 a.m. and have done 2 laps around my apartment complex already. I walked those laps and not run them.

Barbara

Thank you Mari,

I didn't see you post till now.

barbara

good for you that you are exercising, that is a great stress buster.
looking forward to seeing the shoes.
beth

Thank you Beth.

It is 11:20 a.m. and my friend will be picking me up at 11:50 a.m. I am peeing like crazy and I've had diarrhea once and now feel as though I may get it again. I've already taken 4 Imodium's. I'll probably stop up my bowels like that. I'm shaking and feel faint. My friend Phyllis thought that I should drive to court myself but she doesn't know the extend of my nerves. I have not heard a thing from my lawyer so the niece must want it to go to trial unless she settles at the court steps because she doesn't want for me to get a dime. I can hear my next door neighbor's daughter outside talking on the phone. I've got my door shut though but will have to open it to watch for my ride soon. My shoes are awfully tight on me. They are going to be pinching my feet big time. They did not feel that tight on me at the store. It's too late now though. I curled my hair and put on make-up. My stomach is growling for food but I am scared to eat anything as it may come out my bottom end. I don't know why I am peeing so much. I've never peed this much before.

Barbara

YOur nerves are giving you fits, it sounds like you are ready and I am glad that you have a driver.
I think bananas help with GI stuff if you have one I think that would be safe to eat.
good luck with everything today.
we are rooting for you.
beth:hug:

Good luck today. Saying prayers that today is the day you get your answers. :hug:

awake
 

sending more good vibes and waiting with baited breath!

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Wanted to send more good thoughts. Also you probably have swollen
feet somewhat so thats why the shoes pinch now.

donna

Thinking of you Barbara. I hope it went well today :hug:

Thank you all so much. I copied and pasted the below so as not to retype most of everyting.

I lost in court today. The in-laws get the whole house. To make matters worse one of my Hank's girlfriends argued about it with me when she picked me up from court. She siad things like, "your attorney must not have done her job. All the ladies in Hanks are a bunch of busy bodies and think they know more than anybody else. I could go on about how much grief and aggravation the ladies in Hank's have caused me. One of them, Phyllis, thougth that because my in-laws already have a house I should get the one I fought for. None of the busy bodies in Hank's took into consideration the way the law really works and that not all things are admissable in court. Nancy kept telling me, "Did your lawyer say this and that?" I told Nancy from the start that I did not want to discuss it but she went on and on. When she asked me did my lawyer say this and that I told her that not everything is admissable in court. I've thought long and hard over how to deal with all my friends in Hank's and I've come up with this: When they say their negative feedback I'm going to ask them, "How is this going to make me feel better?" My friends in the neighborhood are not judmental like the ladies in Hanks'. I wanted to be with my neighborhood friends and not my so called friends in Hanks who should have more compassion and sense than the people who don't work and are in my neighborhood and who get high and such. That's like my friend Phyllis from Hanks who says I should move to get away from my next door neighbor. I asked her if she'd sell her house to get get away from a neighbor and she said no.

It's a lesson all learned in how to deal with peoepl of all types and acceptance for things for the way they are. I'm okay with things really because now I kinow in what direction to take my life. I know where my priorities should be and I know that I willl never learn all of live's lesson's before God calls me home. The journey is interesting and rewarding however hard it is. I don't have any regets, well maybe a pssing thought of a few but that's it. I will survive because I'm tough and determined. I've already started thinking of what my goals should be now without the money from the hosue. For now I will let it all sink in and continue to accept and redirect my life.

Barbara

Dear Barbara,
You are a strong lady and I am very proud that you are looking at getting on with your life.
You sound very healthy.
good for you.
beth

Barbara

I totally agree with Bizi.

And I also think you rock.

Donna

Thank you Beth and Donna. I don't feel so hot this morning. I feel worn down and beaten. I feel that life is just so unfair. And what really bothers me is that a lot of who I thought were my friends like those outside my apartment complex are not really good for me. They are very judgemental and opinionated. I didn't see it until today. That's my biggest diasppointment I believe. I had to avoid those girlfreinds after court because I knew they would have just made me feel worse like my ride did.

barbara

i SO ADMIRE YOU. You tried your best instead of not even trying...what a great leap that is...then the way you faced the decision....what a hero...now also learning and deciding that those people are toxic. It is hard when you are single and getting older and unemployed to be alone. It is easy at first to overlook a lot of other things in the other which might not be worth associating with them. With your attitude and ability to deal with life, I just know things are going to work out for you. This was a very painful learning lesson, but I bet you in the long run will think it was really worth it. You will start taking care of yourself much better and value yourself more and more.
YOU WON! and truly rock
Bobby

Dear Befuddled,
It stinks to have to go to court and not get the results you were hoping for. Sorry. :(

Regarding your friends:
I don't know. But maybe now that you have wrapped up a chapter in your life and are moving on to new things you will have a chance to meet new people and find new things to involve yourself in that bring you "bliss." :)

M.

Dear Barbara
 

Well, I'm sorry it turned out this way. :( I was rather hopeful for you. I agree with you life is unfair... or rather... i certainly feel that it is unfair. more intellectually, i think fairness is a very ummm... "confined, human concept?" so it is difficult to apply it to something so much bigger than us, and unknown as "life" ... so i toss up my hands. we just have to get on with life fair or not though.

You had a strong attitude in your other post, and i'm hoping you will bounce back soon. They say when one door closes, another opens ehhh - you know, one of those lovely platitudes to make people feel better when something doesn't go right. It has never made me feel better much, but i think the point is not to keep looking at the closed door, and it sounds like you aren't. That is commendable, and really the only constructive way to approach things.

As for your friends and neighbors, well only you can really decide who the best people are for you to be with. My only concern in your neighborhood is exercising caution since we know "the" not nice neighbor lies and can manipulate others, and at least one neighbor was somehow sucked into lying on her behalf. So my fear, from far away now, and not knowing the other neighbors or their possible strength of character, is that she may pull that stunt to "use" other people against you. I certainly hope not.

Now, even if someone uses drugs does that person will not necessarily lend themselves to be the woman's pawn. The only caution there is to stay clear of premises where there are drugs, during times use is ongoing. Because if there is a raid when people are using, pretty much everyone on the premises will be booked regardless if you never touched the stuff.

But as far as friends go, follow your heart. I just hope you have some people, neighborhood or not, that are good for you and good to you, and that honestly help sustain you. Especially at times like this.

Take care. :hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Thank you Bobby, Mari, and Waves.

As my life goes along people come and go out of my life all the time. I believe that there is always a reason for each and every passer by in my life whether good or bad. For the ones no longer in my life they are gone because their purpose with me has been accomplished and are no longer needed. The toxic people I've ever allowed in my life are teaching me to learn about setting boudaries with people. I have always had a problem with boundaries so maybe that's why God keeps putting those people in my life to give me more practice with setting boundaries till I get it right.

The neighbors of mine where I live respect my wishes to not be around me if they use drugs. Not all do drugs. One is in a treatment center for alcoholics and that's it. I've had my trials with my friends here at 1st but we worked them out and now we are cool with each other. When we do have hurt feelings or anger we'll talk it out or apologize and then move on. My next door neighbor seems to have it out for me but I have to deal somehow because now I have no way to move. I know these people better and longer except the one next door, than the ones who are of outside the neighborhood and totally straight people. I do not know how to deal with the woman outside the apartment who are judgemental and opinionated. They do it in such a sneaky nice way I don't realize I let my boundaries down for them when they meddle. I have no experience in dealing with these ladies outside my apartment complex like I do my friends in the neighborhood. I will though learn how to deal because I'm not going to be able to exclude everyone out of my life because they overstep my boundaries. They would not be doing so if I set boundaries with them in a way that will work for them and I. Once I learn how to tailor make my boundaries with these ladies as they are complete opposites of what I'm use to in the neighborhood friends I will know more. If they don't accept the boundaries I set with them then I can get them out of my life.

I know that was long but I kind of wrote as I thought it out. I'm going to do some soul searching and ask for suggestions as to set boundaries with those on the outside of the neighborhood.

Good luck with that barbara,
I too have a terrible time setting boundaries or invading some one elses boundary.
beth

Thank you Beth. I called my one friends this morning who I knew would give me a hard time about what happened in court. She told me my lawyer was no good. I asked her what did she have to back that statement up. She said she was sorry maybe she shouldn't have even mentioned it even if she is right about it. I let her know I was unhappy for her comments about my lawyer and she said she has a right to express her opinion. I told her not if it hurts and upsets me. She said since we were disgreeing she was going to hang up. I see now that I don't want her in my life unless she comes around and treats me better.

I'm sorry this didn't turn out the way you had hoped Barbara. But, I think it's made you stronger inside. This has been heavy on your mind for some time now and I can honestly say I feel you being more upbeat and positive. :hug:

Thank you BJ. I do feel better.

barbara

Barbara

Next time someone says something to upset you. Just let them
know. If they want to continue use a phrase I give my parents
in heated discussions with schools.

We are just going to have to agree to disagree on this.

In the case of my parents then I say, you also tell the school if
they want to fight about this. Then the meeting is over till
they are ready to agree with you. And then wait for a answer.

So maybe to a friend or so. You could say.

We need to just agree to disagree about this situation.

And if you can't do this and drop it. Then we will part ways, or
stop the phone call. And talk when we can not let this be a issue.

It is upsetting me.

Donna

Thank you Donna,

Good idea.

Barbara