a change of heart, a change of mind
 

Well, it's been a while since i last posted. I was last seen under a large dark cloud of gloom that I could not see a way through.
I was inspired by a prayer and a healing touch.
I spoke to my mum who told me I should 'look on the bright side'. At the time I couldn't SEE a bright side.
and I thought I was in for a long journey into depression....

but i'm happy to report that things have improved.
I no longer have any side effects from the Beta jabs; that's got to be good...
I really feel that the Beta is working in the right direction...
I had a neuro appt today and was told in no uncertain terms that I was looking well, things are not worsening, and that I should look on the bright side!!!...
I refrained from shouting at him...
and was told by the receptionist to get back on my horse and enjoy life (literally)...
I didn't throttle her...
I went away and thought hard...
I went to speak to my counselling lecturer... and I've had a stark about-turn of thought and change of heart.

I am going to go into business offering counselling in my area. I CAN do it...I am ready... people will come... I am capable. I've worked hard on my course and I WILL use it.

Instead of thinking what I can't do, I'm thinking of all that I CAN do. Starting now. and I'm starting with writing a HUNDRED things that I am grateful for.

I've had it with MS. It is NO LONGER in charge.
I MUST give myself a break and let ME ENJOY life again.

I'm off to start my list :) :winky:

Hope you're all well out there. :hug:

That's the spirit!! :)

Always look forward....never back. I heard a saying yesterday that made a lot of sense to me. "Don't try to move forward looking in the rearview mirror....always look forward."

I'm so happy you're feeling better! :hug:

I am so happy that the Beta is less of a problem now. I love Beta, and had very few side effects from it. it was my number one choice for a DMD, but my liver didnt like it, so I got pulled. It really is hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. I am glad you were patient.

hang in there. :hug:

Yeaaaaaaaa Pud's..Way to go!!!..:hug:

Congratulations! Keep going!

Niko:cool:

Awwww I'm happy for you, Pud! I'm on Betaseron too. Just started it 5 weeks ago after being on Copaxone almost 10 years. It's going fairly well so far. I'm so glad to hear you sounding so positive. It does all our hearts good here on NT. :hug:

:(
Was I TOO HAPPY?

Was I too AMBITIOUS??

Was I far too JOLLY???

Or was the god of crap fever smiling down at me?

Last night I had THE worst side effects EVER!!! Blimey !! Smother me with a pillow NOW, Someone!!!

That'll teach me to count my chickens eh? :eek:

Well, crapola!!!!!:(

i hope that was just a fluke and you con't on your upward swing.

Are you on a full dose yet? If you're titrating up sometimes the increase in dosage will cause an episode of side effects. Since its an Interferon most people will generally have some type of side effects when increasing the dose.

I hope you feel better today. Sometimes it takes a while to adjust to those meds. :hug:

I started on the full dose and never went back. bit the bullet.

my (useless) ms soc nurse told me i should come off my alternate daily brufen x2 and codeine x1 as it was 'too much medication'. i suggested to her that until she felt the force of the beta flu, she should just let me be the judge of that. i foolishly stopped taking them to try it out and got the full side effects. bang.

I am sorry to hear that the brown stuff hit the fan for you. :hug: I remember my Avonex flu. :( Just pre or post medicate, whichever one you feel more comfortable with.

Some put a pill and water by their bedside table, in case they wake up in the middle of the night with fever and aches. I hope it goes away for you.:)

You sound like you are made of tough stuff, so keep on fighting Pud. Do something special for yourself once in a while. Some frivolous. That works for me. :) We are all worth it. How's the list coming along?

I have tablets by the side of the bed but the other night, I was too stiff to move and hurting real bad.
I knew I had tabs there... I knew I had a cup of water.
I also knew that I had heard Pud LAPPING the water out of it earlier !!!!
Didn't fancy sharing... much as I love my feline friend :D

I got to 50 on my list before it got a bit repetitive.
100 things is a LOT !! Have you tried it??

No Pud, Sorry to say, but I have not made a list of 100 things I am grateful for. It sounds like a very positive thing to do though. At night I count my blessings, and what I am so thankful for, mostly the same thing as you do, you think?

I used to wake up in the morning and dwell on things like, "Okay, how am I feeling this morning?" I don't do that any more. I just get up. Whatever the day brings, it brings. Bring it on.. (knocking on wood). ;)

We all have our own little ways of dealing with our feelings and problems. If I have an important decision to make, I will write the pro's and con's down on paper. The visual thing does help, just like your list.:)

Your putty tat got the water. :) I hope the pill was still there. Feel better soon. Let us know how the next shot goes. Maybe you could ask if you could half the dosage for a while, to get used to it. Just a thought.