violent thoughts
 

I seriously am not myself. I am seeing a therapist tommorow. I got bothered and followed by a black man. And then on my way home a spanish man tried to steal from my back pack when I was on the crowded train. I had to stand and hold on. I turned around to look at my backpack and found it open and the guys hand right there! Then he was pretending he was reaching for his cell phone like he did not do anything.



I will not share my thoughts. I do not want anyone to be afraid of me.
I just wish this turmoil will go away. I have been like this for hours now only to feel more angry and wanting to use physical violence towards those individuals to satisfy myself. There is more but I cannot share :(

Dear Sharla,

i am so sorry you had these experiences.

i hope that the therapist can help ease your fears. you sound uncomfortable with yourself, definitely with these thoughts.

i suspect what you are going through... these thoughts... might be a normal, angry reaction to having been a victim of these aggressive behaviors from others.

i know that you are a good person. even if you are having violent thoughts.

(((HUGS)))

~ waves ~

Dear Sharla,
It is normal to be upset about being followed and almost having your stuff stolen off a standing room only subway.

Perhaps you are feeling beleaguered in the crowded city. I wish a local person would give you more tips about how to go from place to place.

BTW, I would not carry a back pack on a subway. Keep your stuff in front of you so you can keep your eyes on it.

Let the therapist know everything.
I hope she helps you.
M.

Me slamming my fists and elbows into the thief's face and nose until his blood spills onto the ground and make sure there is some teeth missing for me to claim a victorious fatality?

Getting angry is normal but I was afraid of getting out of control so I locked myself up in my room. I do not want to hurt anyone but at the same time I wonder if it would help to hit some one who deserves to be hit? If it will make me feel less like a victim. Maybe make me look less vulnerable. But then there is a chance it will do complete opposite. It's hopeless:o

I am done being one. Even the cops tell me I should beat them till they bleed and the state outlawed pepper spray. I called the police to ask them about it and they said that I will be arrested if I carry it.

Ok so let us review:

In the state of New York it is ok to resort to physical violence to protect yourself.( Make them bleed it is very important to make your defense count ;))

It is against the law to carry pepper spray or use pepper spray to defend yourself in the state of New York.
(pepper spray is a more safer and a non violent way to defend yourself because in the end no one bleeds:D)


The state of New York runs backwards.

Why???

And what would happen if it did not run backwards? What would happen if it went forward?

:D :D :D

I made a funny!

:hug:

I did feel uncomfortable But now I can feel less uncomfortable by not carrying any backpacks.



I am glad I do not scare you :)

Thanks Waves :D:hug::hug:










QUOTE=waves;682680]Dear Sharla,

i am so sorry you had these experiences.

i hope that the therapist can help ease your fears. you sound uncomfortable with yourself, definitely with these thoughts.

i suspect what you are going through... these thoughts... might be a normal, angry reaction to having been a victim of these aggressive behaviors from others.

i know that you are a good person. even if you are having violent thoughts.

(((HUGS)))

~ waves ~[/QUOTE]

Dear Sharla,

Those cops are morons.
Most women do not have the upper body strength to hit a guy -- esp a guy who is prepared to fight back.

You can probably take a self-defense class for women. Ask the cops if they know where you can get a class like that.
Also, ask your tdoc.

That's good. Do not carry backpacks if you can find a better way.


M.

I took classes before, but I do not feel confident to use considering the fact that I have not had the chance to practice it. I feel that one will best to practice sparring. I felt more safe when I carried a knife. Now that is protection! Or pepper foam. But pepper foam was outlawed in MI.

Therapy went well. He knows what he is talking about. And connected well with me. I appreciated that.

Sharla

Dear Sharla
 

i am glad your therapist could connect with you. :)

listen when i was very angry with someone i remember having "fantasies" of smashing their head on a rock (now, that is kinda violent) and this person did not even attack me. they did something vile but it was not physical aggression. it does not happen all the time, but that time i was extremely upset by what happened. :o

anyway the thing is, i did not have any intent to hurt them. nonetheless, that image/scenario came into my head - recurrently. having the thoughts does not imply that you are dangerous to others. you have been repeatedly victimized. it is a strong reaction - to strong circumstances. i really think what you are experiencing is understandable here.

now regarding weapons. you can improvise. one thing i used to do when i was walking alone in a time or place that didn't feel secure, i would keep my keys out... specifically, i would walk with them gripped in my fist, with the tips of the keys jutting out between my fingers.

basically, if you have to punch someone, even if you don't punch them very hard or aim much... if you can get your fist in their face, with keys placed like that?
- you are going to hurt them.
- you are going to draw blood.
- you might even put their eye out.

but the idea is not so much to draw blood but to cause pain. reason is, while they react to the pain, you have time to get away. go for vulnerable areas - face, crotch, knees, feet.

backpacks. i carry a backpack. the way i do it is i carry it on one shoulder only, but i rotate the strap around my shoulder so that the backpack does not fall on my back, but to my side and toward my front, with the pockets near the front, and my arm/bent elbow clamps down over the top of it - if my hand is free i can cling to it also.

another thing i have seen women do is carry backpacks strapped to their front like a baby. that might be ok for a small backpack but i found it impairs my movement too much.

i too have to travel to/in a busy metropolitan area , with sardine-packed subways etc... i had my cellphone stolen out of my backpack once and attempts on my purse (found it open).

hang in there Sharla. i hope you are feeling less afraid of yourself. i know you have strong emotions - i remember you can be a bit of a peppery gal. :) that's OK, really!!! feelings and intent are really different things. i don't see you going out and jumping on some innocent person no matter how angry you are. and if you fight back a thug - well that is different. that is about asserting your physical safety. :hug::hug:

take care.

~ waves ~

This is good avice waves!
keep posting sharla....we are here to listen.
maybe you could take a karate class and actually spar with someone?
bizi

Dear Sharla...

are you feeling any better?

i hope you will check in some time soon.... :hug:

miss you.

~ waves ~

A quick upwards thrust with the heel of your hand to your victim's nose could be effective...