The Pain... Please i need support
 

So as I write this I'm sitting on the bathroom floor at my school. I came in to wash my hands and had an attack. Its been a week and a half to two weeks since I was diagnosed. This is the only place where anyone knows my pain and has suffered as I have suffered. It's only been two weeks and already I feel like I can't do this. The pain of this (Atypical) TN is knawing away at my soul. Let me make ot abundantly clear that not even a year ago I was extremely suicidal. And the last thing I want is those feelings back, but I am struggling... Please I need support

Hi Hunter,
Trust me I understand pain btw neck surgery and cancer surgery. I know pain can bring on intense emotional distress so first let me say try to calm yourself down. Im glad you came here as well. Hunter-- do you have meds for pain? Im sorry to you suffer from extreme depression. Do you have a good pdoc or school councelor? Sorry im horrible at spelling. I think you should call someone you feel close to you and tell them your in pain. There is nothing wrong with seeking out help for depression along with the stress of battling an illness you not alone at all in those feelings. What you need to do is reach out to someone today ? Will you do that ?

The people around me have three feelings toward my pain. Fake, Real, Dont care. And unfortunately, before i had TN I had West Nile Encephalitis. And had to deal with the awfulness that was that. But the entire school, student body-faculty, has either stopped caring or don't believe me, mostly the latter. The only people who still care are my family and the doctors. So yes my family knows about my pain. I'm on baclophen but it isnt working and i refuse to take any harder drugs (if they even prescribe them) due to my drug abuse past. i dont want to fall back into that. it almost killed me, in more ways then one. But yes i can talk to my mother and tell her im having these feelings again. Im in my last period class of highschool as i write this. I'm only 18 and have been through suicidal depression, panic attacks w/ heart palpitations, West Nile Encephalitis, and now... Trigeminal Neuralgia gets to be added to the list... why me?:confused:

Hunter ---that is heavy load to deal with and your not alone --you will find support here too. Listen kids at the age havent gone thru half the stuff u had so there clueless. Im not saying hardcore drugs at all but your docs should have a good idea with your medical history and depression history what mill be the best comb. Im so glad your reaching out --very smart. They have a tn tread and depression and people on this forum are loving and kind . I here if you need a friend even if it to vent. Things will turn around they always to your going thru rough time. Dont ever give up --I promise give things time and it will improve. :hug::hug::hug::hug:

Dear HunterS,I really hate to hear anyone talk of suicide my son did that I am truly sorry that you are in so much pain,panic attacks are very hard to deal with,but suicide is a premanent thing and everything else in this world is tempairy and it is a pain that will never leave all the people that love and care about you do you take meds for these attacks?

@mg neck prob- thank you very much :hug: I certainly hope people here are more understanding because ppl in my school have given me names like twitchy. Comical, yea sorta. But still kinda rude given how painful it is

@katmae- no worries, I'm feeling a little better. I always feel physically and emotionally depleted after TN attacks. But the panic attacks have been under control for quite a while now... Like a year and some odd months and no I'm not on any meds for anxiety. It's funny actually, benzodiazepines work on damn near everyone, well guess what! I'm in the slim percentage they don't work on. I once popped 60 mg of valium (diazepam) to prove a point, I gave my friend one to prove to him it wasn't fake. He passed out within the hour. I however remained 100% unaltered cognitively or physically. But It's unbelievable that one person would have been able to catch and develop (whether through conditioning, genetics, or much more likely both) all of this within this time frame but I pulled it off..

Yowsers... 60mg of Valium?

Valium comes in 2mg, 5mg, and 10mg doses.(oral)

Really high doses of Valium will suppress breathing.

This link shows the medical dosing of valium:
http://reference.medscape.com/drug/v...iazepam-342902

60mg at once? not wise.

Theres the thing though, benzos dont work on me, none of them. Any way shape or form. They never slowed my breathing or caused drowsiness or anything.

Hunter, I am SO sorry you are having to deal with so many difficult things! I agree with what others have said here. Thoughts of suicide are understandable, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and would deeply hurt your family and friends. Keep trying to find answers and solutions. Not all medications are addictive. Make sure your doctors know your concerns about that, but don't be afraid to take meds that will help you. Kids your age may not have much understanding about what you are going through. Find people who do, like the people here. I hope you find some treatments that help soon -keep trying!

Thank you all, I'm very thankful.:grouphug: Ive been very depressed today, I have had two attacks already. And they were not weak, thank the Divines I wasn't driving this morning, as i probably would have crashed into oncoming traffic had I been. And I know suicide isnt the answer but... well haha this is the one place i dont have to explain pain in great detail. its nice having people who understand