The past can haunt you
 

Like nothing else can.:(

Yeah, it can. But, it can also show you how STRONG you are because you survived it.

Barb

I don't feel strong. :(

Maybe right now you don't. But, way down deep inside -- in the 'inner monkey' is a strength that you don't even know you have yet.

You need to get your SELF in touch with the energy of the world, sugar. Go outside and be with wild animals and trees and plants and just FEEL the energy. YOU are part of that energy. It flows in you and through you. That energy's what's kept you going all this time.

You've had to hide it though, 'cause some are afraid to be around strength. They don't realize strength is a GOOD THING (excuse the Martha-ism :p ).

You don't have to hide anymore. Allow yourself to FEEL what's really in there.

BIG HUGS.

Barb

Have you ever looked -- REALLY LOOKED -- at a very-very old tree??

They aren't perfect. They have 'bendie' places. They have missing branches. They have worm holes and bug holes. And squirrel nests. And rotten acorns inside abandoned squirrel nests.

Some are straight. Some are bent over. They always remind me of the kinds of spines that people have. All different shapes.

The thing is >> to get to be a big OLD tree, they had to put with hurricanes and floods, and all sorts of critters trying to infest their insides. But, they survive.

There's a walkway near where I live. Someone a long time ago decided to plant a whole line of the same kind of tree along the path. I have no idea what kind of trees they are. My Brother's good at that. I'm not.

What ever kind of tree it is -- it's prone to be infested with insects from the bottom up. It eats out the insides.

There's one tree >> the whole top half of the thing fell off and landed on the fence next to the nursing home. There's a squirrel living inside -- I saw a baby squirrel last Spring -- cutest thing I ever saw :p One whole side of the tree is missing because the bugs and the rot ate it out.

But, you know that durn tree STILL has new growth on it.

If you ever looked at the thing, you'd swear it should go to the chipper -- not even good for firewood. YET, she **LIVES**.

I imagine it can't be all that bad having squirrels living inside you. After all, I've got bats -- can't be that different :p

PERFECTION doesn't exist -- we're never gonna get there.

What we have is right now. And if you look around you -- at the beautiful things (like trees and puppies) and at the nice people -- it's not so bad out there.

You're not in the past anymore. That place doesn't exist anymore. If you're in a place now that reminds you of that place, maybe it's time to think about leaving it.

You HAD TO stay when you were a kid. Now that you're grown up, you don't have to take any ""SHIPS"" anymore.

BIG HUGS.

Barb

Firemonkey,

Yes, it can. Those times when we're able to move away from the haunting, it can come up and hit us so hard that we wished we'd never let our guard down. I know.

I'm sorry you're haunted.

I've learned that I can't escape my past. Therefore, I'm trying to accept it...the incredibly ugly as well.

I hear you and hope the pain eases.

KD