NeuroTalk Support Groups - My wife of 26 and a half years

My wife of 26 and a half years passed away in April of this year of cancer. I was on the outs with her 2 boys. They cut off all contact with me since about 2012. They would not come to visit us as long as I was here and they would not let us visit them as a couple. My wife in effect was forced to choose between us. It drove a big wedge between us. We had barely hugged in the years since. I wasn't even allowed to touch her in bed at night, so I was very careful not to disturb her.

Now when I get into or out of bed I glance over towards her side to not disturb her. I even find myself apologizing to her for making a production of it sometimes.

Anyway, her boys and their wives descended on the house began snapping up was her separate property and what was her personal use belongings. I was cool and helped them find some stuff. They snatched pictures (her alone or with members of only her side of the family} off the walls and like that. After they left I told my boys they were not to enter without my specific permission. They installed an alarm on the house, changed all the locks and put up no trespassing signs. The house is solely mine now due to the legalese of our Living Trust. So are numerous other things.

I decided to pack up "her" stuff and we got boxes and boxed up a dog pile of stuff. With various children, siblings and anyone else helping it took 3 months. This leisurely pace gave me 3 months to part with her, looking at old cards we sent each other over the years, all her flotsum and jetsam and loads of pictures. It made me very sad but haven't cried until I saw an old tear-jerker movie on Lifetime. I thought I was going to have a stroke, bawling as loud as I could until it sounded like laughing. I haven't watched Lifetime (the 'woman-in-peril' channel) since. Otherwise it was just numbness. It felt like her passing was out of the blue. It really wasn't I just put on blinders because I didn't understand how serious it was. She was secretive and private.

I wasn't mad at her and she wasn't and at me I divorced my first wife of 22 years in what turned out to be a major conflustragation. I was glad to be rid of her and erased her from memory. So this is different (Although I attempted suicide by knife 3 days after she moved out- in 1989).

Well, that's my story and I don't expect anyone to pick sides (1st wife) or tell me it'll get better (2nd wife). Thank you in advance for letting me vent). Vic