need light
 

to my friends here. sm is asking that a candle be lit for her. we were told on 2-14 she had 4 wks to live at most. she seems very close to death tonite. she is still using the potty with our help. her eyes are oozing and slits. i sat in front of her so she could lean on me (it is only position she can pee in). she was surprised she can see me and thanked me for the hug. she asked was she dead yet, and where is dad. she held on dad's hand and would not let go. she is needing all the candles so she can see the light and cross over. that's what she wants. please light one.

I'm so sorry about your dear step mom, but so glad you are there for her.

I don't have a candle to light, but will keep you both in my prayers. :hug:

I'm so sorry.

Yes, I'll light a candle for her this evening. I'll light several.

:hug:

Candles being lit, prayers being said. God Bless you! what a wonderful step child you are. :hug:

((( Definitely will light candles for her ))))

the catheter
 

Thanks everyone for the prayers, hugs, & candles.

SM has had a very rough day. After we stopped the transfers to commode (on doctor orders) she was miserable and did not understand what was happening. She can't hear or see now. We ran out of the diapers before nurse came and had to use pads. Then the catheter placement was hard as she was quite swollen and this made it painful. Dad was holding both her hands and I her legs. She was struggling and in great pain. During the struggle her G tube got pulled out about an inch, then would not go back in. Nurse said it would not matter so long as it keeps draining. It is not draining so I called the on call nurse. after the G tube incident we gave her the maximum morphine dose and got the catheter in. She has been asleep since then. I am worried.

On call nurse is sending Dr over early in he morning to fix the G tube.

Her time left is about a week.

I'll keep you and your step mum in my thoughts during this really difficult time.

I hope the doctor did arrive and that she's feeling more comfortable now.

Take care of yourself there and thank you for the update. I had wondered how she was doing.

I'll keep a candle burning.

dad questioning definition of extraordinary measures
 

status as of today. sm has bedsores on back and one side. doctor was not able to fix g tube and in fact made it worse and more painful. refuses to put her in hospital to remove it. dad refused a tube through the nose to drain the stomach. i was gone at the time fighting fmla paperwork battle. the nurse tells us when the vomit comes up she will probably drown. dad has not changed his mind.

she is gurgling on her own spit and heavily sedated. nurse says she cannot swallow. we put her on her good side and placed a towel to catch the drool. dad is now questioning the wisdom of iv saline/glucose and oxygen as well. i told him i support whatever decision he makes. we are both beginning to see how nonspecific a living will and dnr are. dad is looking for more information on how the designated decision maker can choose wisely. what he found is that this has not been researched much.

sm is unconscious and can only respond to extreme pain which she only gets from doctors and nurses. back when she could talk she said she was afraid. i am too.

please keep the prayers coming and candles burning, and thank you all.

gosh. really no words to type except to say that it sounds just dreadful.

I read your other post in the other forum last night and had hoped that the doc would help more.

I certainly am keeping you in my thoughts.

(((tied)))