I’m going to turn down a promotion and I’m feeling guilty
 

I feel like because I am not going to fight for what is fair and right, I’m letting not only myself down but the MS community as a whole, but I just don’t have the money or stamina to fight a multi-million dollar organization and end up losing. These situations are the reason ADA and discrimination laws came to be and it turns my stomach to think they’ll get by with it but I have to do what is right for me financially and not bring on any unneeded additional stress.

Every year the subject of our annual member’s picnic comes up and every year I get harassed about it. My boss goes to the location on a Saturday – unpaid, which in and of itself is a violation of our agreement since she’s an hourly employee – and sits out in the hot sun and makes sure our members have enough alcohol to get drunk, which is obviously very important. Every year I get snide remarks about how I’ll have to take this over as part of her position. Well, I had already worked it out with a co-worker – I was going to delegate it to her since she goes to the picnic every year anyway. Every situation that MS could potentially screw with me on, I had a workaround.

I had another discussion with the manager last week and she said I would be required to do the picnic as part of her job. WTH? What difference does it make if I’m there personally? :mad: I pointed out to her that our boss can’t legally force me to do something that I am physically unable to do due to a valid, documented medical condition (MS) which he and my immediate supervisor are aware that I have. This is not a valid part of any office job description – sitting out in the hot sun on a weekend, donating your time to the company and watching drunks make idiots of themselves! LMAO

She also mentioned that I would have to move to her office area, which has terrible airflow problems. It’s always too hot on that side of the room. I told her I didn’t think I could move to that area because of it and she said it wasn’t an option. I said I’d hate to think that our boss would want me to pass out at work! I also mentioned that it “could” be (I know damned well it is) a violation of ADA.

She then went on to say she didn’t know why I wanted her position anyhow and that I could get a medical excuse, etc., but that our boss would make my life a living hell because of it. He already calls her on some weekends and she’s had to come in (unpaid). She is expected to be at his beck and call and if I took the promotion, I would be too.

She pretty much ended the talk with go home and talk it over with your husband but I don’t think either of you will be happy if you take this position!

Long story short, I’m going to inform them within the next couple of weeks that I don’t want the promotion, I’ll stay in my current position. I’ll just suck it up and give up any aspirations I had for becoming the manager. It’s too bad too, because I had a lot of good ideas on how to improve our work, make us all more efficient and save the organization money, but I guess they’ll never know now.

Don't feel guilty, Cherokee. In know way should you feel as if you have to put yourself through that kind of stress and unreasonable expectations..:mad: Your boss sounds like a real jerk. It's too bad you have to work there at all.:(

You do what is right for you and nothing more.:hug:

Hi Cherokee,
It sounds to me like they really don't want you to take the position. :( The big boss would be "Put Out" by any words like, "Sorry, I can' do that weekend stuff for you."

They have ways of talking you out of taking positions that they don't want to have someone in, that is not fully able to complete, on demand. Then they make it sound like it would be in YOUR best interest not to take it. That is the impression I get.

I was in a similar position, it was the stress that made my job get harder and harder and double the work load. They knew I had MS but would/could not accommodate my hours, or my asking for a part-time person to assist me.

When I first started the job I had a part-time person to help. But trying to work well and do my best, they let that position stay empty when my assistant left on maternity leave and did not come back.

They said my job needed X amount of hours and they had no better explanation. They refused to add back another assistant for me. I know that the ADA would have something to say, but I wasn't about to go that route either.

Once you get on the head person's bad side, for any reason, they make life miserable in the work place for you. I have seen it done to others that had to quit because of the demands they put on them. It is so unfair.

I am sorry to hear that you have to be put in such a lousy situation at work just to do your job, and do it well. I wish you good luck in whatever you decide to do.:)

These people are bullies. Take a deep breathe, try not to be personal and emotional with a no thank you - I must do what is best for me and the company and will stay in my current position where I can be effective best. It's them, not you!!!!

you have to put YOU first, then worry about improving the lives, and working conditions of others. Its not selfish to put YOU YOU YOU first! It sounds like you work for a bunch of knuckle heads. DRunken weekends, being on call without pay, little accountability, paying a great deal of money for booze, but not for fixing the air flow problem (sounds like they have warped priorities) which would benefit the health and well being of the staff. yep! these folks are winners.

Work is work, it isnt supposed to be fun, and we do what we have to do to survive, financially, and professionally, but it sounds like this crew isnt gonna care much about protecting, or taking care of their employees. As long as the drunken weekend in the sun gets pulled off, all are happy?

Good for you! :hug:

You're doing the right thing, Cherokee. Nothing to feel guilty about. I know how it is to work for demanding people and trying to stay two steps ahead of them is exhausting. I couldn't do it now. You're doing the right thing for you and that's all that matters. :hug:

Listening to the story, even without MS, I wouldn't take the position! They probably wouldn't want me to. :D

When it comes to someone wanting me to do unpaid work when I'm an hourly employee would not set well with me. :mad: I've had two places of employment already that I went searching the department of labour to make sure some of the stuff they did was within the rules. Barely, both times. :rolleyes:

Of course my first response about overseeing the picnic as part of the job, I would've said "got it in writing?" :D Don't think they would've been interested in someone like me. ;)

About 5 months after my craniotomy for my diagnosis I had a similar opportunity, though it's for a good outfit and I get along with everybody fine. They're exceedingly understanding.

But the added responsibility and the sort of long range thinking that's required I'm not up to anymore. I wish I would've stayed where I was which was nice and comfortable and not that much less money. You're doing the right thing. As soon as a position becomes available I'm going to take a pay cut and move back to my old job or something similar.

Don't feel guilty!!! Those people will never care about you as much as you care about you!

To me that promotion sounds like a tremendous about of stress. Don't feel guilty about turning it down, you need to think of yourself first. I'm sorry they are making it so difficult for you to accept the promotion and do a good job.